Making the right choice for your wedding venue is one of the most important wedding decisions you will make. It will also probably be the most expensive.
When choosing a venue think about where your family and friends are located and then plonk your venue in the middle, or at least in a location which will be easy for everyone to get to. We got married in London and I was devastated when I found out how many of my Scottish family would not be able to attend. Wichita Falls Wedding Photography If you plan far enough in advance this may not be a problem though. So the things to think about are:
Location: the easiest way to narrow down your search is by deciding where you want to get married. Then you can search for venues in that area. That may still leave you with a lot of choice. You could also just want to choose between town or country. You may want to get married in your childhood church but you will still need a reception venue. If your venue and ceremony venue are different also take transportation into account.
An overseas wedding is another option and see Chapter 2 for more details
Price: don’t look at venues outside of your budget because if you then fall in love with one it will hurt and everything else will feel like second best. Most venues are expensive but it is possible to find a beautiful one that will not break the bank.
What are they offering? Some venues, such as a marquee, come ‘dry’. Which means with nothing at all and you have to get the furniture and even the electricity yourself. Other venues offer packages that are all-inclusive and most offer something in-between. When choosing your venue think carefully about what they offer. Our venue offered china, cutlery, napkins, glassware, a cake stand and knife, a master of ceremonies, linen and a venue planner. All of this stuff really came in handy and saved us a fortune because otherwise we would have had to rent it.
If you are having a civil ceremony then you can get married and have your reception in the same venue. If you are having a religious wedding however then you will also need a reception venue. Keep in mind that you can only get married in a licensed venue so if the venue you have your heart set on doesn’t have one then you will have to get married elsewhere and then have your reception there, or a proper legal ceremony later. If you are having a civil ceremony and want to have a separate reception venue then take the expense and time of travel into account if you decide to do this.
Anyone who has watched Don’t Tell The Bride will know that there are many different ways to wed and a lot of different venue options. Couples have gotten married in a swimming pool in a leisure centre – yes, you read that right. The bride used to work there. Interesting episode. In a wood, on a plane…anywhere really, as long as you make the wedding legal afterwards and also have a reception venue if needed. hitched.com are great for finding wedding venues and your local councils website will have a list of licensed venues for civil ceremonies. Where you can legally marry has been covered in chapter two so I will focus on reception/civil venues here.
In fact, because you can have so many choices finding a venue can be overwhelming. Recommendations are always a good idea when choosing a venue. Ask friends and family and even use social media to your advantage by asking Twitter and Facebook friends if they have any recommendations. Try to have an idea of what you want in mind. Even what you don’t want can help.
Getting married in a marquee is popular and can be truly wonderful for a summer wedding. You will have to hire the marquee dry however, most of them just come on their own and you have to supply the generator yourself. You could even get married in a friend’s garden. This option would also allow you to involve any pets. Don’t assume that getting married in a marquee or a piece of land will be cheaper.
If you have always had your heart set on a specific wedding venue then make sure you book it as quickly as possible. Many book up years in advance.
With a bit of homework you will find your perfect venue. Bridal magazines are a great source. The real weddings and the resources/advertisements are all valuable. There is also a bridal magazine called Wedding Venues & Services which has a large directory of venues which is listed by county. If you have already hired your caterer or another wedding supplier then they will have some recommendations of their own. Make sure their recommendations are valuable and not just a friend or someone who will give them a commission. The internet is obviously a brilliant way to find a wedding venue. Choose your search terms and then happy surfing. If you
have your heart set on getting married in a historical venue then the National Trust website is your friend: www.nationaltrust.org.uk. The English Heritage site is also worth a look www.english-heritage.org.uk. Wedding fairs are also an excellent place to gather information and find your potential venue. Your local council website will also have a list of licensed venues. If you have seen a venue that you love check their website or give them a call to find out if they hold weddings. If you have a wedding planner they will have an endless list of possible venues and will be able to source more based on your preferences.
Marquee and Teepee.
Marquees are popular and you can get a number of different ones. They usually come dry i.e. completely empty, and you will have to provide everything including the electricity. Keep in mind that you cannot get married outdoors. You have to get married in a ‘permanent structure’ but you can still have your reception in a marquee. This is usually the case in all weddings apart from Jewish ones. A teepee is not one of those Native American homes but a tent that slopes on one side. It keeps out the rain but retains the view. These options can add up with lots of hidden costs so prepare for that. It is not good if you are on a tight budget but is if you want everything your own way. It could work out cheaper however if you have access to a large kitchen as you could self-cater. You would also save on alcohol and corkage fees. However you may have to rent the following: loos, power generators, decoration and lighting. Also think about rain. Rain covers may cost extra but they will be worth it, as would making sure someone is on hand to deal with the electricity. The company you hire the marquee from should know everything you need to know. When planning, plan for the worst weather while hoping for the best weather. If the portaloo is not near the marquee than hiring a covered walkway will keep guests happy. You don’t want anyone getting soaked on your wedding day. Also have a think of how guests will get there and if they will have anywhere that they can park. If there will be neighbours warn them in advance or invite them. That should stop any moans. Keep in mind that the ground may be wet and muddy so you will need some flat shoes or wellingtons. Keep disabled guests in mind. Make sure they will be comfortable in the marquee, are near a heater and can get around conveniently.
Castles
Possible if you have the budget. Make sure you can dine inside otherwise you may also have to hire a marquee.
Manor House
There are some truly gorgeous manor houses out there. The catering is usually in-house. Many of them come with wedding coordinators who will help deal with suppliers and make sure the day goes smoothly.
Hotel
There are a lot of very beautiful hotels around. Some of them will also give inclusive deals which can work out a lot cheaper than hiring other venues that seem to cost less at first glance.
Barns
I have seen some beautiful weddings set in barns. As with marquees, many will allow you to bring in your own food and alcohol which can keep costs down. Decoration costs may add up however but food and alcohol are a much bigger wedding expense.
There are some very unique places you can hire: boats, museums, galleries, woods. The list goes on. Many A-listers like Reese Witherspoon get married in their own garden. Which is fine if you own a multi-million pound home. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married at their holiday home in France. Be creative with your choices and think outside the box.
When booking a venue make sure you go through every bit of paperwork with a fine tooth comb. Check every single detail and if you are not sure about something then ask. Make sure the date is correct, little mistakes can cost big. Make sure the contract includes the full price, what is included, the deposit paid, the payment
terms, when the rest of the balance is due, location, cancellation date, the details of the person you will be dealing with and the date and time of your wedding. If you have negotiated any deals or extras with the venue then make sure these are included in the contract. Some venues will let you pay the deposit in chunks and then the remainder before the wedding. Others will just want a reasonable deposit and send an invoice after the wedding. I would advise against paying 100% of anything far in advance. That should set off warning bells. Don’t sign anything you are unsure about and remember that you are the customer. It is your wedding day and your money. Be firm but polite with people. Email is a good course of communication as these can be reread and checked if any misunderstanding occur.
Don’t take any family members to see the venue with you. You don’t want them being critical or trying to sway your decision if you decide it is the venue for you. Yes, even if they are paying for it or contributing. It is your wedding, not theirs. Don’t be bullied.
Make notes when you go to the venue. Take the best man or maid of honour and check all of the rooms. Ask for a brochure, menus and the wine list. Make sure you can take pictures and do so if allowed. Even if you completely fall in love with the venue don’t let them know. This will give you more bargaining power if they think you can just go somewhere else. Don’t settle for second best either. When you see the venue that is the one you will know it.
What to know when choosing your wedding venue.
Questions to ask.
What does the package include?
How much alcohol do you provide, if any?
Do you have to go with their suppliers or can you choose your own?
Is there an extra charge if you do not go with their preferred supplier?
Can we bring in our own alcohol?
How much is your corkage fee?
What rooms do we have?
How long do we the venue for?
What is the hire fee?
Are there any additional charges?
If it is a hotel then ask if you get a deal if guests stay overnight.
What is the cancellation policy?
Are you allowed to use candles and will the venue supply them?
When can you or the suppliers decorate the venue?
How long do you have the venue for?
Are there any special offers they can give you? Especially for a mid-week or off-season weddings.
What is the venue capacity?
Is there a minimal amount on number of guests? You may have to pay an extra cost
Are all staff included in the price?
Will there be an event manager and/or master of ceremonies on the day?
How much is the deposit and when will the rest of the money have to be paid?
If you have fewer guests than their minimum numbers what will you be charged?
How many tables can you fit comfortably in the room you are having the wedding breakfast in?
Is there available parking space?
Is there disabled parking space?
Where can people get dressed and ready?
Do we have the venue exclusively?
Is there another wedding happening on the same day?
If catering and booze is in house then enquire about a price estimate.
Do you have a liquor licence?
Are you allowed to decorate the venue? What is, and is not, allowed?
How long does it take to turn the room?
When can suppliers have access to the venue?
When do things have to be collected?
Is there a contingency for bad weather?
Find out how much alcohol is supplied and if there are any extra charges.
What time does the venue’s licence run out? What time do your guests have to be out by?
Who is the contact and who will be working at the venue on the day?
Are there any noise restrictions?
When you call up the venue initially make a note of how they treat you and how professional they are. If you are not impressed at the beginning it is unlikely to get any better. It sounds obvious but don’t book the venue until you have seen it. When you go to view it have a proper look around. Try to spot any potential problems or anything that doesn’t fit then discuss it with the venue in advance. Do your research on the venue before you sign anything. Check Facebook and Twitter. Search for reviews online and ask if they have any pictures of previous weddings. Take trusted members of your wedding party with you to see the venue again. They might spot something that you have missed. Write down any questions you will have in advance so you don’t forget anything. Take a pen with you so you can write down any more questions that come to you.
When you go and see the venue they might show you the nicest rooms and they might not be done up how they are on the actual day. Make sure you know what is included and what is not. Some pictures on wedding venue sites are also of actual weddings and don’t show the room as it is on the day. Watch out for this as it will add to your budget.
The advantages of hiring a dry venue is that you can make the venue your own and bring in your own food and alcohol. You will need to be very organised and it will take a lot of work. You can slash the cost dramatically however as food and alcohol are both very expensive. Check whether the venue has staff that will help on the day, if not you may have to do this yourself or hire someone separate. Also ask if you have to set up the chairs and clear up afterwards.
If the venue does in-house catering then ask for a tasting. Some venues do not hold tastings but if you are paying for catering then you should be allowed to make sure it is up to par. I understand this can be costly for the venue but catering bills are not cheap and you should be allowed to make sure that the food is good enough. Compare the in-house catering prices to the price of an outside caterer. Make sure you include any extra charge for going with an outside caterer and the cost of cutlery, china, napkins and linen if the venue will not supply these.
For a good deal it is best to either go inclusive or hire an inexpensive hall or function room.
The good thing about inclusive deals is that there won’t be any surprises. If you want to get married quickly then you are in a strong bargaining position or if you want to get married off-peak. They won’t want their room being empty. Make sure you know what you are getting. Break the price of the food and alcohol down per person to make sure you are getting a good deal. The venue will try and squeeze you so watch out for any hidden extras. Find out how much alcohol is included and what kind of wine they will be serving. Make sure it is not just some cheap wine and not limited to a certain number of bottles. Negotiate with the venue but makes sure it is for something that is worth it and really saves you money.
Venue And Reception In Different Places
This can be cause for stress so make sure everyone knows the route and exactly where they are going. Factor in how long it will take guests to get into their cars and travel or take the train/tube/bus. You may want to lay on transportation if the venue is far away or in the country. You don’t want the reception running late. Or have taxis outside waiting for your guests.
My husband James and I got married at the London Rowing Club on Putney Embankment. It was a very good choice and not just because it is about ten minutes from our flat. All of our guests loved our venue. Sorry for being immodest but it really was a huge hit. Here I asked the venue and events manager, Olivia Malcolm Berry, to answer a few questions. Olivia is the one who deals with suppliers and makes sure everything goes smoothly on the day.
Tell us about the London Rowing Club.
Built in 1856, the London Rowing Club on the Embankment in Putney is one of the oldest rowing clubs in the world. The club still runs as a high performance rowing club, and hosts
a number of important rowing events, such as the Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race Day. As a venue in London, the glorious panoramic views of the River Thames with Bishop's Park just across the water makes this idyllic location perfect for any event.
Why do people choose the London Rowing Club as a venue?
A main draw to the London Rowing Club are the 3 wonderful event rooms, and a large balcony that offers glorious panoramic views.
The club is also close to transport, is quite central, and when you have an event at the London Rowing Club you also have an experienced event manager to help organise your event.
How many weddings does the London Rowing Club do every year?
The Club hosts a range of different events, from rowing events such as Boat Race Day, to birthday parties and weddings. The club would host about 30 weddings a year.
What is your role?
I am the Venue and Events Manager for the club.
What kind of questions should a couple ask about a possible wedding venue?
1. What capacity can the venue hold?
2. Are there any limits to decorating?/ Can you have candles?
3. Can you have live music, is there a restriction to the time they can play?
4. Does the venue have a suppliers list? This can be a great way to find the suppliers you are after without the fuss of searching high and low. Their suppliers will also know the venue and the staff, making it a stress free event.
5. If needed, does the venue allow children, have disabled access, is there any parking?
Any advice for how couples can decorate the venue?
Flowers always look fabulous, and are a wonderful way to dress up the venue. Once you have a colour scheme/theme for the day you can start planning any decorations for the venue. It is also good to see if the venue offer any decorations, candles etc.
Have you noticed any wedding trends?
Most of the weddings at the club are quite romantic, whimsical and rustic, as it all blends in quite nicely to the club.
What mistakes do couples make when planning a wedding?
Some couples are so worried about what their guests will think that they lose focus on what they want and how they want to spend the day. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, this is your day!
Any good wedding planning tips?
Make sure you book the venue as soon as possible. Don’t wait till the following year as prices increase, so the sooner you book the better.
What are the most important things to get right?
All couples are different, so their focus might be on the right meal or having the right wines/open bar available! The day is meant to reflect you as a couple though so as long as you and your guests are relaxed and having fun, that is the most important thing.
What is your favourite wedding you ever planned?
My favourite event would have to be one in the South of France, it was extravagant and divine!
Any tips for scheduling?
I think having a wedding folder and making lists are the best way to go about it, this will also help to keep track of contacts and budgets.
Thank you, Olivia.
SOME OTHER TIPS
Do Your Homework
Doing your homework will save money and also lead you to that perfect thing that makes your wedding. It can be time-consuming and hard to fit it into your life. Entire weekends and evening will have to be sacrificed but hopefully you will find some fun in it.
Decoration
It is your wedding and you can do it however you want. Bunting, a themed wedding, balloons, honeycombs, aliens…anything goes really. But do remember that it is a wedding and try to think of the end result. You don’t want a mishmash.
Lighting.
Worth finding out if your venue will do anything during your first dance. It is nice if they dim the lights and then have some disco lights or something. Check the lighting in the venue. Especially if you are going to have your pictures done inside.
Tabletop
You can add whatever you want to the tabletop. It is hard to go wrong with flowers and candles however. You don’t have to spend a fortune and if money is really tight then some candles and flower petals can really work. You also don’t have to spend a fortune on flowers. That is just the ‘W’ bomb dropping again.
Chairs
Should come with the venue. If you have a marquee wedding you will have to supply your own. If you don’t like the chairs at the venue you can hire chair covers. This is a popular thing to do and can really add a lovely touch.
Napkins
Check if venue supplies them. If not, you don’t need to spend a fortune. Get some funky ones if you are having an informal wedding or some on eBay or Amazon if not.
Crockery and Cutlery
Check if the venue supplies these and, if so, if they charge. If they don’t you will have to rent some from your caterer or somewhere else.
Menu
My (then) fiancé did our menus. He designed them himself with help from the internet and printed them out on good paper he bought from a stationery shop. Our guests loved them and they really did look great. You don’t need to get them professionally done, this is an area where money can be saved.
Place Cards And Table Settings
Our place tags were luggage tags taped onto gourmet jelly bean favours. When it comes to place cards and table settings there are a lot of unique ways to add a bit of personality to the venue and make your guests feel special. You could have their name on a jar of something nice, a little plant pot of lavender, cubes, a tree stand or anything else that takes your fancy. You could even use the menu. A personalised menu with the date of your wedding and the guest’s name is a nice memento.
Seating Plans
Despite the fact I am the one who is supposedly the artist in our marriage my husband also did the seating plan for our wedding. We were devastated when it went missing towards the end of the night. We wanted to keep it forever.
One way of doing it is drawing the different tables and then adding the names of the guests around the table. Get a good calligraphy pen and some good A1 or A2 card and you can do this yourself. Make sure you buy more than one sheet in case you make a mistake. You could also do one on your computer and then get it blown up at a print store. Seating plans look good propped on an easel.
Top Table
Ah, the top table. Where hearts are broken and war is waged. The top table is wherever the bride and groom sit. It can be terrifying doing the top table as so many people think they should be on it and some people have to be on it, even if they don’t deserve it. The best thing to do is just make your decision and then stick to it. Explain to people, politely and firmly, why they are not on it if they complain. Giving them your reasoning and saying you would have liked them on it but just didn’t have the space should suffice.
We could not fit our entire wedding party on our top table and we were quite upset about it initially but then we had the idea of having bridesmaids and best men on the other tables as our representatives. This actually worked very well, both for the guests at those tables who were with someone who knew what was going on, but also for us as we had emissaries at the other tables to sort out any issues and we could sit family members next to their partners and the best man and maid of honour next to theirs. It can be quite difficult when partners of the wedding party don’t know anyone and have to sit alone whilst their other half is on the top table.
Divorced families can make doing the seating plan for the top table incredibly hard. The best thing to do is remind everyone that it is your big day and they should all be mature, get along and sit wherever they are told. Harsh but fair.
Traditionally in the UK the bride and groom sit in the middle of the table and then it is the bride’s parents, then the groom’s parents and then the best man and chief bridesmaid. With the divorce rate so high however (Shh! this is a wedding book!) this does not have to be followed at all. Sit whoever you want next to you and ignore all of the stuffy people who complain endlessly about tradition. Usually people only throw that word around during wedding planning when they are trying to get their own way anyway.
Either sit all parents at the top table or none. Otherwise you will offend people. If you do not sit your parents at your table, give them their own table which is relatively near you and surround them with family and friends. Then fill your own table up with the wedding party and/or your friends. Many people will say that the top table should be filled on one side only and clearly visible during the meal. However, few people want to be stared at whilst eating and not many like being put on display. Do what you want and sit where you want.
Make sure there is plenty of space around the tables and people can move freely. If you have ushers, or even just some lovely people who don’t mind helping out, have them at the door, mini-seating plan in hand, ready to show people were they are supposed to be sitting. This will quicken the process. We did not have any problems on our wedding day, guests easily found their seats from the seating plan. You can number your tables in various creative ways: place card, plants, flowers, a number on a prop or a wooden number. You could also give the tables names instead. Even better if the name of each table is significant to you or the people who are sitting there. To make it even more personal you could name the tables after films you both like or places you have been on holiday together.
Obviously if you are having a themed wedding it will be much easier to decide what kind of place cards, decoration and favours you want. Pop your wedding theme into a search engine and you should have ideas aplenty.
Favours
For our wedding we got gourmet jelly beans. Which was quite funny when we had them delivered from Ocado. A favour can be anything and doesn’t have to be expensive. They can be something special to you both as a couple or just a cute little trinket. Not On The High Street has some beautiful favours and eBay also has a lot of bargains. Supermarkets should not be discounted as edible favours are usually well received. Most people don’t want something useless that they will feel obliged to keep. Some great ideas for favours are: sugared almonds, a little plant pot with a beautiful flower, herb or plant in. Personalise them and if you give a herb maybe add one of your favourite recipes too. Terracotta pots are very cute and look good. Miniature cake, chocolate, homemade cookies or cupcakes, a CD of your wedding playlist, your own personalised perfume, your own blend of tea, a book of love poems or quotes, alcohol, homemade chutney or jam, macaroons or champagne flutes. The list is endless but do make it personal. Guests will appreciate you making an effort. If you are not putting the favours on the tables before the wedding breakfast then put them in paper bags with the gift wrapped in tissue paper. Have them at the door with clear instructions to take one or have a member of the wedding party give them out.