Dear Pandemic,
What would happen if the very thing that has kept us inside for a whole year was a person you could write a letter to? Deenie is finally giving you this opportunity.
If the pandemic was a person: Response
By Deenie Bulyalert
Last month I put out an article regarding the pandemic. In that article I wrote a letter to the pandemic as if it were a person but what would the pandemic say if they wrote back to me? Here is what I think the pandemic would say responding to my letter.
Hi Deenie!
It was really nice to hear from you, I guess. Unlike you, it did not take me 3 times to write this letter back to you. I wasn’t really expecting a letter like that from you. We’ve only known each other for a year, but okay. I would love to hear everything else you would like to say to me if you can manage to string up enough words in that small brain of yours. Am I meant to be nice to you? Considering what you wrote in that letter, it seems you already have a bitter image of me in your head, so I will answer the question for you. I am not going to be nice to you. Who do you think YOU are? You have never even met me and now you’re saying the most hurtful things to me. It seems quite hypocritical if you are saying I hurt, while saying extremely hurtful things yourself. Here's the deal, okay? I’m glad we could come to a mutual agreement about our relationship, but you’re not that good yourself. I am not changing myself anytime soon. Your “normal” is gone and it’s never going to come back, so you better figure things out yourself. This world is mine now. You can try, but I will prevail in the end, whether you like it or not. I will take those compliments, though. I know I'm amazing. Also, I wouldn’t want to hug you anyway. Sorry this letter is short. I don’t care enough about you to waste any more time writing you a stupid letter. If you want to pour your heart out into another letter telling me how much you dislike me, go ahead, but I rule this world.
Peace and Love,
Pandemic
Submission winner!
Dear Pandemic,
Honestly, why am I even wasting my time for you? I don’t know either. I guess I’m writing this because I want to ask you some questions, so here they are.
Just, why? Why did you have to look in our direction and think, “Oh, I think I’m gonna ruin some lives this year.” Of all the things you could've done. I’m not even surprised anymore; just numb. You could start a zombie, murder hornet, riot, election apocalypse and no one would be surprised. I never thought you could bring me down as low as I am now.
You’re like a parasite, cancer, bacteria. It feels impossible to get rid of you. I will admit, you’ve caused me to say some things I’m not super proud of. Being locked down with my sister hasn't been good for our relationship. I know quarantine is there to protect us, but could you just get over yourself? You’re driving me crazy and everyone else in this world that used to be sane.
You know nobody likes you, right? Most likely, anything I say to you won’t make a difference, but just so you know, you REALLY SUCK! Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.
I don’t even remember what life was like before you. It feels like a million years ago since you came along. Heck, probably nothing will be the same after you. Even if you do eventually leave (which you BETTER!) there is no fixing what damage you’ve brought upon us.
I feel like this whole letter should’ve been in all caps, and that is not even close to how much you deserve. Do you know how it feels to have to be stuck in your home, in a dusty room staring at a screen? No friends, no teachers, no vacation, no holidays, no nothing. Even if you consider it a vacation, how are you supposed to enjoy it if you can’t even go outside of your house?
Wait. There is one good thing about you, because isn't there a bright side to every situation? No pants. Thanks for that.
I think I’m done venting, but don’t forget, you’re still the WORST!
Sincerely, Alex Hanson
