Laws

1. The most immutable law of Tecmo Bowl is... LT Gets His Picks. Yeah pretty anti-climatic. But it's damn true. There is no way to avoid it. The longer a game goes the chances of LT getting an INT increase massively. The God of Tecmo is just too damn fast, and too amazing to not get his picks. When a game gets to the 4th quater and it's tied up or the Giants are one score back (the maximum number of scores it is humanly possible the Giants to be back by) LT will simply will the quaterback into throwing a dumb pass, fly across field for the pick and single-handedly give the Giants the victory. It always happens. The lesson, as always, LT gets his picks.

2. Your Play Will Be Called on 4th Down. You hear that? The defense will call your play on 4th down when you risk going for it on 4th down. The more key the situation, the higher the percentage of a play-call. The lesson to learn from this is punt the ball. Field position is just too important to give up, and a punt is 60 or so yards of field.

3. John Elway Will Find a Way. When crunch time arrives you better pray to LT you have John Elway on your side. No quarterback in NFL or Tecmo history is more clutch at orchastrating a game winning drive as time dwindles down. Watch as your defense is picked apart systematically by Elway as time is winding down after having contained Denver through 5:00 minutes (games last 6:00), and watch as Elway celebrates another come from behind victory as the losing team is left emotionally and mentally scared. John Elway.

4. Not Taking Your Damn Points Will Come Back to Haunt You. For the love of god, just take your damn points. Do not go for the glory of a TD or try to force anything in there. Once you get inside the 40 just say to yourself "ok, now come away with some points." Going for the TD and not getting it, especially early in a game, will always lead to a 3 point loss. The lesson here? Take Your Damn Points. Take them, or you'll pay for it later. Of course this law is regularly broken by all players no matter how many times you say I'll just take my damn points. Anyways, Take Your Damn Points.

5. You Will Lose the Coin Toss When Facing a Great KR. Standard issue stuff. Do not go to overtime with Chicago (Gentry), Cleveland (McNeil) or LA (Brown) because they are winning the toss and their KR is doing some serious damage. There is nothing you can do to avoid this, except not go to OT with these teams.

6. Dan Marino Will Make a Dumb Mistake. Just a matter of time. Dan the Man has all the talent in the world. But he ain't too bright. He'll either get over-confident in his cannon arm and throw a pass too close to a defender, or he'll get caught up in the pressure to get a TD every time Miami touches the ball since their defense is so terrible. It's for all these reasons, and more, that Dan Marino will never win the big one. It is really hard to fault the guy since he absolutely carries Miami on his back, but come on Dan, just once. Once.

7. The New York Giants Get Their Points. And it's usually 6-7 of them. This one kind of ties in with #1, since LT usually makes it happen, you know with him being God and all. Anyways the standard NYG game plan is "get a FG early and let LT do the rest." An amazing game plan that would never fail but it is hard to execute. The way things end up happing is after half-time it's 0-0, the oppositions' hopes are high, then in the middle-to-late 3rd quater the Gaints will start with the ball on their 30-35 (good field position thanks Landeta and LT) and proceed to march down field. Phil Simms will orchastrate a non-spectatular but highly efficent, 30-40 yard drive for the massively huge FG. Once the Simms and the boys get their points on the board they take the rest of the day off and LT take care of things. It always happens. And even when it looks like it's not going to and the Giants are in danger of a loss, Simms will gather the troops and go marching. Usually on a steady diet of Pass 2 and Run 1.

8. Punts Always Land An Inch in the Endzone. Never fails. Punts always hang up for that extra split second to force the receiver's back foot into the endzone for the touchback. So instead of a back-breaking inside the 15 for the offense, it's standard 20 yard line, and no damage done. Stupid touchbacks.

9. New York Giants Win Championships. What did you think? They would lose championships? There is no stopping the Giants, they are the Giants. LT just doesn't accept losing championships.

10. If You Want a Man Covered, Cover Him. Don't try to sucker a throw by goofing around back in coverage and then cry about not being on the guy when the throw comes. If you want a man covered you follow him all the way, otherwise getting burned is your own fault.