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ABSTRACT:
Emerging from Disruption consists of poems and stories inspired from my life experiences coming from a Mexican American background, They touch on themes such of tradition and transformation, gender, love, pain, and memory.
These poems and stories allow readers a glimpse into a path met with disruptive factors, yet one towards appreciation, inspiration, and empowerment.
part I: Cultura Rica
Haiku: Transform
Abundance in bloom
Red crescent chiles grow wild
Longing to transform
Influences:
Influences:
I was heavily inspired by Chicana Falsa and other stories of death, identity, and Oxnard by Michele Cerros, The Cha Cha Files: A Chapina poetica by Maya Chinchilla, and Wild Embers by Nikita Gill.
Chicana Falsa and The Cha Cha Files inspired me to take on a narrative style of telling my stories. I created from my own experience and weaved in real and reimagined aspects of memories and reflections.
Nikita Gill's Wild Embers: poems of rebellion, fire, and beauty, inspired me to not only document my culture, but also write from a stance geared towards empowerment and healing.
I also used the craft book, The Poet’s Companion by Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux to foster my creativity. As much as I love a well written research and analysis paper, I wanted a break from writing one in search of getting in touch with my creative nature and developing my skills as an artist.
Excerpt from "Chicana Crossroads"
Exploring in awe and anguish of the world
this quiet, always well behaved student listens
deconstructing in order to come back an impartial observer
still juggling the divisive bitter voice within
They long to bend the way it’s always been.
A voice calmly reminds her: “We are all stronger together than when we are divided.
Leave your impression, voice your concern
strengthen your voice and be willing to learn
the power to pivot in an ambivalent state. ” ...
Excerpt from "in my family's garden"
...He moves along to harvest and eventually share abundant mature pads
while just behind him,
buds an extension of his pride and hard work
seeming to reach towards him
like a child wanting to embrace their father
A beautiful reciprocal relationship.
He says to us:
“Hijas, vengan y ayudenme por favor.
Bianca, trae un cochillo, con cuidado
y Chila, busca una caja para los nopales. Vamos a comer huevos con nopal al rato.”
part II: Reflections
part II: Reflections
Excerpt from "Ponte las Pilas"
...
Why do we compare ourselves to charged devices?
Promoting a numbing comparison
Enduring our pain in place of rest
I swear sometimes, it feels like we forget we are flesh.
In case I ask how you’re doing
When you’re down to the last 5 percent
down to the last spare pila
The response always stays the same,
You hide behind a curtain of comedy
Tired and bruised to the bone
Slowly being drained like a repeatedly used remote control
...
part III: Impressions and Shoutouts
For Mewsette
Constantly by my side, we trudge the storm
At home, my Mews alone keep me nice and warm
Soothing purrs reduce the stress that won't let me be
Like medicine, she helps transmute the negativity around me
Her chitter and chatter, demand my attention
Day or night, we share our affection
Tail raised, silvery and silky smooth
one touch, two mews and it changes my mood
When I wake up with a heavy loaf across my feet
Joy fills me knowing its my sweet
my muse, my drive
my reason for feeling slightly more alive.
Chila, La Maravilla
Four letters I recognize as the nickname
my older sister endearingly gave me
When we were young, free-thinking, and impressionable children
Chila
Boldly she called me chila
We don’t know how the name came to be
But it stuck. Call me chila, chee-la, Che-cheel-ya
Maybe it's a shortened version of Cecilia
A name that seems a challenge to fully pronounce
I become CiCi, Ceci, Celia, even Cynthia.
Cecilia means blind in Latin.
Unfortunately: Blinded and bordered within belittling beliefs.
Fortunately: Barely burdened by beastly behavior.
Suddenly, I remember how lucky I am.
I am learning to consider what I say before I speak.
While they continue to say:
“You could have been Maria, La Susana or even Arthur, El Arturo”
Because no matter how much my father asked God to bless him with a son, he blessed him with a daughter.
Alegre, yo sigo siendo Chila
La maravilla
I am a wonder
And I continue being the leader of my own story.
Biography:
Biography:
My name is Cecilia Martinez and I am a first-generation, daughter of Mexican-American parents. I'm proud to be the first in my family to graduate from a university with a degree in English. Aside from writing, I enjoy cooking, theater, gardening, and spending quality time with my cat, nephew and sisters.
Acknowegments:
To my cat, Mewsette, my friends, and especially all the women in my life who have helped guide and support me.
Above all my parents, Clara y Angel; I am immensely grateful for their support, love, and wisdom. To my family I dedicate this project.
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