Birthday of Jacques Snicket, as well as that of his sister. (January 12)
Jacques Snicket "taken" and initiated into V.F.D. (February 26)
Jacques Snicket, given his first assignment, disguises himself accordingly. (March 18)
Alleged date the alleged Baudelaire mansion allegedly burned down. (March 31)
Jacques Snicket's disguise discovered. Alternate disguise employed. (April 17)
Nine cows arrested by the authorities under the suspicion of involvement with V.F.D. Jacques Snicket, disguised as the tenth cow, escapes on a stolen tractor. (May 13)
Jacques Snicket arrives in Paltryville to continue the Baudelaire investigation. (June 26)
Jacques Snicket reports his findings to The Daily Punctilio. (July 6)
The Daily Punctilio does not publish Jacques Snicket's report. (July 7)
V.F.D. declares Jacques Snicket "either missing or on vacation." (August 9)
Summer is a good time to take a vacation, but it is always best to tell someone where you are going. (August 10)
Summer is dead and Jacques Snicket does not return. V.F.D. changes his status to "missing." (September 23)
The remaining Snicket siblings open their investigation into Jacques Snicket's disappearance. (October 10)
Jacques Snicket reported murdered. (November 7)
Jacques Snicket reported ill. (December 2)
Director and screenwriter Gustav Sebald reported missing. (January 4)
Gustav Sebald found murdered. Police seek goblins, vampires, realtors, ants, and zombies for questioning. (January 10)
Questioning of ants abandoned due to translation problems. (January 11)
V.F.D. declares remaining Snicket siblings "either missing or on vacation." (January 27)
Very few vacations are scheduled in January. (January 28)