A new beginning was about to start. Everything was overwhelming. Awards shows, year end specials, the list goes on.

I learned that my babies almost went on separate ways - though in the end, they have decided to still stay together. For me. For us.

All the more that I should be fine. Should they fall apart, what might happen? As a responsible ARMY, I should be happy that they’re happy - but should they lose their relatability, that one thing that's very important to self-actualization?

I thought I was fine, so I spent the rest of the year waiting for Cara-time. It was announced last month (in particular, first anniversary of the dissolution) that Taehyung - or should I call him Cara from this point on? - was chosen to be the next leader and was about to begin on January 2019. His birthday was on December 30, making it the perfect time to start his leadership - which was in two days. I wrote in an open letter about how happy I was to have chosen him and how excited I was for Cara-time. I did mention a lot of things from my previous note. I made references to "the one that got away". I wrote that his was the story I had been longing to read.

Finally, he began his leadership as the concept returned, hoping for the better.

I thought I was ready to enter the new world.

I thought.