Below is the painfully realistic statement given at the free discussion forum, one of the devotees (1-6) logged in as ''awakened'' , may 2011.
I am one of swAmi’s ex “wives”. The first time that I had a sexual experience with him he told me that we have been reincarnating together for yugas and yugas and that I am his wife… at that time I was still very young and was a virgin… I did not know what to make of his words. I was not supposed to sleep with any other man, not supposed to have a family and I was supposed to be totally in his service… I went to Vienna many times for that purpose and slept in an apartment where his gopies lived together. Sometimes there were 3 or 4 women in the same apartment living there, some from Czech, some from Croatia, some from Slovenia, Hungary… the team was changed almost every year, only one “wife” stayed there all the time… The girls who came to live there were completely unprepared. In the beginning they did not understand the language, did not have a job and had to arrange everything on their own just to be near him in his service, waiting for his merciful call… It was a very sad situation…. he was calling them from time to time and that was what they were/are living for. A few weeks after it happened to me, I found out that I am not one of the chosen ones but that we are really many. In the next few years my preoccupation at the seminars was who is who. I could recognise immediately which of the girls were involved in his game at that moment. You could see who was going to become his wife, who was his main wife in that moment, and who was heartbroken. The reactions of women were very similar to mine: Before the “marriage” ‐ completely devoted and humble, during: not such humble behaviour anymore – I am special and you people do not know what I know, so you are all stupid… the look becomes more wild and flirting with a master and other males too… after: suffering and confusion ‐ he does not want me any more (because he is in love with another girl or because I am not worthy of his love) – here there could be two reactions: anger or crying and sadness – both coming out of a sense of heartbreak. If we were his “wives” with all these hard core conditions he should at least behave as a husband but he did not. He did not take care of me, did not even look at me and did not offer me any attention. What was I to do with such an experience? I explained it to myself as tapas – a very hard condition to go through and many different stupid explanations… it took me up to 3 or even more years to give up the idea that he will ever call me again… I felt guilty somehow that I was not worthy enough of his love …
It is fortunate that I wasn’t “worthy” in that way! That allowed me to be a little bit distant from the whole situation and it made it possible for me to start living a normal life. Until 2 months ago I did not find any “wife” who had the same bad feelings I had. Due to the internet I found out I was not alone… The girls I spoke with in the past were all very proud to be part of his “loving” games. They explained to me that what he is doing is tantra. Raising your kundalini to the higher state of consciousness. I never felt anything like that. I felt only confused, humiliated and stupid. I knew only that I didn't understand a thing. I blamed myself for the total disaster that happened each time I was there with him. And I was always hoping for another chance where I could make it better. He was not loving at all. The game always started with I love you, hug, blowjob and good night. Nothing in between. No love. No care. I had always the same experience… quite bad, don't you think? In front of me he was having sex – not only oral, with another girl. In the meantime we were kissing. I was with him only a few times, each time hoping for a better “kundalini result” but it never happened. The last time I was in his bed I was still a virgin. He ordered to his other wife ‘Next time bring one sheet because there will be a lot of blood’. Quite spooky. (He wanted to take my virginity and he said it would be very bloody). Fortunately there was no next time because I spoke about these things to my very close friend. And after his (my friend's) break of nerves we became lovers… hard times I must admit… It took me many years not to expect swAmi's calls in the middle of the night during the seminars… even though I had a boyfriend. And I knew that swAmi was also sleeping with married
women… it took me years not to wish for that anymore… I find this fact very disturbing but you can find this strange reaction of the mind in most elementary psychology books concerning abuse. So do not ask me how come… you can read the explanation there…