Dating/Courting
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.Dating 101 .
Last Week
A. Need for Wisdom in Friendships
B. Characteristics of true Friendship
C. Co-ed (non-dating) Friendship
Today
God’s word gives wisdom in what
kind of person to date and marry
1. What God Says About Real Love
2. What God Says About Courting
3. What God Says About The Goal: Marriage
What God Says About Real Love
What Love Is Not
1. Real Love is not lust
2. Real Love is not Romance
3. Real Love is not Infatuation
4. Real Love is not Conditional
What Is Real Love Then?
1. Agape Love (1 Cor 13)
a. probably a Christian invention.
b. a self-sacrificing, unconditional, consistent, selfless, expressive love.
c. God the Father demonstrated this kind of love to the world when He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross
John 3:16-17
Rom 5:8
2. Anything minus agape love equals zero (v.1-3)
a. Long Suffering (v.4)
b. Kind (v. 4)
c. Rejoicing in Truth (v.6)
d. Bearing (v.7)
e. Believing (v.7)
f. Hopeful (v.7)
g. Enduring (v.7)
h. Never Failing (v.8)
i. the Greatest and Most Important (v. 13)
Agape Love is Not
a. Envious (v. 4)
b. Bragging (v.4)
c. Puffed Up (v. 4)
d. Rude (v. 5)
e. Self Demanding (v.5)
f. Provoked (v. 5)
g. Keeping record of wrongs (v. 5)
h. Rejoicing in Unrighteousness (v. 5)
Summary
A. What Love Is Not
1. Real Love is not lust
2. Real Love is not Romance
3. Real Love is not Infatuation
4. Real Love is not Conditional
B. What Real Love Is
1. a conscious choice
2. love demonstrates or proves itself
3. Agape Love
Application
1. How do you define love?
2. is your definition the same as God’s?
3. Does your love prove itself?
4. Do you love like the world or like Jesus?
5. Are you agape loving God and others?
What God Says About Courting
What is the difference between courting and dating?
God wants us to seek guidance and wisdom from our Christian parents
Pro 6:20-24
Pro 4:20-23,
Pro 5:1-8
God wants us to date or court only other believers
2Co 6:14-15
Jdg 3:6-7
1Co 15:33-34
Gen 24:1-8
How do we know who is truly a believer?
Mat 7:16-21
Jam 2:21-26
Gal 5:16-26
1Jo 2:3-6
Tit 1:15-16
Example
Abraham’s servant prayed when he was searching for a wife for Isaac (Gen 24:10-14)
Example
Jacob offered to work for Rachel’s dad for 7 years to have her as his wife, (Gen 29:4-28)
Some more things we can look for in a person to court:
Proverbs 31
the kind of person a woman should be and the kind of woman a man is to look for in a girlfriend or wife.
virtuous (v.10)
trustworthy (v.11)
practices good (v. 12)
hard working/productive (v.13-24)
strong and honorable (v. 25)
knows when and what to say (v.26)
wise (v.26)
kind (v.26)
caring (v.27)
not lazy (v.27)
respected (v.28)
Fears God (v.30)
understands what agape love is
God want us to have high standards and guidelines to say pure
2Ti 2:22
1Th 4:3-4
God wants us to involve Him in our relationships
Pro 16:3
Psa 37:4-5
Pro 3:5-6
Pro 18:22
Paul’s opinion on singleness
1 Cor 7:6-9.
Summary
1. Courting has marriage as something to aim for in the relationship
2. God wants us to seek guidance and wisdom from our Christian parents
3. God wants us to date or court only other believers
4. How we can know who is truly a believer
5. things we can look for in a person to court:
6. the kind of person a woman should be and the kind of woman a guy is to look for in a girlfriend or wife.
7. God want us to have high standards and guidelines to be pure
8. God wants us to involve Him in our relationships
9. The best thing to do is to wait on God so that you will be able to give yourself fully to the person that God wants you to marry.
Application
1. have you asked your parents for advice about dating?.
2. have you made a commitment to not date/court an unbeliever.
3. guys, are you looking for the type of girl the bible describes?
4. girls are you the type of girl the bible describes?
5. have you made a list of what you will not compromise in?
6. do you have some one to hold you accountable?
7. do you involve God in your relationship?
What God Says About The Goal: Marriage
The motive of courting
Pro 5:18
Pro 18:22
God’s original plan for marriage
Gen 2:18-25
1Co 7:39-40
Eph 5:21-33
The Courting Relationship is a
deeper level of the friendship
relationship
We can use the Characteristics of
True Friendship:
1. Initiation
2. Encouragement/Support
3. Risk
4. Spirituality
5. Humility/ Selflessness
6. Growth
7. Sharing
8. Mutual Exchange (works both ways)
9. Trust/Loyalty
10. Honesty
11. Sensitivity
12. Forgiveness/ Restoration
13. Love
Things to Consider:
a. do we both know Jesus personally? (2 Cor 6:14)
b. is Jesus Christ first in our relationship?
c. have we both sought the will of God?
d. do we agape love each other? (1Cor 13)
e. there should be not just physical attraction and an emotional connection but also most importantly spiritual compatibility.
Summary
1. The motive of courting— marriage
2. God’s original plan for marriage
3. the roles described for a wife and for a husband can be applied in our courting/dating relationships
4. the Courting Relationship is a deeper level of friendship
a. use the Characteristics of True Friendship:
Application
1. what is your reason for dating/courting?
2. do you both have a personal relationship with Jesus?
3. is Jesus Christ first in your relationship?
4. have you both sought the will of God?
5. do you agape love each other? (1Cor 13)
6. Are you willing to do what the Bible says about courting and marriage
7. Are you both willing to submit to the role that God has assigned for you if you get married?
8. are ready for courtship? Only you can truly answer that.
If you want to have a good courting/dating relationship, and experience true agape love, then you must begin with your relationship with God.
1Jo 4:19 We love [God and other people] because he [God] loved us first (NET).
God shows us how to agape love.