It’s a splendid Saturday morning, regularly on days like this it rains in the afternoon. We are preparing to receive my grandmother Norma and my aunt Bleixen. My dad just went out to pick them up at the bus terminal.
After three hours, finally they got home.
- Oh! Granny, how are you?
- You know baby, with this aches and pains like always.
- Don’t worry granny, here the doctors are going to detect the cause of that aches and pains, and then you’ll feel better.
- Berto, what happened? I see you a little upset. –ask my mom.
- No I’m not upset; I’m just kind of overwhelmed because of the traffic. It’s really crazy to drive in the city, I assumed it would take me only one hour, but it took me almost the double.
- You’re right. Is stressful, and also we have problem with the gas. The price keeps going up and then we have to spend more because of the traffic.
- Ja, ja, ja. And you always say that the countryside is only to relax for a week. I love living there, not much noise and you spend less than in the city.–my aunt intervenes.
- If you’ll excuse, I’m going to rest for a while.-my dad says.
- Go and lie down for a while, I’ll make you a glass of warm milk, so you can sleep well.
- After all, Helen, tell Rigo that he should cut better the bougainvillea at the garden, because they are a little fluffy.
- Who is Rigo? –asks my aunt.
- He’s our gardener. –says my mom.
- I need to talk to him, he got our garden neglected . Sometimes Rigo just disappears.
- Helen, maybe he’s doing other jobs in other houses, you know we cannot always trust this kind of people. –my aunt warns.
- Rigo has been 5 years working for us. He’s really honest and helpful. When we were looking for a maid, he recommended us Maria, and let me tell you that she’s a good maid. So far I have no complains about her.
- Well, I’m just saying. You have to be careful. That thing about doing other works while you are paying him, it’s not right.
- But, Bleixen, we don’t know if that’s true. It’s only an assumption; we have no evidence about that.
Well, Helen, after all this is not my problem. I'm going to check how Massiel have set our mother, she must be tired.
Despite my grandmother's sickness and the problems that I had already, I think we spent a nice weekend. My mom is really happy to have her sister and mother under the same roof, since only a few days ago she spent a week with them.
When I got to the kitchen, Maria had already finished making breakfast, she was alone and I thought: I will question her, this is a good time.
- Maria, do you have a boyfriend?
- Something like that. Why do you ask me that Massiel?
- Just curious, don’t worry. And why do you say: “something like that”?
- It’s because with him I have some limitations.
- Oh! What types of limitations?
- He is a little older than me and also has a family.
- Whaat!? And you’re not ashamed?
- Well, what else I can do? That’s love. We don’t know how or when it is going to touch you, but when it does you have to accept it despite all the consequences.
- Oh! I didn’t know that part of you.
- Miss, excuse me, but… why so much interest?
- It’s just that since you are here almost every day, I thought you did not have time for a boyfriend.
- I do have time, miss. Even more than you think. I attend university, remember?
Wasn't this shameless, telling me this? Inside I just wanted to tell her everything I knew in that moment.
- Well, Maria, I’m just saying if you play with fire, then you'll get burned, you have to be careful.
- That’s true miss, from where I come, people always say that. I know people will criticize me, but I love him, and I know he loves me too.
I started to think… I was about to throw her the hot cream in the face, when…
- Good morning… Oh! This coffee smells good! –exclaimed my dad.
- Good morning, sir.
- What’s wrong, Massiel? I just said good morning.
- I’m sorry dad, good morning. I don’t know what I was thinking.
- You’ve being acting weird in the last few days, everything is ok?
- Yes, Daddy.
- Remember, I am always available to help you with any problem you have. Well, except when I'm deep in the arms of Morpheus. Ja, Ja, Ja!
In my mind I was thinking: “in Maria's arms maybe”. It filled me with anger again when my mom sat at the table and Maria served her. She had no remorse in her eyes. What a shameless girl!
I preferred to get up and go to say goodbye to my aunt and my grandmother, before leaving for school.
My parents will take them later to the hospital, because today the doctors will make some tests to my grandmother.
-------------------------------------
The very next day, after they did some tests to my grandmother, the doctors recommend her hospitalization. My mom and my aunt Bleixen asked for the doctors to attend my grandmother at home, but my dad is opposed, as he believes that she will receive a better treatment at the hospital and better equipment in case of emergency.
But now we have another problem. My aunt Bleixen was called from the factory asking her to return because they have a problem with a trade union.
- Well, sister, I have to go. I’m worried because I know you’re committed to your work, and you asked permission to go to el Valle just for a week.
- Don’t worry, sister, take all the time you need. We will visit her every day. There she will be fine.
- I can stay with my grandmother at night.
- No you can’t. Massiel. This is your last quarter of this period and you need studying, you’re not very well in mathematics and physics.
- Don’t worry! I got an idea. When I get to the factory, I’ll give Pepe his vacations so he can come and take care of grandma. Besides, I want to keep him away from some “friends” he has there. I'm worried, because those boys bring me a bad feeling.
- And those boys… where do they come from? -Asks my mom.
- From here, the city. And I have understood that they are running away from the police. I don’t know what they do. These are rumors there, but nobody messes with that.
- Well, let’s change the topic. –my mom says.
- My niece, thanks for everything and I hope you get along with Pepe.
- Ok aunt Bleixen, take care.
After a few days, when I was coming back from school, there was my cousin Pepe standing at the door with a backpack.
- Hi, how are you little cousin?
- I’m fine Pepe, and you?
- I’m good. Hey, you look like a grownup.
- You thought that I would stay a baby forever?
- More or less.
- You just got here?
- No. I got here 15 minutes ago, but it seems like there’s nobody in the house.
- What? Maria should be here.
- Well, if you say so.
When I was about to ring the doorbell, Maria opens the door.
- Maria, what were you doing? My cousin Pepe has been for 15 minutes knocking the door and you didn't open.
- I’m sorry, miss. I was in the back hanging out the washing. Besides, even if I hear him, I would not have opened the door. I don’t know him, and I didn't know he was your cousin.
- Nobody told you?
- No, miss.
- Now what? Do I look like a thief?
- Don't argue, cousin Pepe. She’s right.
- Please, Massiel don’t call me “cousin Pepe”. I’m barely older than you .
- I’m just being respectful. Besides, you call me little cousin.
- You’re right. But please, just call me Pepe.
We entered the house, and my cousin Pepe was looking at everything. He walked like Puss in Boots.
- Wow! Massiel! Your house is beautiful.
- Do you like it?
- Yes, it’s nice.
- Thank you, Maria will take you to the guest room.
- To the what?
- Come on, Pepe, “the room where you are staying”.
- Oh! Now we talking, Massiel.
- Pepe, is it true that now you hang out with some hoodlums friends?
- Well, well…now I see, my mom was here to gossip.
- You should not talk about your mom that way. Besides, I’m waiting for the answer.
- And who are you to tell me what to do?
- You’re right. It’s not my problem; just don’t run to my parents if you get in trouble.
- Don’t worry, baby. I know how to defend myself..
- Sure! At 23 years old, you must have all the experience of the world.
- Will you show me the room or what? You’re talking too much.
- Maria is waiting to take you; it is you who is talking too much.
- Very funny, little cousin.
Several days passed and my grandmother was still at hospital. My mom realized that her nephew Pepe was not taking care of his grandmother Norma at the hospital because he was absent every time she went to visit her.
My mom talked to my aunt Bleixen and they decided that it was better for Pepe to get back home.
A few days later my mom had to make an urgent business trip to Costa Rica for the whole weekend. This happens regularly. My dad went to leave her at the airport. I was in class and could not go.
Later that night, I was watching a movie with my dad, and I did not realize when I fell asleep.
On Saturday, very early, I heard a gentle knock on the door. It was my cousin Pepe, I thought maybe he wanted to say good bye before leaving.
- Hi, cousin Pepe. You’re leaving?
- Come on! Why do you keep calling me “cousin”?
- Just an habit.
- Yes, I’m leaving. But first, I need to tell you something.
- What? What is it?
- Last night I went to the kitchen to get some ice, because I wanted to have a few beers in my room and guess what I saw?
- I don’t know...your shadow?
- Ja, ja, ja. Your housemaid Maria.
When I heard that, I didn’t know what to say, if Pepe has found out the situation, that would be terrible.
- And what did you see?
- First, I heard some noises, and then I turned off the lights and hid under the table to see who would come out of the room.
- And what happened?
- I had to wait like two hours there under the table; I was almost asleep, when I saw a guy coming out of the room.
My cousin Pepe looks at me suspiciously, but also with irony. I’m pale.
- Do not panic little cousin, the only thing I can tell you is that… his name ends with “berto”. Ja, ja, ja.
- Pepe, wait. Don’t do anything crazy. I am also aware of this situation. But I want to ask you a big favor, you’re leaving today, please don’t tell this to anybody.
- Why?
- Just don’t do it, nobody had to know this, it would be a disgrace to our family.
- Disgrace? I don’t understand.
- Yes, a big one.
- But I don’t understand. it’s no big deal.
- No big deal? Are you crazy?
My cousin Pepe looks at me amazed, but with a very mischievous smile. I cannot trust him.
- Look, Massiel, you’re seventeen, so you must know what’s good or bad. At your age, there are many girls working at night clubs. So, you’re not a baby anymore.
- What you mean by that?
- It’s simple. I had thought about leaving, but since my aunt went traveling, I decided to stay until she gets back to say goodbye.
- You are wretched; I don’t want you to tell anything to my mom.
He starts walking in circles, looking at the roof. His face is starting to show a mischievous smile, as if he had discovered something, and then he laughs.
He approaches to me and grab me strongly. I cannot get rid of him, he’s too strong, then he whispers slowly in my ear:
Listen, Massiel. If you want me to keep this secret, you’ll have to be very good with me.
- What? What do you want?
- The same thing Maria was doing with Berto, you’ll have to experience it with me.
- You’re completely insane!
- Well, you’re right. I’m crazy, the choice is in your hands and I want your answer now, I have no time to waste.
I’m in shock; I don’t know what to do. I just want to run and scream very loud and my heart starts beating very fast. What happens with my cousin Pepe, he has become insane? What I’m going to do? Oh my God!
- Massiel, I don’t have all day, I need your answer now.
I cannot answer, I’m thinking and wondering: what should I ruin? My life or my family? I have to make a decision. My mind is running crazy and he is just there, looking at me with a triumphant smile and rubbing his hands. My mom loves my dad. I don’t want to see her suffer, my family would crumble and then what would happen to me?
- Well, Massiel, I’ll have to start telling everything to my aunt, everything that is happening in this house, I don’t care. Do you hear me?
- No, no, no. Please, Pepe, wait. I’m thinking. This is madness.
- Madness, Massiel? Letting everyone know, that would be madness. Oh! You didn’t call me “cousin”, I like it.
- Ok, I’ll do it. But you have to promise not to tell anyone and never return to this house.
- No problem with the first request little cousin, however, with the second one I cannot guarantee that. Anyway, you have made a smart decision. Leave your door open; I’m coming at midnight when everyone is sleeping.
Without looking at his face, I ask him to leave the room.
- At midnight, remember. -he says while leaving.
I avoided him during the rest of the day. When dinner was ready, I convinced my dad that I was sick; I did not want to be near my dad either.
It was about 11 pm and I could not sleep. I was looking at the stars, hoping that one of them could take me out of here. I knew that the decision I made was going to ruin my innocence, but I prefer that rather than destroying my family, especially my mom and of course my dad, which is a well-regarded doctor in the neighborhood.
It was raining again that night. I was shaking, but not because I was cold. With my tears I could flood the backyard. Just like that night when I saw my Dad and Maria.
I am remembering that night, when I hear someone opening the door; he gets in and lock the door. Now I know that I’m alone with him. I can’t see, it’s too dark, I just feel someone coming smoothly into my bed. He, Pepe, my cousin, who is supposed to be my protector, because I don’t have a brother, now is in my bed with other intentions. I’m scared, now I can see his face slowly approaching… and then he kisses me. I immediately feel the smell of cigarette and rum. Now all I feel is disgust and repugnance. With every touch and kiss, hate starts growing inside me. I just know that he will pay for this with his life, in one way or another. I will never ever forgive this.
I woke up late. I feel very tired because of the resistance I put last night, but I had to give in. Someone knocks the door, I’m very nervous.
- Massiel, Massiel,
- I’m coming dad. – I reply.
- The school bus is here, why are you not ready?
- Oh, dad! Tell them I’m not going to school today.
- What’s wrong? Are you sick?
- Maybe.
- Then I will call the doctor.
- No, no. Don’t call him. I feel better now, I’ll get up. Can you drive me to school?
- Yes, but hurry up, I’m late. I see you didn’t want to go to school today…
- Something like that, Dad.
- Again calling me “Dad”? I don’t know what’s happening to you lately.
There was a long silence in the car…
- Why you don’t want to talk? Still feeling bad?
- No daddy, I’m just thinking…thinking.
- At your age, what do you think so much about?
- Many things. Young people also have problems.
- Is there any problem that I don’t know?
- Don’t worry. The problems are to be solved, and I have to start solving them myself..
I don’t want to ask him anything about my cousin, which from now on will simply be “Pepe”, because he doesn’t deserve to be part of my family.
I knew he was still at home, because he always gets up late. I hope he keeps his word to never come back again.
All this should never have happened. But life goes on, and I have to be strong and go forward. Despite everything, my family looks happy and that’s most important to me. The price was too high…I lost my innocence.
From now on I will be very picky about men, because there is a saying: “fair pay for sinners”, so be it.
It’s been a while and my grandmother Norma is recovering at home in El Valle. Once every fortnight she comes here with my aunt Bleixen, for treatment.
Also Pepe has kept his promise. That’s fine for me, since I’d rather not see him anymore. I would not like to be in the women’s prison for murder at such a young age.
But, what has no changed is this hate I feel inside me. I’m surprised how I changed from being a good girl, and now I feel this thirst for revenge. It’s a feeling I had never experienced before. I’m looking forward to the day of my revenge.
I have decided to never fall in love. I still feel that torture; it’s a grudge I cannot get out of me.
Having lost my innocence so early, I know that I will feel temptations, but I must be strong.
Time flies and my body is changing, I’m growing up and therefore my woman’s intuition is also developing.
I must avoid being attracted or tempted by any boy, and the only way I find is to play and trick that feeling, to avoid falling in love.
I have a lot of “admirers”, guys who want to be my boyfriends, I don’t know. Perhaps to pass the time or maybe something serious, but I enjoy seeing them desperate to talk to me. They send me gifts; I’ll take them, but never send a reply. They just don’t know what happened to me. Now I only think about making fun of them, I want to despise them, watch them cry and suffer for me.
Time flies and does not stop. At seventeen I have played with the feelings of many guys, they are so dumb; they just see my body and a pretty face, but do not see the resentment I have inside. They are just like animals; the only thing they think about is satisfying their hunger for sex. I've become a torturer, so much that I'm thinking of studying psychology just to improve my techniques.
Regularly I’m alone, but I don’t care. The other girls envy me because the boys want to talk to me, others girls say I’m crazy just because I dismiss the boys they want.
I know I’m not a regular girl, I don’t smile, and I’m always alone. But nobody knows my reality. Men are like wild wolfs, always on the lookout for a prey. That’s why I should always be alert. I have to play smart, because the favorite prey of these wild wolfs is us, girls, and what better bait than ourselves to make them suffer.
Despite all, I could pass the previous year, and am now in twelfth grade. In this group I met two girls. They are the only friends that I have.
- Hi Massiel, how are you?
- I’m fine Rebecca. And you?
- I’m fine. Like always. Where’s Liz?
- She’s over there. Can you see the guy talking to her?
- Yes, sure.
- He’s declaring his love; he’s in love with her.
- Yeah right! He is a Liar!
- Why?
- You’ll see, Rebecca.
- Here comes Liz!
- I’m so happy to see you, Massiel. How are you?
- I’m worried Liz, and you?
- I’m fine and happy, very happy.
- Oh I see… you’re an idiot.
- Why do you say that?
- Because I know why you’re happy. Rebecca told me about that guy declaring his love. to you
- You know him?
- Let’s see, his name is Ricky, he’s from the science group, his girlfriend is Irela from eleventh grade, and last week he told me that I was the girl of his dreams, and that he wanted to me my boyfriend.
Rebecca starts laughing her lungs out.
- Wow, Liz! What an admirer you have! JaJaJa. –Rebecca says.
- Really, Massiel? Now I see why he suddenly got nervous and told me that he had to go, and we still have 10 minutes of recess!
- Now you understand me? Never believe what a boy says, you have to play smart. Just let they think that we believe them, so we can gain time to find out who they really are.
- Well Liz, your happiness did not last long.
- Yes, he really said he loves me, and I believed that moron. He deceived me. I was going to be the laughingstock around here.
- And also “the other”.
- You’re absolutely right, Massiel. –admits Liz.
- Hey girls, why don't we become the nightmare of these guys? We are beautiful, we have attractive bodies… It’s the only thing they are looking for. Let’s be the bait. We’ll have fun, when they think they will have us we will break their hearts into pieces. What do you think?
- How do you know it would be like that? –asks Rebecca.
- Look, men are fishers, it’s part of their nature. Then is very simple, we are the bait, when they catch us, they will pull us to them and sometimes they will let us go a little just to delude. They like to play. But one day, they will try to eat the prey. Ok? At that moment we have to attack! When they are hungry.
- Why? And how do we know when they are hungry?
Simple, Rebecca. Just look at their eyes, their look will betray them. That’s the moment when we attack, when they think they got us.
Rebecca and Liz are coming to my house today, and I will take the opportunity to talk about what Randy told me the other day.
- Ok, I have something to talk about with you girls.
- What is it? Massiel. –ask Liz.
- Randy told me that his two best friends Diego and Lionel are interested in you girls, what a coincidence, right?
- So what? Ricky just broke up with me, so I’m in “mourning”. Rebecca is single, she can choose one.
- Well, actually Lionel doesn't look bad.
- See? And you Liz? Are you willing to go out with Diego?
- Sure, no problem.
Liz remains silent and thinking, but without giving much importance to the issue. It seems that her mind is around another galaxy.
- Look, Liz. I invite both of you; because I told Randy that I would help his friends, to be with you girls.
- What? Massiel, are you crazy? Without asking us before? –exclaimed Liz.
- That’s exactly what I’m doing now. I have a plan and it is precisely because of what Ricky did to you. Remember what we talked about men, Ricky broke up with you because of what? Nothing! He maybe just got tired of you. Right now he should be with another girl. That’s what men do.
- What’s your plan? Asks Rebecca.
- Simply go along. Let’s play their game, and then we break their hearts. Liz, remember what I told you about Ricky? Look what happened to you.
- You’re absolutely right, Massiel. Someone has to pay. –Liz replies.
- I also agree. They want to play with us? Then we'll go along.
- Well spoken, Rebecca.
- So, Liz… you take Diego, and Rebecca goes for Lionel.
- Diego or Lionel. Either will suffer.
- Listen, Liz. That’s nothing compared to what happened to me.
- And what happened to you? Come on, Massiel, tell us.
- No. Someday I will tell you. But not yet. You girls still have not earned the right to know.
Liz and Rebecca just crossed their eyes, without making any comments.
As soon as Liz and Rebecca leave my house, I decided to call Randy to give him the good news. Of course… my idea has also other purposes.
- Good night, Randy. How are you?
- I’m fine, and you? I thought you would call me later as always, are your parents at home?
- Yeah, but I cannot wait until tomorrow to give you the good news that Liz and Rebecca are also attracted by Diego and Lionel.
- Wow! Bingo!
- Why “bingo” Randy?
- Uhh… well “bingo” because my friends will be sooo happy!.
- Alright! Go and tell your friends that now is up to them.
- Ok, but tell me, who goes with who?
- Liz and Diego, Rebecca and Lionel.
- Ok, that’s fine.
- But let me tell you something, my friends are not like those silly girls who faint for them at school. They are problematic. Do not think they are going to reap without sowing. Know what I mean?
- No problem. I understand. My friends are good. None of them are like Ricky.
- Precisely one of the problems Liz had with Ricky was that, he always bought to her fried foods and cheap things to eat, also his gifts were from a cheap store.
- Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, Ricky never has money.
- Well, I hope your friends are different. If not, I’ll make sure they leave my friends right away.
- Calm down, are you the boss or what?
- Then, why did you ask for my help?
- All right, Massiel. You’re right. You win.
Everything is fine and the plan is going well. Regularly, we go out for a stroll, the 3 couples together. Randy and his friends all have motorcycles and they are crazy. We always drive at high speeds, it’s crazy.
My parents don’t know that I have a boyfriend. The good thing is that they know the parents of Liz and Rebecca, so I have no problem when I ask to go out with them.
Also, we have focused on keeping good grades, to avoid problems or blames from our parents. But I’m actually slack in two subjects.
I have the impression that my dad is being good with my mom, because I have not noticed anything strange in the house lately. Thank God my mom has not gone traveling.
Everything seems to be fine in my house, and also with my friends. We are killing two birds with one stone. My friends and I have our boyfriends in our hands already, plus we have the other girls from school jealous and envious. Now, Liz has planned a party where we are going to have so much fun, and especially with something that we are preparing.
- Good morning, Massiel.
- Good morning, mommy. Where’s my dad? Is he being good?
- Yes, of course. Why do you ask me that?
- Actually, I don’t know.
- You have to stop watching those soap operas on television, where all the drama revolves around infidelity.
- You’re right, mom. Changing the subject, on Friday Liz will have a small party in her house after school. Then, I’ll call you to go and pick me over.
- All right, you already know, you have until 10, no more.
- Sure, mommy. No problem.
I had already agreed with Liz and Rebecca to meet in a coffee shop near the school.
- All right, girls. We all here on time.
- Yes! We are eager to know the end of the plan for Friday. –says Liz.
- Well, you know that they are desperate to digest these 3 little mermaids they have. So, we will show them that they may have that opportunity, because we will drown in their arms.
- Are you crazy, Massiel? –exclaims Rebecca.
- Did you listen to me? I said: “that they may have” it’s not a reality. Understood?
- Oh! Yeah, yeah.
- Good. They think the other guys who are going to the party are from the school. So, they are going to feel like a fish in the water.
- So, Massiel. What you suggest?
- Let’s invite other boys they do not know. Handsome boys, and if they are older than them, its better. That would make them shake like babies.
- You think? Randy, your boyfriend, it’s very proud.
- I know, Liz. So are Diego and Lionel, but don’t worry.
- So, what’s the plan?
- Liz, you have to ask permission for a party, just until 10. Rebecca, you have to tell your dad that my mom is going to take you home, so we can leave together.
- No problem. –replies Rebecca.
- The plan is simple. We just have to make them think that the party is all night long. If they have more time, there are more chances, that’s what they think!
- Ha, ha, ha.
- Besides, we should be a little too friendly with the other guys, to make them jealous, and you will see how they are going to change their unbearable ego.
- It’s a good plan, I hope they don’t get mad and start fighting.
- Don’t be so silly, Rebecca. Nobody is going to fight. That flirting, it’s just an appetizer. The sharp blow is when they see us leaving at 10, ruining all their plans.
- I can imagine their faces. Ha, ha, ha. –says Liz.
It’s Friday, the day of the small party we have planned. We’re having a great time. It’s a beautiful night and we have colored lights that illuminate the backyard of the house.
We are listening to some music, and eating some snack prepared by Dayra, the maid. From time to time, Liz brings me some shot of vodka, from her father's mini bar. With this drink, my mom would not detect my alcoholic breath. I started drinking after the incident with my cousin pepe.
We are all talking when, suddenly 3 handsome boys appear. Liz gets up quickly and says:
- Jorge Luis! You came!
- Off course I’m here! Liz, this is Alejandro and David, two friends from the university.
- Nice! Come in; I’ll introduce you to the others.
So, she starts to introduce people. I’m last, next to Randy, I watch him and I get the impression that he is not pleased with the arrival of Jorge Luis and his friends. But men are very different from us women, they will never accept it.
Liz is almost here to introduce her cousin and friend, and Randy tries to pull me somewhere else, but I refuse. He does not like it at all, but he cannot say anything, because the people are already here.
- Massiel, this is my cousin Jorge Luis and his friends, Alejandro and David.
- Hi, nice to meet you. Oh! This is Randy…
And so they completed presentationsl, everything was fine and the people were having a good time.