May I Kiss You?

Investigating the Correlation Between a Consensual First Kiss and Relationship Longevity

Meet the Researcher

MacKenzie Melville

AP Scholar & Capstone Candidate, High School Senior c/o 2024

Email: kenzielu2006@gmail.com

Problem Statement

Since the beginning of humanity, people have formed relationships. They are an integral part of human nature. But not all relationships are successful. In recent years, interpersonal relations, especially romantic relationships, have become increasingly complicated-- including the topic of "the kiss". From fairy tales to holiday traditions, the kiss holds an important place in the heart of humanity. With numerous physiological and psychological benefits, kissing has been ingrained into our society. With the rise of activist movements such as #MeToo, there has been an increased focus on consent in all aspects of romantic relationships, including the kiss. This intense activism has undoubtedly been good as it raises awareness for victims of sexual assault. However, it has raised the question, at what point does this activism become hyperbolic? Social arguments have erupted across platforms with many differing opinions. One of the most notable arguments is whether or not asking before the first kiss is considered “romantic”. As these debates continued to rampage, it brought forth the crucial question: what is the correlation (if any) between a consensual first kiss and relationship longevity?

Study Significance

Within recent years, there has been an increased focus on the importance of consent. Simultaneously, romantic relationships have become increasingly complicated. Through this study, I will be able to investigate the correlation between asking for consent before the first kiss and relationship longevity. By doing so, we can better understand what makes a healthy, successful relationship.

Objective

In this study, I aim to gather insight into whether or not asking for consent before the first kiss in a relationship will impact the relationship's longevity. This will be done by synthesizing data collected in a survey released on multiple mediums such as social media and personal outreach.

Hypothesis

Because asking for consent shows mutual respect, it will have a positive effect on relationship longevity I anticipate that I will see longer-lasting relationships with couples that had an established consensual first kiss.

The Portrayal of Kissing in the Media

The media has a drastic impact on societal opinion on romance. This dates back to as far as 1937 with the release of the first Disney princess movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. The climax of the scene shows the prince swooping in to kiss the unconscious princess after she is poisoned by an apple (Disney 1937). Even though there is no consent involved, this scene has been hailed as the epitome of fairy tale romance for years. Other films since then have continued to glorify non-consensual kisses while portraying them in a romantic light. However, in recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in the ideals portrayed in Hollywood movies, even in “raunchy” R-rated comedy movies. The 2019 film Good Boys displays this shift perfectly with the main character Max. When given the opportunity to kiss his crush, he first asks her for verbal consent (to which she replies yes) resulting in romantic music and all the excited feelings associated with kissing (Universal 2019). The inclusion of this line shows the shift towards a more consent-focused perception of what is considered “romantic.”

Consent

The topic of consent is often associated with sexual interactions in both societal debates and scientific studies. This has resulted in several studies having been done to investigate the importance of sexual consent to start the development of new understanding of this topic. The need for sexual consent has been necessary and modern activist movements, such as #MeToo, have risen to fight for advocacy against rape culture and sexual assault. These organizations have increased the focus on consent in relationships within society. New laws have been passed to protect people, especially women, from sexual assault. However, there are differing views and factors that affect the perceived need for verbal permission in a relationship. Theories emerged, such as the Precedence Theory, which states that being in a more established relationship results in higher expectations for regular sexual activity (Shotland & Goodstein, 1992). Following that logic, the first kiss should be more tentative with an increased need for additional precautions, such as verbally asking for clear consent. There is a lot of awareness when it comes to sexual consent, with serious consequences if these boundaries are not honored. Kissing, on the other hand, is often overlooked. It is less researched and far less common to see studies done on the relationship between asking for a consented kiss and relationship success. Thus, the need for this study emerges. Do these patterns with sexual consent translate to kissing consent?

Operational Definitions

Relationship: Between two people with mutual, established titles in an exclusive, committed relationship. At least one kiss was exchanged between the couple at some point in the relationship.

Consent: The verbal act of asking prior to the first kiss in a given relationship.

Assumptions & Biases

Participants were assigned FAB and therefore, have biological female cognitive function
Every participant is, in fact, an American woman over the age of 19 who has been in at least one relationship
Reflecting on past relationships may invoke biased feelings towards that partner

Methods

Participants

The participants in this study were American women over 19 who have been in at least one relationship. Because females are more likely to be on the receiving end of a kiss, rather than the initiator, I wanted to focus on the female perspective. This will give a better insight to what is preferred. Due to ethical guidelines surrounding minors in research studies, I was unable to include younger women in my project. This eliminates the youngest perspective on the topic. However, the age of 19 is still included in Generation Z and there are still enough participants to get a multi-generation view on the topic. My target cohort must have been in a relationship before because that is the purpose of the study. People who have never been in a relationship do not provide the necessary data to make a conclusion about this topic because they lack the experience to have a first-hand opinion.

17 volunteers were recruited to fill out a survey through advertising on media platforms, such as Instagram and Reddit, and personal outreach. Figure 1 provides further details of participants’ demographic information. For this study, it is important to recognize that 5 (29.4%) participants reported they have only been in one relationship. The first relationship usually comes at a younger age with more naivety, excitement, and uncertainty which will lead to some variation from women who have been in multiple relationships. The ages of the participants ranged from 19 to 59. The mean number of relationships per participant was 3.88 (SD = 2.62).

The Kiss Survey

The survey included five close-ended questions (e.g. multiple choice, yes/no response) for each relationship that gathered quantitative, objective information surrounding the relationship. These questions explored the basic information about current and previous relationships: (1) gender identity of the partner, (2) who initiated the first kiss, (3) how far into the relationship it was when the first kiss occurred, (4) whether or not it was consensual, and (5) how long the relationship lasted. Participants answered these questions for each relationship, past and present, they wished to report on. They started with their current relationship, if applicable. Then participants were asked to report on each past relationship they felt comfortable reflecting on. After each relationship report, I asked the question if there were more relationships they wished to share about. If they selected no, they were taken to the end of the survey. If they selected yes, they were taken to the next page and filled out the aforementioned five questions again for the new relationship. This process continued until they were finished reporting on relationships and they selected the “no” option.

Results

Consensual 1st Kiss

Non-Consensual 1st Kiss

Of the 17 respondents, a total of 34 relationships were reported. 82.4% were reported as non-consensual first kisses (n=28); 17.6% were consensual first kisses (n=6). The mean relationship length for the non-consensual first kiss sample was 8.39 years (100.63 months) with a standard deviation of 11.40 years (136.74 months). The median relationship length for non-consensual first kisses was 1.5 years (18 months). The mean relationship length for a consensual first kiss was 6.17 years (74 months) with a standard deviation of 9.06 years (108.77 months). The median for a consensual first kiss was 2.75 years (33 months). Because the relationship lengths were recorded in varying ranges, the statistics were calculated by converting the minimum and maximum values of each interval to the same unit of measurement (months). These values were averaged out by taking the minimum and maximum values from the intervals and dividing it by two (e.g. [3-5 years]/2 = [36 months + 60 months]/2 = 48 months).

Analysis & Implications

In this study, we investigated potential correlations between a consensual first kiss and the length of a relationship in American women over the age of 19. Although some potential trends were emerging in the collected sample, the sample was not large enough to get conclusive results or find a strong correlation between the two variables. According to many statisticians, a correlation “r” value should be > 0.5 to be considered a strong, significant correlation. Neither the consensual or non consensual exceeded this value (CO: r = -0.099; NC: r = 0.028). Therefore, within this sample, there is not a significant correlation between the circumstances of the first kiss and relationship length.

However, this lack of correlation does not mean that nothing was learned from this study. Several notable trends support previous views in the field and develop a new understanding. All relationships that had a consensual first kiss, within this sample, lasted at least one year. This minimum value greatly exceeds that of the non-consensual first kiss sample (min < 1 month). So while non-consensual first-kiss relationships had a larger mean length (M = 8.39 years), the large variation and standard deviation show little evidence of a reliable pattern. Whereas the consensual data had less variation and had only relationships longer than a year. If more data had been collected on consensual first kisses, we could investigate the potential continuation of this pattern. Another key observation is the median values. Because there was such a wide range of values, the mean is not necessarily the best estimator. The skew of the data affects the mean and may prove some inaccurate estimations when there are outliers. The median is another estimator that supports a different conclusion than the mean values. With these means, the non-consensual kiss relationships appeared to last longer. However, with the median values, the consensual kiss relationships lasted longer by almost twice as much (CO: 2.75 years; NC: 1.5 years).

The most concrete conclusion that can be seen in this data is the frequency of consensual vs non-consensual kisses. As seen with similar studies, such as the Palermo exploration on the perspective of university students with sexual consent, there is a pattern that consent is not always regarded as necessary in certain circumstances. There were over four times as many non-consensual first kiss experiences as consensual ones in this observational study. While the lack of treatment assignment limits the ability to determine causation, it does allow me to note the patterns of what people usually experience, without the interference of a researcher. The most notable of these patterns is the commonality of nonconsensual first kiss experiences. Thus, while the correlation is inconclusive and unapparent within this sample and the original hypothesis is refuted, this project supports the understanding that at the current moment in time, a consensual first kiss does not dictate the relationship length in modern society. Relationships can be successful with or without a consensual first kiss as there were long relationships from both the consensual and non-consensual samples.

Conclusion

In this study, I investigated potential correlation between relationship longevity and a consensual or non-consensual first kiss through a quantitative, correlational, non-experimental survey method process. While the sample size did not show any strong correlation between the two variables, a new understanding was still able to develop. The data showed that it is more common for a first kiss to be non-consensual and despite activist movements such as #MeToo, verbally asking for consent has not been yet implemented into the everyday lives of US citizens. However as we see media forms such as movies start to advertise and support consensual kissing as seen in the 2019 film Good Boys, we may begin to see these patterns change in rising generations and these societal shifts continue to persist.

---------------------------------------------------------KEY SOURCES---------------------------------------------------------

Brizendine, L. (2007). The female brain. Harmony.

Kirshenbaum, S. (2011). The science of kissing: What our lips are telling us. Grand Central Publishing.

Palermo, A. M., Harkins, L., & Campbell, A. (2022). Do I Really Need to Ask for a Kiss? University Students' Perspectives and Expressions of Sexual Consent. Sexuality and Culture, 26(1), 249+. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12119-021-09889-8

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