JULY

After more than ten years, the concept of leadership discontinued for good. To someone who has been a graduate for more than one year, I was expected to figure things out for myself already. Instead, there I was, still stuck and clueless with what my path should really be. It was the purpose for discontinuing leadership - it was for me to find out the answer.

The first few days of July was not easy. I just had my very first job, and I thought I would be fine. But I was wrong. It was the moment when I completely lost my sense of self. I suddenly became unhappy. I lost all my freedom to do things that would give me true happiness. It was because I was forced to match up to standards that would not be feasible for me to reach, and to follow rules that sometimes may not be even right anymore.

My job lasted for four days. After that, I was not asked to return. Everything went back to how it was used to be, until something unexpected happened later that month.

I received a text message from my suitor. He told me that he is in love with someone else.

Well I did mention that I do not really have romantic feelings for him, but it was weird. He used to be enthusiastic about his affection for me, but….  what happened? Did I do anything? Have I done something that offended him? What have I done to deserve this?

The old me that I thought was gone came back to life. I thought everything fell in place, but was I wrong? Maybe I still didn’t know myself. Maybe.. maybe, all along I really didn’t know myself.

It was precisely the purpose of being in the interim era.