Using behaviour to tell us how they are feeling
Sometimes it is easier for our children to show us how they feel with their behaviour than tell us with their words
Sometimes it is easier for our children to show us how they feel with their behaviour than tell us with their words
When we are feeling stressed it makes it harder for us to think. This is true for our children too, but their brains are less mature than ours, which means that when they are stressed they often return to using behaviours they used as a younger child. So you will have teenagers who have tantrums! Remember children can be at different stages in their development at any one time - ahead in some and behind in others.
When we are feeling stressed it makes it harder for us to think. This is true for our children too, but their brains are less mature than ours, which means that when they are stressed they often return to using behaviours they used as a younger child. So you will have teenagers who have tantrums! Remember children can be at different stages in their development at any one time - ahead in some and behind in others.
When we see behaviours we don’t like, instead of reacting emotionally (which can be really hard to do!) try to think - what is this behaviour telling me?
When we see behaviours we don’t like, instead of reacting emotionally (which can be really hard to do!) try to think - what is this behaviour telling me?
Hidden-Needs (2).pdfWatch this short video to hear some more suggested strategies
behcom.mp4
Reducing the “emotional temperature” is to speak in a calm quiet voice, use open friendly body language and facial expressions.
Commentate aloud. Saying “I can see you feel..” Or “that makes me feel…Children can be frightened by their emotions, so by saying what they are feeling that can make it feel more manageable. “It must be OK because Dad knows what it is...”
Use natural consequences. We are often told that children’s behaviour should be punished so they understand there is a “consequence”. But it is important to recognise when there has already been a natural consequence. You being angry or their toy being broken is a natural consequence.