Diaspora at the Dining Table:

Xanthium greets, "Welcome to today's first presentation of the Faendryl Symposium! This afternoon was supposed to be a memoir from our member and Bardfest finalist Nazarr, but the powers that be have kept him from joining us today. Rather than cancel, Lord Nazarr has given me permission to share his observations with you."

Xanthium recites, "Thus, today I will be reading - Diaspora at the Dining Table: Traditional Faendryl Cuisine in the Human Empire, by Nazarr Csaba Faendryl."

Xanthium begins, "As many of you know, I am a farm boy from the mountains, and I grew up in the human empire. I first set foot in New Ta'Faendryl three years ago, shortly after I had arrived in the Landing, and it was something of a shock. I had never imagined the elegance, the grandeur, or the formality of a city full of dark elves, and my command of the Faendryl dialect was, shall we say, less than perfect. I was conversant in Dark Elven and Elven, but Faendryl, at that time, was far beyond me."

Xanthium suggests, "Over time, I became aware that I, like many dark elves, was a product of adaptation. As our people have scattered in the aftermath of war, jealousy, racial hatred, and fear, we have striven to blend into multiracial communities--like the Landing--while still remaining wholly ourselves."

Xanthium says, "Two traditional Faendryl foods are fried glazed bat chunks and a grilled lizard and locust kabob."

Xanthium glances at some fried glazed bat chunks on a dining table.

Xanthium glances at a grilled lizard and locust kabob on a dining table.

You say, "And we do not even have Thrassus."

Xanthium proposes, "The meal known as "bat chunks" is easy to adapt to local cuisine. The "mock bat", as it is called, is generally the cheapest and most readily available of meat. This is because, over the centuries, guards have broken into homes, claiming that a meal was a necromantic or demon-summoning ritual. Many automatically offer the chunks to disprove this claim. It is much safer to do this if the food is something that the guards will recognize."

Xanthium grins slowly at you.

Xanthium says, "It's hard to imagine being subject to an inquistion over a fried bat, but there it is."

Akenna grins.

Rohese wrinkles her nose.

Xanthium says, "The "bat chunks" my mother makes contain no bat. In summer, they are made of fresh fish from mountain streams. The fish are sprinkled with wild herbs and then fried in butter. As it's fried, a few drops of honey are drizzled on it."

Xanthium continues, "In autumn, after the hogs have been butchered, she makes them from pork that has been baked in apples. Once the baking is done, she lightly brushes the chunks with the past spring's maple syrup and then fries them in a pan for about two seconds."

Speaking softly to Akenna, Rohese whispers aloud, "That actually sounds delicious."

Akenna nods in agreement at Rohese.

Speaking to Rohese, Akenna whispers aloud, "So does that one."

Ceriun nods understandingly.

Xanthium adds, "And in winter, the "bat chunks" are slices of pickled mutton sprinkled with bay leaves, thyme, and cloves, and served with crushed juniper berries."

Rohese nods in agreement at Akenna.

Melikor nods slowly at Berkana.

Rohese cocks her head at Xanthium.

Xanthium says, "Mm, that one makes my mouth water. I love mutton."

Akenna gives a short little hum of surprise.

Berkana raises an eyebrow.

Xanthium elaborates, "But those are far from the only variations. Venison dipped in honey and then fried is common fare for many dark elves living in near-invisibility in heavily forested areas of the Empire. Coastal regions favor "silver darlings"--herrings--dusted with sea salt and served with fresh kelp. In areas where undead are a serious problem, the "bat chunks" are never red meat and are always cooked until there is no blood... presumably to convince any foolishly panic-stricken guards that they are not being invited to eat people."

Speaking disappointedly to Akenna, Rohese whispers aloud, "It's going to be so hard not to taste things this afternoon."

Akenna grins at Rohese.

Xanthium snickers.

Rohese wrinkles her nose.

Viria blinks.

Speaking to Rohese, Akenna says, "Oh no, that's right."

(Berkana licks the last of the sticky sauce off of her fingers.)

Xanthium thoughtfully says, "But where there are a thousand variants for fried glazed bat chunks, there's a bit more uniformity with grilled lizard and locust kabobs."

Xanthium glances at a grilled lizard and locust kabob on a dining table.

Rohese nods slowly at Akenna.

Rohese blushes sheepishly to herself.

Xanthium explains, "Locusts are not common where I grew up, as they only hatch every couple of decades. While it is possible to capture and fatten up a large lizard over the course of a year and then kill it before a festival, you're probably not going to find a lizard immense enough to feed four adults and four children. Such lizards most likely do live somewhere on Elanith... but I'm not sure the villages in their vicinity still do."

Speaking to Rohese, Faerinn asks, "Oh, no, are you ill?"

Rohese vigorously shakes her head at Faerinn.

Speaking softly to Faerinn, Rohese mouths, "I fast."

Rohese wrinkles her nose.

Speaking to Rohese, Faerinn exclaims, "Oh!"

Xanthium snickers.

Viria ponders.

Xanthium urbanely says, "If your "grilled lizard and locust kabob" features no locust and very little lizard, then obviously you need to adapt the recipe."

Speaking to Rohese, you say, "We do offer these foods regularly, should you return."

Xanthium grins.

Viria begins chuckling at Xanthium!

Xanthium offers, "A common adaptation in the human empire involves swapping the lizard for chicken. After all, chicken tastes exactly like lizard, and consuming chicken raises the eyebrows of fewer neighbors."

Rohese lets out a sigh of relief for you.

Xanthium rocks back on her heels.

Speaking softly to you, Rohese whispers aloud, "I would like that very much."

You smile at Rohese.

Faerinn says, "Makes sense. Different families of the same animal."

Xanthium mutters, "Everything tastes of chicken, which makes the saying rather meaningless."

Xanthium fondly says, "The chicken slices are grilled in a spicy red pepper sauce while the "locusts"--generally either lamb or goat meat in locust-shaped pastry shells pierced with skewer holes--bake and simmer in onions and garlic. Once the "lizard" meat and "locust" pastries are done, they are placed on skewers along with grilled mushrooms, peppers, onions, wild herbs, and whatever else you want to add. Cheese is popular, for instance."

Rohese raises an eyebrow in Faerinn's direction.

Rohese smiles quietly to herself.

Faerinn helps himself to a grilled lizard and locust kabob.

Viria says, "That sounds divine."

Xanthium nods slowly at Viria.

Rohese agrees with Viria.

Berkana says, "Now, the latter part I would eat. Pastry always wins out."

Viria nods at Berkana.

Speaking to Viria, Xanthium says, "You should have seen the look on my face when Nazarr described it to me from his notes."

Viria grins at Xanthium.

Xanthium says, "I was enraptured and still can't wait to try that variant."

Xanthium exclaims, "Traditionally, the only drink served with this is water, preferably containing chips of ice--and trust me, ice water is exactly what you're going to need!"

Xanthium grins.

Viria fans herself.

Xanthium continues, "Other kabob variants involve duck grilled in mushroom wine or plum wine, swan grilled with yellow peppers, heron grilled with frogs' legs, and so on. In coastal regions in the human empire, the most common variant features a common fish such as grilled flounder as the lizard and lobster--the poor man's meat, as human commoners call it--as the "locust." But of all of them, I prefer the chicken adaptation, both for its choice of fowl--water birds and wasteland caverns do not go together well in my mind--and for its mouth-scalding spiciness, which is supposed to simulate the merciless heat of the desert."

Rohese softly giggles.

Speaking to herself, Akenna mumbles, "Land bugs, water bugs...all the same probably."

Speaking to Akenna, Faerinn exclaims, "Exactly!"

Speaking disgustedly to Akenna, Rohese whispers aloud, "Bugs though?"

Rohese shudders.

You note, "Many people like lobster."

Rohese wrinkles her nose.

Xanthium adds, "It adds another level of heat to me, personally, but i live in a swamp and Serve Lust. So..."

Xanthium eagerly says, "Finally, we need to discuss the most important part of any meal: dessert! Unfortunately, underground caves tend to be bereft of sugar, chocolate, eggs, butter, and cream, just to name a few ingredients that most desserts deem vital. Very few Faendryl desserts originated in Rhoska-Tor, and those that did are so rooted in the wastelands that substitution doesn't seem like the way to go."

Akenna shrugs noncommittally at Rohese.

Viria grins.

Rohese nods understandingly at Xanthium.

Xanthium says, "I'm sad to say we don't have examples of what's coming up, but if you all would like an ice, this would be a good time to pretend."

Xanthium grins slowly.

Xanthium says, "Take, for example, chilled prickly pears served with a cool syrup made from gelled prickly pear juice, thyme honey, and cinnamon."

Faerinn says, "I did like watching the giant bugs race and fight in Solhaven before we ate them though."

Speaking to her locust kabob, Berkana says, "Not entirely too unpleasant."

Rohese's face turns slightly pale.

Rohese glances away.

You gaze in amusement at Faerinn.

Guarrin nods in agreement at Faerinn.

Xanthium amusedly says, "I can't say I've ever had this dessert. Prickly pears are the fruit of cacti, and cacti aren't native to my mountains. Plus you need a sturdy knife and fork to peel them and some strong gauntlets to protect your hands--as well as three separate boilings and as many pressings with a potato masher. In a way, I'm amazed that dishes involving less thorny, more readily available, and more tractable fruits haven't caught on."

Rohese giggles softly at Xanthium.

Viria chuckles.

You say, "We do have a honeydew ice, that might be our closest approximation."

Xanthium says, "Unlike Nazarr, I have had it, and it's wonderfully refreshing. The effort just adds to the splendor of it."

(Berkana picks a bit of locust leg out from between her teeth.)

Viria nods at Xanthium.

Rohese glances over at Berkana and winces.

Xanthium says, "And yet in another way, I'm not. Stubbornness and thorniness are intrinsic to our nature, after all. It's one thing to prepare a meal that is affordable and that won't result in suspicion, distrust, arrest, or death. It's another to remake yourself into the image of your non-Faendryl neighbors."

Xanthium ardently says, "Perhaps that is the best way of defining our people. We will adapt when necessary to fit in better, to save our lives, or to gain power--and we will be both tempting and delectable while doing so. But we do not, at bottom, change who we are."

Xanthium says, "Thank you, I hope you enjoyed Lord Nazarr's work. I'm afraid I can't answer questions about his mother's cooking, but I'm sure he would appreciate your interest in his experiences."