July152012

VERSION TWO OSBERT PICKLE JUNE 16, 2012 TEST /GLUED IN BOOK JUNE 18, 2012 / TYPED IN COMPUTER JULY 15, 2012

by Writerwithbottles

CHAPTER ONE: In Cloth Boards

Bleaker Street Poems [change both titles?]

Look at this rail car for example. Was it made before the Third War for Independence? It is an example of how they don't make things the way they used to. This car was built to last. It even has hard wearing leather seats. The modern cars use some kind of plastic.

I do know what you mean, said Osbert Pickle to the man sitting across the isle. I find most goods that should be called, "durable," are not constructed with enough care.

Are you headed to [town name]?

No, I'm going to Vilinošs.

My family are going to Vilinošs as well. [Hope you have your permits in order. Conversation with man launches into how to get into city. Pasport stamp needed, (like visa) etc. Discuss city with passengers. If don't have permits etc., need gold coins to give to inspector.]

We are taking my son to a specialist doctor.

Is he sick?

God has done great things! We are traveling to show the doctor that our son is healed. Our local doctor says he does not need any more treatment.

It's wonderful that your son is healed [BETTER]. I would be careful how you tell the doctor, you know what skeptics they can be. Wouldn't want you turned in for, "contravening modernization," [OR WHATEVER IT IS CALLED THESE DAYS]. I'm not sure what they call it these days. Before you know it they'll call you Pret and arrest you.

I am not afraid of a doctor! God is more powerful than his science. Remember, if God does great things for us, he will do great things for you! You and your little dog were on the train when we got on. How many days have you been on here? [Have Osbert get on after the man and family.]

Let's see, today is the 22^nd, 21^st, 20^th, we've been on here two days going on three. [Osbert on train AFTER family. Need to introduce Osbert and family as he gets on. Man asks where Osbert has been?]

You must have come here from [town name].

Yes.

We have traveled this way so much with our boy, we know the route quite well. [Before these next two sentences, have Osbert tell man it is his first time in Vilinošs.] You should try and stay at the Rumback hotel. They have half rooms. Quite cheap for luxury hotel.

[look for number of, "quites" in man's speech.] They don't ask questions in there. Very clean too. [have wife say this one. Other passengers give information about half rooms etc. of Rumback hotel.] They don't arrest you in there, hope building doesn't spit you back out etc.

I've been hearing about the Rumback. They are a legendary hotel.

Momma, I'm hungry.

Gregory, go take your son for butter bread. Bring me cup of tea. We need sleep soon. [the man takes son... Family would have food with them. It is winter they would need to bundle up before going from car to car---shoes coat etc.]

"...rocked by an explosion this morning. The town, 70 km from Vilinošs, has not seen this level of violence since the end of the Third War for Independence. Police suspect that it is yet again another Pret atroticity. No one has claimed responsibility." [Woman across from Osbert comments that terrorists are getting worse and worse.]

They've turned on the radio?

Yes, they turn on the evening radio program. It is usually off after the night music program. I heard they think the music will help people sleep. It is getting dark out. At least we cannot see the snow outside. It's been nothing but fields of snow all day.

Momma! Papa got me a strawberry sweet.

Gregory!

Papa, if someone says, they have time on their hands, does it mean they juggle clocks?

Very funny! I will answer you tomorrow. It is time for sleep. Momma and I will sleep now too. [family curls up to sleep]

Conductor, when is our next stop?

That will be in about an hour.

Will I be able to get my dog for a walk? [will I be able to TAKE my dog for a walk]

Yes, sir. We will be there a few minutes loading and unloading. Just make sure you remind me that you will be leaving the train. [make sure you tell me you are back on too] I wouldn't want to leave you behind.

Thank you.

Napoleon, you've been such a good dog. The next stop is in about an hour. The conductor said there will be enough time to take you for a walk. [Show conversation. (to what?)-- I think it is the conversation of Osbert and the conductor with regards "take you for a walk"? Or is it to do with next section where Osbert is mentioning that his fellow passengers are sleeping?] Everyone in this car seems to be falling asleep, despite the train's radio being left on. I need to stay awake so I can get you out later.

Paper and pencil... I want to get a half room at the Rumback. I have saved and scrimped, slept on enough floors. I haven't made it this far to do that again. I could have bought a number one ticket, but I foregoed that so I could sit with families and save money. Now I can stay a good while in a half room.

[Osbert muses about books he has for sale. Ones he wants to find for that particularly good customer he has kept many years.]

[Have passengers build up hotel before city reached]

When I get the room sorted, I want to place an ad in the newspaper. I want all of Vilinošs to know that I'm in town with books to sell. Well, maybe I want certain people to know I am in town. That reminds me, I should write Annabelle and let her know my new address. Annabelle, Annabelle,... Unlike my parents who were born... OOPS!

My parents were born during peacetime, between the Wars for Independence. Annabelle and I grew up having known nothing but war. During this time, I would find my escape in books and the radio. We had a radio that picked up broadcasts from across the seas. On the odd Saturday I could be found in [Brisbanes?] bookshop. Some of the greatest moments of my life happened there. Reading was like eating one of those soups [autumn soups] that someone makes where they put what food they have in a big pot and cook it all day. If you've been outside doing hard labour, [work] you come in and find it [the soup] is the best soup you ever tasted. As a boy I liked to spend rainy days in Brisbnes bookshop. That's where I met Elsa. She worked in there one summer. Listen up Napoleon, I'm going to read to you so I can try to stay awake. I bought this [book of poems at] my first stop away from home. I bought it to give to Elsa when I find her. [Not so many, "this is"s.]

This is a very silly book. "Upside Down Poems for Insdideout Days." I don't think all of these should be called poems. This one's called, "Please Do". "Cooking pot; Steam; Increase humidity (some); Boil pot / Stove; Get pot / Basement (larder); Do cook water; Yes, yes, yes!; (Please)". Wouldn't it have been easier to write, "Please bring up the pot we boil water in, from the basement larder."? ["PLEASE BRING UP FROM THE BASEMENT LARDER, THE POT WE BOIL WATER IN."]

"The cat lies sleeping by the fire my dear. Contented sleeping by the fire my dear..."

We used to keep cats on the farm. They are good to keep the mice out of the barn. What I wouldn't give to be at home amongst the family. My sister Annabelle singing softly as she puts the finishing touches on a blackberry pie. [Add Elsa in here somewhere.] The kids [Annabelle's kids] are scurrying around -- no, wait, she tells me how grown they are now. My how time has past. As much as I want to be back on the farm, I must finish my mission. Elsa find herself!

"Sleeping by the fire my dear..." Hmmm. This book of poetry seems to be loosing its flavor. I would try to sell it, but with the loose binding and dog eared pages, I wouldn't get much for it. I could sell it to someone for fuel. But a person that desperate seldom has any money. I'll just keep it [in case]. Besides, Elsa likes poetry. And who knows, the poems might regain their flavor eventually.

Urgh! They are playing that awful detective program...

Consider the humble book... Books are made of words. Words are very important. We speak in words. We think in words.

..."I had a strange dream last night."

Dreamers, dream. Writers write. Dreams get written down. Trees get made into paper. Words get printed onto pages.

..."I think I read about that in a book once."

Pages are bound into books. Books are placed are placed onto shelves.

..."Oh! You read books?" "Yes!"

Books get read. Readers dream. Writers write.

..."Now there's an idea!..."

Ideas are good. Ideas are bad. Ideas are very important.

..."I'm glad I thought of it." "...Help!..."

Elsa! Osbert calls out as he tries to get his bearings. It's ok Napoleon, it won't be long till we stop.

"...Next week we find Boswell up a tree without a cat..."

[Put this section before the dream?] There is a rhythmic sound to the static on the radio. Is it an army on the march? Is it a machine in a factory pressing out widgets? Whomever is in charge of the train's radio must have fallen asleep. They neglected to turn off the radio at the end of the evening music program. Mosdubia State Radio Number 1 going off the air causes the static that luls all [the passengers] to sleep.

The train has its own rhythm running underneath everything else. The rocking motion makes the sleep deep considering everyone sleeps in a strange place. The occasional whistle of the engine invades their sleep causing them to dream the unusual. A child is heard as he nestles closer to his mother.

The dreams, sounds and motion come and go weaving in and out in individual waves. Is Osbert starts [STARTING] to dream about how wonderful this sleep is? [I DOUBT] He wouldn't [WOULD] want to sleep like this every night. [Put this section before the dream?]

Everything is as peaceful as it gets on a moving train in the wee hours of the morning. Sleep puts some things into perspective. Events get rearranged and put back together. What we don't see on Monday afternoon, might be clearer on Tuesday morning.

Is that the train slowing down? Napoleon needs to go for a walk. Elsa, I caught your dog chasing after a rabbit [one of the hens]... Elsa?

The screech of brakes, the cry of children, the shouts of men and women, all happen at once. A collective, "What in the world?", was heard. It was as if a giant had grabbed the car and shook it. They [passengers] struggled to right themselves and their belongings as we [they] removed [REMOVE] the cobwebs from our [their] minds. [Narrator can't possibly know what was in their minds?] The prevailing consensus amongst the mumerings I [Osbert hears this. Narratgor is telling it?--"no Us, We, or Our from narrator"] was able to hear, was that our train is stopped by a Pret attack. [some time happens before these mumerings are heard] After we consoled each other and made sure there were not serious injuries, a man stood up and bravely said, "Thank God, everyone seems to be ok". [the man across from Osbert] Three men agree to go find out what happened. [DECIDE to go find out?]

Before the men could leave, a shaken woman replaced the static on the radio. "With sincere apologies... It seems we have struck snow. You should remain calm. Umm... We could be here a while? Oh! They have to dig us out. Is there enough food? Yes! We are prepared for any and all emergencies... Stay calm. Stay seated. We will let you know about breakfast."

We seem to be seeing the last gasp of winter. Having gone though this before I assesed my situation. Very good, there was no derailment. The engineer should be commended.

[June 30, 2012 Osbert has to find Elsa or ________? will happen. This is his last stop of a long journey. July 14, 2012 "Snowdeep"? the town where Osbert gets on the train? Find a good name for town (small city).

stick in more narration. June 24, 2012 Needs more Napoleon to be cute. Too slow at front. "More oomph" as Dg. put it. More description of things.

The family would bring their own food.

June 26, 2012 Put train getting stuck in snow at the beginning with dream and sleep-- try to keep dream and sleep to minimum.

cont. Osbert gets on train early in story? (yes) Passengers (family next to) already on. Radio comes on. Osbert already on but on after passenger family.

Sleep, dream, and conductor happen early. May be Osbert talks to conductor first thing. After radio comes on.]