Sunday Family Humour 16th June Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Headlines from 2059

Thanks toD avid M.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony..

They Had simultaneous Headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with Only 3 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

Stop organized crime.

Re-elect no one.

Algebra

Thanks to Tony H.

Bizarre Photos

Thanks to Ray O'.

PHOTOSBIZARRES3

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How to Open a Beer

Thanks to Ray O'.

Comparing 1962 with 2012

Thanks to David H.

1962 was a good year, It really does not seem to be that long ago.

1962 vs. 2012 (a span of only 50 YEARS)

This should be sent only to those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it...

1962: Long hair

2012: Longing for hair

1962: KEG

2012: EKG

1962: Acid rock

2012: Acid reflux

1962: Moving to California because it's cool

2012: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2012: TryingNOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1962: Seeds and stems

2012: Roughage

1962: Hoping for a BMW

2012: Hoping for a BM

1962: Going to a new, hip joint

2012: Receiving a new hip joint

1962: Rolling Stones

2012: Kidney Stones

1962: Passing the drivers' test

2012: Passing the vision test

Just in case you weren't feeling too old enough today, this will certainly change things.

Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1993!