JUNE

I learned through successive conversations on Facebook and Instagram that the person who first talked to me after Harry’s concert.. was my suitor. I never saw that coming.

I never thought this would happen, especially for someone like me who thought she was unloved.. who thought that she’s just another girl whom anyone would just pass by.. who has always been insecure of her status in life as she always feels that she is left behind..

And he said that he would do everything for me. He seemed nice. And as a friend, I do also like him. But here’s my thing: I didn’t have any romantic feelings towards him. I also wanted to be sure. I only wanted to be safe and make sure I end up with the right person. I thought he might only be taking advantage of me. He might only use me. He might sabotage me. He might use my emotions only to get away with everything. I did not want to subject myself to that risk, considering that I only knew him for a month.

Yet I had second thoughts. I was thinking, what if I went with it instead? Would I have missed out on a very beautiful love story? And perhaps the only one that could have been written on my life? Because I felt like he’s the only person whom I will ever have a chance with.

Back then, I told him to wait for the right time and he agreed.

Meanwhile, it was the final month for leadership before going on hiatus. True to the vision of looking forward and not looking back, I was already looking forward to the next era.. which will then set the stage for a different story about to unfold.