April's Fool is a collection of poems that follows along with the most commonly known stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I wanted to focus my capstone project on something important to me, but also something that could utilize my creative writing skills while still giving me a challenge. I fell in love with poetry in high school and the more I thought about what I wanted to do for this project, the more I realized this was the perfect scenario for me to write about. I curated this collection not only to use as an outlet for my emotions but also for others to read and know that they aren't alone and it's okay to feel these things. Essentially, April's Fool explores the ups and downs of life after a breakup through my innermost thoughts and emotions.

My writing process for this project was quite messy and mentally taxing, but at the same time, it was extremely healing and fun. At first, the poems came quite easily, but after a while, finding the words I was trying to express became harder. I spent a lot of time at the library and Barnes and Noble trying to read as many poetry books as I could to gain insight and inspiration from other poets. I aimed to have my poems be somewhat vague but with a lot of hidden and deep meanings. Of course, these poems serve as a representation of what I went through, but I wanted readers to be able to see pieces of themselves and their own experiences within my work as well. 

This project is extremely personal to me as it is an expression of my raw emotions following a breakup, but there are some really deep ties that not everyone might catch. For example, the title comes from the date that I was asked to be an official girlfriend. It was April 1, 2021, and I remember asking, “Wait are you joking? Because it’s April Fool’s Day...” and he just blushed, had a small laugh to himself, and said, “Oh totally! No, I’m not joking, but that would have been crazy?!” Three years later and here I am, just another fool on the first of April (but one with a really cool collection of poetry). Essentially, each poem I have crafted has some sort of easter egg that circles back to me, my ex-partner, and our relationship. I wish I could explain every detail of this project, but I want to leave some mystery to it and let readers have their own interpretation. 

My name is Chloe Loya and I'm a first generation English major with an emphasis in Creative Writing. I'm graduating this Spring (2024) and am a first-generation student. My time here at CSUCI has been quite an adventure! I started here in the Fall of 2019 as a freshman and was abruptly sent back home in the Spring of 2020 due to COVID-19. I originally was a Psychology major, but the pandemic really got me to think about my future and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and I realized English and writing was my passion. Ever since I made the switch I've known this was the right path. After graduation, I plan to take a gap year to work and save money while applying to various grad schools and teaching credential programs to become a high school English teacher. As for my writing, I fully intend to keep it on the side and would love to add to this particular piece of work and hopefully, one day publish it. I have very high hopes for my future and look forward to my next adventure.