Because I said so: critique and defensiveness

Facilitators: Jan and Angus

Wednesday July 3, 8pm - 10pm, at Shanghai Restaurant, 651 Summerset st W, Ottawa

Workshop summary

There were 7 participants, including the two facilitators. After an introduction, we did two exercises. In the first exercise we practiced different kinds of relating to each others' input, first reacting to someone's suggestions exclusively with "no, but", then with "yes, but", and finally with "yes, and". In the second exercise we explored the feelings wheel, with the aim to understand our emotions better.

To understand the value and necessity of feedback, we explored how bias works. Participants explored first their experiences of privilege for 30 seconds, and then their experiences of marginalization. The goal was to make clear that we have a much better understanding of our own marginalization, than our privilege. This exercise did not work as intended, possibly because privilege and marginalization should have been introduced more thoroughly.

Finally, the discussion was led to receiving feedback. By referring to their own experiences of messing up when receiving feedback, participants were asked what some of their emotions and self talk were, what the costs and risks can be for those providing feedback, and what the value of feedback is. We recognized that feedback is a gift. Also, it is an additional perspective that one should be aware of, and we do not have to immediately determine whether it is true, whether we had made mistakes; the only immediate reaction that is appropriate is listening.

The workshop was sound recorded for accountability purposes, we noticed that most participants were sharing vulnerable and intimate information. We did not receive feedback from participants that the microphone made them uncomfortable. It is hard to determine whether things were left unsaid because of the microphone, or whether potential participants decided to stay home.

Finally we want to thank Shanghai Restaurant for their hospitality!

Summary written by: Jan

Workshop introduction

A workshop on working with feelings of insecurity, and receiving feedback gracefully

We are often not aware of how our actions impact others, but we need that information to grow. How can we open ourselves up to this information, and handle the insecurity and vulnerability that we may feel?

To improve the MUC workshops, members of our accountability committee will have access to a sound recording, and provide feedback to facilitators. This feedback will focus strictly on how facilitators performed, the aim is to address bias and hold facilitators accountable.

The workshop is free, but donations for Shanghai Restaurant are appreciated.

For our facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/430977154424599

Reservations: Jan@Masculinity.info