Mavis and Ron Frye


Ronald and Mavis were active Jehovah's Witnesses for about thirty-three years. Ron's mother and Mavis' father had been Witnesses before them and their influence played a large part in their early association. They had one child, a daughter named Jamie who remains an active Witness along with her husband and three children.

Most of Ron and Mavis' association with the Witnesses was in the state of Minnesota. They are now retired in north-central part of the state on an acreage with their dogs and cats. Mavis was baptized in 1947 and Ron in 1942. In 1950 they entered the regular pioneer service while living in St. Paul, Minnesota. This service required a minimum of 100 hours time spent in public ministry every month. To do this, Ron resigned his commercial artist position in the advertising department of a midwest wholesale grocery company. They sold their home and had a small 8-by-22-foot trailer constructed that would be their home for the next 11 years.

In 1954 they were invited into the special pioneer service which required 150 hours of public ministry for each of them every month, including at least 50 return visits to people that had been previously contacted in the work. They were assigned a "territory" to work in Alexandria, Minnesota, and the surrounding region. Jamie was eight years old when they moved to Alexandria. At the time, there were no other Jehovah's Witnesses in that area, so they had no regular association with other members. The five meetings a week that most Jehovah's Witnesses attend in Kingdom Halls, were for them (Ron, Mavis, and Jamie) held in their tiny trailer home. The monthly allowance for special pioneers at that time was $25.00 for each month that the 150 hours and 50 "backcalls" quotas were achieved. The combined allowance of $50.00 a month hardly covered the cost of maintaining their car in an area where little interest existed and was scattered over many miles of rural territory. During the thirteen months they served in this assignment, Mavis developed ovarian cysts and they were forced to leave that assignment. So, after five years of pioneer service, they found it necessary to stop for some time, and moved to Forest Lake, Minnesota, where they continued in the regular service of Jehovah's Witnesses.

In 1956 they began pioneering again, and in 1957 they accepted another special pioneer assignment in Redwood Falls, Minnesota, where they served for three years. In 1960 they were forced once again by health and financial circumstances to give up their pioneer service, so after four years they returned once again to being "regular publishers" (term for the rank-and-file Jehovah's Witnesses).

When Mavis had recovered, they reentered the pioneers service again in 1966, and in 1967 Ron was invited to serve as a circuit overseer in upstate New York. There, they served over two different circuits, each having about 20 congregations. So in that year they visited and ministered to about 40 congregations. By now, Jamie was grown and married. The circuit work proved to be too strenuous for Mavis, and they returned to Austin, Minnesota where Jamie and her husband lived. Thus ended their full-time service careers which had encompassed about a third of their lives in association with Jehovah's Witnesses. In between times, they were both very active in whatever congregation they attended, with Ron serving in various "servant" positions during all those years, including congregation overseer in five different congregations. In 1969 they moved to Owatonna, Minnesota, where they remained for the duration of their membership as Jehovah's Witnesses.

It was in the winter of 1970-71 that Ron happened to have a conversation with another long-time friend, also a Witness, regarding the growing expectations for what the year 1975 would bring. As most long-time Witnesses remember, the belief was very prevalent in the early 1970s that the year 1975 was marked to usher in the long-awaited battle of Armageddon, which Jehovah's Witnesses awaited with the anticipation of surviving into a paradise earth thereafter. Following the conversation, Ron began to delve into more research about the Watch Tower Society's past history, in particular about the published predictions of future events and end of the world. With this, Ron and Mavis gradually began to realize that the Watch Tower Society had been less than forthright about their past failed predictions, to the point of misrepresentation about it in their current publications. This editorial dishonesty resulted in deterioration of respect for the Society and resulted in loss of zeal to advance its agenda.

The year 1975 came and went. Mavis was the first to become inactive and she finally stopped attending meetings altogether by 1979. Ron lingered a while longer, but also became inactive and stopped meeting attendance in 1980. This naturally caused concern among their families and friends, who wondered about their inactivity in the service as well as the reasons behind it. Attempts to discuss the matter did little more than exacerbate the already painful situation. Then, in 1981, they were summoned before a congregation judicial committee and ultimately "disfellowshipped" from the organization. Thus, As is the practice of Jehovah's Witnesses toward expelled members, the lifetime friendships and family associations (including their daughter, Jamie) were brought to an abrupt end. Their entire social and religious structure was completely shattered in the process. Since then, they have never again been allowed to see or visit their three grandchildren. Eight close family members were lost to them. Ron's mother refused to even allow him to come and do work around her home in Austin, Minnesota-even if she was not around. Ron never saw his mother alive again.

In January, 1995, Ron's mother died. He was allowed to attend the memorial service, which was held in a Kingdom Hall in Tucson, Arizona. Arrangements were made for him to stay in a motel. He was bold beforehand that there would be absolutely no socializing either before or after that memorial service, and they were true to their word. Nevertheless, Ron was able to see, for a few fleeting moments, his grandchildren whom he had not seen since 1981, and has not seen since. Mavis did not attend.

Ron has done considerable writing since leaving the Witnesses. He associates with a nondenominational church and teaches adult Bible classes there. Mavis feels no such need and is content with her domestic activities, friends, pets, house plants, and a vegetable garden every year. After stressful living for so many years, she is content to enjoy some measure of "normalcy." They are both in good health and enjoy an active life. They are surrounded by woods and like to hike and bike. Mavis does a lot of refunding and couponing to supplement their limited retirement income, and Ron occasionally does some sign painting (a craft he acquired during his years of "pioneering"). Like many Witnesses in those years, they did not plan for old-age. Yet they are grateful for what they have, and for the most part they are happy and content.


A Shunned Former Jehovah's Witness Is Permitted to Attend His Mother's Funeral Service

Ron Frye, a proactive Christian whose profile appears on this website, served for some years as BRCI president and editor of the newsletter. In the Spring 1996 issue of the BRCI Quarterly, in his regular "President's Message," he wrote the following experience of attending his Jehovah's Witness mother's funeral in January 1996. Ron, a former Circuit Overseer, had not seen his mother since 1981 when he and his wife, Mavis, were disfellowshipped for "apostasy," even though they had lived in the same town for many years. This presents a typical situation for one who leaves the Watchtower religion, as dictated by their shunning practice toward those who leave the religion, especially for coming to disagree with any of its doctrine(s).

My mother died this past January and I traveled to Tucson, Arizona to attend a memorial service for her in a local Kingdom Hall. She had been a loyal and devoted Jehovah's Witness for 55 years. I hadn't seen her since being disfellowshipped in 1981. She and her sister, together with my daughter and her family moved from Minnesota to Tucson in 1994. The only family member that I had seen since 1981 was my daughter, but those two occasions were not planned and very, very brief. I realized that by attending my mother's memorial service I would have to deal with the reality of family alienation. Despite the problems and emotional difficulties I knew the trip would entail, I decided that I ought to go out of respect for my mother. I did not want to be like them and shun an important and intimate event. I knew I would need a greater measure of God's spirit to see me through this experience. Above all else, I wanted to reflect a genuine Christian spirit. If they were going to further demonize me I wanted it to be due to their spirit and not mine. I prayed about this often and asked my local community of believers to pray that I would be sustained by the spirit of Christ in all of this.

When my family knew I planned to come they said that they would have someone meet me and take me to a motel. I was told that they had a family meeting and decided there would be no socializing either before or after the service. I flew into Tucson about noon Monday, January 22, not knowing who would meet me. As it turned out it was my oldest grandson, Andrew, whom I hadn't seen since he was eleven-years-old, and my granddaughter's husband, Thomas, whom I had never met. I barely recognized Andrew but I could see traces of the boy on the man's face. He was polite and asked how his grandmother was but there was no display of affection. They drove me to a local motel where they had obtained a reservation for me. After I paid for the room Andrew said his parents would drop by later.

In the afternoon I got a call from the lobby saying my daughter and her husband were coming up to my room. As I waited I prayed again for a measure of God's spirit. On one of those occasions mentioned above I had impulsively hugged Jamie. I later learned that gesture of affection made her very uncomfortable. I decided I would not make that mistake again. When they knocked on the door I let them in and stepped back but Jamie did come forward and gave me a hug and I hugged her back. It only took a moment but it helped to melt away years of separation. Jamie had brought a small box of some things my mother had saved to see if there was anything I might want. She also brought some fruit and snacks for me. I appreciated the kindly gesture. We had a pleasant visit and after about 20 or 30 minutes they left. I learned that they were both pioneering and that Andrew had been at the Watchtower Farm for the past six years. They said their son-in-law, Thomas, would pick me up and take me to the Kingdom Hall that evening.

It was a curious experience to walk into a Kingdom Hall after so many years. It was quite full of people and I looked around to see if I could recognize my other grandchildren. Matthew, the youngest, was only three-years-old when I last saw him. He is now eighteen. I was only able to say hello to him but not much more. The nicest moment came when I saw my granddaughter, Francisca. She came over and gave me a loving embrace. We held on to each other for a long moment. She had become a very attractive and gracious woman. She led me to her little girl, Mesha, and introduced me to her as Papa, a term she had always used for me as a child. She was just entering her teen years the last time I saw her.

The first row of seats had been set aside for the family of my mother and I was seated at one end next to my daughter. My mother's sister, LuCreatia, sat at the other end and had made it clear that she didn't want to speak to me. She was the only one who drew this hard line. I felt sad for her because she and my mother had been very close. The elder gave a kindly review of my mother's life as a Witness. He pointed out that in all her 55 years as a Witness she never failed to report time! She had hoped to survive Armageddon, he said, but that was not to be. He told his audience that when she is resurrected they would have to tell her what Armageddon was like. I had to smile to myself at this. His eulogy was laced with references to my mother's devotion to Jehovah and his organization, citing examples of this. But made it a point to say he was not eulogizing her. This, too, reminded me of the Witness mindset. After singing a closing song the little service was ended. My mother had directed that she be cremated immediately so there was no reviewal. There was a small table set up with her picture on it together with a guest book. On the way out of the Kingdom Hall I paused to look at the picture and sign the book.

My daughter and her husband, Frank, drove me back to my motel. They got out of the car and we said our goodbyes. I hugged Jamie a final time and asked my son-in-law if he would be offended if I hugged him. He said he wouldn't be offended so I hugged him as well. Then, they were gone. True to their word, there had been no socializing either before or after the memorial service. Their collective consciences had allowed them to briefly show me a measure of human kindness but that door was only opened briefly and was now securely closed once more.

The following morning Thomas drove me to the airport. He and I spoke easily and I found myself liking him and feeling good about him being the husband of Francisca. I had been in Tucson less than twenty-four hours and only parts of several of those hours involved contacts with my family. I hardly had time to digest the experience. It was just a breath of time and yet filled with healing for me. Throughout the whole experience I felt a spiritual security and comfort that enabled me to focus on the needs of others. I know that dealing with me was not easy for my family under the circumstances. There are those among them who have affection for me but do not feel free to express that fully. They really do believe I have turned against Jehovah God. I understand that. They are not the enemy. The enemy are those 'strongholds of arguments and pretensions that set themselves up against the knowledge of God,' (2 Cor. 10:4-6) I am grateful for having been delivered from a religious community that has created a gospel that goes beyond the true gospel of Jesus Christ and is destructive in many ways. But I feel compassion for those who remain caught in its web. I pray that Christ will have mercy towards them. I know my mother loved God with all her heart and was faithful to her perception of what His will for her was. I must let the matter rest there.

I feel a sense of relief and comfort knowing my mother's journey has come to a close. Her future judgment rests with One supremely qualified to make that judgment on her. A text that has always been a comfort to me in this respect is Isaiah 11:3,4 "He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth." I find comfort in knowing our Lord's insight transcends human limitations. At this time it is sufficient for me to focus on my life in Christ. Do I reflect his spirit? Am I growing into a fuller measure of what it means to be a Christian? I want to live out what remains of my life waging the war that Christ would have me engaged in and keeping in mind: "...we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."--2 Cor. 10:3-5 NIV. That warfare is fought on two fronts: One internal and one external.

--Ron Frye (1996)


TheChristianRespondent.pdf