Sometimes getting started is the most daunting part and weddings are no exception. I had no idea where to start, just a long list of things that needed done. There is no need to panic however, Wichita Falls Wedding Photography because here is a timeline checklist.
While all weddings are different, there will be some things that are the same for each one. Here is a handy timeline checklist to help keep you on track. Some of the timing may be different, don’t panic!, this is just to keep you on track. There is a lot to do but try to have fun and enjoy. This is a one-in-a-lifetime experience.
12-8 MONTHS TO GO
Announce your engagement. Lots of people now do this on Facebook but keep in mind that some close family members will be upset if they find out this way.
Decide what type of ceremony you want. You can have a civil or a religious ceremony.
Set a Date. Discuss with your fiancé what dates are good. Think about what season you want to get married in. Summer is popular but autumn and winter weddings are just as beautiful. Getting married in summer is also more expensive as it is peak wedding season.
Set a budget. This will help when you come to do your guest list and book your venue. Working with the budget you have is very important to stop it spiraling out of control. Stick to your budget as much as possible. It is easy to see your wedding as a once-in-a-lifetime experience and go crazy thinking this is a one-off day that you will remember for the rest of your life. Well, it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you will remember for the rest of your life but not because of the napkins or the favours: what you will remember is marrying the love of your life and how wonderful it was to have all of your favourite people in the one room at the same time. It is not the superficial things that make a wedding, but the people involved.
Start creating a guest list. Apart from close friends and family who will definitely be there, do not let anyone know they are invited yet. You may have to cut your budget or decide you did not want that person there after all. The key thing here is to not just invite everyone you have ever met. I will say this a lot in this book: weddings are expensive! Every single person will cost you a lot of money. Don’t just invite ‘friends’ you haven’t even seen in years who only contact you when they want something or the cousin who has always been horrible to you and makes you feel miserable. It is your wedding day and if people get upset that they were not invited then tough. If you do value someone’s friendship however then do invite them. If you do not invite someone to your wedding and they thought you were a close friend it will very probably ruin your friendship unless you make it very clear that you are just having a small, intimate wedding which is mostly just family.
Decide on bridesmaids, maid of honour, best man and ushers. Then tell them. They will delighted. Hopefully.
Send Save The Date cards or email/call people to let them know the date. I think emailing is fine and then send out proper paper invites about six weeks before.
Research and book your wedding venue. hitched.com is particularly good for this. Just put in the area where you live and loads of venues will be listed. You can then email them or request a brochure. This is how I found our wedding venue, the London Rowing Club. I knew immediately it was ‘The One’. It goes without saying that you should see a wedding venue before you book it.
Book your photographer and videographer. Do your research and try to get feedback from people they have worked with before.
Consider whether to get wedding insurance. We didn’t but our wedding wasn’t very expensive.
Book your honeymoon. The earlier you book, the cheaper it will be.
Find the perfect dress. This is the fun part. I bought my wedding dress with my mother, father and even my brother and fiancé were there. My fiancé didn’t see the dress as he is very superstitious but my mother cried, my dad had a tear in his eye and even my brother said I looked amazing. For many bridal boutiques you will have to book an appointment to see the dresses. Some even charge a fee as high as £50. Be fussy about ones that charge, especially if it is a lot of money. It will add up.
Research accommodation for guests near the venue if you are getting married in the country or abroad. It is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated.
Book florist. They will be able to tell you which flowers are in season. A good florist will be a great help.
Book caterer. The earlier the better.
Book band or DJ.
Pick your wedding colours. More important than you think. Will be needed for buying the flowers and doing the decoration.
Book a makeup artist and hair stylist if you are having one.
Book a Master of Ceremonies if you need one and the venue does not provide one. You could get a family member to do this too. Sometimes the personal touch really works.
7-5 MONTHS TO GO
Order invitations and other wedding stationery. We got our amazing wedding invitations on eBay.
Order wedding cake.
Book transportation.
Get outfits for wedding party.
Order wedding rings.
Set up your own wedding website if you want.
Consider buying new honeymoon wardrobe.
Choose and buy venue decoration.
Choose and buy wedding favours.
Organise the date for the hen and stag do with friends. After this leave it to them to plan it. I now have the best piece of advice I can possibly give: do not have the stag/hen do the weekend before the wedding. Nor the week before the wedding. Do it TWO WEEKS before the wedding at least. I begged my husband and his friends to have the stag do two weeks before but no one listened and I ended up spending my wedding night in A&E, in my wedding dress. It was not an enjoyable experience and at one point I even almost got sectioned as they thought I was just some random woman walking around wearing a wedding dress. If you take nothing else from this book, at least take this. You may also want to point out to your fiancé and his friends that you don’t have to get completely smashed to have a good time. (To be fair to my husbands’ friends he did have two stag nights and was stressed.)
4-2 MONTHS TO GO
Print menus and order of service. Watch out for any spelling mistakes.
Finalise menu with caterer.
Order alcohol. We got ours from a wonderful villa in Tuscany. It wasn't as expensive as it sounds.
Send out invites and make sure they have information on venue, accommodation, transportation and your gift list information.
Choose and order flowers.
Make sure your passports are valid.
Register and do your gift list.
Check times and any other details with your suppliers.
Decide on readings, music and hymns with registrar/officiant.
Organise your banns if getting married in a church.
Meet with registrar and go over vows and order of service.
Start working on speeches.
1 MONTH TO GO.
Buy gifts for bridesmaids and the rest of the wedding party.
Have final fittings and arrange date to pick up outfits.
Make sure you are not missing anything important: shoes, garter, veil, tights/stockings, underwear or cufflinks, shirt and shoes for groom.
Inform wedding party members of their duties for the day. Let them know what will happen and send over an order of service.
Buy guestbook and any final touches.
Confirm final numbers with caterers. Make sure you send along any dietary requirements of guests.
Do your seating plan.
Send out invitations.
Book hair and makeup trial.
Organise any extra entertainment. If there will be children coming you may want a children’s table with fun activities to keep them entertained.
Make sure you get any injections you will need for your honeymoon.
Finalise details with all of your suppliers. Confirm all bookings.
Write down all of the details of your suppliers and any other people involved in your wedding and then give it to a member of the wedding party in case anything goes wrong and people need to be chased up.
Buy or make wedding favours.
Finalise your wedding playlist and make sure the last dance song and any other instructions are clearly stated. Also mark out ceremony music and cake cutting music. Our uncle Matthew played the lute at our wedding and not only was he amazing but it added a truly wonderful and unique touch. If you have a friend or family member who is a talented musician then ask them if they will play during the ceremony or maybe do a set or two? It could be your wedding present from them and they will probably be flattered you asked.
Finalise your speeches. Practice will help too. It is quite nerve-wracking making a speech.
Finalise the order of service.
Make or buy place cards.
Book first night hotel.
Book any beauty treatments.
Arrange for a friend or member of the wedding party to return any rented items.
THE FINAL WEEK.
Panic. Only kidding.
Pick up your wedding dress.
Pay everyone who needs paying.
Finalise the seating plan.
Wear in wedding shoes.
Pack for the honeymoon.
Clean your engagement ring.
Have a once over everything.
And if you want to be super organised…write the thank you cards for wedding gifts that have been ordered. This will take the pressure off post-wedding and people will be impressed at how speedy you were.
Put together an emergency kit of painkiller, mini-hairspray, tights, pins, mints, makeup and anything else you can think of.
The Night Before
Decorate the venue if you are required to do so.
Drop off the alcohol and any other supplies at the venue.
Make sure you are all packed for the honeymoon. Don’t forget the passports!
Get or give yourself a manicure.
Check over everything. Make sure that both of your outfits are complete. Check your shoes and accessories too.
And relax. Have a bath or just spend some time together. Watch a comedy or cook. Then have an early night. It is exciting but try to get some sleep.
Should You Get Married?
Now you have a handy countdown let’s start with the most important thing first: should you be getting married? I know, Why is this in a wedding book? Some people get married for the wrong reasons and other people get married even though they know something is wrong. Read below and go through my checklist to find out when and if you should be getting married.
So, when is it the right time to get married and make that commitment? What do you need to know first? Read the points below to find out if now is the right time to get married.
Are you in love?
There are many reasons why people think they should get married. Whether it’s peer pressure or because you have kids. Truth is, there is only one reason why you should get married: You’re in love. As long as you love someone it does not matter what life throws at you. They are the constant in your life. If you are unsure whether or not you’re in love; you’re not. If you are unsure if your boyfriend loves you, ask him or read this: How to tell if your boyfriend loves you
Are they your final emotional destination?
When you marry someone you are not just sharing your life, but also your soul and your DNA. You are forever joining together. Marriage is something to be taken seriously. Do you really want to be with this person? It’s okay to have doubts, we all
do. It is always possible that Angelina Jolie or George Clooney will want to marry you later, but the thing is, if you have found someone who loves you and you love them back you are blessed, people spend lifetimes trying to find the love of their lives. Don’t throw that away.
Are you just sliding into it?
Do you really want to get married or are you just sliding into it? Marriage is a mistake that’s hard to get out of unscathed – whether that be emotionally or financially. Being in a loveless marriage is something nobody should have to put up with. Don’t just get married because your mother is nagging you.
Do you just want a big day?
They say the most important day in a women’s life is her wedding day. I like to think this isn’t true, but it is still something women (and men!) buy into. After the dress, the presents and the honeymoon you will have to spend the rest of your life with this person. Not really worth one glamorous day.
Are you getting married because you (think) you are cracking on a bit?
Getting married because you’re nearly thirty isn’t a good enough reason. Although a woman’s biological clock doesn’t work in her favour, marrying someone you don’t love – or worse, having a kid with someone you don’t love; a child ties you to that person forever- just because you feel pressure from society or your parents will never make you happy. Think of all the other things you could do with your life; travel, focus on your career, study. There is a big world out there. You don’t need a husband (or wife) for that.
Do you know each other? Does the other person listen?
You have to know the person you are marrying. Can you communicate with them? Can you talk openly? If you tell your partner that something annoys you do they make the effort to change? If someone loves you they will do anything they can to keep you around, they will care about your thoughts and feelings. You also have to accept the other person, good and bad.
And another thing…
Talk about finance, children and future goals together. It’s okay to be nervous, to be unsure, relationships are hard, but if you really love the person you are with, what are you waiting for?
This was the first entry from my wedding diary on my online magazine Frost Magazine:
Well I finally did it. I managed to find someone who will put up with me for the rest of my life. Most little girls’ dream came true when my boyfriend of three years whisked me off to Paris on the Eurostar for our anniversary and proposed. I ecstatically said Yes and upon our return bought far too many wedding magazines, and realised just how hard planning a wedding was going to be. Don’t get me wrong. I am not exactly phased by planning big things. I planned the launch party for Frost Magazine and had over 300 guests. It went off without a hitch even though the venue canceled on us a few days before. I have also made a full length feature film. I have the skills and the staying power but what I don’t have is £21,000 to spend on a party. Only one person has mentioned the outdated thing of the woman’s parents paying. All of my friends paid for their own weddings and I am not asking my parents for money. I am the editor of this magazine, a freelance writer and actor. I am not exactly rolling in it.
Somehow this is not even the issue. Neither my fiancé nor I think it is reasonable to spend that amount of money on one day of your life. Other difficulties are that my family live in Scotland and my fiancé’s family live in England. Getting all of these people together in a convenient, reasonably priced venue doesn’t feel like the easiest thing.
Also as a half catholic, half protestant agnostic I have found out that I cannot even get married in a church because I was notchristened as my parents, quite rightly, wanted me to choose my own religion. If I want to get married in a church I will have to attend church or do a course. Neither of these seem appealing and I don’t have a lot of free time.
So join me on my journey from engaged woman to bride. I will be writing lots of wedding articles and advice to go along with my personal experience. Please comment and tell me your thoughts and give any advice. We are planning to get married in June of next year so we don’t actually have much time to get everything done. It is all quite exciting and scary.
Frost Magazine has a brilliant article on buying the perfect engagement ring if you want to send it to your boyfriend to drop some hints.