Curly Girl: The Handbook. A Celebration of Curls: How to Cut Them, Care for Them, Love Them, and Set Them Free, by Lorraine Massey and Deborah Chiel
This book completely changed my relationship with my hair. I don't follow Massey's advice to the word, but her guidance has helped me think for myself and has freed me from the tyranny I grew up with from a) the 70s and b) my family. It's worth it even if you buy it new.
Original edition: http://www.powells.com/biblio?PID=28461&cgi=product&isbn=0761123008#product_details
(New edition, with which I'm not familiar: http://www.workman.com/products/9780761156789/)
Curl Talk, by Ouidad
This book was also very helpful for me in figuring out how to adapt no-poo and other curl-friendly methods for my particular hair.
WikiHow: How to Follow the Curly Girl Method for Curly Hair
Salons where I've had really good, happy-curl cuts:
Ann Arbor: Serendipity Salon, anyone there, http://www.a2serendipity.com/
Seattle: Salon Divine, Kim Henry or anyone they suggest, http://salondivineseattle.com/
Philadelphia area: Blume Salon, Montgomeryville, anyone they suggest, http://www.blumesalon.com/
My best technique for finding a good salon or stylist when I move, it's turned out, really has been asking people whose curly hair I like, "Where do you get your hair cut?" Sometimes this has meant asking complete and total strangers on the bus. Curly-headed folks, it turns out, often completely understand this and do not find it strange. Whew.
NaturallyCurly.com
Discussions, articles, salon finder, product reviews, how to cope with your kid's hair.... Sometimes I find the site useful, sometimes I find it annoying; I include it in case it's useful for you.
MyDevaCurl - Curly Stylist Finder
http://www.mydevacurl.com/curly_stylist_finder
Good way to find someone who is trained to cut curly hair dry!