NOTHING BUT LIES IX:
UNIVERSAL DISCOVERY
THE PREAMBLE TO THE 10TH
By JOSEPH D'ANDREA
and STEPHEN RINI
DEDICATED TO
MUSTACHE ROBERT
Introduction:
Death and destruction. Earth is gone. The kaderaths are in the far reaches of space with nothing left to do...maybe. The true heroes have been shot into space and superman is just flying there for now and also...THE EARTH EXPLODED!!! So yeah. The resistance has been destroyed and everyone basically died. Oh and also did I mention...THE EARTH EXPLODED!!!!!!! Whut Frull is sitting on his throne in kaderathia plotting something new. Also did I say that the Earth exploded already because...THE EARTH…..EXPLODED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1:
We forgot something
(Superman dies)
Chapter 2:
Is this a dream?
Philip: Ben. Something’s wrong with Darwin.
Ben: dude he’s totally fine.
Philip: no he’s evil! He's trying to fail me!
Ben: come on dude what kind of evil mastermind would do that?
Philip: I'm telling you man there's just something wrong with him.
__________________
Later
____________
Darwin: okay class...I'm handing essays back. First it's...oh...Philip.
Philip: oh shoot.
Darwin: take it back Philip.
Philip: what?! An F?!?!
Darwin: yes.
Philip: hey it was a decent essay! I aimed for at least a C!
Darwin: well that's more than usual but still!
Philip: but still what?!
Darwin: you didn't meet the requirements!!!!!
Philip: you know what?
Darwin: what?!
Philip: keep talkin’ Darwin!
Darwin: what did you just say to me?
Philip: I said keep talkin’ Darwin!
Darwin: That's it! Philip go to the dean’s office now!!!
Philip: no.
Darwin: Wha?!?!?!
Philip: I won't go!!!
Darwin: you will go! And you will enjoy it!!!
Philip: no I won't.
Darwin: yes you will!!!!!!
Philip: fine I'll go…..but I won't enjoy it
Darwin: good!
Philip: Fine!!!
Darwin: that's just great then!
Philip: yeah I know!
Darwin: just amazing!
Philip: yeah!!!
Darwin: NOW GO!!!
Philip: okay...God
(Philip leaves)
_________________
Later
___________
Josephine galleni: okay...what did you do this time?
Philip: talked back to the teacher…
Galleni: okay.
Philip: so what now?
Galleni: you sit here unless someone bails you out. And I sit here...alone.
Philip: okay...damn why can't someone bail me out?!
(Shadowy figure enters)
Voice: Philip Malloy!
Philip: wha?!
Voice: I am a friend. I'm here to help you.
Philip: to bail me out?
Voice: yes.
Philip: okay.
Voice: come with me.
Galleni: Hey! You can't just leave!
Voice: I am picking him up.
Galleni: for what?
Voice: ummmm there's a kaderath in invasion coming.
Galleni: oh okay that's- wait!
(Random person and Philip leave)
Galleni: oh shoot...I'm terrible at my job.
Voice: okay Philip we have to go!
Philip: wha?!
Voice: I'm from the resistance!
Philip: wwhhaaaaaa?!?!
Voice: the resistance! It's in the future against Marcus Darwin!
Philip: I knew it!
VOICE: YES! And now the Darwin you see before you is actually Darwin from the future! He's come to kill you!!!
Philip: what the heck!!!
Voice: yes. You need to come with me! We have to get to the time machine?
Philip: what about my parents?
Voice: we’ll see them in the future soon.
Philip: whaaaa?! Okay. Wait...who are you?
Voice: I am Betty. A former English teacher turned resistance fighter.
Philip: Okay.
Betty: come with me.
Philip: Im confused. Wont this change some major thing in the future!?
Betty: maybe. I guess we’ll see.
Philip: okay.
Betty: To the time machine!!!
(Betty and Philip enter random time machine)
Chapter 3:
Future!!!
(Philip wakes up)
Philip: Wha!?
Betty: RUN!!!!! NOW!!!!!
Philip: Wha!?
Betty: Theyre coming!
Philip: Who!?
Betty: The craig bots.
Philip: Who!?
Betty: Hard to explain now! Just get down!!!
(Betty takes out machine gun)
Betty: watch out!
(Betty shoots Craig Bot)
Betty: we need to get to Mr. w and the others!
Philip: who?
Betty: Mr. w! The musical science teacher?
Philip: oh...yeah?
Betty: yeah.
(Betty shoots Craig bot in the head)
Philip: what the heck?!
Betty: who's that?!
Betty: oh good. The resistance came to us.
Batman: hey.
Philip: batman?!
Batman: I am batman.
Philip: so you're really Bruce Wayne?
Batman: what? No. I'm dick Grayson.
Philip: Robin?!
Batman: no...I'm batman…and like. Dick Grayson.
(Flash runs in)
Flash: hey. How's it goin?
Betty: Wally!
Philip: Wally?!
Flash: Wally.
Philip: kid flash?
Flash: no….Flash.
Philip: okay. Guess the comics here are different.
Betty: yeah. The future is terrible.
Philip: is Bruce Wayne dead?
Batman: who?
Flash: you know. The billionaire guy?
Batman: oh yeah. Never met him.
Philip: heh. Weird. I felt like he was….batman.
Betty: what's wrong?
(Philip falls on the floor and starts spazzing out)
Flash: what's wrong with him?!
Batman: he's having a seizure! Something's wrong!!!
(Shadowy figure runs in)
Mr. w: hello.
Flash: hey Mr. w.
Mr. W: oh shoot! We’re gonna be overrun very soon! Is deathstroke’s team almost to the castle?
Batman: I've lost contact with him!
Betty: oh shoot! We need to get contact with one of the team members.
Mr. W: that will be nearly impossible.
Philip: why?
Mr W: because I've already tried it! Robin’s communicator is down!
Betty: shoot.
Batman: those idiots!!!
Flash: yeah!
Boom!
Philip: I think we should go!
Mr. W: good idea.
(Everyone runs)
Betty: they're catching up!!!
Flash: get down!
Batman: cyborg isn't responding and Green Lantern was injured. Sifo Dias is tending to him now.
Mr. W: wait. How do you know that?!
Batman: he's right over there.
Green Lantern: ugh! Go on…
Betty: where's Sifo Dias?!
Flash: look! He's fighting Craig Bots!!!
Flash: we should help GL!!!
Mr. W: we're so screwed! Look!!!
Philip: oh God. How many Craig boys does he have?!
Batman: his childhood dream was to become a scientist. His dreams were squashed and he was stuck with a teaching job in a second rate school.
Philip: how do you know all this?!
Batman: I'm batman.
Betty: oh shoot! They're closing in!
Flash: GL! Create a Barrier or something!!!
Green Lantern: I can tr-
(Green lantern dies)
Flash: NOOOOOOO!!!!
Batman: they killed guy!
Philip: guy?
Mr. W: guy Gardener. The green lantern?!
Flash: man. I thought you were gonna educate this kid Betty!
Betty: I didn't have time!!!
Philip: war has seriously escalated here.
Mr. W: yes it has.
Flash: oh God! We need to-
Batman: look! What's that?!
Betty: what the heck is that?!
Philip: looks like...a ship?
Betty: follow it!
Flash: RUN!
(Everyone runs towards the crash)
Batman: here they are.
Craig bot: prepare to die!!!
Philip: no! You prepare to die.
Craig bot: no!
Philip: yes!
Craig bot: no!
Philip: yes!
Craig Bot: no!
Philip: No!
Craig Bot: yes-! I mean. God damn it!!!
Batman: ha!
(Batman throws batarang through Craig bot’s head)
Flash: checkmate.
Betty: this isn't chess.
Batman: I need to get in contact with Qui-Gon!
Mr. W: his communicator is dead And it seems that him and his team are too.
Flash: we're losing men too fast!!!
Betty: we need better strategy!
Philip: we could throw rocks at them?
(Figures emerge from the crashed ship)
Voice: wha?
Philip: OHHHH MY GOD!!!
Chapter 4:
The old newcomers
Philip: you're Han Solo!
Han: and you're Philip Malloy! But you died?
Philip: what?
Han: yeah. You died. How the heck are you here?
Betty: why wouldn't he be here?
Han: because he's dead!
Chewbacca: RRRAAAUUGGHHH!!!
Tenn: what the heck is happening?!
Mr. W: what do you mean? We’re at war with Darwin!
Kay: Charles Darwin?!
Flash: who the heck is Charles Darwin?
Geddy Lee: then who the heck is this Darwin?
Batman: Marcus Darwin obviously!
Neil Peart: batman? Is that you?! Which version are you?
Batman: what?! I'm just batman!
Alex Lifeson: this is all very confusing.
Mr. W: why don't we sit down and discuss it over some tea?
Betty: we don't have time for tea!!!
Philips the Craig bot's are coming!!!
_______________________
Meanwhile
________________
Lex Luthor: the red capes are coming! The red capes are coming!
Darwin: what's the heck are you talking about?!
Lex Luthor: I'm proposing a deal! Booster Gold is a menace to our society! He is in my opinion the alternate superman.
Darwin: who is superman?
Lex Luthor: all in good time my friend. I present to you...the multiverse theory!!!
Darwin: Galleni!
Galleni: yes sir!
Darwin: cancel my 4 o clock this looks important.
Galleni: yes sir.
Darwin: tell me more Mr. Luthor.
Lex Luthor: so. This theory consists of some different ideas. One being that there are multiple universes showing how different things played out if time had been altered!
Darwin: and what the heck does that mean?
Lex Luthor: it means this is the beginning of something new. Or a new heck waiting to be born.
Darwin: I look forward to hearing about this idea of yours.
Lex Luthor: and I intend to share it with you Darwin. I intend to let you know the secret.
Chapter 5:
Attack on darwin’s castle
Deathstroke: get me on communicator line 3!
Robin: I can't!!! We're being shut out by the communications jamming tower!
Deathstroke: shoot it down!
Robin: where’s the team?!
Deathstroke: no! They're all dead!
(Deathstroke sees dead team behind them)
Robin: what do we do?!
Deathstroke: what we came here to do!!! Set the bombs!!!
Voice: aren't you forgetting me?!
Deathstroke: and who are you?
Voice: Maul.
(Maul charges at Deathstroke)
Deathstroke: Ha!
(deathstroke jumps over Maul)
Robin: what do we do?!
Deathstroke: watch.
(Maul takes out lightsaber)
Deathstroke: oh shit.
Maul: prepare to die!
(hand goes through Maul’s stomach)
Maul: ugh….
(Maul dies)
Robin: Booster Gold! It's you!!! Where’s your team?
Booster Gold: they found another way to get in. Come on! We have to go!!!
Boom!
Deathstroke: the enemy is just through those gates!
(1000 Craig bots appear)
Robin: aw crap!
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Anakin: how do we get in?!
Obi-wan: we’re close!!! Keep cutting that door!!!
Anakin: alright! Where's manhunter?!
Obi-wan: he’ll be here!!!
(Martian manhunter enters)
Martian Manhunter: yes. I am here. Now how do we get inside?
Anakin: we've been trying!
Martian Manhunter: I've got this.
(martian manhunter shoots down the door with laser vision)
Anakin: cool.
Martian manhunter: actually my laser vision is very hot. It will kill you if you touch it.
Anakin: oh.
Obi-wan: let’s go!
______________
Later
________
Martian Manhunter: The craig bots will be here soon!
Anakin: Let’s do this!!!
(Anakin runs around screamin)
Anakin: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Obi-wan: Anakin! Shut the heck up!!!
Martian Manhunter: I recommend that we kill aLL THE CRAIG BOTS.
ANAKIN: gOOD IDEA.
Obi-wan: What was that!?
(awkward pause)
(10000 Craig bots fall through the ceiling)
Martian manhunter: shoot.
Obi-wan: We need to take evasive action!
(Evasive action)
Martian Manhunter: yeah!
____________________
Meanwhile
______________
DeaTHSTROKE: gOD DAMN cRAIG BOTS!!!
Robin: What do we do!?
Booster gold: we murder them!!!
Robin: Yeah!
(Robin throws birdarang through craig bot’s head)
Robin: Screw you!!!
Booster Gold: oh shoot There’s more!
Zach: AHHHH finally free!
(Craig bots fire lasers)
(Booster Gold deflects all the lasers with Zach’s body)
Booster Gold: Man! That was close!!!
Zach: Ow.
Robin: shut up!!!
Zach: No you shut up!!!
Robin: No you-!
Zach: oh no!!! They’ve found me!!!
Lucifer: get the heck back in here!!!
Zach: Nooooooo!!!!!!
Lucifer: yes.
Zach: Never!!!
Lucifer: No.
Zach: yes!!!
Lucifer: ha!
Zach: Wha!?
(Zach is pulled back into heck)
Zach: YYYOOUUU iiiiiiidddddiiioooottttt!!!!!!!!!!!
Sad
Chapter 6:
THE SPACE SWORD
SCAVENGER HUNT
_____________
AT SVAA
_____________
(Kaderath appears)
Kay: die.
(Kaderath disappears)
Tenn: we have to go back to errtoc!
Kay: we can't!
Tenn: WHY?!!!
Kay: because.
Tenn: no. That's stupid.
Zet: hey, you should--
(Kay wakes up)
Kay: WAH happened?!
Tenn: you blacked out.
Zet (deep voice): yeah! Go rest…
Tenn: Zet? Are, are you… Oka--
(Zet turns into Kaderath)
(Kaderath eats tenn’s head)
Kay: HOLY shoot!!!
Kaderath: prepare to die!!!
Kay: NOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Kay wakes up)
Kay: wha?!
Han: you were asleep!
Kay: where's tenn?!
Han: he's right over there.
Kay: it's just that. The dream felt so real!
Han: yeah.
Geddy Lee: what's going on?
Han: nothin.
Betty: we have to move!
Philip: why?
Betty: Craig bots!!!
Batman: let's go.
Flash: I got this!!!
(Flash runs)
Batman: what great help we have.
Betty: is Aquaman ready with his attack?
Batman: I have no idea. Poseidon is still “raging the waters” and Percy Jackson is being an idiot.
Betty: oh shoot.
Philip: we should start running.
Tenn: yeah.
(Everyone runs)
Batman: Wally!!! Wait!!!
Flash: gotta run! Gotta run!!!
Batman: Wally we outran them!
Flash: oh.
Kay: Ahhhhhh!!!
(Kay trips on stone)
(7000 Craig bots appear)
Flash: I thought you said we outran them!!!
Batman: I thought we did!!!
Philip: well we didn't.
Batman: thanks captain obvious!
Captain obvious: you're welcome!
(Captain obvious flies away)
(Craig bots surround everyone)
Geddy Lee: we’ll distract them with our music!!!
Han: but you’ll die!
Alex Lifeson: we know!
Betty: everyone run!!!
Geddy Lee: one two three four!!!
There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance
A planet of play things
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
'The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are malign...'
Blame is better to give than receive
Craig bots: ahhhh it's not dub step!!!
[Chorus:]
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
There are those who think
That they were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren't born in Lotusland
All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate
[Chorus]
Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet
[Chorus]
(Craig bots vaporize band)
Han: shoot!
Tenn: keep running!
Craig bot: give us the space sword scavenger!!!
Betty: the what?!
Kay: RUN!!!
(Kay and Tenn run)
Han: what the heck?!
Craig bots: follow them!!! Destroy them!!!
Philip: wow...they left.
Batman: convenient.
Chapter 7:
The science of insanity
Lex lUthor: now I would like to talk to you about part 2 of my theory.
Darwin: tell me.
Lex LUthor: you will like it. I have discovered that we can travel between these multiple universes!!!
Darwin: how?!
Lex LUthor: the Craig bots reported to me that some of our new enemies are different.
Darwin: how so?
Lex LUthor: they seem to have a different genetic code and so I have come up with the theory that they're all from the opposite universe!!!
Darwin: what?! Prove is to me!!!
Lex LUthor: but to move on to other universes I suggest we tighten our grip on this one. I have a way to do that.
Darwin: what's your plan?
Lex LUthor: come and see.
_________________
Later
____________
Lex LUthor: here in the holding cells. We have complete Mayhem! We have the joker!
Joker: what are you looking for?!
Lex LUthor: we need you to assemble a team to bring the world down while this war goes on.
Joker: what's in it for me?
Darwin: nothing.
Joker: wow…...okay I'll do it!
Darwin: good...but Lex how do you expect him to do this?
Lex LUthor: he can destroy a world he's just never tried. Now he has full access to everything and he will succeed.
Darwin: I hope so. If this plan of yours is wrong then we've just let loose a maniac who will kill us all!
Joker: likely.
Lex LUthor: but you could also have the means of world domination. Once he knocks the world down we will build it back up again!
Joker: more likely.
Darwin: hmmmmm. I have to go speak to another prisoner.
(Darwin walks away)
Lex LUthor: so...you’ll help us?
Joker: of course. You'll have this world in no time at all!
Lex LUthor: good.
Joker: very good…
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Voice: this is Terry Terryson jr. Jr. If anyone can hear me I've been captured by Darwin! I need you to help me! Deathstroke! Betty! Batman! Anyone! If you get this message I need you to help me!
(Darwin steps on communicator)
Darwin: trying to contact your friends terry Terryson jr. Jr.?
Terry: yes.
Darwin: well it won't work!
Terry: how do you know it hasn't already?
Darwin: I don't.
Terry: okay.
Darwin: your resistance will die.
Terry: no it won't. We have a plan!
Darwin: yeah...what is it?
Terry: why would I tell you?
Darwin: I don't know! It was worth a shot!
Terry: oh...okay then.
______________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Lex LUthor: we need to send out your team.
Joker: I still need one more member.
Voice: hello. I'd like to take you up on your offer.
Joker: who are you?
Voice: I'm boba fett. I've decided to join your team.
Joker: can you shoot?
Boba Fett: what?
Joker: anything.
Boba fett: yes. I have a gun and rockets.
Joker: hmmmmmm. Alright…I guess you can come to kill everyone.
Boba Fett: so what's the plan?
Joker: I just said it.
Boba Fett: what?
Joker: you have a lot to learn. I'm insane so I get things better than you.
Lex LUthor: okay. Move out!
Joker: hold on. I need to gather the team.
Boom!
Lex LUthor: quick! You need to leave!
Joker: I'm ready. New guy! Get the liquor and the plane set up! I'm driving!!!
Chapter 8:
Point of no return
Deathstroke: we’re almost there! Robin! Keep drilling!!!
Robin: got it!
Booster Gold: so...these Craig bots. I've had the idea that their all powered by a hive mind.
Deathstroke: well if that's true then we'll find it and take it out.
Robin: yeah and if not then we've got 4,000 Craig bots coming this way!
Booster Gold: what?!
Robin: look out!!!
(Craig bots attack)
Deathstroke: we better be able to track down this idiot before he kills us all!
Robin: calm down Deathstroke!!! He's right at the top of the castle!
(Deathstroke cuts off Craig bot’s head)
Booster Gold: yeah! The 5,000 story castle?!?!
Deathstroke: actually I've done some calculations and it’s 4,999 stories tall.
Booster Gold: oh...my mistake!
(Booster gold rips off Craig bot’s head)
Robin: wow! Craig bots.
Craig Bot: surrender to Darwin!
Robin: never!!!
(Robin throws birdarang at Craig bot’s head)
Booster Gold: Robin!!! Are we in?!?!
Robin: almost!
Deathstroke: hurry it up!!!
Robin: you can't rush perfection!!!
Deathstroke: I'm not rushing perfection I'm rushing you!!!
Robin: can you stop yelling at me!?
Deathstroke: I can but you wouldn't be working as hard if I wasn't!!!
Robin: well maybe if you stopped screaming I would actually be working!!!
Deathstroke: just shut up and work!!!
Robin: I'm trying!!!
Booster Gold: so glad I signed up for this shoot.
Robin: hey shut the heck up!
Booster Gold: GOOD GOD!!! CAN YOU JUST OPEN THE GATE!!!!!
Robin: yes I can!
Craig bot: humans. So idiotic.
Robin: actually my IQ is higher than Einstein’s.
Craig Bot: shut the heck up human.
Robin: screw you!!!
(Robin destroys Craig bot)
Booster Gold: you guys suck!
Deathstroke: say that to a guy who just blew open the gate!
Booster Gold: I would be if you did blow open the gate!
Deathstroke: well suck on this!
(Gate explodes)
Booster Gold: nice. Maybe I misjudged you.
Robin: or maybe you’re a jerk.
Booster Gold: hey why don't you go shove-
Deathstroke: JUST SHUT UP!!!
Robin: LET’s JUST GO INSIDE ALREADY!!!
Booster Gold: yeah! Let's just let the Craig bots follow us in!!!
Robin: I got this!
(Robin throws electric birdarang)
Robin: that should shut them down for a while.
Booster Gold: good idea you little idiot.
Robin: shut up you idiot.
(Everyone goes into the castle)
Deathstroke: we need to complete the mission!
Robin: where's Darw-
Deathstroke: wait! I'm getting a message! It's from Terry!!!
Booster Gold: terry’s alive?!
Deathstroke: yes! He's here!!! He's in cell block 34!
Robin: oh...that's great so let's go kill Darwin.
Deathstroke: we can't! Terry has important information. He's our friend!
Robin: I'm going against your teachings this time! I need to kill Darwin!
Deathstroke: Robin! You will listen to me!!! You will not kill Darwin! He is not essential now!
Robin: not essential?! He's who started this war!!!
Deathstroke: no! We started it when we declared independence from Darwintopia!!!
Robin: we have to destroy him!
Deathstroke: the only way we would be able to stop All this death is if we go back in time and kill Darwin.
Robin: that's impossible!
Deathstroke: it's not!
Robin: I'm going to kill him!!!
Booster Gold: and what do I do?!
Deathstroke: we have to save terry!
Booster Gold: I'm gonna kill this Darwin!!!
Deathstroke: NOOOOOO!!!
(Booster Gold and Robin leave)
Deathstroke: YOU IDIOTS!!!
(Deathstroke runs to the prison)
Chapter 9:
March
Philip: are we almost there?!
Betty: just walk Philip.
Han: the castle is in our sights.
Tenn: we’re so close.
Mr. W: we have Craig bots not so far behind.
Batman: we can handle them.
Mr. W: not quite. They have an entire legion.
Betty: we’re almost there…
Han: I say we just camp here!
Philip: bug we have to keep going.
Flash: I agree with this douche. Even I'm tired.
Han: yeah...wait...hey!
Batman: but if we don't make it by morning Darwin will have his Craig bots murder us in our sleep.
Philip: but if we don't rest we won't be able to fight.
Mr. W: well shoot.
Han: Cherie can take it!
Chewbacca: RRAAAUUUGGHHH!!!!
Han: look! Up ahead!!!
Voice: come this way mi amigos!
Betty: who the heck?
Voice: I'm George Lopez!!!
Batman: kill him!
(Philip shoots Lopez in the head)
Flash: nice shot!
Han: okay so what's the plan?
Philip: we have to keep going.
Mr. W: yes. It is the logical choice.
Betty: sure.
Batman: I’M BATMAN!!!
Han: I find you do that a lot less than the other batman.
Batman: so?
Han: I don't know….it’s just weird...it’s like Mustard on a BLT.
Philip: have you ever tried mustard on a BLT?
Han: no.
Flash: he has a point...it’s good stuff.
Philip: no I was just trying to make the point that you shouldn't dis something you haven't tried. Mustard on a BLT is disgusting.
Flash: it's good though….
Han: I'm sure it is you idiot. Now let’s go!
Mr. W: so how much longer we got?
Betty: I set my watch timer for 3 hours.
Mr. W: and where are we?
Betty: we've got at least another hour.
Philip: shoot!
Craig bot: hey what's up.
Batman: oh hey Craig bot.
Craig bot: you guys want some pie?
Tenn: oh yeah.
Craig Bot: cool.
Flash: hey are you a uhhhh...Craig bot?0
Craig Bot: oh. Uhhh. Yeah.
Betty: cool.
Philip: yeah cool….cool.
Craig Bot: so should I kill you now?
Batman: whenever you want?
Han: yeah I'm cool with whenever.
Kay: so how do you plan on killing us?
Craig bot: with some lasers. Maybe a sharp blade.
Tenn: nice.
Mr. W: I'd go with the lasers.
Batman: really? I say sharp blade.
Flash: yeah I think the sharp blade would be more painful.
Craig Bot: you know. You guys are right! Thanks.
Philip: you’re welcome.
Craig Bot: yeah. So I'm gonna kill you now okay?
Mr. W: yeah.
Kay: sounds good.
(Craig bot attacks)
(Batman kills Craig bot)
Betty: so...we’re still going.
Mr. W: yeah.
Batman: annnnnnnnnnd……..we’re here.
Han: are we?
Batman: no...I just wanted to build suspense.
Philip: oh...well we are here. At the main gate…
Tenn: shoot!
Kay: how many Craig bot guards are there?!
Batman: I count 10000000000.
Flash: okay...not so-WHA?!?!
Batman: prepare for the fight of your lives.
Philip: I'm ready!!!
Mr. W: TO WAR!!!
Chapter 10:
Confronting the enemy
Booster Gold: I think we’re coming up on the chamber of Darwin!
Robin: we can do this!
Booster Gold: if he has assassins you can handle them. I'll take down Darwin.
Robin: good idea.
(Booster gold kicks down the door)
Robin: alright!!!-wha?!
Booster Gold: where is he?!
Darwin: Right here!
(Darwin hits Robin with metal pole)
Booster gold: oh shoot!!!
(Bane jumps out from behind throne)
Bane: prepare to die!!!
Booster Gold: NO!!!
Bane: YES!!!
Booster Gold: NO!!!
Darwin: HAHAHAHA!!!
(Darwin throws Robin on the floor)
Booster Gold: NOOOO!!!
Darwin: I will kill him now! Or should I have bane do it?
Booster Gold: you can have Bane get kicked in the eye!!!
(Booster Gold kicks bane in the eye)
Bane: AAUUGGHHH!!!
Darwin: I will execute you one way or another!!!
Booster Gold: and I'll throw a knife at your head!
Darwin: you don't have a knife!!!
Booster Gold: ...you're right.
(Darwin kicks booster gold in the face)
Darwin: finish him!!!
(Bane picks up booster Gold)
Booster Gold: NOOOO!!!
Darwin: HAHAHA!!!
Booster Gold: you're evil!
Darwin: of course I am…your friends won't stand a chance...Bane. Finish him!
Bane: yes sir.
(Bane breaks Booster Gold’s back)
Robin: ugh…
______________________
Meanwhile
________________
Anakin: are we here?
Martian manhunter: yes! The other entrance proved useful.
Obi-wan: are we at the throne room? We need to kill Darwin once and for all!!!
Martian manhunter: we are almost there.
Anakin: I'm gonna chop off Darwin’s face!
Obi-wan: Craig bots.
(Craig bots appear)
Anakin: ahhhhh...Craig bots. I live for this.
Martian Manhunter: I've got this.
(Martian manhunter shoots lasers at Craig bots)
(Craig bots die)
Obi-wan: nice job.
Martian manhunter: we’re not done yet!
Anakin: why not?
Martian Manhunter: look.
(Craig bots surround everyone)
Obi-wan: damn it!
Craig bot: surrender to emperor Darwin!
Anakin: NEVER!!!
(Anakin kills Craig bot)
Craig Bots: terminate threat!!!
Obi-wan: nice going.
Martian Manhunter: I will shield us with my mind!
Anakin: woah…
Craig Bot: prepare to die.
Anakin: no.
Craig bot: die.
Anakin: I'll never listen to you!
Martian Manhunter: just watch closely you idiots.
Craig bot: kill the green guy!!!
Martian Manhunter: my name is j’onn j’onzz!
Craig bot: what the heck?
(Martian Manhunter kills Craig bots with lasers)
Obi-wan: those lasers are helpful.
Martian Manhunter: yes. They would work if I ever wanted to burn all humans and take over the world.
(Awkward silence)
Anakin: but you don't want to do that right?
Martian Manhunter: of course not.
Anakin: okay...good.
Martian Manhunter: let's keep moving.
_____________________
Meanwhile
_____________
Deathstroke: I hope those guys aren't dead yet.
(Deathstroke kicks down door)
Deathstroke: TERRY!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!
Voice: Terry’s not here right now.
Deathstroke: who the heck-
Voice: I am The Reverse flash. I am here to tell you that your friend isn't here.
Deathstroke: and why are you here?
Reverse flash: because I'm one of Darwin’s “super soldiers” like you were supposed to be.
Deathstroke: I never wanted to join him!
Reverse Flash: you never wanted unlimited power?
Deathstroke: Darwin is weak. He will fall.
Reverse Flash: are you suggesting that the resistance can defeat us? Darwin has already won!
Deathstroke: not if I have anything to say about it!
Reverse flash: you won't soon!
(Reverse flash punches Deathstroke in the face)
Deathstroke: you idiot!!!
Reverse flash: your friend Terry is already dead!
Deathstroke: that's not true!
(Deathstroke slashes reverse flash)
Reverse Flash: you're fast! But not as fast as me!
(Reverse flash kicks Deathstroke in the jaw)
Deathstroke: grrrrrrrrr!!!!
Reverse Flash: hold on. I'm getting a call from Darwin. Looks like you can just take a break.
(Deathstroke runs down the hallway)
Deathstroke: TERRY!!!
Voice: ha!
(Grifter appears and shoots Deathstroke in the leg)
Deathstroke: you just made a huge mistake you idiot!
(Grifter shoots Deathstroke with machine guns)
(Deathstroke blocks bullets with his swords)
Grifter: damn you!
(Deathstroke throws sword at grifter’s shoulder)
Grifter: shoot!!!
(Sword goes through grifter’s shoulder)
Grifter: you don't know!
Deathstroke: don't know what?!
Grifter: the enemy you're looking for is not as it seems!
Deathstroke: what are you talking about!?!? TELL ME!!!
Grifter: it's the ka-
(Grifter dies)
Deathstroke: DAMN IT!!!
(Deathstroke picks up sword)
Terry: Deathstroke is that you?
Deathstroke: come on!!! Let's go!!!
Terry: wha?
Deathstroke: I'm getting you out of here!!!
Terry: the resistance…
Deathstroke: we have to go!
Terry: alright.
(Deathstroke carries Terry out of the cell)
Boom!
Terry: what was that?!
Deathstroke: I have no idea but whatever it was it was definitely bad.
Chapter 11:
Reign of Chaos
News Reporter: This is channel 6 news! Today’s top story. The joker has just destroyed the continent of Australia by unknown means! The rumor is that his next target will be Asia. We have cameramen there now to capture the event. Wait! Something’s happening!!! The joker’s giant clown balloon and a whole swarm of enemies has arrived in Asia!!! But wait! The resistance is here as well!!! We have updates of the Malloy’s leading the assault on Joker’s blimp!!! We have clips of Captain Jack Sparrow and Mega Man in on the assault! We’re now cutting to commercial break!
_______________
In Asia
__________
Joker: attention random Asians! This is the joker speaking!!! If you are listening then you're not dead! Run now if you want to keep it that way AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mega Man: you'll never have this place Joker!!!
Joker: see you in heck!!! Once I press this button it will detonate a nuclear explosion powerful enough to destroy Asia and Europe!!!
Jack Sparrow: that's impossible!!!
Joker: Want to test it?!
Murray Malloy: alright Malloy's. We've got a few options. I think we all know what we’re going with.
Carl Malloy: yeah Dad...we have to kill Joker at any cost.
Meghan Malloy: he can't be allowed to destroy 2 continents!!!
Carl: I know! We can fire bombs at him!!!
Murray: no Carl! We need to do this man to man! For Philip!
Meghan: his death must be avenged!
Carl: alright Dad. I'm with you.
Murray: good. We need colonel Steve Trevor to take his men up the left flank!
Carl: what about the army of Craig bots?
Murray: I'll handle them!
Carl: No! I've got this!
Meghan: what do we do Murray?!
Murray Malloy: we have the most important-
Craig bot: resistance members!!!
(Craig bots fire at Malloys)
Carl: get down!
(Carl Malloy takes out machine gun)
Murray: Carl! Get on the ground!
(Carl kills Craig bots with machine gun)
Murray: good shot son!
Carl: we need to attack that blimp!!!
(Japanese anime people appear)
Goku: we’ve got this!
Murray: oh shoot...we're so screwed.
Goku: come on you guys!!! Let's go take out the joker!!!
One punch man: let's go!!!
Vegeta: screw you guys…
Murray: what the heck is going on?!
Goku: we're the defenders of Japan! The anime characters!!!
One punch man: the Japanese military finally allowed our usage!
Meghan: can you help us?!
Vegeta: we would be helping you right now if you would just shut the heck up!!!
Goku: Vegeta calm down!
Carl: this is freakin weird.
Murray: yeah! Ya got that right!
Goku: see you guys later!
(Anime characters fly off)
Murray: let's board that ship!
Carl: which one!?
Murray: that one over there! We can ride it into the blimp!
Carl: good idea.
(The Malloys run towards the ship)
Murray: hurry up! Craig bots coming!!!
Carl: men are dying back here!!!
Murray: worry about that later!!!
Meghan: Murray!
Murray: oh shoot!!!
(Craig bot shoots Meghan Malloy through the stomach)
Carl: MOM!!!
Murray: MEGHAN!!!
(Murray Malloy shoots Craig bot with machine gun)
Carl: nooo!
Murray: MEGHAN!!!
Carl: I think she's gone dad.
Murray: NOOOOO-
(Craig bots surround Murray and Carl)
Murray: damn you Craig bots!!!
(Craig bots kill Carl)
Murray: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! You idiots killed my wife!!!
(Murray rips off Craig bots’ heads)
Murray: Carl….Carl!
Carl: dad….I see the light.
Murray: NO CARL!!!
Carl: I feel cold. Wait! I see it now…
Murray: son I'm sorry I dragged you into this war! After Philip died I just needed someone else!
Carl: it's okay dad...I understand everything now! This isn't what it seems! Get to darwin’s castle! None of this matters...dar- *cough* Darwin...it's Darwin...I don't……..know.
Murray: CARL?! CARL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Mega man: Mr. Malloy! board the ship! You can still escape.
Jack sparrow: yes Murray please!
Murray: that's Thomas to you now.
Mega Man: but sir! You said never to call you-
Murray: I said my name is Thomas Malloy again!!!
Jack Sparrow: yes sir…
Thomas: my ex-wife is dead and now my new wife is dead. I need to become myself again.
Mega Man: we’ll finish this sir!
(Thomas salutes mega man and Jack Sparrow)
Jack Sparrow: it's been an honor sir!
Thomas: goodbye.
(Thomas flies away in ship)
Goku: come on! Let's finish this guy!
Joker: well I guess this has been enough fun...GOODBYE EVERYONE!!!
(Joker presses detonator)
___________________
Meanwhile
______________
News reporter: now from channel 6 news broadcasting live from Europe! We have information that the joker has set a nuclear bomb! Flee the city as soon as-
(Nuclear bomb explodes)
Chapter 12:
Arrival
Deathstroke: come on Terry!!!
Terry: ugh!
Deathstroke: we’re at Darwin’s chambers!!! Let's go!
Terry: water…
Deathstroke: we don't have water!!! We need to kill Darwin!!!
Terry: where’s Robin?
Deathstroke: he and Booster Gold went to kill Darwin. If they succeeded we can get you water.
Terry: let's hope they did.
(Deathstroke opens the door)
(Deathstroke sees Robin and booster gold lying on the floor)
Deathstroke: Robin!!!
Robin: I'm sorry...I failed!
Deathstroke: Robin! Did Darwin do this?!
Robin: he is powerful.
Deathstroke: that's not possible! I trained you!!!
Robin: he's better than all of us somehow!
Deathstroke: is booster dead?
Robin: yeah.
Deathstroke: come on! I found Terry! We can all beat him together.
Robin: no! We can- *gasp*
Deathstroke: what is it?!
(Robin dies)
(Deathstroke is hit in the back of the head)
Darwin: hello Deathstroke.
Deathstroke: Darwin!!!
(Darwin hold up electric gauntlet)
Darwin: yes...it is me.
(Darwin punches Deathstroke with electric gauntlet)
Darwin: I've been waiting for this!!!
Terry: death….stroke…
___________________
Meanwhile
______________
Philip: is Betty okay?!
Han: I gave her a hot towel!!!
Philip: that's not gonna do anything!!!
Han: I'm trying!!!
Philip: try harder!!!
Chewbacca: RRAAUUGGHHHH!!!!!
Mr. W: Philip the Craig bots are powerful! They've broken down our defenses!
Philip: we need attack them instead of hiding behind these man made walls!!!
Donald Trump: I agree!
Philip: but I thought you loved walls?
Donald Trump: uhhhhhh...yeah I do and I also like the second amendment!
Philip: I buy that.
(Donald trump leaves)
Batman: so how do we handle this?
Flash: we follow Philip!
Philip: we have to attack the Craig bots!!!
Batman: let's do this!!!
(Philip jumps over wall)
(Philip shoots Craig bot in the face)
Batman: I’M BATMAN!!!
Flash: yes you are! And I’M FLASH!!!
Batman: no...that doesn't work with you.
Flash: okay…
(Betty Wakes up)
Betty: what's going on?
Han: oh! You're alive!!!
Betty: of course you idiot! Now give me a gun!!!
Han: fine.
(Han hands Betty a pistol)
Betty: suck on this Craig bots!
(Betty shoots Craig bots)
Craig bots: retreat! Retreat from the small group of humans!!!
Han: that was easy.
(more Craig bots appear)
Craig bot: did you really think we were retreating?
Philip: you said you were!
Craig bot: well we’re not! Kill the humans!!!
____________________
Meanwhile
______________
Deathstroke: die!!!
Darwin: these electric gauntlets will send thousands of volts through your body!
Deathstroke: I won't let you live and terrorize this place!!!
Terry: Deathstroke...we need to finish him!
Deathstroke: I know!!!
Darwin: you can't kill me!
Deathstroke: why is that?!
Darwin: because I am Darwin!
(Darwin punches Deathstroke)
Terry: his electricity gauntlets make his hits more powerful!
Deathstroke: I can see that!!!
Darwin: your resistance is at an end!!! The Craig bots have almost killed all your friends!!!
Deathstroke: you'll never defeat us!!!
Darwin: there's only one way this ends!!!
(Darwin punches Deathstroke in the stomach)
Deathstroke: UGH!!!
(Darwin kicks Deathstroke)
Deathstroke: NO!
(Darwin electrocutes Deathstroke)
Deathstroke: AAAUYGHH!!!!
(Deathstroke blocks darwin’s punch)
Darwin: You idiot!
(Darwin kicks Deathstroke)
Darwin: HA!
Terry: Deathstroke! Catch!
(Terry throws Deathstroke a poison dagger)
(Deathstroke catches dagger)
Deathstroke: thanks.
(Darwin punches Deathstroke)
Deathstroke: AH!
(Deathstroke stabs Darwin with poison dagger)
Darwin: so. The end begins!
Deathstroke: you have 5 minutes to live!!!
Darwin: I'll only need 3!!!
(Darwin chokes Deathstroke)
Deathstroke: damn!....you!
(Deathstroke shoots Darwin in the eye)
Darwin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Deathstroke: what is wrong with you!?
Darwin: many things!
Deathstroke: I shot you in the eye! How are you still alive?!
Darwin: I am Darwin!
(Darwin tightens his grip on deathstroke’s throat)
Deathstroke: AUGH!!!
Darwin: I hope these last moments are painful enough)
(Deathstroke coughs up blood)
Terry: n-no…
Deathstroke: I won't let you kill me!
Darwin: that poison has no effect on me.
Deathstroke: it has to!!! You have 2 minutes left!!!
Darwin: that's more than you!
Deathstroke: No!
(Deathstroke stabs Darwin in the leg)
Darwin: I feel no pain!!!
(Darwin let's go of deathstroke’s neck)
Deathstroke: *cough*
Darwin: prepare to die!
Deathstroke: I've prepared for that long ago!
Darwin: then it's time your preparation becomes usefu-
Lex LUthor: Darwin! This is a-
Darwin: come back later fool!!!
Lex LUthor: I need to tell you!!! This is a strange universe! There's something unnatural holding it together!
Darwin: we’ll figure it out later! Let me kill these fools!!!
Lex LUthor: No! Someone is doing something to the world to make it stay together! They've changed something!!!
Darwin: what?!
Lex LUthor: I need to kill whoever it is! I have a scanner telling me whoever it is is in this room!
(Lex LUthor takes out gun)
Lex LUthor: one of you has to die.
Darwin: kill him now!!!
(Lex LUthor holds gun to his own head)
Deathstroke: what?! No! It can't be!
(Darwin steps on deathstroke’s throat)
Deathstroke: *cough* augh! Nooooo…
Lex LUthor: I have to do this...I'm sorry.
(Lex LUthor shoots Darwin)
Darwin: ugh! You…..fool………..
(Darwin falls on the floor)
Darwin: what have you done?
(Darwin’s eyes roll behind his head)
Darwin: WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOONNNEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?
Deathstroke: what's happening?!
(Bullet hole in Darwin’s head regenerates)
Lex LUthor: Master...how are you alive?
Darwin: you want to know the truth?
Lex LUthor: yes.
Darwin: I'm not!!!
(Darwin chokes lex LUthor)
Lex LUthor: how is this possible?!
Darwin: I'm a kaderath!
Lex LUthor: a what?!
Darwin: you'll understand my idiotic friend. You'll understand soon enough.
Deathstroke: we have to get out of here!!! I've studied kaderaths! They're dangerous!
Terry: we have to run…
Kaderath Darwin: there is no running now! The moth light has been shined in the sky. The kaderaths will flock to it and they will feast on your flesh. I have in my pocket a detonator to destroy this entire castle!!! Goodbye everyone!!! Except for me of course!!!
Deathstroke: NOOOOO!!!
(Deathstroke jumps out the window)
(Lex LUthor salutes Deathstroke)
_____________________
Meanwhile in
Asia
_______________
(Mega man, Jack sparrow, Meghan Malloy and 12,000 Japanese citizens walk out of the explosion)
(Everyone turns into kaderaths)
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Philip: oh no! What do we do?!
Betty: look! In the sky!
(Ship crashes)
Mr. W: curious.
(Thomas Malloy comes out of ship)
Batman: who's the guy with half a face?!
Thomas: I'm Thomas Malloy!
Philip: wha?
Thomas: I'm your father Philip.
Philip: wha?!
Thomas: don't you recognize me?!
Philip: dad...you're older?
Betty: it is him! He fights for the resistance Philip.
Philip: why didn't you tell me?!
Betty: I couldn't! You would want to find him and you wouldn't have fought and helped us!
Boom!
Philip: the castle exploded!
Mr. w: YES!!! OUR SALVATION IS AT HAND!!!! HOLY LORD OF THE KADERATHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Mr. W BECOMES A KADERATh)
Han: shoot!!! Wait! My weapon can kill him!!!
Voice: so can mine.
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
(Kaderath Mr. W dies)
Flash: who the heck are you?!
Voice: I am Silas.
Chapter 13:
Kaderaths
Philip: WHO IS THAT?!
SILAS: I am Silas and I am here to help you.
Betty: we need to take down Kaderath Darwin!
Han: I've got this! Where is he?!
Philip: there…
Chapter 14:
THE REUNION
DARWIN: see ya, suckers!!!
(Darwin boards ship)
Darwin: Hahahaha!!!!
Philip: kill him!!!
(Everyone takes out guns and shoots darwin’s ship)
Darwin: HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Han: damnit!
Philip: it's not over…. It'll never be over…
Betty: I'll see if I can set a tracking device on his ship.
Philip: alright, but…
Han: wah?
Philip: I'm just concerned we’re not gonna win…
Han: we have the upper hand. Don't-- don’t worry, man.
Philip: *sigh*...
____________________
ON REETUP
____________________
Kay: good idea, I don't think they'll ever find us here. Okay, now that tenn is dead, we--
Zet: watch out!!
BOOM!
ZEt: shoot! Watch out!!!
Kay: get down!!!
(Ship lands)
Zet: WAH happened?! Where is everyone else?!!!
Kay: NO!!!
Zet: WAH?-- AHHH!!!
(All scavengers besides Kay and Zet die)
Kay: no!!!
Zet: I don't care.
Kay: WAH?! WAH!!! Why not?!!
Zet: cause I'm a kaderath!!!
(Zet turns into Kaderath)
Kay: shoot!
(Kay takes out space sword)
(Kay throws sword at Zet)
(Kaderath Zet dies)
(Barry Allen Flash exits ship)
Flash: hey! Hey!!! Over here!!!
Kay: who's that?!!!
Flash: I'm the flash!
Batman: I'm batman.
Kay: huh?
Flash: don't worry. Just look into my eyes Kay.
Kay: how do you kn--
(Kay levitates)
(Kay’s eyes turn yellow)
Betty: hey!
(Betty takes out machine gun)
(Flash releases Kay)
Kay: ah!!!
Flash: why are you here?!!!!
(Flash turns into Kaderath)
(Kaderath turns into Darwin)
Kay: ahh!!! Help!!!
Batman: WAH the--
(Batman is hit by random brick)
Betty: darwin’s a kaderath?!!!!
Darwin: you bet I am!!!
Betty: AHHH!!!
(Betty shoots machine gun)
Mr. D: no!!!
(Mr. D gets off ship)
Betty: who are you?!
Kay: it's the ancient genius!!! MR. D!!!!
Mr. D: yes! It is I!!! Mr. D!!! Now listen to me Darwin.
Darwin: why should I listen to you?!!!
Mr. D: because I know how to use a semicolon!!!
Darwin: I-- uh?!! AHHH!!! I-- real-- I!!! AHHH!!!
(Darwin faints)
Mr. d: now Kay!
Kay: yeah.
Mr. D: destroy Darwin.
Kay: yes Mr. D. Anything you say.
(Kay takes out space sword)
(Kay stabs Darwin)
Darwin: no!!!! My reign!!! I--
(Darwin dies)
Mr. D: now everyone!!! Board your ships and leave this planet! Follow my ship!
(Everyone does so)
(Everyone leaves and Goes into portal in sky)
Darwin: i-- *glitch* I-- wil-- wi-- wi-w-- will get my…
Darwin: revenge...
Chapter 1:
VENGEANCE
Mr. D: go into the next portal!
(Everyone goes into other portal)
Mrs. D: hi.
Mr. D: hi. Wait?!!! WAH???!!!!!
Mrs. D: I am still alive!
Mr. D: WAH?!
Mrs. D: I'm alive.
Mr. D: okay. GO!!!
Betty: we must destroy the planet we left. So we--
(Betty's ship is hit by debris)
Betty: help!!! Malfunction in my right engine!!!
Mr. D: WAH?! But there's nobody out her--
BOOM!
(Darwin’s ship crashes into mr. d’s)
Mr. D: put your damn signal on!
Mrs. D: lolololoooo!!!!
(Mrs. D takes out machine gun)
Mrs. D: release the hatch, Michael!
Mr. D: okay!
Betty: wait. How did you get into this universe?!
Mr. D and Mrs. D: uh….
(Mr. And Mrs. D turn into Kaderaths)
Betty: hello?
Mr. D: terminate them!
Mrs. D: you don't control me, teer!
Betty: teer? Wait… Batman! Ki--
(Betty's ship explodes)
Batman: Betty?! Betty?!!!
Darwin: surprise!!!
Batman: shoot! I'm batman!
Kay: wah’s that ship?!
(Kaderath’s ship blows up)
Kay: WAH the heck was that?!!
Tenn: it was me.
Darwin: die!
(Darwin shoots tenn's ship)
Tenn: I'm going down!!! Help!!!
(Kay Jumps off ship)
Kay: that wasn't a good ide--
(Kay suffocates from lack of oxygen)
Tenn: AHHH!!!!
(Tenn commits suicide)
(Zet commits suicide)
Darwin: huh?
Batman: I'm frickin’ batman!
Darwin: ahh!!!
(Darwin flies away)
Batman: I gotta get home…
_____________
On Earth
_____________
Batman: where's Phili--
Philip: that was a good fight.
Batman: philip!!! Where were you?!!
Philip: I was in one of the ships.
Batman: oh.
THOMAS: hi.
(1,000 Kaderaths appear from Asia)
Deathstroke: watch out!!!
(Deathstroke takes out dual pistols)
Batman: it’s impossible!!! They're kaderaths!!!
Kaderath: prepare to die humans!!!
Flash: what do we do?! We've lost Betty!!!
Thomas: we need to take everyone up to the kaderaths and start shooting!!!
Silas: that is a terrible idea.
Batman: where's han?
Han: suck on this you weird devil thing!!!
(han shoots kaderath)
(kaderath dies)
Silas: cover me thomas!
Thomas: I cant! I'm out of ammo!!!
Philip: I've got you!!!
(Philip starts shooting)
Deathstroke: need some help?
Philip: you're back!!!
Deathstroke: I've defeated Darwin….actually no I haven't…
Philip: yeah...he escaped…
Flash: We can't just let the kaderaths take over!!!
Batman: we can destroy the Earth.
Deathstroke: the kaderaths will survive that! They're like super cockroaches!
Thomas: we still have Silas and han.
Han: AHHHHHHHHH!!! DIE STUPID KADERATHS!!!
(Han kills kaderath)
Silas: I do not eat bananas.
(Silas kills kaderath with a banana)
Kaderath: puny humans!!!
Batman: I’M bATMAN!!!!!!!!!
DEATHSTROKE: GOD DAMN KADERATHS!!!
Flash: I've got kaderaths on me!!!
Batman: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Thomas: Get to the ships!!!!!!!
______________________
Meanwhile
____________
Chapter 17:
darwin’s speech
___________
On sye
___________
Darwin: hahaha. Hahaha!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Destroy them! We will take over geonosis!!! We will take over Naboo!! We will control krypton!! we will Have slaves begging at our feet!!! The cinema universe will Be ours! All movie universes will be mine-- I mean ours… --- … My Kaderath army, bow down to me!!! And attack, control, and reign!!!! YES!!!
Kaderath in crowd: WAH did he say?
Kaderath: I don't know.
Darwin: huh?!
Kaderath: uh…
Darwin: execute.
(Kaderath guards take them away)
Kaderaths: ahh!!!
Deathstroke: attack!
(Abe Lincoln comes)
Kaderath: Abe Lincoln?!
Abe Lincoln: yeahhh!!!! Boy!!!
(Everyone appears)
(Everyone shoots at Abe Lincoln)
(Abe dies)
Philip: get the space sword cannon!!!
(Kaderaths run)
Philip: fire!!
Socko: I'm a kaderath!!!
Philip: I know. Socko's dead.
Socko: oh.
(Socko kills himself)
Kaderath: WAH do we do, master?!!
Darwin: kill. Them.
Philip: not today, Darwin.
Darwin: kill. Them!!!
(Kaderath tanks come)
Deathstroke: no!!!
Darwin: Fire.
BOOM!!!!
__________________
MID-UPDATE
__________________
Philip and THOMAS Have died. Deathstroke has escaped in his ship and has traveled to Svva. It turned out that the scavengers didn't all die…
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Deathstroke: i think now’s the perfect time. My master. Come.
Voice: no longer your master, i am. call me…
(man comes out of the shadows)
Yoda: YODA.
Deathstroke: yoda?!
Yoda: yes. correct, you are.
Deathstroke: THIS ENTIRE TIME!!! You were my master?!!!
Yoda: master, i was? No heck, weirdo. taxI!
---
Yoda: i take off in my ship and the wrong place i land in...
Chapter 18:
A NEW ALLIANCE
Boom!
Crash!!!
Boom!
Boom!
DEATHSTROKE: wah the heck?! Yoda!! Help!!!
Yoda: sucks for you it does!!!!
(yoda leaves in ship)
Yoda: hahahahaha!!!
(darwin gets off of ship)
Darwin: well, well, well. Deathstr--
(darwin is shot in the back)
Darwin: ahh!!!!
Silas: deathstroke! Get in the ship!
Deathstroke: silas! You found me!!!
Silas: yes…
Deathstroke: …
Silas: …
Deathstroke: well…--
Silas: get in the damn ship!
darwiN: AHHH!!!!!!!
(DARWIN TAKES OUT MACHine gun)
Yoda: lololololoo!!!!
(yoda jumps in front of silas in slow-motion)
(silas is shot in stomach because yoda was in slow-motion)
Deathstroke: SILAS!!! YODA?!! WAH THE heck?!!! Why didn’t you do something?!!!
Yoda: trying to frickin’ save silas, i was. No damn respect, i get…
Han: get silas to the ship!
Darwin: han solo…
Han: darwin…
(han takes out lightsaber)
HAN: you can’t defeat me, darwin. You don’t have the ability, nor the strength.
Nor: huh?
(HAN SHOOTS NOR)
NOR: SHIIIITTT!!!!!!!!!
(darwin ignites lightsaber)
Darwin: prepare to--
Han: die!
Darwin: i was gonna say tha--
(han stabs darwin)
Darwin: ahh!!
HAN: now be a man, darwin! Or will you surrender?
Kanan: ahh!!!!
(kanan jumps in air and attempts to kill darwin with lightsaber)
(darwin kills kanan)
Batman: i’m batman.
Kanan: i’m kan--
(darwin stabs kanan 20 more times in the stomach and head)
corwiN: now mahoney!
MAHONEY: DIE DARWIN!!!
(DARWIN FORce chokes mahoney)
(corwin force chokes darwin)
(mahoney is released)
Batman: corwin! Mahoney! Meet me back at the base!!!
Corwin: i’m corwin.
Batman: i’m batman.
(everyone flies away besides darwin, han, and deathstroke)
Flash: i’m here to hel--
(darwin electrocutes flash)
Flash: ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Han: flasH!!! ahahhahahahahaahhhhH!!!!!!!!!!
(han charges at darwin)
Darwin: face your fate, solo!!!
(DARWIN STABS HAN)
HAN: you won’t win-- *han coughs up blood* -- this easil-- *more blood* easi-- *han pukes*
Yoda: lolololoooo!!!!!!
(yoda ignites lightsaber)
(yoda jumps in air and stabs darwin)
Darwin: nooooo!!!!!
Han: prepare to--
Darwin: die.
(darwin levitates)
Yoda: ahhh!!!!
C-3po: master yoda! Get in the ship!
(yoda runs)\
(darwin obducts yoda)
Yoda: ahhhhhhh!!!!!!
C-3po: master yoda!!!
Yoda: help me, you need to!!!
Han: yo-- *cough* *cough* --da!!!
(han shoots darwin)
Darwin (deep voice): f-u!
(darwin chokes han)
Han: ah!!!
(yoda jumps and punches darwin)
(slow-motion)
(darwin falls on bed of nails)
Han: how did that get there?!
(flash winks)
Darwin: this is wah you get for meddling with my plan, heroes.
(darwin makes ground shake)
(Batman chokes darwin)
Darwin: ahhh!!!
(darwin is bleeding out)
(darwin glitches out)
Batman: darwin’s a--
Han: robot?!!
Yoda: a robot she is?!!!!
Darwin: wake up my army!!!
(rip in the ground appears)
(1,000 kaderaths come out of rip)
Darwin: now!!! Attack!!!!!
Flash: now!!!
Bob: hello Darwin.
Flash: kill hi--
(Darwin shoots flash)
Flash: ahh!!! Bob! Tell yoda to come!!!
Bob: …
Flash: bob?
(Bob walks next to Darwin)
Flash: b… Bob?
(Bob turns into kaderath)
Batman: how do we win this?
Flash: we…
Han: can't.
________________________
Meanwhile on
Kaderath base
On Kaderathia
________________________
Kaderath (Jim): so… Do… You, uh. Think th--
Kaymond: uh, yeah--
Jim: uh.. Yeah.
Kaymond: do you think Darwin killed them yet?
Jim: uh--
BOOM!
(Kaderathia is hit by meteor)
_____________
On earth
_____________
Darwin: bow down to me flash!
(Flash gets taken under control by Darwin)
Flash: yes, master.
Yoda: no!!!
Ghost of Ezra: ahh!!!
(Ghost of Ezra stabs Darwin
(Darwin regenerates stomach)
Ghost of Ezra: uh…
---
Ghost of Ezra: shoot.
Batman: Ezra?!!!
Ghost of Ezra: yes batman.
Mr. D: hi.
(Mr. D turns into kaderath)
Chapter 19:
Running out of time
(batman and Flash are talking on communicator)
Batman: wally! You know what you have to do!
Flash: I know! You guys ready with the escape?
Batman: yep...destroy this timeline!
Flash: I know.
(flash shuts off his communicator)
Flash: I can do this!!!
_________________
meanwhile
_____________
Batman: I told him the mission!!!
Deathstroke: We have to keep shooting!!!
Silas: We’re done.
Silas: More kaderaths!!!
Batman: Holy-
Deathstroke: Get down!
(Deathstroke knocks batman on the floor)
Silas: We need to take out Darwin!!!!!!
Deathstroke: For Han…
Batman: AHHHHHHHH!!!
(Batman throws rock at darwin)
Darwin: Who dares!?
Batman: we dares!!!
Darwin: Oh...okay then…
(darwin kills everyone…..or does he? No he doesn’t…)
Batman: I’m BATMAN!!!
Darwin: I’M DARWIN!!!
(Silas shoots Darwin in the face)
Deathstroke: WOW!
Silas: yeah….wow….
Darwin: I’m not dead.
Silas: oh…
(Silas shoots Darwin)
(Darwin Doesn’t die)
Silas: How are you not dead!?
Darwin: I’m a Kaderath!!!
Batman: Yeah but…I’m Batman…
(DARWIN SHOOTS BATMAN!!!!!!!!!)
Batman: what the heck!!!
Darwin: I'm the villain...I shot you.
Batman: I know but like…I’m batman…
Darwin: well you're about to be Dead Batman!!!
Batman: that was terrible.
Darwin: I know but Kaderaths can't really make good jokes.
Batman: ahhhhh...okay.
Darwin: so can I like kill you now?
Batman: no.
Darwin: oh...but I am going to kill you.
Batman: No you're not.
Darwin: How do you figure that?
Batman: Well it goes something like this...SILAS!!! NOW!!!
(Silas shoots Darwin in the chest)
Darwin: I already told you...you can't….*cough* kill me)
(Darwin bleeds out on the floor)
Darwin: ugh! Kaderaths!!! Kill them!!!
(Kaderaths aRmy charges)
Silas: I'll take head shots! Han I’ll need your help!!!
Han: got it!
Deathstroke: we are so screwed! That's like 12,000 Kaderaths!!!
Kaderaths: DIE HUMANS!!!!!!!
Silas: we’re severely outnumbered.
Batman: then we need to act fast and take them out! GO!!!
__________________
Meanwhile
_____________
Obi-wan: GET AWAY!!!
(Obi-wan reaches the surface)
Kaderath Anakin: Die!!!
Obi-wan: NEVER!!!
Kaderath Martian Manhunter: We will finish you!!!
Obi-wan: *gasp*
(Obi-wan sees the rest of the resistance)
(Obi-wan runs)
Kaderaths Martian Manhunter: He’s escaping!!!
Kaderath Anakin: not for long.
Silas: LOOK!!! It’s Obi-wan!!!
Obi-wan: THEY’RE KADERATHS!!!
Batman: wha?
Kaderath Anakin: Kill him!!!
Silas: Oh...I see.
(Silas shoots KADERATHS Anakin in the head)
(KADERATH Anakin dies)
Han: I've got this!
(Han kills KADERATH Martian Manhunter)
Deathstroke: oh shoot!!! Obi-Wan! The kaderaths!!!
Obi-wan: we need to kill Darwin!!!
Silas: Shoot Han! SHOOT!!!
Han: The kaderaths have invaded everywhere!!! We can't escape!!!
Batman: shoot!!!
Voice: we will claim your heads for the ancient sith lords!!!
Obi-wan: wha?!
Revan: HAHAHAHAHA!!! THE SITH WERE WAITING FOR YOUR WEAKENED STATE SO WE CAN FINALLY KILL YOU!!!!!!!
Obi-wan: who are you?!
Han: he's from our universe!!! He's a sith! They came with Maul to kill us!!!
Silas: I clearly wasn't alive for all this…
Deathstroke: whoever he is we have to kill him!
Silas: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Silas shoots Darth Revan in the ribs)
Revan: NOOOOOO!!! Finish them!
(Sidious cuts off obi-wan’s arm)
Obi-wan: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Batman: JEDI GUY!!!
(Batman throws Batarang at KADERATH)
KADERATH: augh!
(Kaderath falls out of the sky)
Silas: EVERYONE GET READY!!!
Obi-Wan: for what?!
Sidious: DIE!!!
Silas: FIRE!!!
(Deathstroke shoots sidious in the face)
(Sidious dies)
Deathstroke: good riddance!
Revan: DAMN YOU!!!
Batman: GO TO heck!!!
(Batman chokes revan with bat rope)
Revan: ACK!
Han: I'll kill him!
Obi-wan: NO!!! I HAVE TO DO THIS!!! I FEEL LIKE I OWE IT TO HIM!
Revan: And I owe you this. GENERAL!!!
(General grievous appears)
Han: shoot.
Grievous: HAHAHAHAHA!!! You will all die!!!
Kaderaths: HEY!!! HE’S NOT WITH US!!!
Grievous: you're right...I’m Not!!!
(Grievous kills Kaderath)
(Kaderaths bite grievous)
Grievous: AAUGHH!!!!!
Silas: Han! You and me take the kaderaths-
Batman: AAHHHHHHHH!!!
(Batman rides on Kaderath)
Silas: and batman I guess...Obi-wan and Deathstroke can handle the sith guys!
Revan: SITH GUYS?!?!
Batman: I’m BATMMMAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!
Silas: GO!!!
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Flash: oh God...What is this…
(Batman calls flash)
Batman: flash! We’re almost done!!! Darwin….. *ssshhhhhh* Darwin!!! Da- W- In…..We need- Destroy- Timeline.
Flash: what?
(Flash gets punched in the face)
Flash: wha?!
Voice: hello.
Flash: who the heck?
Voice: It’s me...the reverse flash.
Flash: oh my God!
Reverse Flash: I won't let you destroy the universe! You'll never reach Darwin’s device before this world becomes permanent!!!
Flash: that’ll never happen!!!
Reverse Flash: we’ll see!
(Reverse flash stabs flash in the stomach)
Flash: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
Reverse Flash: keep running Wally...just keep running.
Flash: I have to….do this!!!
Reverse Flash: you just don't get it!!!
(Reverse Flash trips flash)
Flash: NO!!!
(Flash falls)
Reverse Flash: So...how would you prefer to die?
Flash: I don't!!!
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
Batman: how we doing?!
Obi-wan: he’s too-
(Revan stabs obi-wan)
(Obi-wan dies)
Deathstroke: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(Deathstroke picks up obi-wan’s lightsaber)
Grievous: prepare to die!
Deathstroke: never……..no…….
(Deathstroke cuts off grievous’ arms)
(Deathstroke kills grievous)
(Deathstroke is stabbed by Kaderath blade)
Kaderath: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Deathstroke: ugh! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Deathstroke rips Kaderath blade out of himself)
(Deathstroke kicks Kaderath)
Silas: NONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!
(Silas kills Kaderath)
Han: what do we do?!
Silas: I'm finishing this!!!
Batman: I’M BAAAATTTMAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Batman stabs Kaderath with Batarang)
Silas: DARWIN!!!
(Darwin flies toward Silas)
Silas: come at me Darwin!!!
Darwin: why should I even bother with you human?!
Silas: Because I'm not a human!!!
(Silas transforms into true form of the kaderath)
Silas: I'm a Kaderath!!!
Darwin: maybe you are worth killing.
(Silas takes out gun)
Darwin: ha! You think a gun will-
(Silas shoots Darwin)
Darwin: ha….ha….an alternate universe gun….
Silas: yes...that should kill you.
Darwin: Kaderaths!
(Kaderaths shoot healing lasers at Darwin)
Deathstroke: what's happening?!
Batman: He's being healed!!!
Silas: I'll kill him!!!
(Kaderaths surround batman)
(Deathstroke is bit by Kaderath)
Deathstroke: Augh!
(Deathstroke flips Kaderath)
(Han kills Kaderath)
(Han is shot in the arm with Kaderath arrow)
Han: AH!!!
(Han is shot again)
Han: shoot!
Batman: I'm-
Darwin: RRRAAAUUGGGHHH!!!!!!!!
(Darwin Punches through batman’s heart)
Batman: ahhhhh……..Silas……*cough* now….
(Silas shoots Darwin repeatedly in the face)
Darwin: Thank…...you…….
Silas: what?
(Batman dies)
Darwin: I'm a Kaderath…….
Deathstroke: we have to go!!!
Han: I've got this!!!
____________________
Meanwhile
_______________
(Flash picks up communicator)
Flash: …..yes?
Han: this is Han!
Flash: what happened to…..batman?
Han: he died! The world should be exploding apart right now!
Flash: what's going on?!
Han: get to the ship! It must be a delayed effect!!! We can still get out of here with you!!!
Flash: no...something's still wrong!
Reverse Flash: that's right.
(reverse flash kicks flash)
Han: hey you douche!!!! Get away from him!!!
Reverse flash: what are you gonna do about it hologram?
(Reverse flash crushes communicator)
Flash: No….
Reverse flash: can't you put 2 and 2 together?
Flash: what….what do you mean?
Reverse Flash: Darwin obviously didn't create this universe...so think. Who has the speed necessary to do all this? To alter everything and carry it into the universal stream?
Flash: no….you couldn't have.
Reverse Flash: how do you think Philip and Thomas were killed?! It's because I made it that way!!! And now with the world at its end my work is done. I've just sat back and watched as your friends and the entire world destroy themselves.
Flash: that's….evil.
Reverse flash: and I'm The villain...there's nothing left to die now! We’re all going to die!!!
Flash: but if I kill you now I can destroy this universe and set us back to our old one!!!
Reverse Flash: it's going to be near impossible.
Flash: let's test that.
(Flash knocks down reverse flash)
Flash: I'll finish you!
Reverse Flash: you can't. You don't have-
Bang!
Flash: what the?!
Silas: get in the ship!
Flash: a Kaderath?!
Silas: no...I'm Silas…..I work for the resistance.
Flash: where do we-
(Earthquake)
Silas: AHHHHHH!!!
Flash: what the heck?!?!
Silas: the crew is waiting for you!!!
Flash: go!!!
(Flash and Silas run to the ship)
Han: get in!!!
(Earth starts to explode)
(Kaderath trips flash)
(Kaderath Grabs silas’ leg)
Silas: we’re trapped!!!
Flash: the Earth!!! It's exploding!!!
Han: not just that! The scanners are sayin the universe is shrinking!!!
Deathstroke: COME ON!!!
Flash: GO!!!
Silas: I can shoot the hand!!!
Flash: you'll never make it!!! I have to push you with super speed!!! The kaderaths have me too!!!
Silas: very well……..
Flash: goodbye. At least I know that a better universe will survive…
Han: flash what are you doing?!?!
Flash: HOLD ONNNNNN…
Silas: We’re going to die! Time is running out!
Flash: Go!!!
Deathstroke: we can't go without you!!
Flash: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(Flash chops off Kaderath arm)
(Flash super-pushes Silas)
Silas: thank you…
Flash: your…….welcome……
(Silas lands in ship)
Deathstroke: LET’S MOVE!!! HAN FLY!!!
Han: we’re good!!!
(Han flies)
(Earth Explodes)
Deathstroke: the universe is collapsing in on us.
Silas: we’re going to die…
Han: well...at least we eliminated the kaderaths.
Silas: look at it...it’s so beautiful….like a fire that consumes all things…
Han: well...that's a nice last thought…….
Boom!
_______________
Later
___________
Deathstroke: we’re alive?!
(Han Wakes up)
Han: wha?!
Deathstroke: we’re alive.
Silas: wait...I'm getting back my memories!!! Wait! Where’s chewbacca?!
Han: he wasn't even in the other universe that much!!!
Deathstroke: i think it has something to do with that…
(Everyone looks at giant portal in space)
Silas: who is that?
Darth Caedus: ALL LEGIONS OF TIME WILL BOW TO ME!!!!!! Trap the rebels in the rift!!!
Deathstroke: are you kidding me?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!
Han: the fun never ends.
Silas: time for the next fight against evil.
Han: heh I wonder what happened to Darwin?
___________________
Meanwhile
_____________
Voice: we need to be fast and contact Darth Caedus! He needs to know not to underestimate these three…
(Darwin’s face is scarred and he has a robot leg)
Darwin: yes...if I cannot have my universe then theirs will have to do...
Servant: yes my lord…
Darwin's they will pay...with their lives…..
Kaderaths: HAIL DARWIN!!!! HAIL DARWIN!!!!!
THE END
To be CONTINUED IN NOTHING BUT
LIES x: Rift In Time
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
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