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Poem
trivialities
who am i?
am i not the total sum
of trivial pursuits
of moments i’ve spent
engaged in trivial tasks
occupied by trivial thoughts, trivial facts?
if i scream on the edge of ocean cliffs
because i’ve lost my way
is it not trivial?
if i cry tears of happiness
because i’m standing in pouring rain
is it not trivial?
if i stare at the ceiling mindless
because i haven’t eaten in days
is it not trivial?
how trivial my internal shame
but also how trivial is a baseball game?
how trivial my wantless disorder
yet just as trivial is the american quarter
yes, these trivialities add together
still it’s only for a while, and then gone forever
now if we did trivia about me
“how well does everyone know
Zachary?”
it’d be trivial because not everyone sees
that trivially i’ve pursued many things
trivially i’ve seen hopes fade to distant dreams
trivially i’ve been at new lows i wish i’d never seen
and trivially i’ve come back better than i’d ever been
trivially i’ve broken friendships for less than i should
trivially i’ve mended fences (i thought i never would)
and trivially, i’ve grown when i wasn’t sure i could
if not so trivial, all my triumphs,
all my faults, and whatever other
then aren’t they significant?
yet significance yields thought and action
it requires my energy, it’s nagging persistence
so trivial they should be, everything without reaction
for one too many times i have given and given
and just as many times i have wept in realization
that the life i’ve led has been so insignificant
it must just be trivial
but, isn’t that logic just as trivial?
my mistakes and my hardships
my progress and my achievements
shouldn’t they matter to me?
do i deem them insignificant
because they are what the world does not see
do i reduce every moment
to mere triviality
because i mourn time lost, happiness past
and everything in between?
so, yes, i am many trivial moments
many i wish i would forget
many i wish i could live again
many i know will be made when
i break free from my own prison
of insignificance
This is my piece I have titled trivialities. The poem was written in free form. I wrote this piece to discuss what has felt sometimes like an insignificant life I have led. Beyond mental health issues, losing many people in my life in the past few years, and coming to terms with an eating disorder and the many consequences of it, I have searched far and wide for purpose and a feeling of “belonging” in our world. Finding none, I have tried to reduce my experiences to trivialities, or what I have attempted to make my whole past millions of insignificant moments. In doing so I realize that while there are a great many things in life that are somewhat trivial, and in the great wide world we are all somewhat insignificant. So this piece is me, reconciling the fact that while most of my life has been a bit trivial (especially from the perspective of others), that does not diminish the importance of what each moment is to me. Thank you.
