Our task and the insanity of it

Thanks to new advancements in modern technology, there is no hope for humanity. The beginning of Half-Life prophesied the giant roadblock to our continued survival. When experimenting with portals, extra dimensions, and high-energy equipment (all requisites of each other,) the chances of alien intervention, specifically regarding lizard people, are nearly 100%.

It is just our love of these devices which allow us to continue to experiment. Lizard people are repulsed by love. This is why the community of scientists responsible for this blog often seem stupidly happy--we're being stalked by lizard people, and the lizard people find us if we stop being that way.

The insanity quotient of our community is 1/2 in six months, with our member rate being doubled every six months to replace the ones who lost their minds during space travel. 

Although lizard people rarely travel through portals, their existence in the 4th or 5th dimension allows them to watch our experiments, and tamper with our results. We are very frustrated with the lizard people, but understand that to voice our frustration to them is merely to have a thought in our heads, because the lizard people are telepathic.