Had a face

Just to look in the mirror,

damn scared,

quite uncertain

will I not be deceived?

As quiet as a jersey cow,

Being one among the household womenfolk

To perform rites, to cook, to feed;

These alone were the daily routine

Of my mother; to whom there was

No work nor hobby apart therefrom.

A face of her own,

Had she?

I don’t know!

When she fed me, a suckling, form her breasts

Her colourless lips would slightly depart.

Baby Christ would be reflected them

In the mirror polished on my mind.

Again, when country girls would glance

Their young master with adoration, I saw

In the mirror the young Cow-herd who was

A craving in the hearts of milkmaids.

Had them also faces?

Sorry, I didn’t attempt

To find out the fact then!

When village elders would extol the exploits

of my late grand father komappan

and look at me with express admiration

I saw in the mirror reflected the arrival

of palat koman riding on his elephant

They were verily faceless,

Mere looking glasses

To reflect my face!

Now to reach at the other side

Of this city road unusually wide,

With their eyes fixed on the dole –faced

Man in red and to seen the green one

Come alive, several faces sand waiting but none

Look at my face! My trembling hands

Are not rising to touch and feel

The earthen pot placed mouth down over

The stem of my neck, fearing lest

My handsome face is not there!

Faces moves on in an unbroken column,

I see misery, hope, love and fright in them,

Distinct expressions on differing faces,

Thousand faces several different!

Even by an accident

Till now I didn’t

Look into a mirror

To see my face.

Try now?

Not quite sure!

Will not be deceived?

***

A warrior hero in Kerala Folk songs.

(Translated from MALAYALAM by the poet.)

(Image: "Girl before mirror" by Picasso. Source: Flickr)