Our Stories
"It's always good to see representation and role models, especially when it can sometimes feel like the odds are staked against us and a feeling that we 'aren't meant to achieve'."
We wanted to show you that, although it is tough, there are lots of us and many people who are doing great and good things with their lives and speaking their truth. Here are some of stories as Estranged and Care Experienced students as well as recommended podcasts, people to follow and platforms. You are just as capable as the next person.
Editor Story
Hello!
I am Kez, a Theoretical Physics graduate from Newcastle University and one of the EaCES editorial team.
Backstory
I became estranged unexpectedly at 15 and had no next of kin to live with so spent the next 4 years living with friends. Although I am grateful to have had a roof over my head, I received no support with my mental health issues (which had in part led to my estrangement) and no emotional, financial or housing support from social services despite asking repeatedly. The lack of support put a lot of strain on my relationships with the people I was living with as it was a completely unexpected situation for us all. I knew that my easiest way out was to make it to University so I put everything into trying to make it there.
My time at Uni
I was living in Scotland at the time, but I had my heart set on studying in Newcastle as it was the one place that felt like home to me. At the time, the University had not taken the Stand Alone Pledge and there was little support for estranged students which made my time there quite isolating at times but I was very, very lucky that I got to see a mental health nurse regularly during my first/second year (shoutout Charlotte if you're reading this!). I think it was the first time in my life that an adult had really taken the time to validate my situation and really acknowledge how hard a lot of things had been and were. We talked about the lack of support in general for people like me and she also inspired me to be the change that younger me needed. Fast forward to my last year, I was no longer seeing her but I decided to reach out to the University about the lack of support, help them put some measures in place and encourage them to take the Stand Alone Pledge, I also did some work for the All of Us Community. Lots of little steps, but I do believe that I brought attention to how estranged students fall through the net so many times, and I feel that the University did choose to take proactive steps to help catch us!
After Uni
I graduated in 2023 with a first-class BSc (Hons) in Theoretical Physics, that's not really relevant but I want you to know that coming from any background, you are capable of getting the top grades. I worked a lot of part time jobs alongside Uni because I didn't know where I would have to live after my student loan finished so I needed some savings. I'd always promised younger me that I'd travel at some point so I spontaneously got a visa and flights to Australia. I had no plan, nowhere to live here, and no clue how to live in another country - but with some breakdowns, determination and a lot of resilience, I juggled living situations, work, travel, making new friends and making a lifetime of memories. School aged me who had was just focused on making it through the next few years never have thought that any of this would be possible...
Estranged Students in the Media
BBC News: 'Homeless in the Holidays' - view Cereza's and Connor's stories here.
BBC News : 'The system assumes your parents will help' - view Blair Anderson's story here.
BBC News: 'Getting through uni without the bank of mum and dad' - view Laura's story here.
The Guardian: 'It's painful and difficult' - view Lily's story here.
Times Higher Education: 'Estranged students need more support from universities' - view Emily Nelson's story here.
The Times: 'Universities ‘failing to support’ students cut off from families' - view Beth's story here.
Stand Alone Student Open Letter to HE Sector Blog: 'Summertime as an Estranged Student' - view the blog here.
Estranged: Studying without support from parents - BBC Stories
Estranged student Harvy shares her story, from the breakdown of her relationship with her family, to feeling like she belongs.
Estranged Students: Living without Support - Documentary (2018)
Care Experienced Students in the Media
Leicestershire Live: 'Graduate who faced neglect and abuse as a child shares his story of growing up in care' - Koby's story here.
BBC News: 'Leaving care: ‘I made it to university, but then I fell through the cracks' - view Kim's story here
BBC News: 'Coronavirus: Students with no relatives may have to drop out' - view Stacey Watson's story here.
ITV News: 'Bristol student says care leavers with no family need more support during coronavirus' - view Nadia Sajir's story here.
Channel 4: ' Coronavirus crisis: student care leavers face isolation' - view Hannah Murphy's story here.
The Guardian: 'All my safety nets went overnight' - view Sanna, Shaunna, Lilly, Sharome, Jessica and Zara's stories here.
Daily Mail: 'Aspiring writer who was homeless at 16 becomes first student who grew up in care to graduate from her Cambridge University college' - view Kasmira Kincaid's story here.
Live Q&A: care experienced and estranged students at Oxford and Cambridge
Why I’m Fighting For Change In The Care System: Jamie spent 21 years of his life in care and is a university student
University Talk with CPositivista and Bry, Care Leavers
Platforms we'd 11/10 recommend you check-out
Care Leaver Legacy
The brilliant Keeley Stephenson created this platform in order to strengthen the lives of care experienced people. As a care leaver herself that has managed to defy the odds in many ways, she believes it is important to empower other care leavers to do the same. These are the stories of 18 care leavers who have defied the odds and are doing brilliant things.
Website: https://www.careleaverlegacy.co.uk/
Not Your Average Care Kids
We are two 20-something girls, Emily & Rhianna, who spent time in the care system before turning 18 and are now trying to find their own way in the world.
For us both, being in care wasn’t always an easy or positive experience, however we are fully aware that this isn’t the case for everybody. With this blog, our goal is to provide for other children in care and care leavers something we wish we’d had, when we needed it.
Estrangement Awareness
Brogen Harrison created this platform to raise awareness of family estrangement, being an estranged student and to show that you CAN have a good life In spite of estrangement.
She has also created a fantastic blog on her experiences as an estranged person, especially addressing topics such as holidays, bereavement, trauma and growth.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/estrangement_awareness/
Wordpress: https://myestrangementstory.wordpress.com/
Conversations for care
Conversations for Care facilitates conversations about care by bringing together young people, social workers, foster carers, educators and other professionals together with researchers. These conversations take place on twitter, over coffee and cake, in seminars, meetings, over the phone and innovative workshops. Our aim is to generate new ways of working with the care experienced community for more engaged research.
Please get in touch via their website or visit them on Twitter @convos4care or at #CareConvos
Recommended Podcasts
Daddy Issues Podcast: A podcast created and hosted by actress, Angharad George-Carey. Through interviewing various artists, politicians, media personalities and esteemed entrepreneurs, Angharad proves that absent fathers are in no way a hindrance to success, and, in fact, is often the driving force behind it. Listen on Spotify Apple Podcasts
From Care to Where: is a podcast created and hosted by Christel Dee that shares the inspirational stories of care leavers. Each episode features a care experienced person reflecting on their journey through the care system, the challenges they faced and how they got to where they are today. This podcast aims to address the lack of positive role models for care leavers by showcasing some of the incredible achievements by those who have experienced growing up in local authority care, as well as providing an insight into what it’s like to be a care leaver for those interested to learn more about this issue. Website Instagram
Inside Out with Dillon Nolan: Dillon Nolan is a care experienced activist who has dedicated himself to raising awareness and understanding of the care system that he experienced growing up. In his new podcast series "Inside Out with Dillon Nolan" he talks to people who are making changes in their communities about the challenges they face, and how to overcome them. Listen on Anchor.fm Instagram
Mind Your Thoughts: A podcast for children in foster care and care leavers. Sharing all positive things surrounding care leavers and children in foster care; Providing tips and advice about school, college, university; Bringing real and raw stories about the care system; To educate & inform about, pathway plans, available funding + more . Listen on YouTube Spotify Anchor.fm Instagram
Passport to Parliament: This podcast mini-series was created by the Carefree Cornwall young people through Become’s award winning Passport to Parliament project. The purpose of this project was to ensure these young people’s voices are heard by decision makers who have the ability to change the care system. Each young person discussed a different challenge they have faced whilst being in care. Listen on: Soundcloud
The Care Experience Podcast: This Podcast is explores the experiences of people who grew up in the care system from all over the world. It is presented by a care-leaver Thomas Mongan and an Advocate Peter Lane. It is brought to you by EPIC empowering people in care, an Irish Advocacy and Participation Charity. The Podcast aims to raise awareness and fight stigma by giving a platform to people who know the most about the care-system: the people who experienced it first hand. Listen on Spotify Instagram
This is Us Podcast: A fortnightly podcast by and for care experienced and estranged students. Unite Foundation graduate Paige Mackenzie chats to care leavers and estranged students as they journey through university and beyond, guided by 3 songs that they associate with significant times in their lives. Listen on: Spotify Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Buzzsprout Instagram
The Stand Alone Podcast: In this podcast series we hear from people who are estranged from parents, children, grandchildren and siblings - who have told Jay, our host, their stories. We also hear from Becca, Stand Alone’s founder and CEO, and Jonathon, our support group leader in Edinburgh who will be talking to Jay through each episode. Listen on: PodBean
Who Cares About Research?: was founded in March 2020 by Sophia Alexandra Hall. As both a care leaver, and a University of Oxford graduate, Sophia has spoken at multiple conferences and events as a lived experience voice, and it was attending an academic conference that sparked the idea behind the podcast. The podcast aims to share the world of cutting edge social research with those who it most affects. Every Wednesday, Sophia and Eva A Sprecher will be speaking to leading researchers in their fields about what’s next in the world of social science and why we should care about this research. Listen their website Instagram: @wcarpodcast Twitter: @WCARPodcast
Ashley John-Baptiste is a Senior Digital Reporter at BBC News and a fellow Care Leaver
Some Care Experienced people to follow...
Want to see people like us doing great stuff in this world and fighting for change? If we mention music or podcasts you can find more about them above and in our Creative Corner. We'd recommend you have a look at the work of the fabulous:
_____________________________________________________________________________
Judith AM Denton [Instagram ~ LinkTree ~ Foster Care and Me (author)]
Ashley John-Baptiste [Twitter ~ Instagram ~ BeInspired (event founder)]
CPositivista [Instagram ~ Mind Your Thoughts (podcast founder)]
Keeley Stephenson [Twitter ~ Care Leaver Legacy (website founder)]
Nadia Sajir [Instagram ~ CLES Network (network founder)]
Paige Mack [Instagram ~ This is Us Podcast (host)]
Ric Flo [Twitter ~ Instagram ~ Metro ~ Music: Full Circle ~ SoundDelivery.org]
Sophia Alexandra Hall [Instagram ~ Twitter ~ YouTube ~ WCAR (founder)]
Zara Clench [Twitter ~ Coram Voice Ambassador 2020/21]
Some Estranged people to follow...
Some more wonderful people who have opened up about their estrangement... Please note, some of these people also have care experience!
Amie Waterman [Twitter ~ Durham Estranged Students (founder)]
Kez Rebekah [LinkedIn ~ Highly Commended Unsung Hero at Newcastle for work making Higher Education more accessible to EaCE students.]
Blair Anderson [Twitter ~ Instagram]
Dr Becca Bland [Twitter ~ Stand Alone - Estrangement Charity (founder)]
Nadia Sajir [CLES Network (founder) ~ Instagram]
Want to share your story?
If you want to share your story in any shape or form, you could get in touch with the podcasts above or...
The Care Collective is a creative zine for care experienced individuals, which allows them to share their experience in their own unique way, whether it's through artwork, photography, poetry or creative writing. The zine also offers this opportunity for older voices to be heard, a demographic which is often overlooked. Instagram: @_carecollective
#RealStoriesOfCare: is a project by Coram sharing the voices of young people who have been in care. Care is where we’ve been, not who we are, or who we can be. People often have preconceptions about growing up in care but through our stories about the past, today and the future, we hope to change that. We think that they’ll surprise you, inspire you, and help you see that there’s so much more to us than you may think.
The Unheard Stories Project anonymously (unless you choose to share your name) shares the stories of estranged, orphaned and refugee and care experienced students by EaCES Twitter.
You might also want to see...
Join the EaCES team
This Handbook is made by estranged and care experienced students and we are learning from each other all the time - so we are very grateful for other people's suggestions and ideas! If you'd like to join The EaCES Team please drop us a line here.