Nazarr recites:
"As many of you know, I am a farm boy from the mountains, and I grew up in the human empire."
Nazarr recites:
"I first set foot in New Ta'Faendryl six years ago, shortly after I had arrived in the Landing, and it was something of a shock."
Lylia murmurs, "I can well imagine."
Speaking to Nazarr, Ysharra says, "We all sympathize, there."
Nazarr recites:
"I had never imagined the elegance, the grandeur, or the formality of a city full of dark elves, and my command of the Faendryl dialect was, shall we say, less than perfect. I was conversant in Dark Elven and Elven, but Faendryl, at that time, was far beyond me."
Nazarr's cheeks flush with a deep shade of red.
Xanthium says, "The Landing is strange to visitors and immigrants all the same."
Nazarr recites:
"Over time, I became aware that I, like many dark elves, was a product of adaptation. As our people have scattered in the aftermath of war, jealousy, racial hatred, and fear, we have striven to blend into multiracial communities--like the Landing--while still remaining wholly ourselves."
Nazarr nods at Xanthium.
Nazarr recites:
"One way that diasporic dark elves adapt is through food."
Nazarr recites:
"Much traditional Faendryl cuisine is based on what was available in the desert caverns of Rhoska-Tor, so there is a heavy emphasis on mushrooms, bats, snakes, lizards, insects, and arachnids."
Nazarr smiles sympathetically at the audience, clearly aware that not everyone considers such foods appetizing.
Nazarr recites:
"As one may imagine, desert-and-cave spawned ingredients are not always easy to find in other environments, so a great deal of substitution is necessary."
Nazarr recites:
"Two traditional Faendryl foods are fried glazed bat chunks and a grilled lizard and locust kabob."
Nazarr helps himself to some fried glazed bat chunks.
(Nazarr shows the audience a platter filled with honey-glazed and batter-covered dark meat chunks which are not recognizable as any particular type of food. Some may catch a faint whiff of citrus or of ginger.)
Speaking unconvincingly to Nazarr, Rohese says, "How lovely."
Rohese bites her lip.
Nazarr recites:
"The meal known as "bat chunks" is easy to adapt to local cuisine. The "mock bat", as it is called, is generally the cheapest and most readily available of meat."
Nazarr recites:
"This is because, over the centuries, many suspicious and ignorant guards have broken into homes, claiming that a traditional Faendryl meal was a necromantic or demon-summoning ritual. Most diasporic Faendryl automatically offer the chunks to disprove this claim."
Nazarr recites:
"It is much safer to do this if the food is something that such guards will easily recognize."
Speaking to Rohese, Ysharra says, "Very savory."
Phanna murmurs, "Oh! It's a bit spicy, but quite good."
Nazarr recites:
"The "bat chunks" my mother makes contain no bat."
Lylia confesses, "I always enjoy watching someone take their first bite of mock bat."
Nazarr recites:
"In summer, they are made of fresh fish from mountain streams. The fish are sprinkled with wild herbs and then fried in butter. As it's fried, a few drops of honey are drizzled on it."
Nazarr recites:
"In autumn, after the hogs have been butchered, she makes them from pork that has been baked in apples. Once the baking is done, she lightly brushes the chunks with the past spring's maple syrup and then fries them in a pan for about two seconds."
Nazarr recites:
"And in winter, the "bat chunks" are slices of pickled mutton sprinkled with bay leaves, thyme, and cloves, and served with crushed juniper berries."
Nazarr admits, "The pork is my favorite--probably because growing up on a sheep and rolton farm means lots of mutton on the dinner table--but I have to admit that I love juniper berries."
Nazarr recites:
"Anyway, those are far from the only variations."
Nazarr enthuses, "Venison dipped in honey and then fried is common fare for many dark elves living in near-invisibility in heavily forested areas of the Empire. Coastal regions favor "silver darlings"--herrings--dusted with sea salt and served with fresh kelp."
Nazarr states, "In areas where undead are a serious problem, the "bat chunks" are never red meat and are always cooked until there is no blood... presumably to convince any of the aforementioned panic-stricken guards that they are not being invited to eat people."
Rohese glances over at Nazarr and winces.
Nazarr rolls his eyes.
Phanna gazes in amusement at Nazarr.
Xanthium says, "Intriguing."
Speaking naively to Nazarr, Rohese asks, "Is that true?"
Nazarr nods at Rohese.
Speaking to Rohese, Xanthium says, "There are a number of...stereotypes, true and scandalous- attached to the Faendryl."
Lylia flatly says, "We sour the milk, rust the knives, and turn cucumbers to pickles at a glance."
Rohese lightly exclaims, "I've always found you all to be completely delightful and not scandalous at all!"
Xanthium asks, "Steal children, for some reason. Why do they think we would want their children?"
Speaking to Rohese, Nazarr says, "Think of the most stupid thing people will believe, and know that someone somewhere believes something a hundred times more foolish."
Rohese giggles softly at Nazarr.
Lylia nods at Nazarr.
Nazarr continues, "Anyway. Where there are a thousand variants for fried glazed bat chunks, there's a bit more uniformity with grilled lizard and locust kabobs."
Nazarr helps himself to a grilled lizard and locust kabob.
Nazarr smiles as he shows the kabob to the audience. Some may notice a scent of sage, mesquite, and fiery red pepper.
Nazarr recites:
"Locusts are not common where I grew up, as they only hatch every couple of decades."
Nazarr mutters thankthegods.
Nazarr recites:
"And while it is possible to capture and fatten up a large lizard over the course of a year and then kill it before a festival, you're probably not going to find a lizard immense enough to feed four adults and four children."
Nazarr recites:
"Such lizards undoubtedly do thrive somewhere on Elanith... but I'm not sure that any villages in their vicinity have survived."
Nazarr forces a grin and laughs nervously.
Nazarr recites:
"If your "grilled lizard and locust kabob" features no locust and very little lizard, then obviously you need to adapt the recipe."
Nazarr recites:
"A common adaptation in the human empire involves swapping the lizard for chicken. After all, chicken tastes exactly like lizard, and consuming chicken raises the eyebrows of fewer neighbors."
Lylia points out, "The kabobs over here are made with actual locusts. The pastries, however, are close to what Nazarr describes."
Nazarr recites:
"The chicken slices are grilled in a spicy red pepper sauce while the "locusts"--generally either lamb or goat meat in locust-shaped pastry shells pierced with skewer holes--bake and simmer in onions and garlic."
Rillarie licks her lips.
Nazarr helps himself to a stuffed locust-shaped pastry.
Nazarr recites:
"Once the "lizard" meat and "locust" pastries are done, they are placed on skewers along with grilled mushrooms, peppers, onions, wild herbs, and whatever else you want to add. Cheese is popular, for instance."
Nazarr wheezes, "Traditionally, the only drink served with this is water, preferably containing chips of ice--and trust me, ice water is exactly what you're going to need!"
Nazarr fans himself.
Nazarr elaborates, "Other kabob variants involve duck grilled in mushroom wine or plum wine, swan grilled with yellow peppers, heron grilled with frogs' legs, and so on. In coastal regions in the human empire, the most common variant features a common fish such as grilled flounder as the lizard, while lobster--the poor man's meat, as human commoners call it--is the "locust."
Xanthium says, "I don't know if I've ever eaten heron."
Nazarr recites:
"But of all of them, I prefer the chicken adaptation, both for its choice of fowl--water birds and wasteland caverns do not go together well in my mind--and for its mouth-scalding spiciness, which is supposed to simulate the merciless heat of the desert."
Nazarr recites:
"Finally, we need to discuss the most important part of any meal: dessert!"
Nazarr recites:
"Unfortunately, underground caves tend to be bereft of sugar, chocolate, eggs, butter, and cream, just to name a few ingredients that most desserts deem vital. Very few Faendryl desserts originated in Rhoska-Tor, and those that did are so rooted in the wastelands that substitution doesn't seem like the way to go."
Nazarr recites:
"Take, for example, chilled prickly pears served with a cool syrup made from gelled prickly pear juice, thyme honey, and cinnamon."
Xanthium says, "Mm, prickly pear."
Nazarr recites:
"I can't say I've ever had this dessert. Prickly pears are the fruit of cacti, and cacti aren't native to my mountains."
Nazarr recites:
"Plus you need a sturdy knife and fork to peel them and some strong gauntlets to protect your hands--as well as three separate boilings and as many pressings with a potato masher."
Xanthium says, "It's mildly citrus-like, in flavor."
Rohese softly says, "Now that sounds delicious."
Nazarr recites:
"In a way, I'm amazed that dishes involving less thorny, more readily available, and more tractable fruits haven't caught on."
Nazarr recites:
"And yet in another way, I'm not."
Nazarr recites:
"Stubbornness and thorniness are intrinsic to our nature, after all. It's one thing to prepare a meal that is affordable and that won't result in suspicion, distrust, arrest, or death. It's another to remake yourself into the image of your non-Faendryl neighbors."
Nazarr recites:
"Perhaps that is the best way of defining our people. We will adapt when necessary to fit in better, to save our lives, or to gain power--and we will be both tempting and delectable while doing so."
Nazarr smiles.
Nazarr recites:
"But we do not, at bottom, change who we are."
Lylia exclaims, "Delectable presentation, Nazarr!"
Ysharra exclaims, "Well-done! Such a great presentation!"
Nazarr says, "I thank you all for attending."
Xanthium exclaims, "Thank you, my friend! What an articulate way of making us all famished!"
Xanthium exclaims, "And please, everyone, help yourself, if you haven't already- several times!"
Nazarr says, "And I hope you are enjoying the food."