Regulation
what do we mean by regulation?
Being regulated means everything feeling “just right” . When we were babies/ young children our carers made sure everything felt “just right”, as far as possible. They got us food when we were hungry, wrapped us up in a blanket when we were cold, soothed us when startled by a loud bang. Through this care, we learn to regulate ourselves as we get older.
We have developed as a species to be on the lookout for potential threats and to sense when our brain is under stress. When the brain senses threat it begins to shut down the parts it doesn’t need for immediate survival and keeps the parts turned on (and up !)that will help us to run or fight … everything is put into helping us stay alive.
For example, our brain senses stress and becomes “dysregulated” (starts to press the panic button) when we are too hot or too cold; or too tired or in immediate danger or bored. All of these things are examples of things can that stress out the brain and make us less able to put a lid on our emotions. In the past, a threat would more likely be a physical threat, such as a bear coming at you. But today’s threats are more to do with day to day living - such as how to pay the bills; how to get through all your work; getting all of jobs done in the house.
In general, when our brain senses threat and feels out of balance, we know how to sort it.
We know when we are getting grumpy because we are hungry and go and get a snack. We know we need a holiday because work is getting overwhelming.
However, even as adults there are times when we cannot use our thinking power to put a lid on our feelings and stay regulated. Sometimes things do not feel just right and we show this through our behaviour - getting grumpy with your partner; crying over something seemingly small Etc.
it’s just the same for children.
Except their brains are still developing so it is harder for them to stay regulated when under stress.
Readiness_for_Learning_for_Brains_ (1).mp4Recently scientists have discovered a lot more about how the brain develops and how it responds to stress.
Remember this video from earlier?
Through the work of people like Bruce Perry we now know that the brain develops in a particular order - from the bottom up, and from the inside out.
When we are stressed, the brain turns off its thinking brain (at the top -”upstairs brain”) and instead uses the lower parts of the brain (downstairs brain) that are designed to ensure our survival.
The difficulty with using the lower parts of the brain to make decisions is that they are reactive and not able to use logic.
Handy when you need to run away from a threat - not so useful when the person in the queue in front of you is being too slow and making you late for something!
That is why you can’t reason with someone when they are having a tantrum!
To switch the top (thinking) part of your brain back on, we need to do the kinds of things that these lower down parts of the brain like.
That helps to soothe them, switch off the “red alert” signals and allows the top “thinking” bit of the brain to come back online.
We have to signal to the brain in a specific order to switch off the “red alert” - from the bottom of the brain to the top.
Click below to learn more about each stage of the Sequence of Engagement
regulate
Soothe the lower parts of the brain
relate
Alongside another trusted person
reason
Then think about it