Breakfast on the Steel Hummingbird is a group activity. Everyone was at the mess table with the exception of their engineer, an unusual occurrence. As a rule she was the first at the table each morning, eagerly awaiting Bishop's cooking with her hammer-shaped spoon and sickle-shaped knife, the point of which doubled as a single-pronged fork -- extra tines are waste of valuable production capacity, after all.
The stomping up the stairs from the engineering deck was followed by Volkova bursting through the door and dropping several packages clumsily wrapped in blueprint paper onto the galley table and sending the tableware skyward. Malcolm's attempt to save his tea from splashing out of cup and on to himself failed, leading to much grumbling on his part.
"Happy XMaS!" she bellowed to her crew. "Is tradition on factory moons of Walküren. Word stands for 'exchange of materials and services' and is time when comrades and fellow shift workers trade items to show hopefully reciprocal good feelings and to forwardly bribe others in case one's arm is trapped in drill press and extraction in one piece is wished for." She beamed in the expectation of surprise on the faces of her compatriots but the surprise was hers as the others grinned slyly and presented their own gifts from under the table. "How did you know?"
Malcolm gave her a tired look while pushing the packages into piles in front of everyone. "You're as subtle as Olivia's cannon, Volkova. You've been giggling about it since we left Daebak. Loudly."
If she was disappointed she didn't show it. "So we can open gifts now, then?" At the slightest bow of Jillian's head Volkova lunged for her pile and tore the wrapping off of the first one: from Bishop to her...
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As is typical on Walküren Volkova made a list of the gifts. This was part of the tradition not just in terms of keeping track of whether or not the gifts given were worth the favours later requested but also to allow the corporation to tax the gifts appropriately. The manifest reads as follows:
Ngwenya, N. to Grey, J.: Pen with slug that eats from eraser end and excretes permanently-staining sepia-toned liquid from other tip when barrel is slightly squeezed. Slug had to be replaced when Volkova, V. forgot that Bishop's "slightly" is somewhat less than insect's lightest squeeze. Volkova, V. also later painted mess wall to hide large sepia-toned stain. Stain mostly invisible on on Grey, J.'s black clothing; stain on Grey, J. will have to wait until skin's natural cellular replacement takes place. "Free tan" comment not immediately appreciated.
Ngwenya, N. to Devereaux, M.: Slimy cultures that Ngwenya, N. claims will produce new teas from fermentation on leaves in Devereaux, M.'s stock. Devereaux, M. is unconvinced of claims of quantitative tea taste improvement and insists that Ngwenya, N.'s mental facilities are diminished. May be annoyed by spillage of tea at beginning of joyful gift-sharing process.
Ngwenya, N. (aka "Bishop") to Volkova, V.: Book of interpretation of Dreams that Ngwenya, N. purchased in uLundi. Book seems to not take dilation due to high-speed Dream travel into account and must be considered at best a Newtonian approximation of Dreams. Will interpret with inherent inaccuracies in mind. Note that DIVA, below, takes such dilation into account.
Grey, J. to Ngwenya, N.: Homemade painting of Grey, J.'s interpretation of the Dreamscape. Nightmarish. Did not know Dreamscape was so pointy or had so many sad mouths.
Grey, J. to Devereaux, M.: Homemade tea mug: has managed to make mug like Klein bottle: no way to actually put tea into it. "Oh, I didn't think about that" claims Grey, J. This is unlikely but may be possible.
Grey, J. to Volkova, V.: Homemade Knuta made entirely out of varnished and glued-together food items that Grey, J. has been picking up as Steel Hummingbird has travelled cluster. So-called tool is unsuitable for heavy labour or eating: must therefore be classified as art.
Devereaux, M. to Ngwenya, N.: Claims to have gift in mind but will deal with it later.
Devereaux, M. to Grey, J.: Hangover-reducing tea mix to deal with Grey, J.'s fragile psyche and resulting strain on Grey, J.'s equally-fragile physique. Not as good as usual mixture but she can take it with her everywhere she goes. Exception: dry tea cannot be taken to post-death reality.
Devereaux, M.to Volkova, V.: Many pieces of vehicles that Devereaux, M. has found and has been keeping in minibus in Steel Hummingbird's hold. May have obtained some pieces from Bow, Olivia judging from scorch marks and scarring consistent with nearby explosion. Devereaux, M. claims that pieces can be assembled into perfectly-good vehicle of some sorts. Volkova, V. is up to challenge and indeed has noticed pieces and already assembled them.
Volkova, V. to Ngwenya, N.: Dream Interpreter, Version A (DIVA). With newfound Dreaming ability has come inspiration to bring scientific rigour to what has been squishy-brained timewasting exercise. Tickertape produces interpretation in base-8 code, as there are eight dimensions to Dreaming based on number of letters in word "Dreaming". With 200 metres of tickertape, 16 electrodes that need only one centimetre penetration into skull, and weighing 12kg this must be considered portable version.
Volkova, V. to Grey, J.: Expanding sphere of metal rods with harness. Intended to keep Grey, J. safe when in inebriated state or lurching about in pirate-induced despair. Excessive ethanol on breath or tear production is detected and sphere expands automatically as long as gasoline supply holds out.
Volkova, V. to Devereaux, M.: Vehicle assembled from pieces of machinery that Devereaux, M. has been hiding in minibus. Vehicle runs but challenge of limiting construction to parts provided has led to vehicle being extremely inefficient and motion-sickness inducing even for Volkova, V. Volkova, V. also painted cargo-hold floor stain after ride.
Grey, J. to Ghost [feline member not officially one of crew. Assumed purpose is to increase crew morale]: A mouse-shaped toy made of authentic mouse fur. Is mouse but not mouse. This may be philosophy and so outside of purview for Volkova, V. to properly interpret. May be art.