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Yes, they fit with conflict resilience, and also conflict transformation... and regen actually! Listening circles can be crucibles for alchemy!
Toni
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Toni, I’m also feeling energized by your enthusiasm. So glad to hear your experiences with listening circles. Such an articulate testimonial about listening, that I would like to share with others.
Talking about politicians. This is an Empathy Forum where we had politicians talk with each other in an empathy circle instead of in a debate.
https://sites.google.com/site/empathytent/pop-ups/2018-04-07-empathy-forum Edwin
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(Empathy Circle with Edwin, Sam, Jessica)
Great to talk the other day. I found the Empathy Circle practice quite stirring. Valuable, thankyou.
I've had a good chat about Empathy Circles with Paul and Indra. I think if its OK we will join the meeting on the 21st as that seems to have momentum. We wondered what do you need from us with respect to promoting that, or helping to prepare for it?
I discussed Empathy Circles in terms of the order of complexity. The idea that Empathy Circles represents a 'foundational practice' resonated strongly. It prompted a discussion into the nature of any dialogue that might involve such emotive material (i.e climate change) and how we might encourage users of the hub to think a bit about the kinds of issues that might be raised using such powerful techniques .
That is of course a subject that bears upon all the techniques offered in the hub, and XR culture more generally. It became apparent that there are issues here that require ongoing reflection. To this end Indra will work on a piece for the hub about foundational regenerative processes, reflecting the wider XR culture of investing in an active regenerative practice. I think this will provide important context for the offerings, usefully supporting users of the hub and helping to propagate the seeds of a regenerative culture outward.
Looking forward to that zoom cafe and do please let us know how we can assist in getting that set up.
Kind regards
Sam
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Hi Sam
Glad to hear you found the empathic listening valuable. I also find it very valuable and if fits in well with the values of XR.
It does seem Friday, June 21, 10 AM PST/ 6 PM BST
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I hope this email finds you well. We had a network hub meeting a couple of days ago and there was a lot of interest in having Empathy Circles as an offering on the network hub. Also we would like to go ahead with the Empathy Circle Zoom Cafe ideas.
In the first instance, the network hub is a fairly simple text based google doc at the present time. The idea is to get the content really solid before we roll it out to the XR community and beyond. We would like an introductory document initially to explain Empathy Circles, and maybe a link to a simple instructional/introductory video? But we are open to your input here of course.
In terms of the cafe's we are planning a series of training events that use the zoom platform and thought it would be a good idea to schedule the cafe's in with that series. How does that sound? We don't have a fixed date for that yet.
Happy to email or arrange a chat to discuss all of this further.
Anyway let me know how you would like to proceed with regards the introductory materials and subsequent cafe meetings.
Kind regards
Sam
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I've just spoken to Edwin Rutsch who has created an amazing body of work and practice foregrounding empathy as a tool to bridge divides. I often see him and colleagues setting up Empathy tents in many different social and political contexts to put empathy on the table.His persistence and dedication is really inspiring to me.
He is talking to some people within XR about spreading the practice of Empathy circles which he has copious material, videos and information about. He's also interested in agreements around asking people to bring any conflicts to an empathy circle and making an empathic dialogue between XR and government another demand , which I love the idea of.
I'm sharing with you, as you are working within regenerative culture and/or are crucial to forward planning around nonviolence
this is his website … http://cultureofempathy.com/
and this is some information about his ideas http://j.mp/2YWzbPY
all love
Ceri
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Wow! Ceri, this is exciting. I have learned so much more from sitting in empathy circles than from attending academic conferences. They are incredibly transformative for everyone who takes part, and can have lasting impact when practised regularly.
As you may recall, I have lots of experience of them in Israel-Palestine, where they are called Listening Circles. It seems that those circles are larger than the ones Edwin describes so more time is spent listening to different people, but they're fundamentally rooted in practises of empathy and self-empathy, even if they use a different kind of language.
Some diverse peace groups use these Listening Circles as an essential, regular dialogue practice. Facilitators also go to sites of violent conflict and set up Peace Tents in the town square where they host Listening Circles. Apart from the first NVC Day in London where we used Listening Circles to address the tensions after the referendum, I've been using them for difficult conversations in interfaith dialogue.
I've heard politicians speak at dialogue events where listening circles are happening, and I witnessed a powerful listening exercise in the House of Commons once, (I've also read about NV activists calling CEOs out of their homes to engage in dialogue) but I'm not sure I've ever seen a politician or CEO sit in an empathy circle with ordinary civilians. That's an interesting thought!
This is very powerful work. I really hope we get this off the ground...
Toni
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An empathy circle, as a response to a conflict situation, might be a viable response for the Conflict resilience team to consider when considering options so embedding the practice of empathy/listening circles very helpful. Sounds like Toni might be up for being on the ground in London, with this, as am I.
all best
Ceri
is the time that has some momentum. This could be the meeting to talk about how to incorporate Empathy Circles in XR, for us to meet each other and everyone to take part in a prototype empathy circle.
First XR Empathy Cafe - Friday, June 21, 10 AM PST/ 6 PM BST
Location: We use Zoom video conferencing Meeting Room URL: https://zoom.us/j/9896109339
Click on the link to enter the Zoom video conferencing room.
(2 hours)
2. Are you on Facebook? Can you friend me at https://www.facebook.com/edwin.rutsch
3. Feel free to bring anyone else that you think would be good to have in this initial Empathy Café.
Warmly
Edwin
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Hi Edwin,
Sorry for my slow reply. I didn't forget about this. I just need some time to take a proper look at your work. I hadn't realised this initiative was international and online. Til now, we've been working very locally so I assumed you were in the UK and I was amazed to learn that someone else in the UK is running empathy circles that I didn't know!
I believe that the Listening Circles I studied in the Middle East are rooted in Native American ritual and travelled to Israel-Palestine via the Rainbow Gatherings of North America, so I imagine we may have some common ground, literally, as well as figuratively. At the same time, there do appear to be some differences. I am curious to experience your approach and to find out where you're all based are and what your teams and hubs are doing.
Your proposal for the meeting makes a lot of sense to me: starting with sharing your practice and taking time to digest that before shifting into organiser mode. Personally, I find this deep emotional work is most powerful face-to-face where it is more easily embodied and where grounding, connection and healing are supported by sharing space and celebration (sharing food, music etc). I also find that the circle has a power of its own, which can't quite be captured in Zoom conferencing, despite its many merits. Nevertheless, there is so much that needs to be done, and so much that we can do. Working together online can enable us to connect, share, support each other and, most importantly, get started.
I feel we are arriving at a tipping point where people are beginning to understand the need for this work and ask for it, directly or indirectly... in XR and beyond. I would love to be ready for that moment.
So... I'm really looking forward to meeting you all in cyberspace and weaving local and global...
Warmly,
Toni
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Meeting Participants are from these 3 groups;
1. Several people from our Empathy Team. (What is this?)
2. Sam and a couple of others from the XR Network Hub group. (What is this?)
3. You(Ceri), Toni and your community of XR people. Do you have an idea of how many people are interested?
I've met some people who expressed a general interest, and I could try to track them down and invite them. But since most people in the UK have never heard of empathy circles and we already have quite a large group for an online meeting, it would probably be more manageable and fruitful to start smallish. Let us know if you have something else in mind.
Schedule a series of Online Empathy Cafes for XR.
The Empathy Team could facilitate a weekly (or so) online Empathy Cafe for global XR community.
Topic: (not sure of what topics, are needed, are of interest or would be most effective?) I would like to hear ideas of what would be an effective topic.
I'm hearing requests for conflict resolution techniques. Currently in the UK, we have a conflict over strategy. Many conflicts are over strategy, so particular strategies can be effective topics, but the circles need to be held well.
It's not difficult to find topics. I find the challenge is more about how to frame the topic. Effective topics are anything that concerns most people in XR, especially when there are different approaches or understandings. Topics can be related to any of our demands, principles or values. Examples might be NVDA, arrests, legal concerns, individual efforts to care for the environment (eg. veganism, recycling), XR efforts to care for the environment (policies/practices), Nonviolent Culture, issues regarding gender relations, diversity/inclusion, money matters, dealing with the media, climate science, problems, questions... the kind of things that people post on Facebook!
Toni
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You ask, How to assist?
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From: Edwin Rutsch
Sent: Wednesday, June 26, 2019 4:16:34 PM
Subject: Exploring Conflict: What if we held an Empathy Café series to address conflict in XR?
Hi April
I had some ideas from taking part in your Exploring Conflict Call yesterday.
https://www.facebook.com/events/2151360188323832/
Hosted by XR Conflict Resilience and Restorative Systems
https://www.facebook.com/XRConflictResilience
What if we held a weekly Empathy Café series to address conflict in XR?
Topic, something like:
Empathy Café: How might we constructively address and transform conflict in Extinction Rebellion?
(the topic could be refined):
We would use the empathy circle practice. We could try it during your regularly scheduled Exploring Conflict calls or set up a new series.
We would use the Empathy Café structure:
1. Quick introductions (name, location, XR group)
2. Short explanation of the empathy circle practice. http://j.mp/HowToEmpathy
3. Divide into Empathy Circles of 4 or 5 people, with a facilitator in each. Talk about the topic.
4. 15 min before end, come together and do a round to discuss the experience.
Some Benefits of this
1. Using empathic listening (active listening), is a way to learn and practice the skill and mindset
2. The call would be recorded and posted to YouTube and Facebook. This way people can also learn the practice by watching the video
3. This is a gateway practice to other more detailed practices like restorative circles, mediation practices, etc.
Let me know what you think
Warmly,
Edwin
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Sent: On Thu, Jun 27, 2019 at 1:24 PM april griefsong <aprilgriefsong@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hi Edwin
Thank you for joining us on Tuesday. You contribution was valuable and I think we can both see the collaborative learning it introducing empathy cafes to XR.
However, my biggest concern would be recording the sessions. While we are rooted in open communications and transparency in our movement, - when dialogue begins about what truly matters to us, it is not always advisable to allow free access.
Folks forget it is being recorded and reveal things about themselves or their lives that they wish were not quite so public. Perhaps a series of cafes with a tightly held focus could be considered. Let me have a think.
It is coming to me that I might like one to engage XR community in dialogue about how to build a more accessible Restorative system for conflict. I shall get back to after next week - a bit of a Biggie this week.
A deep bow of gratitude.
April x
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Sent: Thursday, June 27, 2019 6:21 AM
Subject: Re: Exploring Conflict: What if we held an Empathy Café series to address conflict in XR?
The recording is not necessary nor obligatory. We often do not record for various reasons, including the ones you mentioned.
regards
karOlina Kubiak
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RE: Exploring Conflict: What if we held an Empathy Café series to address conflict in XR?
Sent: Thu 6/27/2019
Hi April and all.
To begin setting up a work group, we scheduled some meetings for the next couple of Fridays. Hope you can join us. See.
Empathy Circle - Extinction Rebellion Work Group Forming
As Karolina mentioned, the Empathy Cafes/Empathy Circles do not need to be recorded. It depends on what is wanted and the context.
Advantage of recording
- the recording can be used as a model for others to watch. Seeing how it works makes it easier for others to learn from it. People mentioned they watched a empathy circle recording and know better how to do the process.
- sharing of the insights expressed.
- transparency.
- documenting and note taking.
Disadvantage
- people may not be as open about personal issues if they know it is recorded.
Restorative Systems, Regenerative Cultures, Culture of Empathy
I see empathy and Empathy Circles, or mutual empathic listening as a foundational practice. It is a simple and accessible first step to mediation and practices like Restorative Circles and other Restorative Practices.
“Empathy is the power of understanding others, imaginatively entering into their feelings. It is a fundamental human attribute, without which mutually cooperative societies cannot function.”
Peter Bazalgette, Chair of Arts Council England from 2012 - 2016
As author Simon Baron-Cohen from University of Cambridge says,
"Empathy is vital for subtle communication, sensitive social interaction, fine-tuned social awareness, and rapid, accurate responses to others' non-verbal indicators of their changing mental states.
Practical benefits of empathy are how a parent can '”read” their infant's needs, how a dispute can be diffused before it leads to conflict, how different perspectives can be appreciated, and how we can live not just in our own heads but in others' heads too."
A dialogue about building restorative systems would work. something like.
How might we build a more accessible Restorative System for conflict in XR?
I look forward to hearing back and possible next steps.
Warmly
Edwin