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In this column, find out the comical side of AI as we ask it life's greatest questions. This column is run by Connor Upshaw.
ASK AI
By Connor Upshaw
AI chatbot questioned: Google Bard
Query: Can you, to the best of your ability, predict how the senior graduation ceremony at Grants Pass High School will go?
AI: Based on my knowledge, here is a possible prediction of how the senior graduation ceremony at Grants Pass High School will go:
The ceremony will start with the processional of the graduates, faculty, and staff.
The National Anthem will be sung.
The principal will give a welcome address.
The valedictorian and salutatorian will give speeches.
There will be a presentation of awards and scholarships.
The graduates will be presented with their diplomas.
The recessional will take place.
The ceremony will be a time for celebration and reflection. It will be a day for the graduates to look back on their time at Grants Pass High School and to look forward to the future. The ceremony will be a memorable event for all involved.
Here are some additional details that may or may not occur at the ceremony:
The ceremony may be held in the school's auditorium or on the football field.
The ceremony may be attended by students, parents, teachers, staff, and community members.
The ceremony may be live-streamed or recorded for those who are unable to attend in person.
The ceremony may feature musical performances by the school's band, choir, or orchestra.
The ceremony may include a moment of silence for graduates who have passed away.
The ceremony may conclude with a fireworks display.
The specific details of the ceremony will depend on the decisions of the school administration and the graduating class. However, regardless of the details, the senior graduation ceremony at Grants Pass High School will be a special event that the graduates will cherish for years to come.
These predictions seem fairly spot-on for the most part. The only part it definitely has wrong is the fireworks display because that is almost definitely not happening. The rest of it consists of some pretty solid predictions on how graduation will go, and I am excited to see just how much it gets right. Now let's see what happens when the AI is asked to write a story about the Caveman graduation ceremony.
AI: The year is 2023. The Grants Pass High School graduation ceremony is about to begin. The students are all dressed up in their caps and gowns, and the parents and teachers are beaming with pride.
But this graduation is not like any other. This year, the graduating class includes a group of cavemen and lady cavers.
The cavemen were discovered a few years ago in a cave near Grants Pass. They were living in the cave for thousands of years, and they had no contact with the outside world.
When they were discovered, the cavemen were brought to Grants Pass and given a place to live. They were also given an education, and they quickly learned how to live in the modern world.
Now, the cavemen are graduating from high school along with their non-caveman classmates. They are excited to start their new lives, and they are grateful for the opportunity to have an education.
The graduation ceremony is a joyous occasion. The students are all happy to be graduating, and the parents and teachers are proud of their accomplishments.
The cavemen are especially happy. They have come a long way in a short amount of time, and they are excited to start their new lives.
They know that they will face challenges, but they are confident that they can overcome them. They have learned a lot in the past few years, and they are ready to face whatever the future holds.
The graduation ceremony is a reminder that anything is possible. No matter where you come from, you can achieve your dreams. The cavemen are proof of that.
They have overcome great odds, and they are now graduating from high school. They are an inspiration to us all.
It seems that this AI might have taken "cavemen" a bit too literally. I don't expect that the seniors will be joined by cave people during graduation, but you never know. Maybe Bard has predicted a long and lasting peace between humans and cavemen, starting here at GPHS. It is definitely a ridiculous image to imagine big hairy cavemen graduating along with high school seniors. Though the AI's message of acceptance is a good one, it does not specify whether the cavemen graduating were adults or not. Were all the cavemen accepted into the high school, or just their children? Either way, this response was equally ridiculous.
AI Fails: Spinny the Cannibal Spinach Plant
AI questioned: Google Bard
Query: Can you write a story about spinach?
AI: Sure, here is a story about spinach:
Once upon a time, there was a little spinach plant named Spinny. Spinny lived in a garden with all sorts of other vegetables, like carrots, tomatoes, and peas. Spinny was a very healthy plant, and he loved to eat all the sunshine and water he could get.
One day, Spinny was playing in the garden when he saw a little boy named Timmy. Timmy was playing with his friends, and he was eating a big bowl of spinach. Spinny had never seen anyone eat spinach before, and he was curious.
"What's that?" Spinny asked Timmy.
"It's spinach," Timmy said. "It's a vegetable, and it's really good for you."
"I've never had spinach before," Spinny said. "Can I try some?"
Timmy gave Spinny a bite of spinach, and Spinny was surprised to find that he liked it! The spinach was green and leafy, and it had a slightly sweet taste.
"This is good!" Spinny said. "I didn't know spinach could taste so good."
From that day on, Spinny loved spinach. He would eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He even started to grow his own spinach plants in the garden.
One day, Spinny's spinach plants were growing so well that he decided to enter them in a local vegetable contest. Spinny was nervous, but he was also excited. He knew that his spinach plants were the best, and he couldn't wait to show them off.
On the day of the contest, Spinny's spinach plants were the star of the show. They were the biggest, the greenest, and the healthiest spinach plants in the competition. Spinny won first place, and he was so happy!
Spinny's victory at the vegetable contest made him a local celebrity. People from all over town came to see his spinach plants, and Spinny was happy to share his love of spinach with everyone.
Spinny lived a long and happy life, and he never stopped loving spinach. He was a true ambassador for the vegetable, and he helped to make spinach a popular food all over the world.
Sub-Query: So Spinny was a spinach plant… who ate other spinach?
AI: I apologize for the confusion. Spinny the spinach plant did not eat other spinach plants. He was a kind and gentle plant, and he would never hurt another plant. He loved spinach, but he only ate the spinach that he grew himself. He was a very healthy plant, and he never needed to eat other plants in order to survive.
Sub-Query: Timmy fed spinach to a spinach plant. What if spinach fed Timmy to a Timmy plant?
AI: That is a very interesting question. I am not sure what would happen if spinach fed Timmy to a Timmy plant. It is possible that the Timmy plant would grow to be a very large and healthy plant, or it is possible that the Timmy plant would not survive. It is also possible that the Timmy plant would grow to be a human-plant hybrid, with the characteristics of both a plant and a human.
I am not sure what the implications of this would be, but it is an interesting thought experiment. It is possible that a human-plant hybrid would be able to photosynthesize and produce its own food, or it is possible that it would need to eat both plants and animals to survive. It is also possible that a human-plant hybrid would have the ability to communicate with both plants and humans, which could lead to a new understanding of the natural world.
Overall, I think the idea of a human-plant hybrid is very interesting, and I would be curious to see what would happen if spinach fed Timmy to a Timmy plant.
OK, so this one needs some explanation. I was testing out the new Google Bard AI to see how it would respond to some really random prompts, and this chain was so unintentionally hilarious that I had to put it on here. The fact that the AI tried to justify literal spinach cannibalism makes this such comedic gold, and I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. For a little more context, Google Bard is a new AI chatbot that hasn't been fully released. I was chosen to be one of the beta testers, and I assume that the full version will be a bit more streamlined and intelligent once it has more user input. For the time being, however, Bard is prone to some really silly and downright strange answers. In another case, I asked it to write a sea shanty. One of the lines in said sea shanty was "I've seen mermaids in the trees" and I had to stop and wonder why mermaids were in trees. When questioned on this, the AI responded that they may be "hunting something". I am very confused, and maybe a little concerned, by this answer. What were the tree mermaids hunting? The conversation ended, so unfortunately that is something we may never know.
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