Sunday Family Humour 11th August Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

The Door

Thanks to David H.

Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind,

only to completely forget what that purpose was?

Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an Event Boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.

Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that damn door!

Pictures of Spain

Thanks to Lee

My Next Vehicle

Thanks to Fritz

The Week in Pictures

Thanks to Chris A.

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Police Humour

Thanks to David M.

Southern cops have a way with words These are actual comments made by

South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

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2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

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3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

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4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

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5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

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6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

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7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.

Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

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8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

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9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

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10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides,

eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

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11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

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12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center)

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13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

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14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

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15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours.

So you know someone who can post your bail."

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AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

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All of a Sudden It Came To Me

Thanks to Tony H.

My dogs Secret...

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighbourhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head...

I think my dog is an IMMIGRANT!

Just For a Laugh

Thanks to David H.

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