Sunday Family Humour 30th June Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

MuleTrading

Thanks to David M.

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Starkville , MS.

and bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said,

"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."

Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy

at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.

"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"

They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."

Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece

and made a profit of $998."

The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset.

So we gave him his two dollars back."

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.

Limit all U.S. politicians to two Terms.

One in office

One in prison

Unusual Pictures

Thanks to Ray O'.

Asian Pile Driver

Thanks to Ray O'.

The recent, horrible and tragic building collapses in South Asia have already resulted in the adoption of new building construction standards and practices in a regulatory effort to ensure this type of disaster never again occurs.

Only a month after more than 1,100 Bangladeshi garment workers lost their lives in the collapse of a badly-built and poorly-maintained eight-story building, the new building code has gone into force Its rigid practices are already being applied by highly-skilled and properly-trained construction teams labouring on job-sites all across the sub-continent.

So You Think You Are Having a Bad Day 2

Thanks to John H.

Human Castles

Thanks to David H

GAS/SERVICE STATIONS IN THE 1920's

Thanks to David H.

Texaco Gasoline Filling Station

But what is that contraption with the ramps?

The mechanism appears to be driven by the cars wheels.

Hydraulic lines go to that can with a raised top.

What could it be? A pump for lubing a car's under parts?

The sign does say "Havoline" which was Texaco's brand name for its oil products.

An early engine dynamometer?

Maybe it's a primitive car wash.

I guess there were no signage limitations back then.

I count eleven Texaco signs on that station.

Land wasn't at a premium then like it is now.

Note the wide open layout and the nice row of little trees.

This was a Texaco Gasoline Motor Oil Service Station.

The concept had become a "service station," which included more than just filling your tank.

They even filled it FOR you, no "self-service" needed.

At one location, you could fill up your tank,

get a loan so as to look prosperous with a new suit, and have a meal

while your spark plugs were changed.

Ford Sales and Service.

Look at all those Model T's.

Simplicity.

No name gas and motor oil for 20 cents a quart. Wow.

Dome Gas. You better try it 'cause "It's Better."

It better be good since they want 23 cents a gallon for it!

Lemans' Tire Shop. Barney Oldfield tires only $9.99 each.

Sounds kind of expensive to me.

Note the water can by the side of the road and the barricades around the trees.

I guess people just drove up on the sidewalk to get their tires, and the trees were in the way.

Here we have Super Motor Fuel.

I hear Dome Gas is better but this stuff is SUPER.

Note the name of the station "Toot-An-Kum-In."

King Tut was big news in the 20's so why not capitalize on it.

This is a really modern looking station with the full roof and multiple islands of pumps.

AMOCO Gas (still around today) but what does "filtered " mean?

Obviously they consider other gas to be "dirty."

Four Wheel Drive Autos sales and service.

The SUV's of the 20's.

4WD gas is only 20 cents a gallon!

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FENDER SKIRTS AND SUPPER

Thanks to Cory

I know some of you will not understand this message,

but I bet you know someone who might.

I came across this phrase yesterday.

'FENDER SKIRTS'

A term I haven't heard in a long time, and thinking about

'fender skirts' started me thinking about other words that

quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice like

'curb feelers'

And 'steering knobs.' (AKA)

'suicide knob,' 'neckers knobs.'

Since I'd been thinking of cars,

my mind naturally went that direction first.

Any kids will probably have to find some older person

over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember 'Continental kits?'

They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers

that were supposed to make any car

as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

When did we quit calling them 'emergency brakes?

At some point 'parking brake' became the proper term.

But I miss the hint of drama that went with 'emergency brake.'

I'm sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone

who would call the accelerator the 'foot feed.'

Many today do not even know what a clutch is

or that the dimmer switch used to be on the floor.

For that matter, the starter was down there too.

Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy

to come home, so you could ride the

'running board' up to the house?

Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth

but never anymore - 'store-bought.'

Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days.

But once it was bragging material to have a

store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.

'Coast to coast' is a phrase that once held all sorts

of excitement and now means almost nothing.

Now we take the term 'worldwide' for granted.

This floors me.

On a smaller scale, 'wall-to-wall' was once

a magical term in our homes.

In the '50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors

with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting!

Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting

with hardwood floors. Go figure.

When was the last time you heard the quaint phrase

'in a family way?'

It's hard to imagine that the word 'pregnant'

was once considered a little too graphic,

a little too clinical for use in polite company,

so we had all that talk about stork visits and

'being in a family way' or simply 'expecting.'

Apparently 'brassiere' is a word no longer in usage.

I said it the other day and everyone cracked up.

I guess it's just 'bra' now.

'Unmentionables' probably wouldn't be understood at all.

I always loved going to the 'picture show,'

but I considered 'movie' an affectation.

Most of these words go back to the '50s,

but here's a pure '60s word I came across

the other day 'rat fink.'

Ooh, what a nasty put-down!

Here's a word I miss - 'percolator.'

That was just a fun word to say.

And what was it replaced with 'Coffee maker.'

How dull... Mr. Coffee, I blame you for this.

I miss those made-up marketing words that were

meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro.

Words like 'Dyna Flow' and 'Electrolux' and 'Frigidaire'.

We were introduced to the 1963 Admiral TV,

now it's

'Flat Screen Video'

Food for thought.

Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago?

Nobody complains of that anymore.

Maybe that's what Castor oil cured,

because I never hear mothers threatening kids

with Castor Oil anymore.

Some words aren't gone, but are definitely

on the endangered list.

The one that grieves me most is 'supper.'

Now everybody says 'dinner.' Save a great word.

Invite someone to supper. Discuss fender skirts.

I thought some of us of a 'certain age'

would remember most of these.

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