FOREWORD

This 3^rd edition which is an English translation is a result of the request by Elizabeth Rebello (Simi, daughter of Mathew George, and grand daughter of Mr. N.X George) after she and her husband had an emotional and heart- warming visit to her grand uncle ‘s tomb in Edinburg, Scotland in 1999. Having her father Mathew George (Mathachen) named after this courageous and ambitious grand uncle who’s memorable story depicting this book” SODHARAVILAPAM”was fascinating to her. Born and brought up in America and not able to read Malayalam she kept asking her parents to translate this masterpiece into English for children of her generation and for the future generations to come. As a result, during COVD 19 of 2020, Valsa George (her mother and Mathachen’s wife) took up this challenge. Though she started this project several years ago, its completion was made possible during their yearly short visit and stay in their flat in Ernakulam which prolonged to more than 8 months due to the Locked down and travel ban of this unexpected pandemic...This very difficult translation of poetic and classic Malayalam manuscript was completed only by God’s Grace and with the help of Rev.Sr Glorista SABS, of the Adoration congregation and a long- time friend. I am very grateful to Sr. Glorista for her expertise and help.

After her nostalgic visit at the tomb of her grand uncle, N X Mathew in 1999, Elizabeth (Simi) urged her father Mathachen and mother Valsa to visit the cemetery in Edinburg.

After retirement, in June 2012 it finally happened. As Simi experienced the warmth and love of that hilly place, we also felt as we witnessed a part of our own family lying under that beautiful valley while the gentle breeze caressing us. To our dismay

we found out from the care taker that a part of the cemetery was vandalized which included our own! As we approached the tomb with bouquet of flowers in our hands, we found the broken cross on the ground with the long beam of the cross missing. We searched among the other destroyed tombs but could not find it. We cleaned the other part of the broken cross and placed it back on the base and placed our flowers around the tomb offering prayers and praying to our saintly uncle. We were lucky that, once a month holy mass offered in the cemetery chapel happened to be on that day and we were blessed to participate in the Mass. The priest and the people welcomed us with hea felt sympathy and the priest gave us front seat for the Mass. The Mass and prayers were very solemn while we prayed for all the Ettupara family members.

We left the cemetery with hearts full of tranquillity. when we got back in the USA, we contacted the Diocese of Edinburg and reconstructed the tomb as it is standing now since August 2012.

A brother’s Grief

By

N.X Kurian

3^nd edition.

Preface

My honourable friend Mr. N.X. Kurian should have attained fame in the field of literature long before this. But as he says in this book, he had not seriously attempted to write a poem before. He considered his attempt in the area of literature only as a time passing. However, in this poem, though with sadness, he has expressed his expertise in the area of language.

Without saying anything in particular we can assume the theme of this poem. His younger brother, Mr. Mathew, when he was staying in Edinburg for higher education, died of Pneumonia. I did not know Mr. Mathew personally but our families were long-time friends. From what I could gleam from this poem, Mr. Mathew was an extremely intelligent young man with exceptionally good nature. Personally, I am aware that his untimely death drowned not only his family members but also the people of the area in deep sorrow. We can only imagine how much it hurt his elder brother.

“A Brother’s Grief” is an expression of Mr. Kurian’s deep sorrow. There is no need to say anything about the quality of this poem as it is so well done. It is a lasting testimony of his love for his brother, his ability to write quality poem and his deep devotion to God.

We have only very few poems of mourning in Malayalam. The great poets Kumaranasan and Nalappattu Narayana Menon lighted the lamp for the Malayalees in this area. Some others also have tried but did not succeed to bring about the noble thoughts, innocent love and natural holiness. Among the Christian poets, Mr. Kurian is the first one who ventured into this line of expression. Anyone who read this poem can see how well he succeeded in his attempt.

Mr. K. M. Panickar,

Chalayil Kavalam

INTRODUCTION

My brother N.X. Mathew, B.A., while engaged in higher education at Edinburg University, due to the extreme cold weather, contacted Pneumonia and died. When we got the cable information of his passing, we were shocked with grief and some of the deep feeling of sorrow I experienced was expressed through this poem. During my study I have written some poems and published them through certain magazines. I am well aware that none of them were quality poems.

Though this poem is not much better, more than publishing a literary masterpiece, my deep feelings are expressed in it. One thing I can assure is that each word in it has been written with deep feelings. We had great expectations from our dear brother. The untimely departure of that beloved brother has thrown us into deep sorrow. The depth of our sadness could be understood only by those who have gone through similar experiences.

I will be satisfied if those who read this will be touched by our grief and I will get some consolation for my grief. I have no words to express my feelings of sorrow. The reason I wrote “A Brother’s Grief” in a poem is that Mathew was a great poet and musician. Before he became twenty three years he had composed many beautiful poems. Though this is not the time or place to deal with them, I would like to give some of them here.

Due to the heaviness of the sin committed by man,

When the weight of God’s wrath would capture me

Mother Mary would hold me with great compassion

As she is the refuge of sinners who seek her help.

What is it in your hands that pour such mercy?

Could it be rosary, scapular, Grant me,

I place myself before you.

Only those can bind me to you

This was published in the magazine “Carmala Kusumam”. He had written also about our beloved mother who passed away, and about our first teacher “Neelakandanpillayasan” who initiated us into studies.

In the East we see in Kannadiyil one that exist as the eye of all,

The one with the name Chandika may be blessed.

He was a vision of holiness in Kavalam and

We pray that my Amma, Therisamma may bless us.

While he was studying in high school, he lived with me in Alappuzha. To encourage his cousin and classmate who was struggling to study, he composed a poem and wrote it on the wall of the room where they were studying.

Grand words attained by the genius

Are not available to the ordinary people

While the friends were sleeping, we

Burned the oil lamp at mid night

Since I hope to expand on this while writing Mathew’s biography, I shall not go into more details here.

While Malayalam is being beautified with various literary works, I am afraid that my humble work would be out of place. However, I hope that the generous hearts of the compassionate people would see my mistakes as minor. What encouraged me to write this was some of the things mentioned about Mathew in the letters we got from Edinburg and some of the write ups about his death in our News Papers. Since they would help to understand the ideas expressed in this poem, I have added them at the end.

A photo taken before Mathew got sick also has been added here. Hope it would satisfy those who wish to see what he looked like.

I express my sincere gratitude to Mr. Kurian Kuduvadathil, my uncle who took the pain to listen carefully to the content of this book in spite of his physical discomforts, blessed me and gave me permission to publish it. This great soul who is filled with the wisdom of age, and knowledge of literature and poems, have tried hard to encourage our taste in writing. It produced great result at least in the case of Mathew. It was our earnest wish that this holy man might live at least three more years.

May Mary in her beloved son, Jesus help him to grow in holiness?

100 years more in this world and watch the sun rises.

With deep gratitude I express my thanks to Mr. K.M. Panickar who read this book and wrote a beautiful review. He has been my close friend and neighbour. While he was preparing to go to London for a conference that would benefit the 33 crore people in India, he saw this book. He was returning after saying good bye to his people and had promised to write the preface before boarding the ship. I was not sure if that would be possible. If not, let the book go into oblivion as the life of Mathew. With that thought I gave the book to him. Within a week I realized the true mentality of that generous soul. From Delhi he sent the book with the preface that was suitable to his literary expertise. Having it sent from the Capital of India he was adding relevance to the publication of this book.

During our childhood, Mr. Panickar used to encourage us to compose and expressed great appreciation for my poems. I had written them in the year 1100 but the publication of the same got postponed for various reasons. If Mr. Panickar had not seen this manuscript and encouraged me to publish it, it would have met with the same fate as my earlier poems. May the readers judge the value of Mr. Panickar’s words. I conclude this introduction and present this “A Brother’s Grief” to the kind consideration of the readers.

Xavier Kurian Ettuparayil , Pulinkunnu 24 -1-1106

(August 24,1931)

A Brother’s Mourning

I

1

Leaving the anxieties of the earth, we constructed a grand fortress in the sky

Unexpectedly it scattered and fell to the ground.

2

With great hope a plant was planted in the garden

Unfortunately, it broke and disappeared into oblivion

3

Of my six brothers he who was my best friend

That saintly youth disappeared into the Western world

4

Were you a lit lamp that was going to be put out suddenly?

You were a wonder to the English class mates

And achieved high victory in your studies.

5

No one in India had taken the B.E.D. Degree.

While we were rejoicing received the terrible sad news

6

Like a shooting star you shined and then disappeared

Destroying all our ambitions you went away

7

We waited for your coming with high achievement

But our hopes were drowned in the sea of sorrow

8

All your good qualities became nothing

As you surrendered your life to the illness

9

We stood shedding tears 8000 miles away

You my beloved left for heaven without saying anything to us

10

As your parents and little brother in heaven welcome you

You left to find consolation in their loving company

11

When we think of the perishable worldly joys

Yes, we let you, enjoy heavenly eternal peace.

12

As for us we are drowning in the sea of sorrow

Without understanding your untimely departure

13

Oh! Death you come as ultimate wisdom but man does not understand it

Who knows the ultimate truth though people say things of consolation?

14

Would your senses reach eternity?

How would people know the mystery of death?

15

Why did death cut off this young life?

Did the garden of youth enter eternal spring?

16

The world seems to be filled with darkness

Like an empty heart, it disappeared in time

17

The triangle glass returned the reflection

Shattering all the colourful dreams

18

A life filled with dreams and hopes

All the fortunes at arm’s reach became bitter in your absence

19

As we drowned in the joy of your coming home

What we got was bitter grief but shall accept it

20

Is this life only to be erased in the course of time?

Youth, health and good life only a shattered dream

21

Life is a statement of love and toil

How could your sweet life end in death?

22

What is this life except the beauty of grace?

The physical being is only a water bubble

23

This life is precious to the Lord

But it leaves this empty body

II

24

Is this a body to house fullness of holiness?

We are destined to live for eternity in heaven

25

Since your departure heaven has become beyond my understanding

Ha! Life with you and having no help I became helpless

26

Thinking of it I drown in sorrow for we could perform no final caring

At the moment of death got no chance to say a word

27

How I longed to stand near you and say words of consolation

None of us relatives were fortunate to be with you at the final moment

28

Who embraced your sweet self at that foreign land?

Who kissed you at the final moment?

29

Who closed those eyes when life left your body?

My hands did not have that privilege! How Sad!

30

The casket with the vision of life

Who closed it? This thought filled my eyes with tears

31 and 32

When would this terrible sadness come to an end in my heart?

My sorrow that eats up my heart would last as long as I live with this body

33

Oh! Handsome man, your body would dissolve into the Western soil

Would you disappear in the course of time?...

34

The yellow flower bed covered with snow enveloped your body

You stay alone in the life designed by fate...

35

My brotherly love is poured into your heart

How long will you rest in a foreign land?

36

How can snow and sand hide your pure mind?

Just by hiding in the soil, will your goodness be forgotten?

37

Why did God give us a mind that can fly without the body?

I was not fortunate at least to give a final kiss to my brother

38

Were you forsaken while living in a distant land?

Did your mind travel with your body?

39

Man has to respect the incapacity to move freely

It is the Lord who created this soul in the still body

40

Where is the body that has no feeling?

Where is the netherworld or mountain where mind cannot reach?

41

Engrossed in various jobs we parted, you to distend land

But in our hearts, we were close and tied us together in love

42

The rope of love reached you who stand on the other side of the Sea

It tied us together in my heart, though you stayed in a distant land.

43

This ardent love was cut with the sword of death

How can anyone pick me up who has fallen to the ground?

44

Parting is the order of the day and I learned this lesson

From the famous monks such as Kasyapan and Vasishtam

45

I was counting the days and waiting for Tomorrow

When I shall attain this total fortune but days went on...

46

The anxiety of man builds the castles in the sky

The luck of man comes and goes

47

Man is led by the vain glory of hope but the continuous

Disappointments throw him into the depth of sorrow

48

What in the world could overcome the loss of a brother?

Dearest, you are blessed for you know none of this pain!

49

Without seeing the sorrowful figures created by time

Without drowning in the ocean of gossips

50

Your fate reached you to the heights of its glory

You who went for eternal rest are blessed!

III

51

The twilight draws designs on the western beach of River Sindhu

Yesterday I went there and was drowned in tears of sorrow

52

In the afternoon my shadow fell on the land

And it melted like a sea spread in front of me

53

The joy and sorrow of man is reflected in the nature

Like a book that explains all, the waves came and went

54

Waves comes up and immediately goes down

Then falls into the depth and goes in order like that

55

Consoling words like a gentle wind kept fondling me

The window of life is complicated here in this world

56

Thoughts of you kept on coming and messaged me into

A sleep of peace that calmed my mind

57

I stay there at the sea feeling the cooling breeze

I walked in memory of our childhood in satisfaction

58

You went to the other side of this sea and dissolved into the soil

Oh! My brother what were your final messages to us

59

By the golden hands of sorrow, you sang a song in beauty

Giving us consolation and peace in the Lord

60

The resounding sound that is not clear

Soothing words I heard in my tired heart

61

Relationship that knows the joy and sorrow of a father’s affection

What is it that I see without mercy the depth of sorrow?

62

Life that see the experiences of joy and sorrow

Man has no right to move forgetting his position

63

We are destined to suffer all the sorrow with a calm mind

The Lord has said that each one must carry his cross

64

Human mind lost in the pleasures of the world

Is difficult to come back but in sorrow it is possible

65

Suffering brings about changes for the better

Suffering purifies one as gold in the fire

66

The one who resides in this golden Tabernacle

Suffered passion and the Cross

67

Jesus Christ hung on three sharp nails is the refuge for man

He is the refuge for the broken hearted and solace for the suffering

68

Immaculate Mary who knew no sin crossed the sea of sorrow

The heart that was pierced is the comfort for those in sorrow

69

The Lord searches for the flowers in the garden and pick the best

What right do we have to complain; the one who planted can pluck the one he wants?

IV

70

Ha! ha! What right do I have to continue in dire sadness?

My brother is in heaven and I should not be sad

71

My love, my brotherly deep love compels me

To have me connected to eternal Bliss

72

Not only in the world but also in heaven, brother is brother

Can you forget me drowning in the sea of sorrow?

73

Brother, brother the love that makes my life significant

The word that makes my ears filled with sweet music

74

I stand with this song at the gate of heaven

The mercy of God may be poured into the earth

75

Man’s song that challenges the sweet music of angels

Why toil searching for? Is it not the Psalm “Love you my Brother?”.

FAMILY HISTORY

I had written in “A Brother’s Grief” that I will be writing the family history of Mathew. But I could not do it and so I just write a summary of the family history in the 2^nd edition

The rich tradition of a family is a blessing of God. The history of the great people shows that, behind the fame of a person there is the tradition of the family. In the case of Mathew this was true. His Father and Mother came from families with honour and fame. His mother belonged to Kuttickal family about which Chevalier I. C. Chacko has written in the biography of Bishop Louis who was the brother of her Father. This family that was known for their generosity and pious life had its roots in the tradition of nobility. Let me say something about the family of Mathew’s Father. The Ambumkayam family, in Mallapally in the middle of Travencore, had many branches in various parts of Kerala. Pulickalparambu in Aymanam is one of those branches. The leader of the branch, Ittuppu pleased the kings with his excellent use of weapons. He attained the position known as “Panikar”. He had two sons called Thommy and Itty. They too were experts in using weapons as well as in Ayurvedic medicine. They also were awarded the position of “Panickar”. In those days serving middle Lords was not a steady matter as they got involved in the wars between the kings. Hence, they suffered loss of money and position. In the meantime the Father, Ittup Panickar, died. Thommy Panickar found it not befitting to continue in Ayamanam and left for Kuttanadu with his family, leaving the property to his younger brother Itty Panickar who became the sole owner of Pulickalparambu. Some of the children of Itty Panickar later migrated to Calicut. While Thommy Panickar searched for more land for agriculture, the ones who went North ventured into the area of education. Both branches excelled in their fields by their hard work and intelligence. Judge P.I. Varghese, Engineer P.I. George, Adv. P.P. John etc were the descendants of Itty Parnickar.

Thommy Panickar who came to Kuttanad was familiar with King Kochappa of the palace of Pappanattu. At that time the king was residing in the palace at Kannady in Pulinkunnu. Thommy Panickar went and appealed to the king. As Tommy Panickar needed financial help from the king, the king needed the skills of Thommy Panickar and his sons. The buildings that belonged to the king were temples owned by him. The king gave Tommy Panickar and his family the run down temple buildings and the land around it. Tommy Panickar had four sons namely Ittup, Itty, Koshy, and Chacko. After their father died, Ittup stayed in NEDUVELI, Itty in the house in Kalathil; Koshy stayed in Mambalath and Chacko stayed in Malithara.

Ittup in Naduvelil had two sons namely Cheriyan and Tommy. Cherian married Chacchiyamma Kochupalathinkal of Pulimkunnu. She proved that mothers are responsible for bringing up children in the good path. Cherian excelled in the farming and they were blessed with wealth as well as children. They had six sons, Ittupu, Mathula, Itty Iype, Thomman, Cherian, and Varkey. They also had three daughters. Of the sons, Varkey became a priest, he was made a Malpan(Monsignor) and died in Varapolly church. The fourth son, Thomman lived in ETTUPARA. He had two sons namely Ouseppu and Xavier. Xavier was the father of Mathew. He was brave hardworking, farsighted, and intelligent. He sent his sons to study English in spite of adverse Christian traditions and enjoyed its benefits. He was one of the first ones to make land out of the Lake Vembanadu and grew rice. Many praised his hard work. Mr. V.K. Kuruvila, professor and poet of C.M.S. college Kottayam wrote a poem praising the qualities of Xavier. One of the lines:

“Hail Xavier of great courage and insight who joined land to the sea

May you live a long and fruitful life on earth”

From his Father, Mathew got the intelligence, nature of working hard and being courageous in times of crisis. Mathew was loved by all who met him. From his mother, Thresia, he had inherited a loving nature and deep devotion to the Lord. Thresia was a member of the Kuttickal family in Pulikunnu. Until she got married, she was the only child in the family of Kudupadam Mangalapally, a branch of the Kuttickal family. She was the niece of Rev Fr Kochachan Kanjickal. While he was the vicar of the church in Pulinkunnu, Thresia was studying in the school there. When she was twelve years old her uncle priest became very ill. While Thresia and the brothers of the priest were standing at his death bed, he said “When Thresia gets married give her that golden anklet as a gift”. The golden anklet was about 20 pavans which is about 5-6 ounces and was the heirloom of Kanjickal family and very expensive. All these happened because of her good nature right from childhood.

A year after the priest uncle died, Thresia got married to Xavier Ettupara. She was only 13 years old. On the morning of her wedding day uncles from Kanjickal came to put the anklet on her ankles. Then Thresia said”Please put that ornament on the tomb of Kochachan. When I come to the Church, I shall take them from there and put them on my ankles.” In front of the tomb, she washed the tomb and the ornament with her tears and put them on her ankles. A reflection of this happened at the tomb of Mathew in Edinburg when the aged mother of Professor Anderson touched the namestrip on Mathew’s casket.

Thresia died at the age of 33, after seeing the fruit of her labour in her sons Thomman, Kurian, Ouseppu, Cherian, Mathew, Varkey and Ittuppu and her daughters Brigiht, Achamma and Mariakutty. The youngest son Ittupu died when he was a baby.

All the good qualities such as good character, piety and loving nature in Mathew were inherited from Thresia. He expressed the good qualities of that good lady in the foreign land.

“Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gets understanding, for the gain from it is better than gain from silver and its profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor” (Prov 3, 13-16).

Malayala Manorama, 15 December 1930. Page 3.

(Malayalam Calendar) Vrichikam 30^th,Monday,1106

Book Review “A Brother’s Grief” by N.X. Kurian B.A. B.L.

Poems of mourning has great value in the world of literature. This poem “A brother’s Grief” is capable of touching the heart of any one even more than the “Prarodhanam” of Asan and “Tear Drops” of Nalappadan. If anyone has any doubt about it read this poem once.

The brother of the author, Mr. N.X Mathew died at the age of 23 while studying for higher degree in Edinburg. This poem expresses his feeling upon hearing the untimely death of his beloved brother. Each line in the poem is flowing with deep feeling. See a part of it:

“How I longed to stand near you and say

Words of consolation in the foreign land

None of us relatives were fortunate

To be with you at the final moment

Who embraced your sweet self?

Who kissed you at the final moment?

Who closed the eyes when life parted that body?

My hands did not have that privilege! How Sad!”

If we start to analyse as the above stanza, most of this poem will have to belikely recited. The poem shows that the heart of this author burnt with great agony at the news of the death of his beloved brother and the understanding of the depth of poems in human hearts.

The annex added at the end would surely make any one cry. We are surprised that Mr. Kurian wrote so effectively.

A photo of Mr. N.X Mathew has been added to this book. After seeing the photo, knowing it was his brother and realizing the smart youth had an untimely departure from this world, this mourning song found expression through the pen of Mr. Kurian.

The preface of Mr. K. M. Panickar added more value to this poem. While welcoming “A Brother’s Grief” into the world of literature we wish all the best to the author.

AFTERWORD

(1)

The following letter was written by Rev. Fr. Cyriac Mattathil, a close friend and teacher of Mathew. He sent the letter to me. (The original letter was in English)

Manvettam

February 17,1925

My Respected friend,

How our beloved Mathew also has fallen under history! I am not writing this letter to add to your already broken heart more grief of losing a brother. I think you know how close your brother and I were. It had gone beyond the respect of a student and love of a teacher. He was like a brother to me. I am saying these things to you because I know that of all the brothers, Mathew had great respect and love to you. I have seen you only once. While I was teaching at Mannanam I saw you passing by but I became aware that you looked so much like Mathew. That is another reason I am telling you everything in my heart.

I am so proud that I was able to have a part in forming the character of Mathew at an early age. I am proud of my role in his life. Honestly, I often wondered if God will allow such a hardworking and valuable youth to remain among the simple people like us.

While Mathew was a student, the letters and poems he wrote to me and the words he spoke when he said good bye to me at the Lalam Church in Palai are still vivid in my memory.

Mathew must have had many friends in Trichy and Europe and they also will surely mourn over his untimely death. While we feel so heart broken in his passing, what will be the condition of your grieving heart? However, we Catholics have reason to be at peace in spite of our deep sorrow.

Since I heard that Mathew was sick, I was praying for his recovery. But I did not have to pray for many days as the sad news of his demise reached me. This morning I offered Holy Mass and Office of the dead, for my beloved student Mathew that he may rest in peace.

Please inform Cherian and George my sincere condolences. I would appreciate a photo of Mathew after he left for Europe.

It will be good if you would write a poem of Mourning a “Sodharavilapam”. It would give some relief to your sorrow. It was my hope that Mathew would become an excellent leader of Catholic poets and writers. Since he left us, it will be good and I request you if you would use your spare time to write poems.

Signature

C. K. Mattam

(2)

The following was a letter I received from Rev. Fr. John Palokarran, the Principal of St. Thomas College, Trichur

St. Thomas College

Trichur

1 February 1925

Dear Respected friend,

I received your very sorrowful letter. I got this heart breaking news yesterday, from Kurian of Nadakave who recently returned from Edinburg who now stays with your brother Cherian in Madras. Before I left for Europe, I realized that Mathew was one of the most intelligent and able students of mine. While in Edinburg we studied together for a while. Until the end Mathew preserved his deep spirituality and responsibility. His achievement of the first year was really praiseworthy. Nobody from India has taken the B. Ed degree before. May be God has greater things planned for Mathew. We only understand the external side of things as we are not capable of understanding the inner things. Let us surrender to God who knows what is best for us and our souls.

I shall pray for Mathew especially during Mass. Please show this letter to all in the family.

Signature

John Palokkaran

(3)

The following letter was sent to me by Rt. Rev.Dr.Choolaparampil, Bishop of Kottayam.

Catholic Bishop’s House, Kottayam

13 February 1925

Dear Respected Friend,

From the time I heard about the illness of your brother Mathew who was studying in Edinburg, I was praying for his recovery. I also asked others to pray for him. But, from the letter you wrote on 11 February, I see that God’s will was something else and Mathew already left for his eternal reward in heaven, last Sunday. What words of consolation can I give to you and your family members drowned in the sea of sorrow? You and all your family members suffer much pain when you think that Mathew surrendered to the call from God, in a faraway place, away from his family and relatives. How can I refrain from sharing your deep sorrow as I know you and the whole family so well? I pray for the repose of the soul of our very dear Mathew and pray to the Sacred Heart of Jesus to console the family members in your sorrow. Blessing all of you, I remain.

Signature

(4)

Following letter was the translation of a letter I got from a Jesuit Father in Edinburg. It was published in Malayala Manorama News Paper of Meenam 1, 1100

28 Loudistans Street, Edinburg

Febr uary 12, 1925

Dear friend,

My heartfelt condolences at the death of your beloved brother. The only word of consolation I can say to you is that Mathew was blessed to receive the death of a faithful and ardent Catholic. While he was staying in the Royal Hospital, I visited him every day and on Christmas time when I gave him Communion, I recall with what great piety, humility and devotion he received it! Before he became seriously ill, I visited him on Sunday, February 1^st and we had a heart to heart talk. As usual he asked me to pray for him and told me that he was feeling a little better. The following Tuesday (Feb. 3^rd) his condition became worse. I visited him, heard his confession, and gave him the sacrament of the Last Rites and final blessing of the Holy Father. Soon after that he became unconscious and he never regained full consciousness. He continued in that state for five days and on Sunday evening at 7:00 he left for his eternal reward. All these five days I whispered in his ears the act of contrition and other prayers. I gave him conditional absolution from all his sins.

On Wednesday morning the body was taken to the Sacred Heart Church. First of all, I offered Holy Mass for the dead, wearing black Vestments. Until evening the body was kept in the church respectfully and then it was taken in procession to the Mount Vernon Catholic Cemetery. In the funeral procession many Europeans, Indians and College students participated. A solemn funeral service was conducted.

Your brother had an unusual personality that attracted anyone who came in contact with him and a noble sweet nature. All his classmates, friends, even all the patients and the Sisters who nursed him were impressed by his good nature. As a sign of their respect a lot of very expensive flowers and bouquets adorned his coffin. One of them came from Malayalees and another one from some of the patients in the hospital. The bouquet from the hospital was inscribed their names and in whose honour, it was placed there. (even an ordinary bouquet that is used there, costs at least one pound)

From the time Mathew came to Edinburg I felt a special love and affection for him. Before and after he became ill, we engaged in long spiritual conversations. I was greatly surprised about his deep knowledge of the Holy Catholic doctrines. He had a sharp intelligence that he comprehended matters quickly and completely. Besides his faith and sincerity were above all these qualities.

While Mathew was sick, he used to speak about his death. He had said that the most important thing in his life was getting the grace of a holy death. He said that God knows what is best for him and that if it is God’s will that he dies with this illness, he was ready to accept it. He said all these not with any disappointments but with full understanding of our faith. His knowledge of the fundamentals of our faith was commendable. My sincere observation is that his convictions were befitting not only good Catholics but even saints.

Let me say two things that earned him respect from all, even after he became ill. The Nursing staff who were well experienced in taking care of local and different natured patients never felt tired of caring for Mathew. Because of their attraction to his sweet nature they cared for him not like an ordinary patient but like their own brother. Secondly from that hospital, even the many patients who were discharged came in flock enquiring about the well- being of Mathew. Aren’t these the proof of his ability to impress and attract people to him?

Kindly inform my heartfelt condolence to the family who are drowned in sorrow.

Signature

Francis Dono Hey, S.J.

(5)

Given below is the letter we got from a Sister in Edinburg. This was published in the Kuttanadan News Paper on 11 Meenam, 1100.

Royal Infirmary Ward 19

10 February 1925

Dear Mister

We all feel sad for you and for Mathew that none of you were able to be near him when he was seriously ill. Mathew received the best care possible here but it did not produce any good result. What a good character! When he first came here, he was energetic and smart but he became quiet when he found out that he was not getting any better. He never complained about anything but was so patient and he had a happy and blessed death. We did all that was possible for him but still we feel that we feel sad that we could not do more for him. He was treated by the best Doctor here, Dr Fleming. Like a loving Father, he often visited Mathew and gave all the care possible. As far as we know he did not suffer much pain. As the illness became critical, he became unconscious. Even the patients here liked him very much. If we do a little thing for him, he would show much gratitude for it. Even the discharged patients used to come and visit Mathew. Some of them sent a beautiful and very expensive bouquet to place on the coffin. Here we all feel the same sadness you all are undergoing there

With hearty condolences,

Signature

Sister, J. B. Waters

(6)

From the Nazrani Deepika of 11 Meenam and 27 Kunbam 1100. (July and August,1925)

Wrtten by A reporter from Pulinkunnu about late N.X. Mathew

( Orbituary Of Mr N X Mathew)

A reporter from Alapuzha had already written about the illness and death of N.X. Mathew. Only the matters got from the Telegram was reported in it. Recently more letters came to Mathew’s family from Edinburg, giving more details about his condition. Thinking that his friends and relatives would like to know more about Mathew, this article is being published. After passing with high honours degree last year in Scotland, Mathew appeared this year for the very tuff B.Ed exam. Of the 400 people appeared for the BEd honours exam only four passed and one of them was Mathew. No one from India has ever passed this exam before. Thus, he was studying when he got sick. It continued to become worse but the Doctors did not tell him the

seriousness of his illness. During the last months of January and February there was severe snow storm and the climate was very cold. In those days on February 3^rd, the condition of Mathew became very bad and he became unconscious. He never regained full consciousness. Everyonce in a while he had lucid moments. Then he cared only to see the Catholic Sisters (Sisters of Charity) and Priests and discussed only spiritual matters. During this time something praiseworthy happened that, Mathe called his close friend in Edinburg who was a medical student, Mr. Neelakandapilla from Travencore and bid him final farewell. It is commendable to note that he extended his weak arm to shake hands with M Pilla to show his gratitude to him. All his belongings and the key were entrusted to Mr Pilla, three weeks prior to his becoming seriously ill.

Though the illness was serious, since he got the best care possible in Edinburg, everyone thought that he would get better. But Mathew thought differently. He was bedridden for three months before dying. The professors told him that they would give him concession for his attendance. But, as two months passed, he began to feel that he would lose his year of study. He went there with great ambition, leaving his family and friends and studied well, attaining great achievements but all that hope was shattered by his serious illness. He knew that the prolonged illness was not a good sign. However, his deep faith, young age and intelligence gave him the power to overcome his condition. He did not despair but prepared to surrender to the will of God. In a letter that he wrote which reached here only after his death he said, “Though the family was not near him, Mathew believed that God was with him. He said, “Away from my home and dear ones, I am in a foreign land but I am aware of the presence of God with me. I pray that none of you should feel sad about me.”

Though Mathew wrote this way to home to console everybody, he was preparing for his final moment on earth. The following incidents are proof of this. Three weeks before, he entrusted his things and keys to Mr. Neelakandapilla. The letter from Sr. J.B. Waters clarifies these things. She was in charge of nursing Mathew. She felt deep respect for Mathew’s good character and sad for his condition. Without informing Mathew, she wrote a letter to his family. She did not know the name or address of any of his brothers. Thinking Mathew was his family name, she addressed the letter: Mathew Pulincunnu, India. That letter reached his brothers only after his death. In that letter she wrote that Mathew was showing no interest in worldly matters and appears to be waiting for the impending death. All the treatment and care seem to produce no result. She expressed her sadness in the condition of Mathew.

During the last days and afterwards, Mathew received the help of the famous Catholic priest in Scotland, Rev. Fr. Donald Hey S.J. The body was kept in the Catholic Church in Edinburg from noon to the time of the funeral. Keeping his body in the Church, they offered two High Masses and final services. None of these were done by the request of anyone. Many Catholics and non-Catholics participated in the service. His body was buried in the Catholic Cemetery in Edinburg. Mr. Neelakandapilla wrote that the Sisters who nursed him are still crying over his death. There were many Sisters in various departments.

Many are mourning the death of Mathew. Two of those mourning nuns reflected the two nuns in his own family in India. When Mathew was three years old his mother died and his sister Thresia, neglecting her education looked after him. later she became a Sister and has been praying for him. Another Sister who continues to pray for Mathew is the sister of his mother, Sr. Bright. How did they reach there, 8,700 miles away from Kerala? Their deep feelings of sorrow touched the Sisters in Scotland. As the saying goes, “As you treat others, you will be treated”. The Merciful God arranged parents, siblings, aunts and all these for Mathew in Scotland, who was miles away from his family and friends. We like to publish the letter by the President of the Indian Association in Edinburg but fearing the length of the article, we shall not do it. The letter explained the quality of Mathew’s character, his extreme intelligence, and deep faith.

Within a short time, Mathew became dear not only to the people from Kerala but also various distinguished persons from other parts of India. After praising his various qualities, the president of the Indian association concluded saying “There are many people not just blood relatives but strangers who feel sad at the death of this valuable and loving youth. Hope knowing that statement, would give you some consolation. I have never participated in the burial of a Catholic. How touching a serviceit was! I am sure that Mr. Mathew is enjoying the presence of the heavenly Father at this time. Why should we disturb him with our tears?”

(7)

While Mathew was studying in the Christian College in Madras for B.A. there was a professor named Anderson from Scotland. Upon hearing that Mathew was going to Scotland for study, he wrote a letter to Mathew, giving him certain advises. He also wrote to his parents and brother and told them to give all the necessary help for Mathew. A part of the letter to Mathew said, “When you reach Europe you will see the men and women dealing with each other with the kind of freedom you have not seen in India. Since I know you, there is no need to advise you not to fall into such temptations.”

The Anderson family in Scotland took care of Mathew as a member of their own family. The father of the Professor was about the age of Mathew’s grandfather. He and his gracious wife treated him like their own son.

After Mathew died, this noble mother wrote a letter to her son in Madras. She never may have intended or thought any of us would see that letter. But this caring and generous professor found out that N.X Cherian who was studying for B.L in the same college was Mathew’s brother. Though he did not know Cherian he showed the letter to him and allowed him to take a copy of it. The translation of some parts of the letter is given below:

My son,

Yesterday we buried the body of our little friend, Mathew Xavier Neduvelil in the Mount Vernon Catholic Cemetery. It is a fact that we cannot even see his body in this world any more. But we may see him with the Lord, if we ever get to heaven that is set aside for the good people who have merited to attain the presence of the Almighty. Ever since Mathew was sick, we used to visit him often in the hospital. A while before he became unconscious, I had seen him. When I was leaving, he said good bye to me with a smile. But his joy created much pain in me. My mind told me that I will not see Mathew again in this life. He was lying in bed, not able to move, but continued watching me until I was out of sight.

.... The previous time when we visited him, Mathew cried. Ho! I have never seen so much tears. But this time when I visited him, his sadness had given way to joy...

Soon after Mathew died, the Sister who nursed him informed me. Your brother immediately went to the hospital..... With the flowers I had ordered from the flower shop, the very best available, I arranged into a bouquet, your brother and I went for the funeral. Since the climate was not good, we had told your father not to come out but disregarding our advice he also came to the Cemetery. He felt sick and we had to send him back in a taxi... During the burial I felt bad thinking Mathew’s mother who is not able to be near him. Thinking of her and taking her place I touched the name plate on the coffin and kept on caressing it ….

( 8)

CONCLUSION

Before concluding this “Grief of A Brother” or fond memories of a brother in the form of a book, I like to say some more things. I remember with gratitude the respectful names mentioned in the letters above. I also express my gratitude to all those who have expressed their condolence at the loss of my brother. There are more than l00 letters and Telegrams in front of me expressing condolences expressed equally or more than the above letters. Even more people have come in person to share our grief. I am sorry that I cannot write all their names here. But I am forced to mention certain names.

First of all I express my sincere gratitude to Dr Fleming who treated Mathew from the beginning to the end and loved him like a Father. He wrote me a letter expressing his respect for Mathew and kind words of condolences and profound love even though he did not know me. When I think of his esteemed position and popularity in Europe, I am surprised and proud that my little brother was able to obtain such love and affection in a European Doctor within a short time. In the same way I thank and respectfully honour the Archbishop of Ernakulam and the Bishops of Changanacherry, Kottayam and Trichur who consoled our deeply wounded and aching hearts with their prayers of soothing balm and fatherly blessings which somewhat helped heal our deep wounds.

Rev. Fr. Honore, S.J., the professor of Science at St. Joseph’s College, Trichy, who is well known for his admirable personality, deep knowledge, piety and honourable life sent us a letter. It was also a documentary of Catholic theology of death. There is no need to say that it was truly consoling to us. He published a short Biography of Mathew in his valuable Magazine and asked us to give the necessary information for it.

Now I would like to say a few words about the friends of Mathew in Scotland who were from Travencore. Of them, Mr Neelakandapilla deserves our special thanks. He was a very close friend of Mathew. I wonder if all of us brothers and sisters got together, would have been able to do what he did for Mathew. He participated in all the joys and suffering of Mathew from the beginning to the end while Mathew was in Europe. He helped us to understand the truth about his life in Edinburg and its sad ending. During his best friend Mathew’s illness, Mr Neelakandapilla cared for him with great love and after he died informed us through Telegram and many letters. All the matters dealing with Mathew after he died was done well by Mr. Neelakandapilla. Through detailed letters he informed us all about the necessary affairs he dealt with for Mathew. Mathew was lucky to have a friend like Mr. Neelakandapilla. His presence was a great consolation for Mathew during his last moments and so it was consoling to us also.

Our deep pain from the sad drama of Mathew’s life and death in the foreign land was a little diminished by the kindness of Mr.Neelakandapilla and many others as mentioned. Another friend, Mr. Pappupilla and Dr. Matthur Panickar also helped with all the necessary things for Mathew. After Mathew died, Mr. Neelakandapilla collected all his belongings and sent them to us. He finished his education after two years and when he came back to India, he visited us and told us everything in detail. The many letters he wrote to us were testimonies of unselfish patriotic love and brotherly affection. This dedicated love will remain with us for ever.

The letter Sr. J.B. Waters wrote to us, she wrote thus about Neelakandapilla. “Mathew has a friend called Pilla. He was with him most of the time and took much trouble for Mathew. To relieve the responsibility of writing letters, Pilla wrote letters for Mathew. Yes, he was the best friend Mathew had at home and abroad. For noble and selfless love, there is no consideration of cast and creed.

Mr. Neelakandapilla belongs to a noble family in Nagarcoil. He belonged to the family of Nanupilla Divan. He is a relative of my good friends, Judge Madhavanpilla, Postal Superintend, Mr. Nagampilla, Asst. Commissioner of Excise Dept. Mr. Sankarapilla etc. Hence, I am not surprised that he was so caring and loving to Mathew.

Two years after Mathew died, Neelakandapilla completed his education with great honours and came back to India. From Sankarapilla I came to know that he had started his return journey. One afternoon, a helper in the office of Mr. Sankarapilla came to my house in Alappuzha. The following was the content of the letter:

“Appan has come from Nagarcoil. He wants to see Mr. Kurian. When can he come and visit him.? “It was a strange letter as my Father had died in the General Hospital in Madhura in Thulam 1097. All those who were close to us and even Mr. Sankarapilla knew about it. Anyway, I responded that I will be home. The man who appeared in front of me in 15 minutes created certain feelings I have not experienced until then. People close to Neelakandapilla called him “Appan”. During the first moment of our visit I saw not Mr. Neelakandapilla but my little brother. May be it happened because my vision was blurred with tears or because of all the feelings I had. At least for a moment we could experience the joy of seeing Mathew. We are ever grateful to “Appan” who created that feeling in us. I am not able to express our gratitude in a proper manner.

I am grateful to all who expressed sympathy and helped Mathew in anyway. We express our deep gratitude to all who stood by with us during this time of loss. I conclude with a grateful heart to all those who helped us.

***********************

This 3^rd edition includes several photographs that have been collected from various family members.

They are:

Pictures of original tomb of N X Mathew in Edinburg

Vandalized broken tomb in 2012 Found during the visit of Mathew and Valsa George. Present rebuilt tomb in August 2012 by Mathew George and Kurian George

The old Photos are:

The edited picture of Mr N.X Mathew B.A Bed.

The University of Edinburg campus (A Post card with NX Mathew’s signature, given to Mathachen by his mother Aliyamma George)

Picture of Mr N.X Mathew’s father Saveriar, (Kochappan), his tomb in Madhura, and picture with death announcement

Names and new Pictures of those who visited the tomb of Mr N.X Mathew in Edinburg

Mrs. Aleykutty Kuruvilla Kadavil and son Kunjachen (UK) 1970

Elizabeth (Simi) and Savio Rebello (Mathachen’s daughter and son in law) July 1999 (USA)

Mathew George (Mathachen) and Valsa George, Ettuparayil, June ,2012 (USA)

Sheela George, Ettuparayil (daughter of Kurian George) October 2012 (USA)

Sebastian George (Rajesh, son of Rajan and great grandson of NX Kurian, Ettuparayil) August 8,2014

Jose Mathew and Mini Jose Ettuparayil, Pazhayakaadu, August 2015 (Dubai)

Abraham Xavier Ettuparayil, (son of N C Xavier, Ettuparayil) October,2017

Photo