Hen & Stag Night

HEN AND STAG DO

  Before you and your beloved commit to each other for life tradition dictates that you have ‘one last night of freedom’. This may not be just a day but, in some cases, a week.

 Hen Night

  Your maid of honour/chief bridesmaid will arrange and plan your hen night. Make her job easier Wichita Falls Wedding Photography by giving her a full list of people you want to come with full contact details, along with some ideas of likes and dislikes.

  My chief bridesmaid, Paloma, did a ‘Catherine Quiz’ to get a hold of my likes and dislikes and then planned an amazing hen night. It started with an afternoon tea/champagne party and then ended the night in a London casino. It was amazing and fun.

  There are great sites which can help you organise the hen/stag dos. Just type ‘stag do’ or ‘hen do’ into a search engine and you will get ideas galore.

  Some things to do on a hen night include a spa break, cocktail making, a pyjama party, afternoon tea, a night in a casino, a movie marathon, wine tasting or a boat ride. The stag do is much the same deal. The best man arranges it.

 Stag Night

  Not always the Hangover cliché but do make sure that it happens weeks, if not months, before the wedding. Otherwise bad things will happen. Much like the hen do, the best man will need a list of people and their contact details. Then he will need some likes and dislikes. The best man may know exactly what would make the ideal stag do but some ideas always help.

  Weekend breaks in Europe are popular, water rafting, paint balling, motor racing and SAS training are all good, fun ideas.

  For some great advice read my interview with Tom Wright who was my husband’s best man on our wedding day. Tom was an amazing best man and he really went beyond the normal duties of a best man, helping my husband get well and actually make it to the ceremony.

  How did it feel to be chosen as the best man?

  Once I got over the initial surprise I felt very honoured. I know from meeting Jamie's friends on the stag that he had plenty of fantastic options to choose from. I also felt a great responsibility to try and live up to that faith he'd put in me.

  Was it stressful?

  Planning things was, but that was my own fault. I'm terrible at starting tasks, so I was pushing things pretty close to the wire with speech writing and stag planning. Made things more stressful than they needed to be! Thank god for Kaedi telling me to just bloody start.

  What was the hardest thing about it?

  Other than seeing Jamie in pain on the day, it was as mentioned above, starting the stag planning/speech writing. It didn't help that I didn't have a full list of people coming for a while (thanks Jamie!), but that was my responsibility so should've pushed him a bit more there.

  And the easiest?

  Actually doing stuff! The stag was fantastic, everyone wanted it to be a great night so that's what it turned out as.

  Giving the speech was much easier than I'd feared. After the morning of seeing Jamie get through what he had, my nerves had disappeared. I was more worried about dropping the rings than giving the speech!

  How did you decide what to do for the stag do?

  Since I didn't know the majority of the guys coming on the stag I had went for things I thought everyone could enjoy, while trying to stay within the London area. I also wanted to keep things relatively cheap as I wasn't sure everyone was employed etc.

  I had toyed with the idea of 'adventure days' but thought they would cause a lot of hassle with people getting out of London, and be very expensive. For me the main part of the day would be the evening meal and drinks after. So I went with the Urban Golf for the activity, easy to get to, relatively cheap, easy fun for everyone, and drinks available as soon as you walk in!

  How much planning was required?

  The stag was the culmination of about 2-3 weeks thinking on it, and then a day ringing around places booking stuff up.

  The speech was a furious 2-3 hour session the night after the stag. I practiced in front of Kaedi and my mum about 5-6 times until I knew it by heart. They also helped me cut parts out which were dull and kept it flowing.

  Were you nervous?

  Not really, once the planning was done it was smooth sailing for me.

  How was the wedding day?

  It was absolutely lovely. The service was beautiful, not to mention the location which really stood out at sunset. I had a fantastic time meeting everyone, including your lovely family!

  Obviously it was very sad that you and Jamie had to leave early, but I was so impressed with you both on the day. I can really see why you two make a great married couple.

  What are your top Best Man Tips?

  Don't put things off, as is true with everything in life it just introduces more stress than there should be.

  Practice your speech a load of times, and get feedback on the best/worst parts. Try and make sure you can recite it from heart

  Any tips for making the speech?

  Talk to the groom about your past experiences together with the aim of getting some good stories for the speech. You can also get the other guys on the stag to do the same thing. I recently went on another stag do, and at dinner we went around the table each giving one amusing story involving the stag and the person giving the story, as well as one word to describe the stag. Was a great idea!

  I made a list of qualities about Jamie, and a list of stories I had, and then tried to weave the best into the speech.

  Thank you, Tom

  Who Pays?

  That is the question. Generally, and traditionally, neither the hen nor stag are supposed to pay anything towards their last night of freedom. The other hens and stags do. However, not everyone has a lot of money and it is worth offering to pay something. I bought a round of drinks on my hen night as all of my hens, and my chief bridesmaid in particular, had made such an effort. This only seemed fair.

  Engagement Party

  Some people have an engagement party. My husband and I didn’t have one but I wish we had. You could do whatever you want for your engagement party but reserving an area in a favourite bar/club with some drinks and nibbles is a popular choice. Don’t invite anyone to the engagement party who is not invited to the wedding. They will wonder what they did to offend you. The only way around that is if you are having a small wedding but be honest with people and make that clear.

  If there is someone you don’t want to invite to the engagement party then don’t. Say you just had a small gathering with friends and ask people not to put the pictures on Facebook. Problem solved.

  You don’t have to pay for the engagement party but you could get some drinks and nibbles which I am sure would be appreciated. Presents are generally not given at engagement parties but if you do get one then remember to send a thank you card.