Have you ever noticed how many things come in 3's?
The Three Musketeers
The Three Stooges
The Three Fates
Neapolitan ice cream
Then of course there's thoughts, feelings and behaviors!
Oh, I know, you might not think they go together exactly, but they do, let me give you an example:
If I were afraid of lawn mowers --which I'm totally not--why would anyone be afraid of lawn mowers?
That's ridiculous
Anyway, if I were afraid of lawn mowers, how would that emotion affect my behavior?
I might avoid them, but, if I keep avoiding lawn mowers, then start to become even more scary in my mind.
The fear might make me start avoiding them, and the fear could grow, and I might never even go into the yard, for the fear of stumbling into someone else mowing their yard, and I would never get to know them as anything other than scary beasts!
So, I avoid them even more, and the whole thing becomes a negative spiral
This actually reminds me of a story about a coworker of mine whose actions were similarly impacted by his emotions
Reggie, our public relations manager woke up one morning and thought to himself: "I just can't face today. I'm not good enough at my job. They're going to fire me soon. It's probably best if I don't even go into the office"
Tough thoughts to deal with, and according to the cognitive triad, these thoughts would impact Reggie's emotions and behavior!
I didn't tell you about the Cognitive Triad, did I?
It's the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and actions are all influenced by one another.
So, what emotion do you think might result from Reggie's thoughts?
Yeah, likely hopelessness, or a feeling of being helpless. The more Reggie thinks this way, the more likely he is to feel that way, too.
Thoughts affect emotions.
The more hopeless he feels, the more likely he is to think thoughts like this, and the feedback loop intensifies.
What behavior might then happen from this loop of thoughts and feelings?
Yep, he might stay home.
Reggie would likely struggle to go into the office when thinking this way
Thoughts can affect actions
Then, the more Reggie avoids work, the more likely he is to have thoughts like those.
Thus, actions affect thoughts
The cycle can go around and around worsening each aspect of things, but, there is good news!
Using CBT skills (like thought challenging) can help stop the cycle from worsening, AND start moving it in a more helpful direction!
When we challenged Reggie's negative thoughts, he was able to list some good qualities he brought to his work and ways he does contribute
For one thing, he discussed how he is really good at promoting the company in media interviews, and his team thought he really nailed last quarter's presentation!
By challenging his negative thoughts with CBT techniques, he didn't feel so helpless.
That impacted his thoughts and actions too!
Since thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are linked, we can tinker with any of them to stop the negative spiral, and create a positive outcome instead!
So that's how you can start a positive loop.
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