MEMORIES – A DIFFERENT WORLD
Marie Covil Horne
Born on Saturday night, April 9, 1932, I entered into a world very different from today. My childhood neighborhood was a little village called Kirkland about ten miles north of Wilmington on Highway 17. My mom said that I weighed almost twelve pounds and she was sure that I was a ten months baby! My older half sister Anne had her first child, Shirley, five days later and Shirley and I have always been close. Shirley remembers being told that she was born in a hospital and thinks I was too, but I am not sure. It must have been hard for my Mom to give birth to such a large baby!
I was the youngest of six living children. My “half” siblings were in order of their birth, Victor, Anne Lila, and Ellis. Their mother was my dad’s first wife ( Hattie Lavada Canady ) who died in the flu epidemic during the First World War. My “whole” siblings, Elmo and Elizabeth and I were all children of my dad’s second wife, Nellie Kathleen Gornto Covil. Two others (Percy Leon and Miriam) who did not survive, came between Elizabeth and me. One died as a toddler and one soon after birth. I think that made my Mom very protective of me. She said once that she thought when I was born that “this one will stay with me.” She was thirty-five and dad was fifty-five when I was born. While growing up, I felt almost like an only child because all of my siblings had left home and my closest one, Elizabeth, was eight years older than me. My parents were older than those of most of my friends; they felt more like grandparents than parents.
Ours was not an openly affectionate family. I never saw any hugs or kisses until after I would come home for a visit, having gone away to college and then to Raleigh where my husband Tom and I lived for a few years. My brother Elmo who was ten years my senior was an exception; I can remember him carrying me around on his shoulders when I was quite young, and have one memory of sitting on my mother’s lap and liking it very much but it did not last very long. I am sure Mom had many duties waiting for her attention. She cooked three meals a day “from scratch”. I remember having huge breakfasts. We often had seafood. Or we had eggs, grits, home made biscuits, fruit in season and good country ham which my dad cured in his smoke house. I remember asking why we could not have bacon instead of ham like other people! (Now, I would love to have some of that good ham.) In the middle of the day we would have “dinner” consisting of fresh fruits and vegetables and once or twice a week we would have chicken, roast beef or seafood. Our evening meal consisted of left-overs and was called “supper”.
I wish I knew more about my ancestors; they must have influenced my outlook on life through my parents as well as giving me some of my physical features, but my grandparents all died before I was born. I know almost nothing about them but remember being told something about my Covil ancestors coming over from Scotland and that there were five brothers who came south from New York and settled in NC and SC. My paternal grandparents were Francis and Elizabeth Covil. Both my Covil and Gornto grandfathers were civil war veterans. In the North Carolina Archives, I found copies of their applications for a pension after the civil war. It was amazing to me to see their own handwriting! My maternal grandparents were Frank and Sarah Gornto. Frank was Sarah Taylor Gornto’s second husband. I am not sure but think her first husband’s last name was Marine. I have a letter that Sarah wrote to Frank before they were married, “fussing” at him because apparently he liked to drink and she did not approve.
Dad (Lewis A. Covil), encouraged by my sister Elizabeth, wrote a story of his life. He talked about his mother’s death when he was living in Richmond, trying to make a living. He was
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“heart broken” that he did not get the news until after her death. My oldest brother, Victor, also wrote about his experiences, being a young man in the Great Depression. Dad’s family (Covils)
lived in a small village (Marines) located in Onslow County on the New River. He had a large family – five or six brothers and one sister survived. His sister, my Aunt Lila and her husband Ed, had a general store that served the community. As far as I know, they never had any children. Dad’s family members were farmers, musicians and merchants. Dad’s first wife (Annie) died during the WWI influenza epidemic, leaving him with three small children. He needed someone to care for his children and Mom, who was twenty years younger than he, needed someone to care for her financially and so they were married. I think they came to care for each other over time. Dad was a farmer and business man with a small farm which he later operated with tenants. He opened a small country grocery store and gas station on Highway 17, about 10 miles north of Wilmington. At the time, that was the only store between Wilmington and Jacksonville. One of Dad’s brothers later opened a competing grocery and service station next door! But both stores survived and stayed open for business until my dad died at age 91.
Dad’s Philosophy: I don’t remember either of my parents ever being angry with anyone except Mom would get aggravated with Dad at times. Being a cheerful man, Dad would say “Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone”. He was a deeply religious man who liked to visit all of the churches in the surrounding area, later in life he settled on the Baptist Church at Ogden. It was not unusual to see him reading the Bible in his store to pass the time between customers. An interesting conversationalist, he often raised deep questions about topics such as the theory of predestination. He asked how it could be that if God knows everything that is going to happen, then isn’t this predestination and therefore, do men have a choice? I never had a good answer for him. But, I think he had a deep faith in God. He was very intelligent and liked to think deeply and stimulate conversation to see what people would say. He did not take things for granted.
Dad and children: He loved children but did not know how to interact with them without making them cry! Mom used to fuss at him about this. I have two early memories that I treasure. When I was a toddler, he took me to a family Halloween party. I can barely remember the party but definitely remember him holding me up in his arms. When I was about ten, he took me to see the movie “Gone With The Wind”. Our family almost never did typical “recreational things” except, on Sunday afternoons we would go for a ride to Carolina Beach. Or we would go to visit with Anne’s family and I enjoyed being with Shirley, Joyce, and Maxine and loved it when they came to see us. On Christmas afternoon after everyone had left, Mom, Dad and I would go to a movie. It always felt a little lonely when my siblings were all gone.
Mom: Nellie Kathleen Gornto: Mom had two brothers – her twin, Percy, and her younger brother, Leon. They were also residents of Marines which was located on the site of the current marine base known as Camp Lejeune. Her father died when she was ten years old (don’t know the cause) and her mother died when she was eighteen so the three siblings were left on their own. People in the small community lived off the land, growing vegetables, hogs and chickens and by catching seafood from the nearby New River. They were very self-sufficient. If
faced with similar conditions today, I am not sure I could survive. My cousin Wayne Gornto (Percy’s only child and now deceased) had a really old sewing machine and says he was told that our Gornto grandfather used it to make sails for his boat. My sister, Elizabeth says that our Mom told her about our grandmother’s death – she was in severe pain and lay screaming in her bed
until her screams became too weak to hear and there was nothing they could do for her. No medical care was available to them in that situation.
Mom’s Adulthood: She was a housewife and true helpmeet to my dad. She cared for her children, made most of our clothes, kept house, cooked, raised chickens and sold eggs to have a little spending money. She helped operate our store which was located next door to our house. During World War II, she took in boarders, two or three men who shared one of the bedrooms upstairs. She had many talents: she did beautiful handwork (crochet and embroidery), simple carpentry work, and did not hesitate to re-wire an electric lamp! Mom taught herself to play the piano and harmonica by ear. Her playing was primitive but it is remarkable to me how she learned to read music (with shaped notes) without being taught. I believe my brother Elmo and I inherited musical abilities both from her and from Dad’s side of the family. Elmo could play a number of instruments “by ear” including the violin, guitar, organ, and piano. One of my uncles (Uncle Lema) played the “fiddle” by ear and one of my male cousins (Sonny Covil) had a good voice and loved to sing. Often on Saturday night, my uncle, my brother Elmo and several neighbors would gather at my Dad’s country store to talk and play country music and hymns.
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES:
When I was very young, we did not have electricity but dad had installed a generator that provided lights for the store and our house next door. We did not have indoor plumbing until I was probably five or six years old. I can remember when we had a water pump on the back porch and had to use an outhouse. When we finally got indoor plumbing it was a major event!
Primarily, I remember long, peaceful (yet boring) thirteen weeks of summer when school was out. I rode a bus to school in Wilmington all twelve years. Living out in the country, I had no chance to spend time with my school friends when school was out so I often told my mom that I was bored, and became a bookworm. She offered to relieve my boredom by suggesting housework that needed to be done! Naturally, I did not consider that very enticing but hope I did some chores! I do remember that I always washed dishes after meals. I helped in my dad’s grocery store from time to time and got lots of practice in adding up long columns of figures without a calculator to compute someone’s grocery bill. My dad’s store was interesting – he sold a wide variety of items. I can remember round cheeses, penny candy, meat, kerosene, gasoline, cookies such as “moon pies”, cold soft drinks, groceries, and many other things. He never sold beer and never opened the store on Sunday, but it was open the other six days. During the Depression, he continued to extend credit to many families in the area including those who lived in the African American neighborhood up the road. During the summer I worked “in tobacco” helping neighbors whose tobacco had to be “put in” -- picked, tied on sticks, and placed in hot barns. I was a “hander” who made packets of leaves to be tied on the sticks – cannot remember how much money I made but I am sure it felt like a good amount at that time. One of the highlights of this work was being served cold slices of ripe watermelon – nothing ever tasted so good on a hot day! It was fun working with others, talking and laughing, but the work was very dirty. I especially hated it when an unsuspecting tobacco worm turned up! My first clerical job was working one summer for Wilbur Taylor who was married to one of my cousins. He had a big fireworks business and I remember he taught me how to write a check. When I was sixteen my Dad taught me to drive in our pick up truck with the gear shift on the floor. That was quite an experience! Driver education in the schools did not exist at that time. I was happy when we finally got a car instead of the truck – dad had used the truck to go into Wilmington to buy groceries for the store and he would always bring me some bananas. After getting my driver’s
License I was allowed to drive the car when I wanted to go somewhere and often drove myself to the small Methodist church in Scots Hill where I played an old pump organ for services.
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After starting high school, I wanted to take part in after-school activities such as clubs but this was difficult because the school bus did not wait past the regular 3:15 p.m. dismissal time. However, my sister Elizabeth and her family lived in East Wilmington and I often stayed after
school and then caught a city bus out to her house and spent the night with her. I treasure this memory. Also, about this time my mom bought a used upright piano for me and I started taking music lessons. I wish I could thank her for this opportunity as I have enjoyed playing the piano ever since. I also enjoyed singing in the “Glee Club” in high school and have subsequently sung in church, college, and civic choirs all of my life.
I had been elected as Vice-President of my senior class, graduated in 1950, and won a scholarship that made it possible for me to attend “WC” as it was known then -- Woman’s College of the University of NC in Greensboro. I was the first one in the extended family to attend college. Victor’s son, Jim, was the first one to graduate from college. I spent one year at WC, majoring in music but got discouraged and dropped out, started dating Tom Horne and we got married in December 1951. Over the years I felt I had missed something important by not finishing college and started taking classes until I was in my early fifties when I earned a Bachelors Degree in Social Work from East Carolina University. Early in our marriage, Tom and I lost our first baby boy but later adopted Beth and Rob. They have blessed my life and I am so thankful to have them. Tom and I were divorced when they reached their late teens but we remained friends and helped each other until he died in December 2008.
CLOSING THOUGHTS:
I am very thankful to have been brought up as part of a wonderful family in a peaceful rural neighborhood where we knew everyone for miles around. We never had to lock our doors! Even though my family was not openly affectionate, I felt secure and cared for by them and my extended family including many aunts, uncles, and cousins. Being the youngest of all my cousins as well as my siblings, I have outlived most of them. At this point (August 2011), I have only one sister left (Elizabeth) and she has Alzheimer’s. But I am very thankful for numerous nieces and nephews as well as my two children (Robert and Beth) and my grandson, Justin. Several of my nieces and nephews stay in contact with me by phone calls, letters, email and Facebook. Rob is 47 years old, has autism, and lives in a supported living home with two other autistic men and full time staff but comes home every weekend to see me and his beloved cat! I enjoy having him at home and appreciate his help around the house. He attends a wonderful vocational program called Creative Living, functions well, is able to do a lot of things and seems to be happy, although it is difficult for him to carry on a conversation. Beth is married to Kurt, has full time job with the state Department of Environment and Natural Resources, and is a very good mother to her only child, Justin. Beth and Kurt both have demanding positions. I am thankful that they live near Garner and I see them often and frequently get to spend time with my grandson. I now understand how people feel so deeply about their grandchildren! They are wonderful!
I am thankful to have been blessed with many wonderful people in my life. But there is no question about it. I grew up in a different world.
D9:MEMORIES