BY ALEX OSTBERG, OCT 9, 2025
Spend a few minutes around high performers and you’ll notice it right away: they carry themselves differently. It’s not swagger or ego. It’s intentionality. They move through the world with a sense of authorship. High-achieving people don’t wait to see what the day brings; they actively shape it.
The same is true of great teams. I’ve written before about the culture that defined our college program – how our coaching staff managed to convince a group of 18 to 22-year-olds to get excited about not living like typical college students. You can’t afford to live a “normal” college life if you want to be a great athlete.
Excellence requires a counterculture. You have to swim upstream. As Coach Milt explains in this podcast, don’t be a passenger, be a driver in your life. Whether it’s individuals or groups, the best environments make the right behaviors automatic and the wrong ones difficult.
Naval Ravikant once said, “You have one life. Don’t settle for mediocrity.” That’s harder now than ever. Modern technology has engineered difficulty out of our lives. Comfort, convenience, and distraction have become default settings, and entire industries profit from keeping it that way.
But there is a way to reach escape velocity. To be above average isn’t just a matter of talent or luck. It’s an act of resistance.
If you don’t actively choose a way to live, then society and the inertia of life will push you into a worse way.
Consider the measurable averages of American Life:
The average person walks fewer than 5,000 steps per day
Spends 7 hours per day staring at a screen (for Gen Z, it’s 9 hours)
Spends more time alone now than at any point since 1965
More than 50% of Americans don’t have enough saved to cover a $1,000 emergency
I don’t share this to pass judgment. Not all success is due to hard work, and not all failure is due to laziness. The point isn’t moral superiority—it’s awareness. Because once you realize how low the bar has fallen, you stop mistaking “normal” for “acceptable.” Average isn’t something to strive for.
“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.” -C.S. Lewis
One reason I love distance running is that it forces you to be above average on multiple fronts. You can’t train seriously without becoming more disciplined, more resilient, and more deliberate.
Runners adopt an identity that reminds them they’re not like everyone else. It is a way of life that continually reaffirms the value of being different. As James Clear says, every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become. Lacing up your running shoes daily is one way to do this.
You won’t always get what you strive for, but you’ll definitely get what you settle for. Winners and losers share the same goals. The difference is that champions design their lives around higher standards.
They do this by considering multiple angles.
Surroundings: If you don’t curate the people in your life, the people who end up surrounding you will be there by chance and not choice. Maybe your high school friends are ambitious and grounded, but odds are, they’re average. Intentionally surround yourself with excellence. The easiest way to elevate your behavior is to join a culture where your desired behavior is already the norm.
Reference group: In a recent podcast on The Running Effect, Charles Hicks had a memorable quote: “If you’re worried about making teams, you’re not going to be winning medals.” The point he’s trying to make is that expectations shape reality. Most people are trying to survive and advance (even if it’s by the smallest margin possible). Others will try to console themselves after a bad race by comparing down to those who underperformed. The best are playing a different game entirely. The real competition isn’t against everyone who toes the line—it’s against the few who actually believe they can win. The moment you decide to win, your behavior, focus, and standards change.
Behavior & Decisions: Discipline is more reliable than motivation. It’s far easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. Naval Ravikant also advises: “When faced with two equal choices, pick the one that’s harder in the short term.” Your brain is biased because it naturally overvalues short-term comfort. A useful heuristic: easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. Coach Hagen: This is the essence of "The Harder Right instead of the Easier Wrong."
Personal Excellence: We tend to be less concerned with actual greatness than with casting the appearance of greatness. True excellence isn’t about meeting other people’s expectations; it’s about living up to your own. It’s always better to disappoint others than to disappoint yourself.
Kobe Bryant captured this mindset perfectly. In an interview with Ahmad Rashad, he was asked whether the expectations of fans added pressure during a difficult season. Kobe scoffed and replied, “Their expectations will never be higher than my own. Never, never, never, never.” If other people’s expectations exceed your own, you’re probably in the wrong job.
Breaking away from the average doesn’t just require personal discipline; it demands social courage.
When you’re on the rise, everybody cheers for you because you remind them of their dreams. No one resents you for doing worse than they do. But when you start getting too far ahead, the tone changes. You begin to remind them of what they gave up on.
There is a fitting example that resonates here. If you put one crab in a bucket, it will crawl out. If you put multiple crabs in a bucket, they will pull each other down every time one tries to crawl out. After repeated escape attempts, other crabs may even break their legs.
When your growth exposes the stagnation of your friend group, the natural reaction isn’t always positive. The journey of self-improvement may come with a lonely chapter —an in-between stage where you’ve outgrown a group that no longer understands you, but haven’t yet found the next one that matches your ambition.
In his last shareholder letter as CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos implored his audience to be distinctive.
The world wants you to be typical,” he says. “In a thousand ways, it pulls at you. Don’t let it happen. You have to pay a price for distinctiveness, and it’s worth it.”
Average will come and find you. But you have to go hunting for greatness.
Reflecting on The ROI of Exercise. Some people think that exercising is a waste of time. I couldn't disagree more. Aside from the benefits like improved sleep, better immune function, and better cognitive function, exercise has a huge return on investment: it improves and expands quality of life.
Studies show that exercise extends health span, which is the time you spend without major chronic diseases and with adequate physical and cognitive function to enjoy life. Current estimates say that exercise a few times a week increases expected lifespan by 3 to 10 years.
If a good exercise routine is performed 2 to 4 days a week for at least 45 minutes, this totals about 3 hours a week or 156 hours per year. Over an adult lifetime, that's about 8,500 hours of exercise, or about a year of solid physical activity.
So, in exchange for one year of physical activity, you gain 3 to 10 years of better health and quality of life. That sounds like a good ROI to me, not to mention all the social, emotional, and mental benefits from exercise.
"If exercise could be packed into a pill, it would be the single most widely prescribed, and beneficial, medicine in the nation."