The first thing you will notice about wedding invitations is how expensive they are. If you buy them from John Lewis or any of those places they cost quite a bit of money. Don’t get discouraged Wichita Falls Wedding Photography though because you can buy beautiful, personalised invitations at a very good price. You could also make your own. Although that might cost more and be time-consuming.
Invitations are traditionally sent six weeks before the wedding but I would email/call or send a save the date card three to four months beforehand. If you are getting married on a bank holiday or when people would be away this is even more important. Send invitations to guests who live abroad in plenty of time. They might not get them or it might just take a while.
On the save the date cards put your name, the date and the place and that the invitation/full details will follow. If you don’t want to send cards and have some spare cash then you can buy lots of cute things like magnets as a save-the-date reminder. Wedding websites have a lot of very cute things.
Think about how many invitations you will need carefully. Although it is good to have some extra a common mistake is to think that because you have 120 guest that you need 120 invitations. There will be many couples and they will only need one invitation. The same for families.
Now a lot of wedding invitations are incredibly expensive. You are talking hundreds of pounds for a piece of cardboard. We were shocked at the prices. If you add in save the date cards and thank you cards, it would be easy to rack up a thousand pounds if you include postage. So what is a frugal girl to do? Ebay. Obviously. We got beautiful, personalised invitations for a very reasonable price. The invitations are beautiful, come with envelopes and are well made and high quality. Just put ‘wedding invitations’ into the search function of eBay and you can get some amazing ones for under £50.
We didn’t send out save the date cards because of environmental reasons, and also cost. We emailed and called people instead. The wedding industry is a £10 billion industry in the UK so don’t buy something just because you feel you have to.
When it came to the design of our invitations, we wanted something that reflected us and who we are. Family members will probably try and pull you in a certain way, but we wanted ours to be fresh and fun. Our invites are white, with a multicoloured tree. We are quite a young couple so we wanted something to reflect that: nothing stuffy. They also came in a very handy, protective plastic case.
If you want to spend more on your invitations then John Lewis do some beautiful ones, and so do Marks and Spencers and VistaPrint. Watch out with VistaPrint though. I once bought some business cards on VistaPrint and somehow signed up to something that took £9.99 from my bank account every month. It took me a few months to notice and I was very angry. Thankfully when I called them up they were nice and I got my money back. I have since bought some more business cards from them with no problems. If you are good at DIY you can also make your own. Your computer will probably have some software that will allow you to do invitations. There are also plenty of good templates online. If you want to make your wedding invites last longer and you are willing to spend a bit more you can print your invite on something long-lasting like a tea towel or a coaster.
What to put on your invites
Your names (we included our surnames as we weren’t sure people would know who we were!)
Date and time of the wedding.
Contact details. We asked people to RSVP to our email or by calling. You can include an RSVP card and envelope (with a stamp) or include your address. We wanted to keep our invitations as brief as possible.
RSVP details. Include a non-email option for the older guests. Include a deadline for the RSVP. Needed for the catering and seating. We made the mistake of putting an RSVP date which was too early. Some of our poor guests probably got their card after the date on them. Cue apologies. We had a lot of people who we would have loved to have come but only a limited amount of spaces so we wanted to hurry things up. Little did we know how long some people would take to reply. Typically, your RSVP by date should be three-to-four weeks before the wedding.
RSVP comes from the French Répondez, s’il vous plaît which means, respond (if you please).
RSVP cards for weddings should never have a place for number of guests. Your guests should know that only those addressed in the envelope are invited.
Include the venue address and the reception address too if it is different.
Your wedding gift list number. We went with John Lewis and prezola.com
Other options
Parents’ details. We decided not to do this but you can include either parents or both. As in: ‘Mr and Mrs Smith invite *guest name* to the marriage of their daughter, Chloe, to Matt Fox.’
Dress code.
Traditionally you don’t put a dress code on wedding invitations. We didn’t put one on as everyone knows weddings are formal. I would only include a dress code if it is anything other than formal. For instance: a themed wedding or black tie. Some guests won’t like this however. We did get one or two emails from people wondering what to wear. If I did it again I might put a dress code on the invitations even though it is not the done thing.
Dietary requirements: You may want to enquire about this on the invitation. We did so on our save-the-date emails/calls.
Maps: good if you are getting married in the middle of nowhere.
Accommodations details: With information on special rates, good hotels and contact details.
You can, of course, put whatever you want on your invitations. It is your wedding.
Typeface and Font
Have a look at lots of different ones. They are a lot of choose from. One will suit your personality and wedding perfectly.
Paper
Having your invitations printed on good paper makes all of the difference. It doesn’t need to cost a fortune.
Making Your Own
You can make and design your own invitations. There are also many templates online that can help and most computers even come with decent design software.
One of the most important things is to proof your wedding invitations. Spelling mistakes and bad grammar are not good. Check and double check yourself and get someone else too as well. When you get your proof back from the printer you can still make changes at no extra cost.
Posting
Weddings are expensive so as long as you send them out in plenty of time guests shouldn’t mind if you send the invitations second class. The Royal Mail’s prices these days are pretty much extortion.
In regard to addressing envelopes, Debrett’s may say to address married couples as Mr and Mrs John Smith, and it may be the done thing, but this is 2014, not the 1950s and I, and many of my friends, find it sexist and offensive. It is a tradition that really should die out. Always make sure the wife has her first name on and also make sure that she actually changed her name.
Putting Together Your Gift List.
We were not going to do a gift list but many of our guests asked us to because they just didn’t know what gift to get. The best way to put together a gift list is to do an inventory of things you need. This can also include upgrades of things you have that are not very good: irons, kettles or toasters for example.
Write down your shopping list before you go to the store or log in online. It will be very annoying if you really need new towels but you didn’t do a proper inventory or make a list.
When making your list keep in mind the financial situation of your guests. Not everyone will be loaded and they will also have to pay for transport, clothes and shoes to your wedding. Have a wide range of products with low to medium price tags. You could add one or two big purchases for a rich uncle but keep in mind that you don’t want to look greedy and that most people won’t have much to spend.
A number of things starting from £15 is a good idea. If you get a gift you don’t want then either exchange it or regift. If you do regift it make sure the person who bought it for you doesn’t know that person. That could get awkward. Many couples also sell their unwanted wedding gifts on eBay or other auction sites like Ebid.
John Lewis
My husband and I did our gift list through John Lewis (Peter Jones, the Sloane Square branch to be more precise) and our honeymoon fund via Prezola.
We have absolutely nothing bad to say about John Lewis. Their customer service is amazing, as are their products.
It is a lot of fun doing your gift list. You get given a scanner after you register and a voucher that gives you and your fiancé a free tea or coffee and a pastry. My first tip is not to wait too long to use your voucher as by the time we went to get our free pastry, not much was left. Although we did have a great bakewell tart and a cup of tea.
You then take the scanner and scan the barcode of the products that you want. You may have seen this done in numerous American romantic comedies. I had which is why I got stupidly excited. We got a little carried away and scanned far too much stuff we didn’t need, including a £45 (!) chopping board. It doesn’t matter if you do this as you can just remove the items online. Or add more of course. You can’t add sale items however as they may not be available by the time you get married. The return policy at John Lewis is very good. You just have to give your gift list number. They will post you a summary at the end. Keep this incase anything becomes faulty.
Prezola
My fiancé and I were quite sick of how much stuff we had in our flat. We are both also quite environmentally conscious and didn’t want to end up with a lot of stuff we had nowhere to put. Add in the fact that weddings are expensive and we decided that we would tell guests we would prefer a contribution to our honeymoon fund rather than more stuff. Our guests were understanding and didn’t mind so you can look into this option. If anyone does want to buy you a gift you keep for the rest of
your life then you can add some gifts from Prezola (they have lots of beautiful things) or add a separate gift list such as John Lewis or Debenhams.
I found out about Prezola in the wedding magazines I bought in the flush of my engagement. I made sure I researched it thoroughly before my (then) fiancé and I paid the £25 you need to pay if you want the honeymoon fund. If you just want the gift list it is free.
We didn’t have a problem with Prezola. They didn’t transfer the money immediately after the wedding but did within three or four business days after I contacted them asking how we close the list and get the funds. They were also very friendly and give you a spreadsheet of wonderful wedding messages along with the name of the guest and their gift. I can recommend Prezola.
Some guests didn’t want to put their financial details on the internet and put their honeymoon contribution straight into our bank accounts instead.
Of course there are other options for gift lists: art, a contribution to your favourite charity, things like a massage or spa breaks or an experience. The opportunities are endless. Search online if you don’t want to go with a typical department store.
Thank You Cards
It is best to make a note or who gave you what or write your thank you cards immediately. It may be a bore but you will thank yourself for it later. Although not everyone sends thank you cards these days, after your wedding it is a personal touch that your guests really will appreciate. Some beautiful paper or some nice cards make a great touch. Make sure you personally thank your guest for their gift and add in some nice, personal comments.
Thank you cards can be very expensive but Paperchase and WH Smith tend to do them in packs of ten starting from £3.99. This can add up if you had a lot of guests. There will be a few that are £2.99 for ten or you could buy some good paper and envelopes. This might work out cheaper due to volume. Marks & Spencer also do some beautiful ones at only £2.50 for eight.
Who To Invite
Now, this is a hard one. Decide on numbers first then it will be easier to make the hard decisions, knowing that you only have a certain amount of places.
Doing The Guestlist
Not every person you invite will come to the wedding. Send your save the date cards or emails and get a feel of the numbers. Then you can start inviting other people. People who are not on the first list, if they find out, will hopefully know that there are people that you have to invite and they are not on the B-list.
Day Guests
Day guests will be there from the ceremony to the evening. You will have to feed them and buy them alcohol so you may need to limit their numbers if you are on a budget.
Evening Guests
You can also invite evening guests. Perfect for those who cannot come during the day or for people like work colleagues that you just don’t know very well. Do not, however, expect evening guests to buy you an expensive gift. Wedding gifts are traditionally supposed to cover the cost of the meal.
You may be under pressure from people to invite certain people that you might not want to your wedding. The family friend that you met a few times, a distant cousin….I was lucky as my parents are very understanding and knew our wedding was only about James and me. They also knew we were not rich and didn’t want a big wedding anyway. They never insisted any of their friends be there. If you are not so lucky then listen to the reasons that person wants a certain person there. If they have a point and you have the space, fine. If not, kindly remind them that it is your wedding not a social event for them and their friends. There were a few people my husband and I wanted at our wedding who we couldn’t have there. So think carefully before you send out any invitations or get bullied into doing anything. My top tip is invite the people you truly love who make a huge difference to your life first. Your wedding day should be full of people who will be friends for life and see you through thick and thin, and family members that you have no option but to invite. Only joking, but do make your decisions carefully.
Another thing to keep in mind is that some people will take it very personally if you do not invite them to your wedding. In fact, they might never speak to you again. If this matters to you, invite them. If not, nothing is lost.