NOTHING
BUT LIES
A PARODY OF THE AWARD-WINNING
NOVEL: NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
By JOSEPH D’ANDREA,
STEPHEN RINI, and
JOHN SPRAGUE
DEDICATED TO AVI AND
MR. DLUGOZIMA
Introduction:
It was a dark afternoon in the year 2040 and evil mastermind Margaret “peg leg” Narwin was interrogating a young resistance member named Todd. Todd is a member of the ‘40 Age Resistance. They fought against Narwin and her evil cyborg clones called peg-bots. Narwin knew that one day, one of her old students would seek and finally get revenge on her. His name is…
Philip Malloy:
Leader of the resistance
NOTHING BUT LIES:
A true, unfortunate story
______________________________________________
Chapter 1:
THE RESISTANCE IS FORMED
Philip was in his basement waiting for his mom to call him up for dinner. He was playing black ops: 3. Typical… The year is 2016. Philip Malloy is in the 10th grade. He despises his English teacher, ms. Narwin (or as he calls her, narwin). He got a ‘D’ in English last year. A ‘D’!!! “Phil! Come get your food! While it’s still hot!” yelled his mom.
__________________
AFTER DINNER
-9:50 PM-
________________________
FROM THE DIARY
OF PHILIP MALLOY:
I had a tough day today… I think I'll jump out the window… yeah that sounds like a good idea.
_________
_____7:45 A.M.____
Discussion on bus
Between Philip Malloy and
Todd becker
_________________________
Philip Malloy: hey Todd! Gotta tell you something!
Todd Becker: what is it Phil?
Philip Malloy: It’s Narwin! she’s trying to fail me for the year!!!
Todd Becker: Come on dude! What evil mastermind would do that?
Philip Malloy: I’m telling you Todd… there’s just something wrong with her.
______________________________________________
-11:56 A.M.-
______________________________________________
-MARCH 2, 2016-
DISCUSSION WITH SCHOOL
Board about Margaret Narwin
______________________________________________
dr. Joseph PALLENI: okay everyone. Settle in. We have a lot to discuss.
Stephen MILLER (school board member): did you hear about peg? She stole a car! Or at least attempted...
JOE Lewis (school board member): Yeah… She's crazy! I feel bad for her students. She's a bad role model for them. Before you know it, the kids will be robbin’ banks!
JOHN SMITH JR. (FACULTY ADVISER): Let's get down to the facts. We're gonna fire Narwin, right? I mean, she's out of control! First she forgets to unclog the teacher's lounge toilet, now she's stealin’ cars!!! What's next, vandalism?!?!
Bob Bobson JR. JR. (Random homeless guy in window): I like Narwin. She was walking down the street and started stealing my only money. Then i instantly became in love with her. She hates me though.
JOHN SMITH JR.: Shut up Rick! Nobody cares!
Bob bobson jR. JR.: My name is actually--
Everyone in the room: get away Rick!!!
______________________________________________
-AFTER MEETING-
_______-9:39 P.M.-_______
______________________________________________
COUNTY JAIL
-11:56 P.M.-
______________________________________________
What Philip did not know was that Narwin was planning an escape. That's right. It was time for Philip to form the ultimate team to defeat Narwin. THEY WOULD CALL THEMSELVES THE ‘16 AGE RESISTANCE (would later change to the ‘40 age RESISTANCE). This is the team:
PHILIP MALLOY
MR. MALLOY
MRS. MALLOY
Kevin Peterson
ALLISON DORSETT
TODD BECKER
TED GRIFFEN
COACH JAMISON
JENNIFER STEWART
Two days later, Narwin blew up the jail. She was out for Philip. “I'll show you patriotism kid…” she said to herself after the explosion.
______________________________________________
Philip found a letter in his Locker the next day. This is what the letter said:
Philip Malloy:
This is Peg Narwin from your old English class. How's your new teacher? It won't matter after I'm back anyway. I busted out and will get revenge on you. I'm back in my lair and constructing cyborgs to capture you. I'm going to catch you and give you unlimited ‘D’s’ on your report card. Good luck…
Sincerely,
Peg
______________________________________________
Philip ran into a nearby sewer and hid there.
______________________________________________
-8 Months later-
______________________________________________
Philip came out of the sewer smelling like rats. He saw a billboard that said ‘obey peg’ and a guy tied up...
He immediately went back in the sewer.
-20 years later-
“Get down Allison!” Philip yelled. “We’ll find shelter by those towers! Hurry!!!” BOOM! A loud crash was heard by Philip. It was none other than peg-leg Narwin, evil mastermind.
______________________________________________
Chapter 2:
A NEW ERA
____________________________
Conversation near towers
Between resistance and Narwin
______________________
Philip: Narwin!
Narwin: Philip!
Philip: Narwin!!
Narwin: Philip!!
Ted: Ted.
Philip: Come on Narwin you’re outnumbered!
Narwin: yes Philip, but you’re outsmarted.
Ted: OH GOD!!! THE TOWERS ARE GOIN’ DOWN!!!
Allison: How did she do that?!?!
Philip: Just give us Ted back!!!
Kevin: YEAH MAN COME ON!!!
Narwin: you want him? Come and get him!!!
(Ted is thrown onto floor)
Narwin: You think you’re so smart. with your fancy pocket gps and calculator. You disgust me Philip. Now if you want me to give back--
Philip: shut up, Narwin!
Narwin: can I finish my sentence? Please?
Philip: my bad, go on…
Narwin: never mind.
(NARWIN THROWS A ROCK AT Phillip [and misses]).
Philip: just stop Nar-- OW!
Narwin: Guess my aim isn’t that far off Philip!
Ted: *bloody cough*
Allison: What did you do to him?! You’re evil Narwin! I don’t know why I ever liked you!!!
Kevin: Take this Narwin!!!
(Kevin throws rock and also misses)
Philip: Really Kevin?
Kevin: what? You could do better?
(PHILIP THROWS ROCK STRAIGHT AT NARWIN’s nose)
______________________________________________
Narwin threw a smoke bomb at the floor.
(Narwin makes random spooky noises)
Philip: we can still see y--
(Narwin yells ‘BOOO!!!!’)
Philip: Narw--
Narwin: BOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Philip: shut up, Narwin!
(Everyone laughs)
(Narwin blows up 5 buildings)
______________________________________________
-2 hours later-
•They're still having a stare-off•
______________________________________________
Kevin: give up Narwin!
Narwin: how about I shoot you with a tranquilizer dart instead.
(Narwin shoots Kevin with a tranquilizer dart)
Kevin: hey, wha--
(Dart hits kevin again)
Kevin: OW!!!
Philip: don’t take Allison!
Narwin: I wasn't, but ok. Thanks for the great idea.
(Philip slaps himself)
(Narwin makes wicked-witch-of-the-west noises)
Narwin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Philip: I'll save you Allison! For I am sir Philip--
Allison: shut up Phil and do something!
Philip: wait!!!
(Pause)
Philip: for I am Sir Philip Michael Malloy of Jefferson and I will hereby swear to no matter what, save Allison DORSETT.
Allison: if you would just stop yapping, you could of won already!
Narwin: hey Kevin.
Kevin: yeah.
(Narwin shoots Kevin with three tranquilizer darts)
Narwin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Narwin flies away on her broom)
Ted: what the---
______________________________________________
Chapter 3:
Far from freedom
______________________
Conversation at splitting tower land
__________________________
Phillip: ALLISON! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Ted: Philip the rock is splitting!
Phillip: Kevin drag-- oh shoot!
Phillip: (grabs Todd and Kevin dragging them towards large forest)
Kevin: wah?
Ted: THE CYBORGS!!! THEY’RE COMING!!! I’LL HOLD THEM OFF PHIL TAKE YOUR FRIENDS AND GO!!! NOW!!!
(mr. Malloy comes out of nowhere and starts shooting a machine gun into the sky for no reason)
MR Malloy: We intend to support you on this Phillip! Now go!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Philip: we can go through the sewer in order to reach Narwin’s lair! Yes!
Coach Jamison: use your head Philip! That was a terrible idea. No wonder you never made the track team…
Philip: Be quiet coach! I'm doin’ it anyway!!!
(Philip does it)
(He soon reaches Narwin’s lair)
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
________________________
Conversation between Dr. Joseph Palleni and Margaret Narwin
__________________
Lord Palleni: shall I destroy the boy narwin?
Narwin: no! Release the hounds. that will take care of him.
Palleni: the hounds?! They will kill him before he has a chance!!!
Narwin: good! We cannot allow Another screw up like last time lord Palleni!
Palleni: Sorry about that but the boy….he has Fire. A fire I fear will wipe us out!
Narwin: their resistance is small and will easily be obliterated. Slowly torture the girl. Philip will come from her.
Palleni: what about the others? Ted griffin is on a chunk of land in our old skates tower base.
Narwin: destroy him! Send the cyborgs.
Palleni: he Is resilient. He….he..destroyed them.
Narwin: we Will have to do better then won’t we Palleni?
____________________________
Battle in the sewers
_____________________
Todd: *cough* Phil? Did you hear that?
Kevin: Todd you shouldn’t be standing.
Todd: wait…. I know that sound...
Phillip: What is it Todd?!
Todd: they’re coming!
Phillip: Who?! Who’s coming?!?!
Todd: Narwin’s hounds!!! They'll kill anything she tells them to!
Phillip: we have to move! Kevin, help me Carry todd!
Kevin: they’re gaining Phil!
Phillip: Go Kevin!!! I’ll be right behind you!
(Phillip takes out laser blaster)
Phillip: eat hot plasma whatever you are!!!
( “hounds” come in)
Phillip: They aren't even freakin hounds! They’re some mutated random things!!!
(Phillip fires blaster and kills hounds on the right)
Phillip: Kevin cover me!!!
Todd: the door! It’s right up ahead!!!
(The trio runs slamming the door in the remain in hounds’ faces)
Todd: oh no! I’ve heard of this! Narwin calls it the trials three! We’re the deadly maze!
Kevin: I’ve heard of it too! No one’s ever escaped alive!!!
Phillip: than I guess we’ll have to be the first. Come on we don’t have much daylight left.
_______________________________________
_________________
Chapter 4:
Flight by night: part 1
___________________________
Conversation at the start of the maze
____________________
Philip: we can't even climb the walls.
Kevin: this is sinister dudes!
Todd: get ready for a firefight.
Philip: oh not again!
Todd: no I can sense it! It’s coming! We just have to go!
Kevin: all right then gents let's haul!
Philip: Wait. is it the hounds?
Todd: no something-- OW!!!
PHILIP: what?!
Todd: just a headache, I’ll be fine we just have to move.
Kevin: where?! it’s almost dark!
Philip: what was that?
Kevin: what?!
Philip: RUN!!! NOW!!!
TODD: I can’t walk!
(Philip and Kevin drag todd with them as they run)
Philip: I think we lost whatever it was!!!
Voice: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
PHILIP: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!
KEVIN: RUN!!! AGAIN!!!
TODD: LOOK! A DOOR!!
KEVIN: WHAT? IT SAYS CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE COMPLETED ONE FIFTIETH OF THE MAZE?!?!?!
VOICE: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
TODD: JUST GO IN!!!
_________________________
CONVERSATION BETWEEN AlliSON AND JOSEPH PALLENI
____________________
PALLENI: NOW ALL IS YOU KNOW WE INTEND NOT TO KILL YOU...
ALLISON: stop messin’ around PALLENI! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING! TO USE ME AGAINST PHILIP AND THE RESISTANCE! LIKE, THAT IT’S SICK AND TWISTED! LIKE YOU!
PALLENI: TRISTAN, ME MY DEAR GIRL WE HAVE PLANS THAT WILL CERTAINLY EXCEED YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
ALLISON: JUST KNOW THAT WHEN THE RESISTANCE GETS HERE YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE!
PALLENI: HA! KIND OF LIKE YOU.
(PALLENI TURNS TO LEAVE)
Allison: aren’t you going TO FEED ME?
PALLENI: YOU ARE OUR PRISONER. LET PHILLIP FEED YOU. OH WAIT! HE’S PROBABLY DEAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
____________________
conversation between
Mr. And Mrs. Malloy
In their headquarters
____________________
Mr. Malloy: we have to go! To save Phil!
Mrs. Malloy: we don't have time for that idiot anymore.
Mr. Malloy: he's your son!
Mrs. Malloy: he's still an idiot!
Mr. Malloy: Uhhhhhh….
Mrs. Malloy: what? What is it?
Mr. Malloy: a cyborg!!! Get down!! They’ll bring you to PALLENI! Hurry!
Mrs. Malloy: no! I want to get to PALLENI. I'll show him a suspension…
(Cyborg takes Mrs. Malloy)
Mr. Malloy: NOOO!!!!
(Cyborg flies to lord palleni)
*BOOm!!!*
(Mr. Malloy is shot in the torso by another peg-bot)
Mr. Malloy: oh my--
(Mr. Malloy dies)
_________________________________________________________
Chapter 5:
Flight by night part 2
Philip was in his laboratory trying to find a solution to defeat Narwin. Did we mention that Narwin is an evil, snake-like, ¼ cyborg, ⅓ pig, and has a tail. Oh yeah, she's also is poisonous.
______________________________________________
FROM THE DIARY OF
PHILIP MALLoy
__________________________________
I think that I should give up. Allison is overrated anyway. Narwin is too--
•••••
Kevin: Phil! Phil! It worked! We did it! Hurry, while we still have time!
______________________________________________
FROM THE DIARY OF
PHILIP MALLoy
__________________________________
YEEEAAAHHH!!!! Let's go!
•••••
Philip: let's go save Allison!!!
Kevin: you know she hates you, ri---
Philip: shut. up. Kevin.
Kevin: but---
Philip: what did I say!!!?!?!
Todd: Philip! Kevin! Quit messin’ around! Let's go.
Ted: I'm still here… Whah’ I do?
(Everyone [besides Ted] leaves)
_________________
At lord palleni’s
Hideout
_________________
Mrs. Malloy: give up PALLENI!!
PALLENI: never! Ya’ think y'all can win? Huh?!?! Wrong!!! Allison will die at midnight when I'm done with my dinner. Your out of Tim--
Philip: not so--
(Philip trips)
Philip: not so fast *deep breath* pa-- *breath* --lleni!
PALLENI: who are you?
Philip: Philip
PALLENI: huh?
Philip: Malloy?
Palleni: doesn't ring a bell.
Philip: I'm the kid you suspended in middle school back in 2015?
PALLENI: You talkin’ ‘bout Jim Harrison? Huh? You're confusing me kid…
Philip: *sigh* (starts singing star spangled banner).
PALLENI: OOHHHHH!!!! Philip Malloy! Yeah! I’m gonna kill you.
(PALLENI throws a bomb at him)
Philip: are you crazy PALLENI?!
PALLENI: yep! (Throws another bomb)
(Mrs. Malloy shoots PALLENI in the heart with a Bazooka)
PALLENI: curse…. You…. Phil---
(Lord Joseph PALLENI dies)
(Philip called in his private jet to take him and Allison away to safety WITH MRS. MALLOY. Or were they really that's safe…)
______________________________________________
Chapter 6:
The end?
_____________________________________
AT NARWIN’S LAIR
_____________________________________
NARWIN: You think you're sooooo safe, don’cha Philip malloy. wrong! you’ll see… i’ll get revenge on what you did. getting me fired! Now are you happy what i’ve turn--
NARWIN’S HENCHMAN: uh, Lord Narwin? Who are you talking to?
narwin: What do you want Bob!?!?!
bob: i just asked you?
narwin: wha?
bob: who are you talki--
(narwin punches bob)
bob: what was that for?!
narwin: living!
___________________________________
at the top secret
‘40 age resistance base
***
conversation between
philip malloy and
todd becker
__________________________________
philip: todd, get me the ax, please.
todd: okay Phil.
(todd throws the ax at philip)
philip: ow!
(NAWRIN COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND THROWS MULTIPLE SMOKE BOMBS ON THE FLOOR TO INCREASE EMPHASIS ON HER ENTRANCE)
(Narwin starts singing “the final countdown” with background dancers)
philip: wha?
(kevin comes into the room)
(kevin looks at narwin)
(kevin leaves)
narwin: give me todd!
philip: why? he’s useless!
todd: hey!
(kevin comes back into the room)
kevin: take this narwin!
(kevin throws a rock at narwin)
philip: he… he actually hit her!
narwin: lucky hit kevin!!!
(kevin leaves)
narwin: now philip… you think you can escape? well--
philip: shut up, narwin!
(everyone laughs)
Narwin: hahahahahaha.
Philip: why are you laughing?! Stop laughing!!!
Narwin: because of the revenge plan I have!
Seymour: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Kevin: what?
Seymour: hello Philip!
Philip: Who are you?
Seymour: Really? I’m like... your worst enemy!
Philip: no. No I don’t remember you.
Seymour: well I do!
(Seymour throws Knife at Philip)
Todd: Inconceivable!!!
Phillip: hey you can’t just throw knives at people!!!
Narwin: goodbye.
Jamison: no! Goodbye to you Narwin!!!
Philip: coach! Catch!
(Phil throws knife to Jamison)
Jamison: thanks kid.
Narwin: no matter what, my evil plan will only be delayed.
(Narwin Flies off on evil broom)
Jamison: quick! get Seymour before he escapes!!!
Ted: I'll do it!
(Ted throws boomerang and hits Seymour)
Seymour: you haven't seen the last of me!!!
(Seymour leaves with boomerang)
Ted: hmmmm... I think he escaped.
philip: yeeaaahhhh!
Kevin: hey! Have a good day Seymour.
_______________________________________
_______________
Chapter 7:
The JOURNEY BEGINS
________________________________________________________
From the captains log of Philip Malloy
__________________________________
Today We leave the Secret base and go to destroy Narwin. She will never see it coming. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! UHHHHHH yeah so she will uhhh never see it ummmm coming yeah. So anyway Ted and Coach Jamison are going on a recon mission for some old junk in their spaceship or Whatever. Getting ready…. for Narwin.
________________________________________________________
Conversation between Philip, Todd and Kevin outside the secret base of the 40 age resistance
____________________________________
Philip: Narwin must be stopped!
Kevin: Yeah, she’s like majorly uncool.
Todd: Hmmmmmmm……..
Philip: Okay, Todd? Did you bring the what we told you?
Todd: Yeah some C-4... and Hershey bars...
Kevin: Annnnnddddddddd?
Todd: that’s it.
Kevin: Whattaya mean that’s it?! We told you to bring our comic book collections!!!! Bad pack Mule!
(Kevin slaps Todd)
Philip: Ok I guess we’ll have to get by without Our comic books for a few days.
Kevin: Or months.
Philip: Let’s just get on the S.S. Anchor and calm down. Okay?
______________________________________________
ON THE S.S. ACHOR
(‘40 AGE RESISTANCE BOAT)
_______________________________________________
Kevin: Hey Ted?
Ted: Yeah.
Kevin: Where is the--
*Explosion*
Ted: What the heck was that!?
Kevin: Get down!
Voice: Hahahahahahhaha!!!
Kevin: Wha--
(Mysterious figure shoots multiple shots with a flare gun towards Ted and Kevin)
Ted & Kevin: AHHHH!!!
(Mysterious figure leaves on a jet pack)
(Philip enters the room)
Philip: What happened!?
Ted: *random gibberish*
(Philip looks at Kevin)
Kevin: It was... Well, ahhhh. It was this person who... Ummm...
Philip: No time for excuses guys. Just, just hurry up and clean this place up, please.
Kevin: But--
Philip: Stop.
Chapter 8:
The SEARCH
KEVIn and Ted WERE eager to find that person who blew up part of the ship. They knew that if they captured him/her and brought him/her back to the base, they would be rewarded by Philip.
Philip ended up accompanying them on their search. They started the search 9:30 P.M. in the greenwood forest And were ready to get the mysterious figure.
Philip: Ted!
Ted: yeah?
Philip: get me the power converter and thermal detonator, please.
Ted: oka--
(GUN FIRE SOUND, SMOKE)
Philip: Ted!
Ted: go on… It won't bleed out too much…
Kevin: should we leave, Phil?
Philip: he’ll be okay. Let's go… We’ll come back for him later.
(GUN BULLETS SHOT, GREY SMOKE)
Kevin: you okay Phil?
Philip: ke--
Kevin: Phil?!
Philip: where are *Cough* you?
Kevin: by the oak tree!
(GUN SHOTS)
Kevin: Philip!
Philip: where are y-- are you okay! Where are those shots coming fr---
Voice: GET DOWN PHILIp!
Kevin: who's that?
Philip: ---
Kevin: what?!
(No answer)
Kevin: Phil!!!
Philip: Go!! Go!!! Hurry! Get Ted, and *cough* Save the resistance!
Kevin: Bu--
(Philip runs to kevin, and away from random person)
Philip: Run! Run! We have to go!
Kevin: phi--
(GUN SHOTS)
Kevin: Ahhhh!!!
(Kevin is shot in the back)
Philip: Kevin! Are you--
(BOOM!)
(Kevin is shot on the ground)
Philip: Kevin!!!
Kevin: You get Ted… You save the world form Narwin… You… You…
Philip: WHAT!!!
(Kevin Peterson dies)
Philip: Kevin!!!
(Philip is shot in the arm)
(Boom!)
(Philip shots in front of him with his hand pistol)
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
(Silence)
Philip: *Heavy breathing*
(Philip runs into the forest to later find Ted)
Philip: Ted! Ted! You okay!?
(Philip sees Ted on the ground knocked out)
(Ted GRIFFEn dies)
Philip: Ted? Ted?! TED!!!
----
_________________
At the ‘40 age
Resistance base
__________________
Philip: hey guys…
Allison: you fine? What's wrong?
Philip: *Starts crying* Ted! *cries* he-- he died! So did *cough* ke-- *Cough* Kevin!
Allison: are they--
Philip: why are your clothes so dirty? Did you go on a separate mission or something? You’re bleeding!
Allison: uhhh… It's no big de--
(Toilet flush)
Todd: ahh… Oh! Hey Philip! You back early? Ummm…
Philip: you're bleeding too! What happened to you guys?
___________________________
Chapter 9:
Questions answered
_______________________
Conversation between phillip, Allison,
an actual Jewish actor, and todd
_______________
Actual jewish actor: we need to find out what happened, Phillip!
Philip: Who the heck are you?
(Philip shoots actual jewish actor)
Allison: what’s wrong Philip?
Philip: n-nothing...
Todd: dude you’re acting weird.
AJA: Yeah Philip you should rela--
Philip: how are you still alive?!
(Philip shoots actual Jewish actor again)
Allison: philip stop screaming!
Harrison Ford: yeah, shut up!
Kylo Ren: Oh my gosh! why are you guys so stupid!?
Joker: why so serious?
Kylo Ren: Why so stupid?
(Kylo Ren kills joker)
Harrison Ford: ugh!
Allison: philip! Philip can you hear me?!
Philip: I...I had the weirdest dream……..he-he...
Allison and Todd: we just want to help you Philip.
(Allison and todd move towards Philip)
Philip: No!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Todd: just calm down man…
Philip: No!!! Stay Back!!!
Todd: we just want to help you!
Philip: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ken enters with shotgun and shoots Todd)
Ken: Philip! Get out I’ll take down Allison and Todd!!!
Philip: Ken...I haven’t seen you in…..well………..years...because of--
Ken: JUst Go!!!!!
Philip: Ok but I--
Ken: Go Philip! I should have done this long ago.
(kEN BLOWS HOLE IN THE WALL AND pHILIP RUNS OUT)
pHILIP: SO LONG… OLD FRIEND...
_______________________________________
fROM THE CAPTAIN’S LOG OF pHILIP mALLOY
_______________________
i AM DEPRESSED. aS FAR AS i KNOW, kEN (MY ONCE BEST FRIEND TURNED ROGUE AND TWISTED) IS DEAD AND HIS FINAL WORDS WERE TO TELL ME TO LEAVE. nO! nO! whyyyyyyyy!!! i CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE! i NEED TO FIND OUT HOW TO STOP nARWIN….oNCE AND FOR ALL.
______________________________________
cONVERSATION BETWEEN pHILIP AND THE VOICE
__________________________
pHILIP: nO! kEN! kEN!
vOICE: bE QUIET CHILD.
Philip: Who? Wha?
Voice: I am here to help you!
(Shot is fired near Philip)
Voice: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Philip: Wait. I know that voice!
Voice: Yes it is your doom….. your suspension!!!
Philip: No! It can’t be!!!
Palleni: Yes boy. I have been waiting for this for a long time
( palleni takes out gun)
Palleni: Now prepare to die!!!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 10:
A matter of survival
_______________________________________
Conversation between Philip and lord Palleni
_______________________________
Palleni: Now prepare to die!!!
Philip: I don't need this. I've had way too much of this today!
(Philip attempts to jump on Palleni and fails)
Palleni: stupid boy! You stand no chance!
Philip: no!
(Philip takes out detonator)
Philip: heh!
Palleni: no! It’s not even hooked up to anything!
Philip: it has something to detonate!
Palleni: no!!!
Philip: yes. And you're about to find out what!
Palleni: or will you?
Philip: what do you mean?!
(Palleni shoots Philip with a tranquilizer dart)
Philip: wha? I think I need to sit Dow--
(Philip falls down)
Palleni: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Voice: AAAAHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!
Palleni: child, stay back!!!
Ken: No!
Palleni: you foolish child. You really believe that you can save your friend? I have won. I will now take your friend’s head as my prize.
Mrs. Malloy: DDDIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Palleni: grrrrrrr!!!
(Palleni leaves on jet pack)
Mrs. Malloy: you kids okay?
Ken: I think Phil got hit by a tranq.
Mrs. Malloy: we should get him inside.
Ken: wellllllllll the inside is being destroyed by Todd and Allison…….who sort of…...turned….on us………...and like tried to...murder Philip...
Mrs. Malloy: well I guess we’ll have to go to into the forest.
Ken: where is everyone else? You can't really call yourself a resistance.
Mrs. Malloy: that’s where we’re going. To our secondary base.
Ken: I heard about mr. Malloy. I'm sorry for your loss………
Mrs. Malloy: I know…...the only thing on my mind now is……..revenge.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 11:
Red forest
____________________________________________
Conversation between ken and Philip in makeshift hut
_______________________________
Ken: Philip, are you okay?
Philip: yeah it just…. All went so fast.
Ken: yeah. Your mom saved us.
Philip: what about my dad?
Ken: that’s what I wanted to tell you Philip…..your father is dead.
Philip: wha? Ken, how do you know?!
Ken: I saw it from a distance… I remember the day...
(Flashback)
Pegbot: you fool!
(Mr. Malloy gets shot in torso by pegbot)
(Mr. Malloy falls)
(Pegbots leave)
Ken: mr. Malloy!
Mr. Malloy: ken?! Is that you? I haven't seen you since well… You know
Ken: I know but we need to get you to a hospital.
Mr. Malloy: no use *cough* Narwin will surely finish the job before we get there *cough*
Ken: no! We can't let you die!!!
Mr. Malloy: just tell Philip…….. Tell him………
(Flashback ends)
Philip: what?! What did my dad tell you!?
Ken: he said to quit.
Philip: what?!
Ken: he doesn't want the resistance to go on. He says if you die, it's all over. He doesn't want you to share his fate.
Philip: how long?
Ken: wha--
Philip: how long ago did this happen!!! How long did you wait to tell me!!!!
Ken: seven months.
Philip: seven months! You could have told me!!! You could have saved him!!!!
Ken: no Philip. It was too late for him. You have to accept--
Philip: no!!!
(Philip storms out of the tent)
Ken’s mind: that’s the reason I never joined the resistance…… All the fighting. The bloodshed. All for what? So we can kill one person. So we can wipe her disease ridden face from the earth….but why even try that.
_____________________________________________
From the cAptains log of Philip Malloy
____________________________
Can’t believe ken lied to me. I don't like him anymore. I never did after that incident. Right now all I want is to be alone. And that’s exactly where I'm going. Where I can be alone. I'm going to the center of the forest.
______________________________________________
Conversation between Philip and the forest keeper
__________________________________
Philip: *gasp* stupid ken!
(Loud sound of engine revving)
Philip: The pegbots!!!
(Philip runs in random circles)
Philip: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
Pegbot: surrender Philip Malloy!
Philip: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Philip runs to the center of the forest)
Philip: can't…..outrun….. Palleni’s tranq is still……. Affecting….me.
Voice: calm down Philip.
Philip: who?! Who is that?! I will kill you!
Voice: I am simply the keeper of the forest. Just follow my voice. I will guide you.
Philip: I don't know. Anytime a “voice” comes up it’s usually some evil guy or some idiot seeking revenge.
Voice: no. I will show you your power. Come, we must start our training if you want to save your friends and defeat Narwin.
Philip: okay.
________________________
2 weeks later:
End of training with
Forest keeper
________________________
---
____________________
Fight with pegbot
In the forest
______________________
Pb-194 (pegbot #194 - AKA Peggy): Philip Malloy! Surrender, and there will be no harm!
Ken: run Phil! Go! Go! Go!
Philip: wait.
Ken: what do you mean! Hurry! While we still have time!
Pegbot: philip. Come to the overruling of NARWIN! You will be a great addition to fight against the resistance!
Philip: you know what? See ya ken! I'm going with them. You'll see! You'll all see! This is what happens… This is what happens ken. When you don't tell me the truth! my father could have lived!
Ken: but--
Philip: save it! I'm going with the pegbot! I'll show you revenge! The revenge I've been waiting to let out on you!
Ken: it's a suicide concentration camp! You can't handle what Narwin will put you through! It's brutal slavery with her! She'll… She'll… Torture you!
Philip: goodbye, and tell my mom…
Ken: wha?
Philip: don't give in to you and the resistance…
Ken: phil! Phil! Don't do it! Just reconsi--
(Philip leaves with pegbot)
______________________________________________
Chapter 12:
Philip’s undertake
________________________________
AT SECRET NARWIN BASE
pegbot: we have him emperor.
NARWIN: AHHHH. THE BOY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED. GET READY FOR--
PHILIP: I WANT TO JOIN YOU.
NARWIN: WHA?
PHILIP: THE RESISTANCE HAS GIVE ME ENOUGH JUNK ALREADY, AND THEY’RE NOT LOYAL.
NARWIN: GREAT! ANOTHER RECRUIT! GET TO WORK!
_____________________________
2 HOURS LATER
---
conversation between
philip and miner
_____________________________
PHILIP: she’s out of her mind with these chores! why doesn’t she just have the pegbots do it?! i’m starting to regret this...
miner: it’s not a choice of escape… it’s a choice of survival.
philip: well that’s ‘bout to change…
miner: what are saying?
philip: if we want to escape, we can’t waste time. by tomorrow, i need a paperclip and a brick.
miner: why?
philip: you’ll see.
__________________________________
-11:59 p.m.-
---
east dorm rooms:
conversation in cell 195
between miner and philip
__________________________________
miner: ready?
philip: ready.
miner: what’s your name anyway… i mean besides ‘N.S. 8647’
Philip: i’m philip, but you can call me phil. you?
miner: franco. franco coleman. you can call me frank.
philip: here’s the plan…
you throw the brick at the cell door.
the security guard should come over.
you make up a reasonable excuse for why there’s a brick.
while the guard is distracted, i attempt to open the lock with the paperclip.
i escape and knock out the guard.
i take his taser and we get out.
celebration dance.
____________________________
after the plan
AND DANCE
---
-1:03 A.M.-
____________________________
Frank: thanks, Phil, but...
Philip: yeah I know. We got chained to the wall. Narwin really doesn't trust you after one slip-up.
Frank: if only there was a way...
Philip: I have an idea. And a plan.
Frank: good! What?!
Philip: you may not like it.
Frank: what?!
(Palleni enters)
Palleni: Philip. Are you prepared to swear your allegiance?
Philip: yes
Frank: you’re actually joining them?!
Philip: yes
Frank: why? Why Philip? I thought you were good?!
Philip: enjoy your time being chained to the wall
Frank: no!!!
(Philip and Palleni leave)
Frank: you can't leave me!!!!!!! I will get out of here!!!!!! I've been here 37 years!!!!! You can't hold me!!!!!!!! Yoouuuuuuu ccccaaaaaannnnnttttttt hhhoooooolllllddd mmmeeehhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________________
Ceremony of allegiance
_________________________________
Palleni: today we recognize Philip Malloy as one of our brethren! Our emperor Narwin will give him his certificate of honor! After he completes the trials ahead!
Narwin: failure to complete these trials will result in death……. most likely by the trials themselves. However if he survives the trials and fails to complete them we will hang and stab him for all the crowds to see.
Seymour: I will personally oversee the challenges with my colleagues now that we have united and rule equally together.
Palleni: are you ready boy?!
Philip: I am ready.
Narwin: good you must be.
___________________________________________
Conversation at resistance base
___________________________________________
Ken: why did we turn back?
Mrs. Malloy: we wouldn't have made it. The pegbots would have killed us.
Ken: we need to gather the entire resistance for a meeting.
Mrs. Malloy: i’ll go call them.
Ken: good. We need to go rescue Philip.
________________________________________
From the captain’s log of
ken barchett
_______________________________________
I need to return Philip to his life. The entire resistance will fall apart. The school board is scattered in the outer rim. Mrs. Malloy is the only one here besides me. Coach Jamison and mrs. Stewart are gunning down some supplies. I also guess I’m captain now that Philip is gone so I got my own captain’s log. I hope Philip is okay…….or else we may be too late.
___________________________________________
Conversation between the entire
Resistance
___________________________________________
Coach Jamison: we must act now or all will be lost. We must not win small victories against Narwin--
Mrs. Stewart: but rather we must band together and begin a war.
Coach Jamison: yes. Thank you.
Ken: I agree. Let us put it to a vote.
_________________________________
Vote castings
________________________________
War:
5
No war:
2
______________________________
Continued
Conversation
_____________________________
Ken: okay the vote says we go to war. We are seven highly skilled men and women. However! We still don't have enough resources and troops to start a war on Narwin. She has an army! We have heart. But do we have enough? No!!! But we can get it! In the nebula of death. Bounty hunters. Work for free!!! We can make them our army! We can defeat Narwin!!!!!!!
All: yay!!!!!!!!
Coach Jamison: I agree! Let’s try it!!!
Entire school board: let us go!!!
Mrs. Malloy: yay!!!
Mrs Stewart: me and the coach retrieved valuable weapons from the space junkyard. We got rocket launchers and laser guns! All we need is people to use them.
Ken: then it’s settled to the nebula of death!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 13:
Trial by the nebula of death
___________________________________
The first trial
__________________________________
Philip: I am ready.
Palleni: good. Send in the hounds!!!
( hounds from before come out of gate)
Palleni: if Philip Malloy can kill emperor Narwin’s two rat-hounds he shall move forward to the next trial.
(Palleni hands Philip a lightsword and blindfolds him)
Philip: send them.
Palleni: send the hounds!
(Philip slices hound’s head off)
Philip: ha! So what now Palleni--
(Hound slashes Philip)
Philip: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Philip bleeds)
Palleni: ha! The boy will not survive! As I told you Seymour. He has not the power you spoke of.
Seymour: we shall see.
(Philip stands)
Philip: ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
(Philip slices hounds leg and fails)
Philip: I hate you!!!! I hate you! I hate you!!!!!
(Philip slices hound’s head off)
Palleni: grrrrrr! How that boy aggravates me!
Seymour: he has eliminated the hounds! He must move on to the next trial!!!
_______________________________________
The second trial
_______________________________________
Seymour: he must now battle the space dark- knight! In the space arena! On the space rock of space!
Narwin: why did we name so many things with space?
Palleni: because it is in space….
Philip: just start the trial!
Palleni: get on the teleporter pod.
(Philip gets on the pod and teleports to the space arena to fight the space dark-knight on the space rock)
Philip: i’m ready.
Palleni: good. Kill the boy!
Space dark-knight: he shall die!!!
Philip: aaarrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!
(Philip runs at space dark-knight and cuts his head off)
Palleni: no!!!
Narwin: you get that boy, and you die too!
PALLENI: well I guess I'm dying.
Narwin: no!
Philip’s head: Pal-- Na-- Bu-- i-- I-- uhg--
PALLENI: Philip! Are you? Wah? AHHHH!!!
(Hound attacks PALLENI)
(PALLENI takes out hand pistol)
PALLENI: AHHHH!!!!
(PALLENI screams while firing)
*BOOM* *BooM*
PALLENI: *deep breath* *deep breath*
Narwin: get up here!
PALLENI: yo--
(PALLENI gets attacked by hound)
(Philip Malloy dies)
(Lord Joseph PALLENI dies [again])
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 14:
All for nothing
Allison: finally. That Malloy boy is taken care of.
Narwin: yes.. We have done well ms. DORSETT.
Allison: now to take over take over the world.
Narwin: but first… Bring out PALLENI!
Slave: here he is ms. Narwin.
Narwin: it's emperor Narwin fool!
(Narwin shoots slave in shoulder)
Slave: AHHH!!!
Other slave: shall I cut off lord palleni's head emperor?
Narwin: yeS. And don't make me watch. I'm having lunch after this.
Narwin: 3… 2--
(Explosion)
Bob bobson JR. JR.: AHHHHH!!!!!!
(Bob bobson JR. JR. Takes out machine gun and shoots everybody up)
PALLENI: bob!
Bob: Joe!
PALLENI: what are you doing here?
Bob: let's go! I need your help…
PALLENI: for what?
Bob: they're coming…
PALLENI: who's coming?!?! Why? Huh? Bo--
Bob: it's the Martians.
PALLENI: aliens?!
Bob: you'll see…
PALLENI: what's going on?!?!
*pause*
PALLENI: bob? What is it? What's happening?
Bob: World War 3…
THE END
To be continued in
Nothing But Lies II:
WORLD WAR III