2020-03-13 Support

Empathy Circle Facilitators Online Support Group

https://j.mp/3byQoFO

Empathy Circle/Cafe facilitators support drop-in group. A weekly call to talk about;

• * Learning and deepening the Practice

• * Developing, Promoting, Improving the Practice

• * Tips

• * Experiences

• * Successes

• * Challenges, Problems

• * Case Studies

• * Designing Training Material

• * Connecting with Co-Facilitators and Coordinators

• * Feedback and Support on Projects

• * etc

Andrew MacDonald

I enjoyed todays Empathy Circle for potential facilitators, for which thanks Edwin and all. I have something alive from it that I wanted to share about what I see is the context or larger picture for bringing Empathy Circles into XR. (360 more words)

When Edwin added his reflection at the end of my share I realized that I'd not gotten across the heart of what I meant. It's that, imo, there's an evolutionary blindspot involved in our collective situation, one that shows up in XR too and that empathy, for all its beauty and elegance (and necessity), empathy is almost sure to overlook. The reason it's overlooked and will be, without being named and looked for, is that we humans come with a built-in empathic bias toward what the people we're bonded too believe to be real. Our conscience is based on that so we have a bad conscience if we don't feel/believe what they do and a good conscience when we do. ( I believe/feel/see, following Bert Hellinger that conscience is not primarily about right and wrong as we like to believe, but about belonging and connection.) We have a hidden, out of awareness loyalty to the people we depend on for our identity that is difficult to identify and transcend. Empathy alone filters contrary input out. It's loyalty and connection that come first for the human organism. We learned that so early, perhaps from the time the zygote latched onto the uterus.

My intention here is just to signal it and bring it in later, or not, as works for the ecosystem of change we're in.

I suspect that Empathy Circles are critically important, necessary but not sufficient part of the spectrum of support. I feel they would ultimately need to be complemented by the yang component to bring in the other end. As I suggested when I spoke, I think XR is under the spell of "yin-only" and has at its emotional core, beneath the principles and the three demands, loyalty to the radical left's position on patriarchy, privilege and de-colonization - not as add-ons but as the emotional basis of strategy. Where for example is healthy masculinity to show up here? Because the current strategy is one-sided with the other side in shadow, I feel it will fail and will provoke push back. I hope to add my one voice to bridging that and helping build a unified culture.

Sally Notes

Edwin: Mediators group idea for failing or struggling XR groups. A group of maybe six to support the group issues. Pre circle set up.

Next idea: Covit empathy cafe -what is the need? Accompany self quarantine. Computer to computer. Norway was mentioned. (Marta?)

Next idea - Write out method to follow in local groups, steps for pre circle, schedule empathy circle, train to hold empathy circles, step by step process in conflict 30-60 minutes for person frustrated. James prefers some individuality. Nellie -you want to have a homogenous method - one method. James - individual add on approach. Karolina- is this logical? Or structure...needed to support circle. Edwin explains that in pre-circle facilitator does gets heard.

MaryAnne different cultures where she lives - Calgary vs Edmonton farmers vs different ones much variation and complexities in interest and involvement. Something to consider. She plans to work with people in neighborhood. The current conditions can also bring people together.

Ben - keep empathy and reflection to very short point by point. It helps to paraphrase and keep short and slow.

Missing piece Karolina face gesture and James a disconnect. Ben - vape/smoke - relaxation and on edge. Disappointed that there was nothing from Karolina.

James - functional sub grouping - to reflect. Andrew resonant irked worry about making a mistake. I said same thing. MaryAnne -brain gymnastics game.

Andrew - empathy support circles are not compatible with the patriarchal portion of societies including indigenous groups. He's worked extensively with both, there is a major system missing that needs mapped out. Yin with no yang.

Plant a seed.

Bill - move ahead faster wants to see it move.

Sally- ideas can be planned out.