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This page used to be two different pages. In the first document you would come to from the, "Various Starts," index, I originally instructed you to, "see also the introduction I typed on this page". [That link will bring you back to this page.] I have now incorporated the two pages into this one page. After the line of ~s below you will find the original version of this text that was on the page here. I have no idea if these two texts are different or the same.
I was trying to write it in, "past tense". I am finding it very difficult to do that. Some sentences do not seem to make sense if they are in past tense. I left some sentences in present tense. Some are not 100% past tense. This is a really rough, rough draft.
OSBERT PICKLE MAY 26, 2012 TEST
CHAPTER ONE
There was a rhythmic sound to the static on the radio. Was it an army on the march? Was it a machine in a factory pressing out widgets? Who ever was in charge of the train's radio must have fallen asleep. They neglected to turn off the radio at the end of the evening music program. Two to three hours ago, Mosdubia State Radio No. 1 going off the air caused the static that lulled us all to sleep.
The train had its own rhythm running underneath everything else. The rocking motion made the sleep deep considering we slept in a strange place. The occasional whistle of the train caused us to dream the unusual. A child could be heard as it awakened for a moment and nestled closer to his mother to fall asleep again.
The dreams, sounds and motion came and went weaving in and out in individual waves. I dreamed about how wonderful this sleep was. Yet I wouldn't want to sleep like this every day.
Everything was as peaceful as it got on a moving train in the wee hours of the morning. Then everyone was awakened. The screech of brakes, the cry of children, the screams of men and women, all happened at once. A collective, "What in the world," was heard. As we shook the cobwebs out, three men stood up to go find out what had happened.
A shaken woman replaced the static of the radio. "With sincere apologies... It seems we have struck snow. Everyone should remain calm. Um... We could be here a while? Oh! They have to dig us out. Is there enough food? Yes! We are prepared for any and all emergencies... Stay calm. Stay seated. We will let you know when breakfast is ready for serving."
Having gone through this sort of thing before, I assessed my situation. I had an apple, an orange, some cheese and bread, plus some sweets left from a portable lunch I brought with me. The sweets and fruit would come in handy if I wanted to trade for something another passenger had. I had a container of real water for my little dog Napoleon and I. I had enough dog food to last two or three days at most. I figured I would supplement Napoleon's food with what I could scrounge for him. Will they let me take him out for a walk?
If I needed to, I could have used some newspaper I saved, for his, "business". But I would rather have the newspaper for when people got so bored they see, "things" in others they would normally over look. Tensions run high then. The newspaper pulled out soon enough might avert__________.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am [WAS] sticking this on here so Douglas can [COULD] print it out. This is [ONE OF] various editions of my trying out the beginnings of my story. (Our printer is [WAS] not in working order right now [THEN]. We haven't [HADN'T] made the time to go and get a new one.)
I was in a hurry when I typed this text from my hand written notes. I tried to spell everything correctly. My notes were sort of a scribble as I was writing fast when I wrote them. (I can write neater.) I haven't read this over yet. I will read it before I turn off the editing of this page. If there are any glitches to this after that, I am sorry.
There could be other problems with this. The punctuation might be horrible. I need to find a grammarian in order to learn better punctuation etc. I was mainly trying to get it in first person and past tense. I was going to, "worry" with the other issues later. I was also trying to get this printed out so I could read it smoother than trying to read the scribbled notes.
Any help with this will be appreciated.
OSBERT PICKLE MAY 26, 2012 TEST
by Writerwithbottles
CHAPTER ONE
There was a rhythmic sound to the static on the radio. Was it an army on the march? Was it a machine in a factory pressing out widgets? Who ever was in charge of the train's radio must have fallen asleep. They neglected to turn off the radio at the end of the evening music program. Two to three hours ago, Mosdubia State Radio No. 1 going off the air caused the static that lulled us all to sleep.
The train had its own rhythm running underneath everything else. The rocking motion made the sleep deep considering we slept in a strange place. The occasional whistle of the train caused us to dream the unusual. A child could be heard as it awakened for a moment and nestled closer to his mother to fall asleep again.
The dreams, sounds and motion came and went weaving in and out in individual waves. I dreamed about how wonderful this sleep was. Yet I wouldn't want to sleep like this every day.
Everything was as peaceful as it got on a moving train in the wee hours of the morning. Then everyone was awakened. The screech of brakes, the cry of children, the screams of men and women, all happened at once. A collective, "What in the world," was heard. As we shook the cobwebs out, three men stood up to go find out what had happened.
A shaken woman replaced the static of the radio. "With sincere apologies... It seems we have struck snow. Everyone should remain calm. Um... We could be here a while? Oh! They have to dig us out. Is there enough food? Yes! We are prepared for any and all emergencies... Stay calm. Stay seated. We will let you know when breakfast is ready for serving."
Having gone through this sort of thing before, I assessed my situation. I had an apple, an orange, some cheese and bread, plus some sweets left from a portable lunch I brought with me. The sweets and fruit would come in handy if I wanted to trade for something another passenger had. I had a container of real water for my little dog Napoleon and I. I had enough dog food to last two or three days at most. I figured I would supplement Napoleon's food with what I could scrounge for him. Will they let me take him out for a walk?
If I needed to, I could have used some newspaper I saved, for his, "business". But I would rather have the newspaper for when people got so bored they see, "things" in others they would normally over look. Tensions run high then. The newspaper pulled out soon enough might avert__________.
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