Domestic Violence (DV): a pattern of assaultive/coercive behaviors used to gain and/or maintain control in a relationship. 

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV): forms of violence seen in the context of intimate or sexual relationships, excluding child, elderly, and any household member abuse.

Physical Abuse: punching, shoving, slapping, biting, kicking, using a weapon against another, throwing items, breaking items, pulling hair, and restraining another person. 

Emotional/Verbal Abuse: putting another down, calling names, criticizing, playing mind games, humiliation, and guilt tripping. 

Psychological Abuse: behaviour that aims to cause emotional or mental harm

Financial Abuse: keeping someone from getting a job, getting someone fired on purpose, making someone ask for money or taking their money, expecting them to support the abuser. 

Sexual Abuse: forcing someone to perform sexual acts that are uncomfortable for her or him, engaging in affairs, telling partner he or she is asking for the abuse, telling someone what to wear,  accusing partner of affairs, criticizing sexual performance, withholding affection. 

Minimizing/Denying: making light of abuse, saying abuse did not happen, saying the abuse was mutual, blaming partner for the abuse. 

Social Isolation: controlling who someone sees and talks to/where they go, and limiting another's involvement in events. 

Coercion/Threats/Intimidation: making another afraid by looks or gestures, destroying property, hurting pets, displaying weapons, threatening to eave, taking children, threats to commit suicide, threatening to reveal any form of sexuality to the public. 

Even though people talk more openly about domestic violence today, there’s still a huge problem when it comes to spotting it early - especially for young people or those entering their first serious relationships. A lot of abuse doesn’t start with physical violence; it often begins with subtle behaviors that can be easy to miss or excuse. In Washington State, there's very little information available that breaks down what early signs of abuse actually look like, especially from the viewpoint of survivors or professionals who work with victims every day. Most of the resources focus on what abuse looks like once it's already gotten dangerous, not how it begins. That makes it harder for people to recognize unhealthy patterns before they escalate into something more serious. The reality is, without a clear understanding of these early warning signs, people - especially teens and young adults - are at greater risk of getting caught in toxic or dangerous relationships. There’s a major gap in localized research that talks about the behaviors of abusers in our own communities, and that gap leaves many without the tools to protect themselves or others. This project was created to help close that gap and bring more attention to the behaviors that often come before the violence.

Through an exploratory investigation, are there a set of traits, characteristics, and behaviors that make up a domestic abuser in Washington State?

     a. How can we use these results to protect potential victims? 

This research matters because it helps real people, especially young people, understand what abuse can look like before it becomes physical or life-threatening. A lot of the time, victims don’t realize they’re being abused until things have already gotten really bad, and by then, it can be much harder to get out. By talking to both survivors and professionals, this study found patterns in the ways abusers act early on - things like intense jealousy, controlling behavior, love bombing, or isolating their partner from friends and family. These are behaviors that people might not see as abusive at first, but they often turn into something more harmful over time. Sharing these patterns helps educate people so they can recognize red flags sooner and make safer choices in their relationships. It also gives tools to friends, family members, and communities who want to support someone they’re worried about. The more we understand about how abuse starts, the better we can stop it before it becomes dangerous. At its core, this research is about giving people the knowledge they need to protect themselves and others - and that can potentially save lives.

I hypothesized domestic abusers in Washington State share common and identifiable psychological/behavioral traits that, if recognized early, could help prevent domestic violence incidents. By studying the psychological makeup of abusers through surveys of victims and experts regarding early warning signs and common traits/behaviors, it may be possible to develop a reliable way for identifying potential abusers before violence occurs. This outline would increase public awareness and lead to earlier interventions, hopefully reducing domestic violence rates in Washington state. 

Research Design: For this study, I used a descriptive mixed-methods approach, combining survey data and thematic analysis to explore patterns in domestic abusers based on the perspectives of survivors and professionals in Washington State. My goal was to uncover common traits and themes that could help inform and protect potential victims. Given the sensitivity of the topic, I designed the methodology to prioritize safety, trust, and honesty for all participants. Mixed-method research allowed me to gather both qualitative and quantitative data: the qualitative responses provided insight into real-world experiences and answered deeper questions about behavior, while the quantitative data identified numeric trends. Together, these methods offered a well-rounded understanding of the subject. I used purposive sampling to ensure that participants - survivors of domestic violence and professionals with direct experience - were relevant to the study, and all were over the age of 19. Survivors offered personal, human perspectives, while professionals contributed broader insights based on multiple cases.

Communication & Recruitment: To advertise my study, I created both digital and physical posters that explained the research process, outlined who I was hoping to recruit, and included a QR code linking to my official research website. On the site, participants could access the digital consent form and the online survey through separate QR codes. I shared the study through a Reddit post on a domestic violence support page, email outreach, and posters placed in a Washington State 4A high school staff lounge. Each outreach included a digital copy of the poster and a brief explanation of who I am and why I chose to conduct this research. All communication was done through a monitored school email and a professional research account.

The Survey: An online survey on Google Forms was used. Within the survey, I curated qualitative data with open-ended questions and quantitative results with yes/no questions. I decided to split up my survey into seven sections: welcome, consent, introduction, professional observations, influence of external factors, relationship dynamics, and survivor perspectives. Each section wanted answers from specific people; for example, I wanted only survivors to answer questions in the 'Survivor Perspectives' section, and only professional answers in their designated section. The other sections were open to any perspective. 

Processing Data: Since my form generated both quantitative and qualitative data, I used the quantitative results to identify binary trends and conducted a thematic analysis of the qualitative responses by reviewing them multiple times to extract common phrases, descriptors, and behaviors. After identifying key themes about domestic abusers in Washington State, I compared the number of participants to the Central Limit Theorem to assess whether my data could be considered representative and used to describe common patterns.

Ethical Considerations: Given the emotional impact and potential risks of sharing experiences related to domestic violence, I created a detailed consent form to ensure that each participant was fully informed about what the study would involve. The form explained that participation would remain anonymous and all data would be kept confidential. It also emphasized that participation was entirely voluntary, allowing individuals to skip any questions or exit the study at any time. Lastly, the form acknowledged the possibility of emotional discomfort that could arise from recalling or discussing personal experiences.

Bias: There were two forms of bias I addressed in my research: participation selection bias and researcher bias. Participation selection bias occurs when the group of participants isn’t fully representative of the broader population, so I used purposive sampling across multiple platforms and allowed individuals of all backgrounds over the age of 19 to participate. Researcher bias happens when personal experiences or beliefs influence how data is interpreted; since I have witnessed the effects of domestic violence firsthand, I acknowledged this and conducted multiple peer reviews throughout the process to help ensure objectivity and neutrality.

Small Sample Size

• Only six respondents completed the survey, which does not meet the Central Limit Theorem.

• The limited sample prevents the findings from being generalized or compared to other datasets.

• This underrepresents the domestic abuser population in Washington State.

• A longer data collection period and more outreach (e.g., online posts) may have improved participation and representativeness.

Lack of Diversity in Sample

• All participants identified as female and were either straight or bisexual.

• The cohort lacked representation across various ethnicities and religions based on U.S. Census demographics.

• As a result, the findings cannot accurately reflect the full demographic range of domestic abusers in Washington State.

Narrow Scope of Relationship Types

• All experiences shared involved intimate partner relationships.

• Other types of domestic violence relationships (familial, LGBTQ,+ non-romantic, etc) were not represented.

• Broader inclusion could have led to a more comprehensive profile of domestic abusers.

Biases in Self-Reported Data and Interpretations

• Survey responses were subjective and may reflect participant biases.

• Researcher interpretation during thematic analysis introduced potential bias.

• More structured and neutral survey questions could have improved data quality and objectivity.

Cohort:

Six individuals contributed to my study, and all participants identified as female. Of the six, three respondents were DV survivors, and three were professionals.  

To clarify where each respondent found the research opportunity: No participant was solicited by an online post, three respondents were contacted by the researcher, two participants were informed about the survey from a friend, and the last participant was intrigued by a physical copy of a poster. 

The first set of results, thematically analyzed by the researcher, was from professional observations. When asked about common challenges in identifying abusers early in relationships, participants shared abusers typically groom their partners, have a savior/hero complex, like to mask themselves to blend in and hide, and control over their partners/relationships moves from small things like where to eat to big things such as what to wear and who to stop speaking too. When professionals were asked about general behavioral patterns they noticed, they reported abusers having a lack of emotional intelligence, a need to be superior, an inability to emotionally regulate, a lack of empathy for others, forms of deflecting, a craving for control, and constantly switching personalities. 

Any participant was welcome to answer questions regarding the influence of external factors on abusive behavior. All participants were asked to answer the questions regarding external factors impacting abuse. When respondents were asked about life events that coincide with abusive behavior, it was found that any event that can cause stress/fear, unbalance, and a less than ideal environment can increase the risk of abuse. In addition, any event where religious norms/pressures, as well as familial expectations/pressures, come into play can coincide with abusive behavior. When asked about patterns in family backgrounds, participants all agreed that there are definite patterns and that becoming abusive is a learned behavior. Participants also reported how abusers typically have absent parents, experience with abuse during childhood, problematic relationships with family, no positive role models, and have witnessed a family or friend who has abused their partner. A common phrase said was “Abusers make abusers.”

Like the previous section, all participants were welcome to answer the questions regarding relationship dynamics. When asked about how their abusive relationships were like in public versus private settings, data showed that abusers try to win others over and keep a surface-level relationship, work hard to appear normal, and guide their partner's conversations. It was also noted that the abusers' place in society played a crucial role. Participants also reported how any public mishap would get taken out on them once they are in a private setting. When asked about remorse, 66.7% of the respondents said abusers show remorse. The participants who answered yes to this question went on to state how abusers do this as a way to control their partner, and only show it when caught.

One of the most crucial parts of the researchers' study was the perspectives of a survivor. When asked if there were forms of manipulation they experienced, the five out of six respondents all answered yes. These participants elaborated by reporting abusers would put themselves down to gain sympathy, be dismissive of events and/or emotions, be passive-aggressive, exploit their partners, and claim they are the victim. Domestic abusers used sex, finances, friends and family, and isolation as a manipulation tactic as well. When asked what role insecurity plays within a DV relationship, they shared how abusers crave control at any moment they feel insecure, which often leads to physical abuse. It was also shared how domestic abusers know how to break down their partner, often trying to make them fully dependent on the abuser. In addition, when abusers feel insecure, they tend to show it through anger, fear, and shame, as well as projecting it onto others. Their insecurity makes them unaccountable and often turns to power, too. 

When asked what were the most difficult behaviors and red flags to spot at first, participants talked about financial control and binding, lack of emotional regulation, abusers being very attentive at loving at first which deteriorates over time, how abusers hide within specific demographics, forms of isolation being perceived as protection, and how their abusers would praise them to gain control. When asked about/in-significance or traits, it was agreed that abusers like to have power in social groups, typically use the phrase “nobody loves me,” pick apart family and friends of their partners, use forceful tones and words, are overprotective, and use demeaning words. Survivors also shared that abusers make you think you are in the wrong, and are deserving of the abuse, and their energy was spent more on keeping their abuser happy than meeting their own needs.

The initial hypothesis I proposed was that domestic abusers in Washington State do exhibit common and identifiable traits/characteristics that, if recognized early, could potentially prevent abuse from escalating. Although the non-representative cohort restricted the generalization of data, the results from the researchers' thematic analysis are supportive, leaving the hypothesis neither confirmed nor refuted. Patterns such as grooming, outbursts stemming from insecurity, calculated manipulation, and the duality of the abusive personality appeared frequently. These findings suggest that early detection may be possible, guiding future research with a larger and more diverse population.

This research uncovered patterns that are too consistent to ignore. Survivors and professionals shared strikingly similar observations about the behaviors of domestic abusers - things like isolation, manipulation, controlling language, and emotional dependency that often creep in slowly and silently. These aren’t always recognized as abuse right away, which is what makes them so dangerous. The study’s biggest implication is that if more people knew what to look for, fewer would end up trapped in harmful relationships. Recognizing these red flags early can change everything - from how someone views their partner to how quickly they reach out for help. Reflecting on the conversations gathered in this research, it became clear how much pain could have been avoided if the right knowledge had been available sooner. So many survivors said they didn’t realize what they were experiencing until it had already taken a toll on their mental, emotional, and sometimes physical safety. That reality is heartbreaking and motivating. It shows that abuse doesn’t always look like what people expect, and that education around these early signs is not just helpful, but essential. The discussion around domestic abuse needs to move beyond physical violence. This research emphasizes that the psychological and emotional groundwork often comes first, laying the foundation for more visible forms of abuse later on. What these findings show is that there are patterns - predictable, repeated behaviors - that could be used to warn others before it's too late. When people have the language to name what they’re experiencing, it gives them the power to take action. And sometimes, that power is the difference between staying silent and speaking up, between staying stuck and getting out. That’s what this research is really about - helping people see the signs, trust what they see, and know they’re not alone. 

The purpose of this research was to explore patterns commonly observed in DV  relationships within Washington State through the perspectives of those who have had first-hand experiences with abusers. Using a mixed-methods survey approach, the researcher was able to find a set of common behaviors, traits, and characteristics of an abuser in Washington State. Although the sample size made the findings insufficient, they demonstrate a clear potential for the identification of consistent trends that could inform educational, preventative, and intervention strategies. 

If further research were to be done, and/or the researcher were to do this study again, a diverse and plentiful sample would be the top priority, providing sufficient information on all domestic violence relationship types over various cultural and ethnic backgrounds.  A different method would also be implemented: one with more structure that was able to produce findings that did not need much interpretation. Instead of focusing on Washington State or the general population of each country, what would a domestic abuser look like in each U.S. state? Further studies could be done on each state and then compiled into a published document that the public could access to be aware of risk factors specific to DV in their area. Lastly, a study that can take place over several months to even years could most likely produce more effective and relevant results. These directions should be considered if the issue of domestic violence is to be resolved. 

Domestic violence is not always loud. Sometimes it exists in whispered criticisms, carefully disguised concern, or emotional isolation disguised as love. As this study has shown, abusers often operate under layers of personality that deflect suspicion, allowing their behaviors to thrive unnoticed. This research began with a personal question: Why wasn’t the abuse the researcher witnessed prevented? While this study does not provide a definitive answer, it does take a step toward understanding the “why” by illuminating the “how.” Recognizing abuser traits early, through the eyes of both those who endure and those who intervene, holds promise for a safer future. By listening more carefully to these early signs and promoting awareness, and remembering that love shouldn’t hurt, a world where fewer people have to confront the realities of DV can be worked towards. 

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