July

I wrote a letter to my mom last Sunday.

It read: "I love you pillow. I hope I always make you happy." She was touched.

Over the past six months it has been overwhelming. While it has been good so far on his end, in my end it was not perfect. It's now the middle of the year. I'm gonna ask myself - have we done something meaningful this year?

We've had events, yes. I tried to do things I have never done, yes. I discovered a lot of things in this world, yes. I had new experiences, yes. I've had great memories, yes. I learned a lot, yes. But did all these made sense? Did I help anyone?

I cannot say yes, but one thing that I can say about right now is that I just kept going. I may feel stuck but at least I'm moving forward. I'm open to any opportunity that will help me grow. I'm willing to accept my mistakes and overcome them next time. I'm stronger and can and will not be shaken.. even when the next dissolution comes.

And right now, even in undesirable times I believe that there are so many great things about this world that we normally don't see. I'm grateful for everything that has happened so far. Just the fact that Cara is still leading to this day and, after a half year, remains unshaken.. something that is so hard to achieve for any leader in the past - just the fact that someone like Cara, someone as amazing as him.. THE Cara.. is the one LEADING....  it's more than enough. And by the way, compared to last year we had more events this year!

Most importantly, since this one I'm glad that leadership finally went back to how it's supposed to be. It hasn't been like this since, like around Melo-time..? It's now as peaceful as how I wanted for this concept to be in the first place. I've never been more than happy.

I'm here to take the time to appreciate great things in life. That is something that most of us unfortunately sometimes fail to do. Maybe because we're pressured by what society tells us. Because we want to achieve unrealistic standards. Because of our situations. Because we're insecure.. because we compare ourselves to others too much. Because we're just worried about the future. Sometimes it helps if we just stop, pause and reflect on this new world. Ask your loved ones, how's your day? Look at the sky. The flowers blooming, every raindrop that falls on the ground that you see. If you live in the moment, you will realize how grateful you are that you're alive.

So just do what makes you happy and let go.

Of course, as Yoongi said we still have to think ahead.

I have been doing it for so long but it was not easy. That being said, at least that I can say that I'm moving closer to where I want to be. Meanwhile I'm happy with where I am now.

Each day I'm discovering myself more, as each day I'm moving closer to loving myself.

I wonder what he can say about this.