Coaching

Coaching Reflection exercises

and homework samples

Trigger log — note date/time, trigger, physical sensation, response type, chosen skill, effect (0–10).
Boundary script — write a short assertive sentence and practise it aloud 10 times.
Safety map — list people, places and actions that feel grounding.
Micro-adventures — 1 small act each week that honours a value (e.g., call a friend, go for 10-minute walk).

Step-by-step coaching guide (program outline)

This is a practical pathway you can use in individual coaching sessions or workshops.

Phase 0 — Intake & safety (Session 0)

Establish immediate safety: Ask about suicidality, self-harm, ongoing abuse. Create or update a safety plan if needed.
Consent and boundaries: Describe coaching limits and when a referral to therapy/medicine is necessary.
Baseline assessment: Brief questionnaire or conversation mapping dominant responses, trauma history, supports, and current stressors.
Set initial goals: What does ‘safer’ or ‘better’ look like for this client in 1 month / 3 months?

Phase 1 — Psychoeducation & normalisation (Sessions 1–2)

Teach the Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn/Flop model using simple language and metaphors.
Help the client identify their patterns with real-life examples and timelines.
Assign a daily quick-check: short notes on what response arose and in what situation.

Tools: short handouts, a one-page nervous-system map, symptom tracker.

Phase 2 — Grounding & regulation skills (Sessions 3–6)

Goal: Build immediate nervous-system tools so the client can tolerate activation.

Core exercises:

Breath work (coherent breathing: 4–6 breaths per minute or breath counts adapted to client comfort).
Grounding techniques (5-4-3-2-1 senses exercise, naming objects, clenching/relaxing muscles).
Movement prescriptions: gentle exercise or orientation movement for Fight/Flight; slow, weight-bearing movement for Freeze/Flop; micro-assertions for Fawn.
Safe-place visualisation for dissociation.

Homework: Practice two short techniques daily (2–10 minutes). Track effects.

Phase 3 — Pattern exploration & reframing (Sessions 7–10)

Goal: Understand triggers and the protective function of the response.

Map typical triggers, thoughts, body sensations, and behaviours for one dominant pattern.
Use compassionate curiosity: "What was this strategy trying to protect you from?"
Cognitive reframing: spot automatic beliefs (e.g., ‘If I don’t please, I’ll be abandoned’) and test them in small experiments.

Micro-experiments: graded exposure to avoided situations (for Flight), scripted assertive statements (for Fight and Fawn), brief social boundary trials.

Phase 4 — Skill integration & relational repair (Sessions 11–14)

Goal: Apply new skills in relationships and stressful contexts.

Role-play difficult conversations, using stop/slow signals and grounding.
Build an "if-then" plan: e.g., if I feel triggered (identify first cue), then I will use X grounding skill and say Y.
Social-safety scaffolding: identify allies and disclose small parts of the journey to trusted people.

Phase 5 — Identity & resilience work (Sessions 15–18)

Goal: Strengthen sense of agency, values and identity beyond survival patterns.

Values clarification and small-value-aligned actions.
Narrative work: rewrite the client’s story from a resilience perspective (what they survived rather than what is wrong with them).
Build a relapse-prevention plan: early warning signs and steps.