Love exists between family, friends, and romantic partners. By identifying and communicating your "love" language to your loved ones, your connection can grow deeper and stronger. About 30 years ago, a Baptist pastor named Gary Chapman released his book "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts," which delved into his understanding of relationships and how different expressions of love affected dynamics. These five categories consist of: words of affirmation, physical touch, gift receiving, quality time, and acts of service. These categories are not limiting and were developed to better understand your partner's relationship expectations and how to show that you care.
Words of affirmation- The use of words to convey appreciation for a loved one, typically in the form of compliments, praise, and reassurance. Frequently, spoken affection is overlooked due to the assumption that the recipient already knows these things, but a lack of these reminders can lead to misunderstandings. Communication surrounding a person's necessity for words of affirmation can help avoid these negative thoughts or doubts surrounding the relationship.
Physical touch- When a person needs contact, such as hugs, kisses, or even hand-holding, to feel valued in their relationship. Physical touch as a love language can be seen as a requirement for sexual interactions when, in reality, it is just a physical form of providing security and reminders of one's affection.
Gift receiving- Not to be mistaken for being a "gold digger" or a materialistic person, but rather, a person who appreciates thoughtful gifts. Simple showings of love like handwritten love letters or a favorite meal. Gift-giving is another way of showing love for some, as seeing their partner accept and appreciate their gift makes them feel valued.
Quality time- People who speak this love language prefer private time relaxing with their partner over social events and outings. No flashy gifts or constant reminders, just their partner’s presence. Time management can be complex, but being aware that your partner relies on quality time with you to feel loved can help you better plan and communicate to find times that work.
Acts of service- Love languages are often seen as burdensome demands to maintain a relationship when, in reality, a partner expressing their love could be as simple as tidying up the kitchen before you come home, making lunch for the day, or drawing a bath. Taking something off your back and doing it for you may be your partner's love language. Similar to gift giving, the knowledge that they are easing your mind makes them feel secure. Communicating with one another about how acts of service are perceived could be beneficial so that you can both be cognizant and adequately express gratitude.
It is easy to feel hurt when a partner speaks a different language than you do. Communicating differences in love languages can avoid the setting of unreal expectations by explaining that you love them even when it is not the same way they love you. Respecting a partner's love language could be the difference between a healthy, happy relationship and nuclear fallout. It is important to remember that these five categories are simply umbrellas, and everybody loves and expresses it differently.