Peer Pressure

It can be really tempting to do everything you can to fit in with your friends. But if you don't feel comfortable, it's okay to say "no" and make your own choices.

WHAT PEER PRESSURE MEANS

Your friends and peers influence your day to day decisions, even if you don't realise it.

Sometimes this can be a good thing. Maybe a friend suggested a book that's now your favourite.

Other times, they might pressure you to do things you don't want to do. Like hurt someone else, or miss school.

Peer pressure is feeling like you have to do something just because all your friends are doing it. But it's okay to say no and make your own choices. And we're here to give you some tips on how to do it.

Things to remember:

• it's okay to say no to things if you don't feel comfortable

• you can make your own choices

• there are ways to say no to something, but still be accepted and have friends

• there are ways to feel more confident about saying how you feel.

4 WAYS TO SAY NO

It can be hard to say 'no' to your friends, especially when they're all joining in.

Sometimes it can feel like you have to do what they tell you to in order to be accepted. It can make you feel scared and alone.

It's not okay for friends to pressure you like this. And it's not your fault. Try these tips to help:

• Say it with confidence

Be assertive. Practise saying 'no' so that it's easier when someone asks. Avoid situations which feel unsafe or uncomfortable. You could explain that you're going to pay for something instead of stealing it.

• Try not to judge them

By respecting their choices, they should respect yours.

• Spend time with friends who can say 'no'

It takes confidence to say no to your friends. You could try seeing how your other friends stand up to peer pressure and you can try this too.

• Suggest something else to do

If you don't feel comfortable doing what your friends are doing, why not suggest something you could do instead.

BEING PRESSURED TO...

Drink alcohol, take drugs and smoke

Experimenting is part of growing up. But that doesn't mean that you have to drink alcohol, take drugs and smoke.

If your friends are all taking part, it can be hard to say no. But it's your decision, not theirs. And you have the right to decide what you want to do.

Bully others

Bullying can mean different things. If your friends are calling someone names, putting them down, or doing anything to deliberately make someone else feel bad, then this is bullying.

If you're being pressured into bullying someone, it can be really difficult to be able to say no. But there are ways you can stand up to peer pressure:

• practise how to say "no", and what reasons you'd want to give

• avoid situations where you might be asked to join in with bullying

• tell someone like a teacher to make sure it stops

• if you're being pressured into bullying someone online, report it or post positive things

Lose weight or look a certain way

There are a number of ways you might be pressured to be thin. This pressure could be coming from a friend, a family member or an online website or community.

Wherever this pressure is coming from, it can be really harmful for you.

Worrying about losing weight can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia and it's important to recognise if this might be happening to you.

Being healthy means making sure you eat enough food, and don't lose too much weight.

It's normal to not feel happy about parts of yourself. But feeling happy about yourself doesn't only come from your physical appearance (although this is important). It also comes from things you feel on the inside.

Working on ways to build self-esteem can help you to see the things you like about yourself.

Have sex or send sexual messages or images

Having sex is a big decision. And everyone feels ready at different times.

If you don't feel comfortable or ready to have sex with someone, then you shouldn't feel like you have to do it. And if you aren't ready to send sexual messages or images to someone, then you have the right to say that you're not comfortable with this.

If someone's pressuring you to send them sexual messages and you don't know what to say, download the Zipit app. It gives you loads of ways to respond before the situation gets out of control.

Your friends, boyfriend or girlfriend should care about you enough not to pressure you or make you do something you're not happy about.

Find out more about sexting and sex and relationships.

Get into trouble

Whether it's not going to class, stealing, or breaking the law, we may all feel pressured to do something that might get us into trouble at some point in our lives.

Sometimes it's hard to see how a dare or a prank might affect you and your life ahead. Especially if all your friends are doing it.

It can seem fun to join in. And you might trust your friends. But breaking the law can have serious consequences.

Each situation is different, but it's hard to go back and change things if you get in trouble with the police. Remember you have the right to say no.

Try to think it through what will happen if you get caught:

• skipping school - you might be sent home from school.

• shoplifting- you could be arrested or taken to a police station.

• doing something dangerous - like going down hill in a shopping trolley, for instance, What happens if you fall?