my 27,900¢ worth…

It has just occurred to me how quickly one could go broke offering unsolicited opinions. When someone asks you for your thoughts, see, they offer you a penny for your thoughts. But when you offer up your advice, you’re giving two-cents’ worth. When I emailed Paul Kilduff of The Monthly, I didn’t consider the hidden cost of going out there and saying what I think. On the contrary, I thought I was giving him a chance to write about something absolutely fascinating: me.  But as it turned out, that interview actually secretly cost me two hundred and seventy-nine dollars.

It was a very enjoyable interview. If you somehow missed the newsstand or online edition (check the last page),  you can read or listen to the whole thing right here. Paul put me at ease and soon I was living out my Terry Gross fantasies. But halfway through the interview, when we are talking about the unique challenges of women, and just as I am about to share a thought about how distracted we can get with all the extra responsibilities and details and time-sinks we end up in charge of… I hear a shout from the yard. Still talking, I go to the door to look.. and there stands a scowling police officer holding my smiling dog, an upstanding canine citizen who had  wandered out for just a minute to lick the street clean after the rain-swollen gate blew open after the new UPS guy didn't fully latch it. “Hang up the phone, ma’am,” the officer commands.

“But this is the only press I’ve been able to muster up all year,” I want to say. “I’m right in the middle of a very important interview with Paul Kilduff… do you hear me, Paul Kilduff!” But she’s glowering at me in that professional your tax dollars pay me to be the boss of you way so instead I tell Paul, “My dog is under arrest… you understand, right?” And hope he won’t roll his eyes and think, Just like a woman.

Anyway, the ticket is paid, the interview is finally out, and like the professional he is, Paul made no mention of my collapsing personal life. In fact, he made me sound like a successful and optimistic author who can afford the occasional dog-crime. But let’s see… (divide 279 by... 13.99... adjust for out the printing costs and taxes… hey, maybe that's why it's a penny to two cents...)...yes, I’m sincerely hoping 55.8 people will read the interview and be so fascinated they rush out and buy my book!

Because, the truth is… (if you’re asking), there are at least 1500 thoughts in Perfectly Revolting worth at least a penny each…!

Unobtrusive links:

Get it now for $13.99 • Bookstores click here