People's Report on Working Conditions Aboard Steel Hummingbird 07-08-217

Labrys City surprisingly not dodgy. Starting to suspect association between boys and trouble not wholly inaccurate. Also: Plants! This is first proof that food can start as plants, not just as vat contents. Fresh supplies include roots of unknown type, supposedly tasty. Must investigate further.

Captain not noticing most of this, preferring to look at sensors. Most things involving Captain and sensors go poorly, so V. is at distance, just in case. (Some suspicion that this will not help.) Memo: Buy more drink.

Labrys military type Malach asking crew to search for missing explorers. Payment: Free fuel. Seems like good deal! Not sure why Bishop is so unhappy. Perhaps because lesbians do not need male? Silly boy! Free fuel superior to free sex. Space sex overrated. Still have chipped bone in shin, although this might have to do with tool belt.

With suspiciously named Jody Joy now on board, heading out for explorers. Also helping Bishop fabricate stew. Smelling very good, nothing like Food, Sustenance Ration, Mk. 1 (Serves 1). Unfortunately, source of missing explorers proves to involve missiles and also fast fighter craft. Stew endangered!

V. engaging pirate scum with guns, to minimal effect. Must buy guided missiles, or at least proximity-fused shells. Unguided weapon most unsatisfactory for shooting, though adequate for venting rage. Damage from fighters moderate, including new sensor array. Confirmed: Xao sold us junk, and may be linked to pirates.

Due to damage, Malcolm putting ship down small crack in rocks. Burning excess solvents to create smoke, fire. Hoping that light show and disappearance down crack will disguise fate of Steel Hummingbird.

Ow, nose. Again. Makes 23rd broken nose since calendar photo. Hope beauty is still intact.

Once again, V. fixing engines with Khnuta. Terrible fumes involved. Smoking full pack required to cleanse lungs. Once again, Captain and Bishop concerned about V., this time due to nose bleeding and also black-sludge cough. Very nice to have people caring. Quite different from 40-hour shifts back home.

Heading back to Labrys City in "stealth mode." Not real stealth (too costly), just less noise from Malcolm's music, and no excess electronics turned on. Good landing for no landing gear. Malcolm proving his skills of a pilot once again. Will buy him drinks for not killing whole crew and also ship.

Time for hospital, now. Maybe get cute nurse, make Bishop jealous. Haha.

Валентина Волкова