NOTHING
BUT LIES II:
WORLD WAR III
THE EPIC SEQUEL
By JOSEPH D’ANDREA,
STEPHEN RINI, and
JOHN SPRAGUE
DEDICATED TO the COYOTES
IN MR. D’S BACKYARD
introduction:
THE YEAR IS 2053. JOSEPH PALLENI AND BOB BOBSON JR. JR. ARE THE ONLY HUMAN BEINGS ON PLANET EARTH AND THE ONLY HOPE AGAINST THE MARTIANS. UNTIL A GANG OF HUMANS COME THROUGH A PORTAL ON A SPACESHIP CALLED CH-916. TWO PEOPLE GET OFF THE SHIP. They are… grandpa and Roy!!!
Chapter 1:
Grandpa started the fire!!!
________________________
Conversation in washington D.C.
________________
Joe: who are you?!
Roy: we’re the intergalactic crew of B.E.D. inc.
Bob: alright guys!!! Stand back!
(Bob Bobson Jr. jr. attempts to shoot roy)
Grandpa: no! enough!
(Grandpa’s magical wizard powers stop the attack)
Bob: how did--?
Roy: we don’t have much time get in the ship!!!
(Everyone runs in the ship)
Grandpa: i’ll heat up this can of fries…
(Grandpa starts a fire and almost everyone runs out)
Roy: 1….2….3--
Bob: Palleni!!!
(The ship explodes)
Bob: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Roy: we have to go!
Bob: yeah. Our enemies are probably already here!
Grandpa: run you fools!
(They all run)
Roy: get your blasters ready they’re coming up!!!
Martian: we are upon you!!!
(grandpa takes out laser gun)
grandpa: eat dust you--
martian: stop! we come in-- sike!
(martian shoots green acid at grandpa)
grandpa: ahhh!!!!!!! roy! help!
roy: uhhh…. ahhhh!!!!
(roy runs away)
grandpa: i’m dying!!! it’s burning my insides! heeelllppp!!!!
bob: ahhh!!!!!
(bob shoots laser at martian)
(martian explodes)
bob: *HEAVY BREATHING*
GRANDPA: HELP ME YOU PSYCHO!
BOB: FIRST WE HAVE TO GET TO COVER BEFORE ANY MORE ALIENS COME…
(WHOOSH)
BOB: WHAT WAS THAT?!
GRANDPA: IT’S THEM. THEY CAME.
BOB: WHO?
GRANDPA: THE REST OF THEM… TO *COUGH* HELP.
BOB: CAN YOU PLEASE BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC.
GRANDPA: MY FAMILY.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
chapter 2:
the afternoon the bed fell
___________________
-1:09 pM-
PLANET: EARTH
CONVERSATION BETWEEN
THE KENNEDY FAMILY
AND BOB BOSON JR. JR.
__________________
bob: HUH? WAH???!!!???!!!
(SPACESHIP COMES THROUGH ANOTHER PORTAL)
(SPACESHIP LANDS)
Man: give us back our grandpa or face death!
Grandpa: it's *cough* it's okay.
Man: wha?
Bob: hi. I'm general BoB BOBSON JR. JR. Of the ‘40 AGE RESISTANCE. First class.
Man: the wha?
Bob: I'm fighting against the Martians.
Man: nice to meet you BOB J.J. I'm Briggs. Wha happened to our grandpa? Also, you're fighting against who?
*BOOM*
Briggs: our ship!
*BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!*
Martian (to bob): where is the other?!
Bob: he's… Gone.
Martian: then i’ll take you!
(Grandpa takes out pistol)
*BOOM*
(Martian dies)
BRiggs: grandpa!
(2 more people exit ship)
Woman: who’s this clown?
Briggs: General bobson. First class.
Woman: well, hey bob. How's it goin’? I'm captain Gracie shoaf of the B.E.D. Alliance on the planet Rm-224. Our friend Mike is back on RM-224 watching our base.
Bob: Hi. Now we need to get some ship built or else we'll be stranded here to die.
_______________________________________________
chapter 3:
general bob bobson JR. JR.
(first class)
___________________
Briggs: we are so screwed!!!
Bob: calm down Briggs!
(Bob slaps Briggs)
Briggs: Was that really necessary?
Bob: Yes! Now we need to run!
Briggs: Gracie man a cannon from the wreckage of the ship! Grandpa, you need to get that gun ready for the martians! Me and bob here are gonna get ready to build a new ship!
Bob: good idea Briggs.
(3 hours later)
Briggs: we’re almost done
Grandpa: shows what we can get done in three hours or less.
Briggs: what?
Grandpa: Nothing.
(martains fly in on hovering scooters)
Briggs: they found us!!!
Martian: foolish humans. Come let us take you to constable greenface and nobody will be hurt.
Bob: wow nice lie!
(Bob fires a shot to kill a Martian)
Gracie: Run!!!
Martian: Foolish humans
(Huge ship hovers over everyone)
Briggs: the mother ship…
Bob: Run!
(everyone runs with martians chasing them)
(Strange rustling in the bushes)
Briggs: The fourth league of assassins!
Bob: The who?
Briggs: y’know the league of assassins
Bob: yeah
Briggs: this is the fourth one
Bob: SHOOT!
(Assassin shoots bob)
(Bob jukes it matrix style)
(Briggs shoots assassin)
Grandpa: Woah! Nice teamwork!
Gracie: No time!!! There are martians on our back!
(Pew pew pew pew)
(Briggs, grandpa, bob, and gracie lose their blasters)
Martian: oh ho ho! What are you going to do now!?
Mysterious person: this.
(Mysterious person shoots all the nearby martians)
Briggs: woah! Who are you!
Mysterious person: …..im…..
MR. Betts!!!
CHAPTER 4:
THE DISCOVERY
Mr. Betts: wait up!!!!!
Gracie: Thanks so much!
Grandpa: yeah you saved our butts.
Mr. Betts: well if we wanna stay alive we have to kill some of these jerks.
Briggs: Mr.B, can you help me and Bob fix the ship?
Mr. Betts: Sure thing! We need cover though.
Grandpa: don’t worry… he-he.
(Grandpa smirks and wanders off)
Gracie: Well i guess i’ll cover us.
Gracie: (mutters) stupid gramps...
Briggs: you fools, they’ve come!
Bob: how did they find us so fast?!
Mr. betts: no! The tracking chip!
(Mr betts takes out a knife)
Briggs: what?!
Mr. Betts: kid, look away if you don't like blood!
(Mr betts cuts off his finger)
Bob: awww! Sick!!! LITERALLY...
Mr betts: the Martians had a tracking device placed in my finger and my leg.
Briggs: wha--
(Briggs faints)
(Mr. betts cuts off his leg)
Bob: how are we getting out of here?!?!
Mr betts: we don't.
Bob: wha?
Mr betts: we stay put and don't die!!!
Gracie: no! We won't make it!!
Mr betts: I have faith in our elderly friend.
_______________________
Elsewhere
_______________
Roy: no! No! Wha?!
Voice: are you okay?
Roy: *cough* what?
Voice: I revived you. You'll be okay.
Roy: who-- WHO are you?
Voice: I… Can't tell you now. It's not important.
Roy: how long have I been out?
Voice: a few days.
Roy: days!!?! Where am I?!
Voice: you are safe.
Roy: what about the Martians?!
Voice: they’re coming……. But we have time.
Roy: get me my gun!
Voice: I don't think you should--
Roy: get me my gun! Now!!!
Voice: okay….. okay.
(Roy takes his gun from the mysterious figure)
Roy: thanks.
( Roy gets up)
Voice: what's your deal?
Roy: I have to leave. My friends. My family.
Voice: at least take this.
Roy: what is it?
Voice : victory.
Roy: okay. Uh…. Thanks
Voice: start going left. I have a ship waiting for you.
Roy: thanks.
Voice: let me walk you to the ship.
Roy: okay.
(Loud crash)
Roy: what?!
Voice: the sock people.
Roy: the what people?
Voice: sock people. Don't worry they’re friendly.
other voice: hello friends.
Voice: hello socko. We have much to discuss.
Socko: yes let the boy go. His family needs him.
Roy: you're a giant sock!
Socko: yes. My people are being wiped out by these Martians. I have made allies with these humans. They are good creatures.
Roy: where are the rest of your people.
Socko: in my space fleet. They are at war with the Martians.
Roy: I'll help you as soon as I have an army.
Voice: come socko we must discuss arrangements. Considering these recent events.
Socko: yes. Dark times are upon us.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
CHAPTER 5:
The journey
Bob: they’re so close!
Briggs: their ships are almost over the camp.
Gracie: do you think it’s gonna work?
Briggs: it will hold them back… I hope
Mr betts: hold…. Hold……. NOW!!!
(Giant laser shield goes up in front of Martian ships)
Mr. betts: now we wait.
Briggs: look!!!
(Martians start firing at the shield)
Gracie: they can't get through!
Bob: those shields aren't holding.
Briggs: plan B! Plan B!!!
Mr betts: No! We can't! Not yet!
Bob: wait! Listen to me! Okay we still have a chance! Everyone give me your guns!
(mr betts falls)
Bob: wha-?!
Mr betts: blood loss. I'm fine.
Gracie: no you're not!
Mr betts: I need-
Briggs: he passed out!
Bob: we have to run! Now!!!
Briggs: what did you do with-?
Bob: you'll see! Let's go!!!
(Everyone runs into the forest carrying mr betts)
(Martian ships close in and Martians get out. Weapons are scattered on the ground)
Briggs: they're here!!!
(Scattered weapons explode and kill Martians)
Briggs: ha! The ground troops are dead!
Bob: that may have killed some of them but there are still many more.
Gracie: and our weapons are gone!
Bob: they're deploying wave two! Run!!!
Briggs: into the forest!!!
________________________________
In the forest
___________________________
Socko: the Martians are approaching.
Voice: we can never beat them!
Socko: I can summon my best warriors from space.
Voice: but then…. Our space protection.
Socko: we would be letting more Martians in…. For better protection down on earth.
Voice: bring them here.
Socko: as you wish.
(Hours later)
Socko: you are here…. Because you are the best…. You are my strongest sock warriors…. If you fail us now you will be remembered as the miserable filth you are!!! Now get out there and fight!!!
Sock warriors: YEAH! YAY! Etc.
Voice: you know we have no chance right.
Socko: we have a war to fight. NOW GO!!!
CHAPTER 6:
The fall of socko
___________________________
At the giant tree base
_____________________
Socko: it is time.
Voice: I cannot expose myself. Not yet
Socko: the resistance needs you.
Voice: no. Not yet. I can't.
Socko: soon though. You must.
Voice: I….I guess.
Socko: The battle is starting.
Voice: why are they playing the drums?
Socko: it is an ancient ritual among my people that before war we must play drums to signify-
Voice: awwww! Dude the Martians just shot the drummers!
Socko: I must go!
Voice: but-
Socko: they have disgraced my people. They must pay!
____________________________
At the battle site
______________________
Sock-moe: they’re too strong.
Sock-joe: fall back!
Sock-po: AHHHHHH!!!
Martians: you foolish socks! The humans can't even defend themselves anymore!
Voice: hey Martian! What about this!
(Socks throw concussion grenades at Martians)
Voice: hahahaha!!!
Socko: yes! Good plan.
Voice: now for part two!
Socko: yes we must initiate it soon.
Sock-moe: sir we need to run!
Sock-joe: we need to-
(Sock joe is sliced in half)
Socko: SOCK-JOE!!!!!!
Voice: run!!!
(Everyone runs)
______________________________
In the forest
____________________
Briggs: we’re lost.
Bob: we're not lost!
Briggs: didn't we pass that tree already?
Bob: okay we're lost.
Gracie: we should climb the trees and-
(Rustling in the bushes)
Bob: ahhhh!!!
(Roy jumps out of the bushes)
Roy: huh?! Oh hey it's you guys!
Briggs: Roy?!
Roy: where’s grandpa?
Briggs: we don't exactly know.
Bob: Roy where were you?!
Roy: with… This random guy and...and…..some sock dude!
Bob: what?!
Roy: there was this giant sock and he said he was gonna beat the Martians!
Briggs: were you hit on the head?
Roy: no….no….I remember it exactly.
Briggs: where exactly were you?
Roy: hey…...are those Martians?
Bob: where?
Roy: surrounding us……. Right now.
Briggs: get your…...holy crap
Gracie: I told you not to throw our weapons.
Bob: It seemed like a good idea at the time!
Roy: I have a better one!
(Roy takes out a rifle)
Briggs: what is that?!
Roy: a laser rifle!
(Roy shoots the surrounding Martians)
Briggs: woah! Nice shot!!!
Roy: I've practiced. With the best…
CHAPTER 7:
son of the father
______________________________
in the forest
_____________________
socko: you must leave. You have never been safe here.
voice: you need me here socko.
socko: No! you must go!
Voice: Hmmmmm…..Yes maybe it is my time.
Socko: yes. you must go... Philip Jr!
Philip jr: They need me. I will go.
socko: I have had a ship waiting for you.
Philip jr: Wha ship?!
socko: this one…
(BOOM!!!)
pHLIP JR.: WHA THA?
MAN: HELLO SOCKO, YOU’VE CALLED UPON ME. AND MY FLEET.
(VROOM!!!)
(SPACESHIP LANDS)
OTHER MAN: GREETINGS SOCKO. MY NAME IS COMMANDER NR-A-2R. AKA “NARRATOR’.
(MORE SPACESHIPS LAND)
__________________________
5 DAYS LATER
__________________________
WOMAN: Finally… We have the access to all of the resistances contact information.
Man: yes. Now my father will receive revenge.
Woman: (EVIL LAUGH)
Man: ha. Ha. Ha.
__________________________
The ‘40 age
Resistance base
__________________________
Popo Garrett (member of the B.E.D. Fleet): mr. Bobson, we have to flee before they come!
Bob: who? The Martians?
Popo: you’re not afraid of them invading us?
Bob: not r--
(Boom)
Woman: we are here to destroy you!
Bob: no! But-- how? Are you?!?!
(Woman chokes BOB)
Popo: GENERAL BOBSON!
Bob: you are-- our only hope…
Popo: me?
Bob: no. Jim.
Jim halpert: hey guys.
popo: what?
Bob: run jim!
Jim: lolololooooololooo!!!!!
(Jim runs off a cliff)
Bob: you are our only hope…
Popo: oh let me guess! Ken!
Bob: no, you! But Ken is actually a good idea. Ken!
Popo: AHHHHH!!!!
(Popo shoots woman in stomach)
(The woman’s mid-section regenerates)
Man: You. Will. Die!!!!
(Briggs enters room with groceries)
Briggs: hey guys, I'm gonna whip up some burg--*GASP*-- KYLO!
Kylo Ren: Briggs Hefferson. How are you? Just kidding! Die!
(Kylo takes out lightsaber and stabs Briggs)
Briggs: AHHHH!!!!
Bob & POPO: NO! BRIGGS!!!
CHAPTER 8:
The man jack
Briggs: that's not gonna do it this time!
(Briggs stabs Kylo with pocket knife)
Kylo: AH!
(Kylo regenerates)
Briggs: wha tha?
Kylo: oh. You don't know? We're--
(BOOM)
Socko: surrender Kylo!
Briggs: Who the hell are You?!
Socko: I am socko!
(Socko points gun at Kylo)
Socko: I said surrender! Put down the weapon!
Kylo: ha ha ha
Socko: what’s the deal?
Voice: hahahahaha!!!
(Socko is stabbed through the back)
Briggs: who?
(Gunshot is heard)
Briggs: ahhhh!!!
Popo: ugh!
(Popo is stabbed through the chest)
Briggs: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Popo is dying slowly on the floor)
Briggs: who?
The man jack: me!
Briggs: wh- who are you?!
The man jack: I am death. I am fear. I am jack!
Briggs: but your nametag says the man jack.
The man jack: NO! MY NAME IS JACK! JUST JACK!!!
(BOB comes from behind and tackles jack)
The man jack: foolish human
(the man jack stabs bob through the neck)
Briggs: BOB!!!
KEN: hey bob I got your call and- OH MY GOD!!!
Briggs: why are you doing this?!
The man jack: because I must.
Briggs: that explains nothing!
(briggs uses bob’s knife and charges at the man jack)
The man jack: Ha ha ha!
CHAPTER 9:
The portal
Briggs: what?!
The man jack: you have fallen into my trap.
Briggs: where is everyone?
The man jack: dead. You are still alive though. And you are the key to reversal.
Briggs: what?!
The man jack: just kidding. You passed out and they ran away. Now prepare to die!!!
Briggs: what’s that?
The man jack: what was it?
Briggs: that!
The man jack: no what? What are you pointing to?!
Briggs: that!!!
The man jack: what?! What. Is it?!
Briggs: oh nothing it was just a bird.
Briggs: an actual jewish bird!
(Actual jewish actor snipers the man jack in the leg)
Briggs: sniped!
AJA: you are welcome!
(The man jack growls)
Briggs: ha!
(The man jack’s leg completely heals)
Briggs: wha?!
(The man jack slices briggs’ face)
Briggs: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The man jack: hahaha! Now look at THIS!!!
(The man jack sets up briefcase on the floor)
The man jack: if you are still alive at midnight you will see that this briefcase is the end of humanity.
Briggs: I need to find--
(Everyone shows up)
Briggs: everyone….
Roy: you need to look at THIS.
(Massive ship flying above)
Bob: it must be the mother ship.
Gracie: it’s….huge!!!
Narrator: that’s what she said.
(Gracie slaps narrator)
Roy: ow!
Briggs: what’s the plan, where’s socko?
Bob: there’s something you should know, briggs. Socko...he’s gone.
Briggs: he’s dead?! NOOOOOO-
BOB: NO HE’S GONE. NOBODY CAN FIND HIM.
Briggs: what?!
bob: Nobody knows where he went.
Briggs: then what do we do?
Bob: we should run.
Briggs: but that ship is covering the whole sky!
Ken: RUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!
(Everyone starts running.)
Briggs: Wait! everyone follow me!!!
(Everyone runs into the forest)
Gracie: where are we now?!
Briggs: look! its that briefcase!!!
Bob: wha?!
Briggs: We need to take it away from here!
Ken: why?!
Briggs: It’s the end of humanity!!!
(Martians start flying down from the mother ship.)
Gracie: Run!!!
Martian: We are here to eliminate all human kind!
___________________________
At socko’s base
___________________
Socko: Okay guys, so I have this new recruit. His name is hermit.
Merlin: IT IS MERLIN! NOT HERMIT! I AM CERTAINLY NOT A crab!
Socko: sorry, sorry. It seems that he is a wizard and can tell the future. He knows about jack.
MErlin: it is true… I know what he is capable of. I have recruited a team of heroes. They will surely defeat the man you call, “JACK”.
CHAPTER 10:
The recruits
MERLIN: my pal aur--
BOOM!
BooM!
BOOM!
(Socko talks into watch)
Socko: explosion! There has been a massive explosion at base 139! Please come right away!!!
Roy: where's Briggs?!
Briggs: Ha. Exactly…
Roy: br-- br-- Briggs?!
Briggs: I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet.
Roy: WAH?!
Briggs: all of us! We are evil! Grandpa, Gracie, rex, narrator. All except for you. You are no help “Mr. Goodie-tu-shoos”.
Roy: YOU CHOSE A DOG-- WHO CAN’T SPEAK --OVER ME!!!?!?!!!!
Rex: Woof.
Roy: WAH? Wah? Wah!!?!
POPO: Hi. Lolololo. Lolololo. Hi. Lolololo. Lolololooooooolo. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Roy: who are you?!
POPO: I don't know (shrugs shoulders).
Briggs: i am about to release a portal which will allow every person from any dimension to enter our world. Any species! Any spaceship! Anything--anyone!
Merlin: well you can't if you don't have the button!
(Merlin dramatically jumps in air and falls on face)
Merlin: ow.
Briggs: Hahahahahahhaha!!!!
(Briggs pushes button. Portal opens)
Man: ha! Ha! Hahahaha!
CHAPTER 11:
darkness forms
Man: finally! Hahahaha!!!!
Other guy: yes thanos. Finally!
Thanos: Loki, tell the others to come through.
Kylo Ren: thank you for inviting me thanos…
Thanos: no problem, bro.
Darth Vader: hahah-- *Cough* ha.
General grievous: *cough* h-- *Cough* h-- DAMNIT!
Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---
Bane: shut up!
The man jack: hello.
Bane: who you?
The man jack: call me jack… The Man jack.
Joker: WEIRDO...
Dr. Doom: look who's talkin’...
Kylo Ren: you can say that again…
Joker: SHUT UP!
Thanos: cooperate! I am the head villain, and we--
Magneto: hooooold it! Who said you’re the leader?
Thanos: well, com’n! I'm obviously the best fit.
Joker: really!
Thanos: why is he here again?
The Penguin: hey guys! I brought scarecr--
Boom!
Boom!
Old man: get out of my universe! Hahahaha!!!!
(Old man shoots machine gun)
Joker: ah! I'm hit! I'm hhhhiiittt!!!
Scarecrow: joker!? Are you okay?!
Thanos: where are you from and w--
Old man: you will suffer for your conseq--
Loki: take this!
(Loki shoots laser gun at old man)
Loki: WAH? Where is he?
Old man: you cannot stop me intergalactic villains! You don't know what I am capable of!
(Old man absorbs energy)
(Old man shoots/throws it at thanos)
Thanos: ah!
(Thanos is hit by energy)
Thanos: I'm burning! My--
Boom!
Dr. Doom: ha! Take that oldie!
(Dr. Doom shoots more bullets at old man)
Old man: I have weapon-proof attire under my shirt! You don't know what I've been through… I'm always prepared!
Thanos: *cough* who are yo-- ow! I need hel--
Old man: Malloy. Mister Thomas Malloy. Founder of the ‘40 age resistance.
CHAPTER 12:
Another hope?
________________
20 min. Later
________________
_______________________
At socko’s base
_______________________
Thomas Malloy: where is my son!? Philip?! Philip!!!
Socko: who are you and how did you get in here also I am going to kill you random old guy I've never seen before.
(Socko shoots laser)
Thomas: ah!!!
Socko: wait. You know Philip Malloy?
Thomas: I am his dad!
Socko: oh.
-----
Socko: BOB!
Bob: tom! Tom! You’re alive!!!
(Bob hugs Thomas)
Thomas: we have to act quickly! They are going to come!
Socko: w--
Thomas: no time to explain! Just watch…
(PORTAL OPENS)
Superman: where are we?
Captain america: WAH Da--
(ZAP!)
Captain America: owie!
33rd President of the US (AKA 33rd Pres): Take that!
Captain America: Wa-- wh-- are-- WAH-- yo--
Superman: calm yourself!
Nobody Owens (AKA bod): I'm free! Red-white-and-blue guy! Help me! I escaped the graveyard and now they want to trap me and enslave m--
Lord Mayor of London: not so fast nobody [in British accent]!
Honorable archibald fitzhugh: yea! You're not G--
Lord Mayor: don't get so cocky fitz… These guys look like trouble.
Emperor of China: where are we?
Superman: where do you come from?
Fitz: ghûlheim. Do you have a map or GPS or--
Socko: where? Gohl-him?
Fitz: no. Ghoul-heim. It's in a… Well… A… Graveyard.
Socko: who lives in a graveyard?
Fitz: us…
Duke of Westminster: HURRY! Back into the porta-- WAIT!
Lord Mayor: wha?
Duke: socko?
Socko: west?
Duke: socko!
Socko: west!
(Both laughing)
Socko: duke west… Where have you-- how ah’ ya’?
Thomas: how do you know him? And… Good friends?
Duke: *LAUGH* *Laugh* Thomas?
Thomas: duke…
(Duke takes out knife)
Duke: ahhhh!!!!
(Duke runs towards Thomas)
Fitz: get him!
CHAPTER 13:
The graveyard crooks
Fitz: DIEEEEEE!!!
THOMAS:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
(THOMAS TAKES OUT SALAD TONGS)
THOMAS: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
THOMAS: OH WAIT THESE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GUNS!
Fitz: whoops, too late!
THOMAS: NOOOOOOO!!!
FITZ: NOW PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!!!hahahah!
Briggs: not so fast [in cowboy voice].
Fitz: who you?
Briggs: attack!
33rd Pres: you have no chance against us! You are outnumbered!
Briggs: not for long!
Green lantern: Lololloooooo!!!
Hulk: roar.
Thor: roar.
George washington: roar.
Briggs: enough with the roars!
Martin Luther King jr.: attack fellow people! And hulk.
(Everyone runs)
MLK: this is World War III!
______________________________________________
INTROLUDE:
TEAMS COME TOGETHER
The ‘40 age resistance as well as many other heroes from other universes are teaming up to defeat the evil Graveyard Ghouls and other enemies in: WORLD WAR III: A war for the ages. The superhero and “good guy” team consists of:
Good:
General Bob Bobson Jr. Jr.
Commander Philip T. Malloy Jr.
Commander [Mr.] Thomas Malloy
Socko
Sock-Po
Sock-Moe
Roy Walters
Nobody “Bod” Owens (will later join)
Hulk
Captain America
Superman
Green Lantern
Spider Man
General George Washington
Abraham Lincoln
Ben Franklin
Merlin Wizârdo
Popo Garrett
Actual Jewish Actor
Mr. Betts
General Friedrich Von Steuben
General Ulysses S. Grant
Yoda
Mace Windu
Obi Wan Kenobi
Luke Skywalker
Han Solo
Chewbacca
Batman
Dick Grayson (robin)
Martin Luther King Jr. AKA MLK
Iron Man
Barack Obama
King Arthur
Thomas Jefferson
Orville Wright
Wilbur Wright
Steve Jobs
Neil Armstrong
Ronald Reagan
Harriet Tubman
Morgan Freeman
Richard Nixon
john f. kennedy aka jfk
Bad:
Emperor Palpatine
General Grievous
Kylo Ren
Joker
Thanos
Loki
Darth Vader
Jay-Z
Adolf Hitler
john wilkes booth
Justin Bieber
Scarecrow
Honorable archibald fitzhugh
Duke Of Westminster
33rd President Of The United States
The Penguin
Bane
Nute Gunray
General Attor Asertt (AKA alien 1847)
{About 19,000 Aliens}
{About 8,000 Stormtroopers}
{About 190,000 BATTLE DROIDS}
__________________________________________
CHAPTER 14:
A war for the ages
washington: men! get ready!
MLK: AHHHH!!!! WOOO!!!
YODA: CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF, WE WILL.
HULK: ROAR.
EMPEROR PALPATINE: ZAP! ZAP! ZAPPIDY-ZAP-ZAP!
WASHINGTON: UHHH…. GIUYS? CAN WE LIKE, FIGHT OR WHATEVER?
JUSTIN BIEBER: OW!
DARTH VADER: NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO GET A TATTOO!
JUSTIN: HAHAHAHAHA!
boom! boom!
(justin bieber’s head is blown off)
vader: oh well. he wasn’t helping anyway.
washington: troops! attack!
von steuben: mine go right! yours left!
mlk: ahhhhhH!!!!!!!!
abraham lincoln: i shall declare war over-- AHH!
(LINCOLN IS SHOT IN HEAD)
LINCOLN: THE DEJA VU IS OVERPOWERING!!!
john wilkes booth: take that! two points for john, zero points for--
(john wilkes booth is stabbed with a lightsaber by mace windu)
thanos: okay. time to end this.
(thanos takes out infinity gauntlet)
(thanos points towards reality gem)
obi-wan kenobi: no! our realities are brought together by that gem! if he removes it from the gauntlet, we are doomed!
bob bobson jr. jr.: fool! don’t you know that if you destroy the reality gem, you too will be sent back to your own dimension! on top of that, your army will be gone! along with ours!
(bob gestures towards superman, standing behind thanos)
tanos: that’s the point braniac.
bob: now!
(superman throws a punch at thanos)
thanos: think fast!
(thanos punches superman)
thanos: mind gem, it’s your turn.
bob: no!
(THANOS GAINS CONTROL OF SUPERMAN)
thanos: hahahaha!!!!
bob: you idiot! you don’t know what your--
(thanos gains control of bob bobson jr. jr.)
popo garrett: bob! no! who will lead us now?!
---
popo: well i guess if nobody wants to take it, i will lead--
thomas malloy: i will lead us to victory!
popo: com’n!
george washington: who told you that you could be in charge, eh?
thomas: ya wanna go?!
(thomas and george get into fist fight)
nute gunray: battle droids,move out!
fitz: let’s get em, boy!
bod: uh… no.
(bod throws nuke)
Bod: Kobe!
BOOM!!!
(almost everybody is wiped out)
GEORGE WASHINGTON: GO! GO! GET THE GAUNTLET!
GREEN LANTERN: *NINJA NOISES*
(GREEN LANTERN DROPKICKS THANOS)
GREEN LANTERN: I GOT IT!
thanos: n-- *cough* nooo!!!!!
(GREEN LANTERN DROPS THE GAUNTLET)
mlk: THE MIND AND REALITY GEMS MUST GET PUT BACK IN THEIR PROPER POSITIONS!
(BOD PICKS UP GAUNTLET)
BOD: THERE… THEY… go!!!
THE END
To be CONTINUED
IN NOTHING BUT LIES iii: DIMENSIONS COLLIDE